13 ms·

How to defend yourself when your photo is ridiculed on Reddit

145 points by tomhoward 13y ago

JTon 13y ago
Top notch advice right there. There's a lot of sympathy to be found when you put a person (and their feelings) side by side with the joke. Hell, I felt bad just reading her response.
rfnslyr 13y ago
Just COMPLETELY ignore it. I truly believe after spending so much time on Reddit I became a worse person by being exposed to the same regurgitated/top voted opinions on things nobody should be talking about unless qualified (which you can't verify). I realized after a few years after taking an objective look at my life how much I had changed. If you dwell in a medium, you tend to absorb it, and that's the only medium I dwelled in. It's taken me quite awhile to get back to being a normal, nice, human being, sometimes I still slip up in real life. Every topic I've been exposed to ad nauseam on Reddit that I experience in real life, I have to consciously drop all my preconceptions on the topic that I developed online and look at it with a fresh mind, it's slowly helping. It's a podium for anyone who has an unqualified opinion to suddenly voice it for no real reason. That, combined with the broken upvote system promoting terrible content is a recipe for disaster. "Reddit: the front page of an on going Dunning-Kruger effect study". You don't stand to gain anything from Reddit. The comments are largely terrible unless you visit very niche subreddits that are moderated and/or have verified users. You can argue that some smaller subreddits have really good content, but do they REALLY? Maybe you'll find a few cool links, some good comments, and an odd article or two. The reality is, nobody who has a credible opinion on something is going to bother wasting time having in depth conversations on an anonymous message board, so how good can the content quality possibly get? I realized how bad Reddit was when I started following comment threads and analysis on other websites on he same articles as Reddit. What was upvoted as total truth (top comment) on certain articles was just scraping the bottom of the barrel. It's basically: hunt for topic -> scrape some shit off the internet (be it wikipedia or whatever site) -> loosely compose it into some shit essay everyone will upvote with a strong ideal behind it -> top comment. This goes for every Reddit thread. I'm mad and disappointed in myself for wasting so many years on it. It's a shit flinging contest determined by fake points called "karma" that people, for some odd reason, REALLY REALLY care about, mitigating any hope for a quality discussion. Great response OP. edit: toned down the vulgarity of the original post edit2: My comment is towards the default subreddits, not small niche subreddits that you have to hunt for yourself to find.
- tlrobinson 13y ago
  The trick with Reddit is to ignore all of the default frontpage subreddits and find the niche ones that interest you. There are some great communities buried under the crap.
- consultutah 13y ago
  what's reddit? ;)
- nabla9 13y ago
  You are using reddit wrong. You don't have to use Reddit in default setting. Unsubscribe from everything and then select those subreddits that are nice. You don't have to look at comments if you don't like their contents. There are several nice and tightly moderated reddits that are great. For example /r/askhistorians and /r/askscience and several others.
  - glogla 13y ago
    Not to mention, some of the arguments can be made about HN without changing a word. Reddit is different because people tend to chose subreddits that they care about, so the discussions are generally more positive. For example, there are small subreddits about FirefoxOS or Jolla, that contain discussions about both topics, and are quite enthusiastic. On the other hand, any HN discussion about those topics is full of people who are doing nothing but complaining, putting (the thing) down and nay-saying.
    - psbp 13y ago
      I was waiting for the conclusion "just like HN", but I guess they carry the same delusions about HN not being a trite hivemind that they once did for reddit.
  - rfnslyr 13y ago
    But that's the thing. There is no actual real reason to go on Reddit. If I want to read something about the French Revolution, I'm going to pick up a book about it by a qualified author that I'll research before hand. By simple virtue of being on Reddit, regardless of subreddit, you are wasting your own time. It doesn't matter HOW good the top comment is, ultimately it's a gamble. How do you know if what you're reading is real? Trust, I've been on the site for like 7 years now and I've been to nearly every sub deemed "worthy". Almost in every situation, I'd prefer an entirely new forum specifically dedicated to that topic. By design, it's just a comment system without any features really, and that design promotes a certain behaviour, which plagues the intention of the poster in the first place, because it's not longer about sharing information, it's about sharing information in the context of it earning more upvotes, so the content becomes corrupt.
wil421 13y ago
These kind of comments are what caused me to never comment on the internet about things. I always hated the negative tone people have on the internet and how critical they always are. Its easy to say things when you arent looking at someone in the face. Recently I have started commenting on various websites and I am enjoying it but still those negative people come out of the woodwork given an opportunity. I too sometimes fall into that behavior but never say anything humiliating.
- ahuth 13y ago
  Well said. You're also unusually self-aware. Most people making those kinds of comments would ever consider that they're doing something wrong.
cylinder 13y ago
This is really admirable of you. To be clear, you have nothing to defend, you only had to point out how shitty other people are.
- transitionality 13y ago
  Why do I always seem to be running into the word "shitty" in criticisms or attacks that can't substantiate themselves?
  - cylinder 13y ago
    Please explain how my criticism of those people's behavior can't substantiate itself.
    - transitionality 13y ago
      Please explain how it does.
      - deleted 13y ago
        [deleted]
  - PavlovsCat 13y ago
    Why do those who can't hack the "exercise left for the reader" never directly ask for help?
    - transitionality 13y ago
      It's not the job of your interlocutor to make your argument for you. If you can't make your own argument, you don't have an argument.
      - PavlovsCat 13y ago
        You could replace "shitty" with "thoughtless", "callous", "cruel" for example. It's quicker, and more satisfying, to simply use the shorthand "shitty". Also, what argument? Does the fact that the lady in question did not have anything to defend against, nothing to be ashamed of, really hinge on the exact definition of the shittyness of reddit trolls? Heh. So it's simply a statement. And if you disagree that such behaviour is shitty, make your case. If you don't, I really wonder what we're even talking about here.
pkfrank 13y ago
Here's another great response from someone who was unfairly bullied on Reddit. "Subway Sitter" responds-- http://www.reddit.com/r/nyc/comments/1m3pvq/being_a_workaholic_is_no_excuse_for_being_an/cc5hr09 http://www.reddit.com/r/nyc/comments/1m3pvq/being_a_workahol...
aw3c2 13y ago
WARNING: Potentially disturbing image of a skin illness edit: Dear downvoters, I found that image disturbing and wish I had not seen it. I am sorry if this offends the person depicted but it is the truth.
- ahuth 13y ago
  The image is NOT disturbing in the slightest. She looks a little bit different than "normal." Get over it.
  - hnha 13y ago
    I share op's feeling. At least on that image the skin looks very raw, like it has been peeled or burned off. It absolutely does not look normal and can be disturbing to unexpecting observers (me included). If it was normal there would be no post about it. Looks don't mean much about a person and I am sure she is nice. No one should be ridiculed for their looks. But please have some sympathy with people who feel uneasy looking at diseases (not a native speaker, probably the wrong term).
    - StavrosK 13y ago
      "Conditions" is the word.
    - skeletonjelly 13y ago
      Come off it mate. You were saved from this enduring condition and a thousand others. Have a little perspective.
  - transitionality 13y ago
    It is EXTREMELY disturbing and a TRIGGER WARNING should have been included in the title.
    - ceol 13y ago
      Please, go back to reddit. Your posting history on this website is complete shit.
skinnycow 13y ago
This post is awesome and deserves much better feedback than "reddit sux lol". Thanks for taking the time to write it OP, as well as sharing it with reddit in the first place. I think it was probably a beneficial thing overall. Cheers.
dmunoz 13y ago
This isn't the first time something like this has happened. See this post [0], to which the person from the picture responds [1]. Reddit does seem to have a problem with people who want to make fun of others posting, and unfortunately the content does get upvoted. I can't stand the people on reddit that take secret photos of others and post them. But don't write reddit off because of this juvenile behaviour. Read my responses to rfnslyr to see why I feel reddit has a lot to offer. As an example, from the post I shared links to, I learnt something about the Sikh faith that I would not have otherwise, although I do wish that the post was never initially made. [0] http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/109cnf/im_not_sure_what_to_conclude_from_this/ http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/109cnf/im_not_sure_wh... [1] http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/109cnf/im_not_sure_what_to_conclude_from_this/c6bqtpd http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/109cnf/im_not_sure_wh...
- grecy 13y ago
  >Reddit does seem to have a problem with people who want to make fun of others I always thought that's because there are many teenagers active on Reddit. I think ridiculing others in an attempt to elevate ones own status is a very common phase for insecure teenagers to go through. My experience is almost everyone grows out of it.
  - ceol 13y ago
    Most redditors are actually college-aged,[0] with the majority being between 25 and 44.[1] [0]: http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2013/07/reddit-demographics-in-one-chart/277513/ http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2013/07/reddit... [1]: http://royal.pingdom.com/2012/08/21/report-social-network-demographics-in-2012/ http://royal.pingdom.com/2012/08/21/report-social-network-de...
elleferrer 13y ago
The internet can be a harsh place at times, but there are equally good people who will have your back, I'm glad she was able to embrace that. "I am resilient. I've got thick skin. These are just words on a screen. I am safe and loved, strong and intelligent, and can fight back with awesome."
stefantalpalaru 13y ago
It's interesting how the (out of character) resentment undermines an otherwise high road response: "I fought back" "I felt a bit sick" "I was content (...) and these posters were making fun of a stranger on the Internet" "Think about how that impacts a stranger. Their parents, their partner, their children. Stop being a coward behind a screen." "the Internet is full of pretty awful people"
- chris_wot 13y ago
  So you think she shouldn't feel resentful for people being nasty about her?
- djillionsmix 13y ago
  No it doesn't
- girvo 13y ago
  It really doesn't undermine her "high road" response, IMO. Just shows she is human. Which is sort of the entire point.
fragsworth 13y ago
How to defend yourself when your photo is ridiculed on Reddit: Explain to them how they're ridiculing a disease they didn't realize you had. If you are ridiculed doing something actually ridiculous, especially something that's your own fault, you're going to have a much harder time defending it...
- ahuth 13y ago
  Nobody should be ridiculing anybody for their looks, disease or not.
  - transitionality 13y ago
    Most of the time, your ridiculous looks are your own damn fault, and deserves ridicule. Yes, this includes fatness.
    - corin_ 13y ago
      Fatness is the one I can't stand people getting upset about (as in, upset when people make fun of it). I'm fat, if anyone wants to take the piss then I'm fine with it. Sure, there can be situations out of your control - I, for example, do believe that my genes aren't helpful to my weight based on family members and anecdotal evidence, but at the end of the day if I really cared I'm perfectly aware that I could be skinny, I just happen to chose to eat great food, and too much of it, and do far too little exercise. If you mock me for being gay I might be offended, but for being fat.. that's my own damn fault, I know how to stop being fat but I don't care enough to do it, currently. If anyone wants to laugh at that, give a shit,
      - transitionality 13y ago
        I like to summarize all that with: No fat Somalians. People tend not to argue.
        yen223 13y ago
buckbova 13y ago
> "What does your vagina look like?" That's probably a natural question for the curious 12 yr olds of reddit to be asking. I wouldn't take offense.
democracy 13y ago
I really admire this person, the way she can handle the situation as a smart intelligent experienced person, the best of luck to her and her friends and family - their love and friendsheip is what matters really, nothing else. Merry Christmas!
sanskritabelt 13y ago
Reddit is great if you're looking for a place for: * Mens Rights Advocacy * Bitcoin chat * Creepshots * Jailbait creepshots
- tyrust 13y ago
  You really haven't contributed anything to this conversation beyond further emphasizing the fact that people in comment sections say inane things for attention. Reddit is just a platform on which any community can form. If you have a problem with certain subreddits reddit is not your problem, humanity is.
  - sanskritabelt 13y ago
    Communities don't form in a vacuum, site ownership abetted, if not encouraged, the reddit culture: A few years ago, while Jailbait was still going strong, Reddit's administrators gave him a special one-of-a-kind "pimp hat" badge to honor his contributions to the site, which he proudly displayed on his profile. Brutsch said he was even in the final running for a job as a customer support representative at Reddit last year. (http://gawker.com/5950981/unmasking-reddits-violentacrez-the-biggest-troll-on-the-web http://gawker.com/5950981/unmasking-reddits-violentacrez-the...)
    - tyrust 13y ago
      Reddit has pretty much always had a laissez-faire approach to administration of subreddits. As long as it was legal it was ok. I really don't want to touch the violentacrez case, but he was given that award in recognition for serving as a moderator of a boatload of subreddits. It's not like the admins said "nice CP, here's a pimp hat". And once again you are simply ignoring the fact that Reddit is not one entity. There is no single "reddit culture".
      - ceol 13y ago
        There is. There is a single culture that tends to upvote the same things over and over again. Reddit.com is defined by its default subreddits — its front page. The fact that other subs exist doesn't negate the very real culture that has risen to the top of the site like the layer of oil on a cold, disgusting bowl of soup.
kika 13y ago
Controversially, this is what I love Reddit for. I (and I believe a lot of other HN frequents) live in a bubble. We rarely meet people outside of the bubble - ask yourself when did you speak IRL with a real racist, for example? I remember this recent thread about his/her/them/their and a poor chap from Joyent. This is a special form of "sexism for us in the bubble". You just don't want to know what real sexism is. Reddit allows me to look outside this bubble without actually meeting these people. And to adjust my gauges, and to educate myself (it's easy to laugh at some weird looking gal on the internets, but much less easy if you've learned what she went through and what her disease means, etc). TL;DR: If you feel the urge to laugh and you see that the Reddit crowd laughs too, then probably you need to google around first. Chances are you won't be able to laugh and sometimes you'd cry instead. Which in itself a useful emotional exercise for (way too much) rational people.
- mherkender 13y ago
  I see it a bit differently myself. All online communities seem to end up the same way, people group together based on shared interests, which tends to lead to a false-consensus bias. Ironically, I think much of reddit has fallen victim to this bias, while simultaneously believing reddit is resistant to these kinds of biases because it is free-speech friendly. But in actuality, reddit is generally filled with straight, white, English-speaking, college educated, single, 18-25, middle-class males [1] [2]. Reddit sees more of traits, perspectives, problems, etc of these groups and less of others. I see a lot of hostility towards perspectives that come from groups who fall outside the criteria above. In other words, I see plenty of racists on reddit -- just not non-white racists. In my opinion, this is not looking outside my bubble, it's looking in at a smaller part of my own bubble. [1] http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/gzb2w/i_made_a_basic_reddit_demographic_survey_lets/c1re10k http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/gzb2w/i_made_a_b... [2] http://www.ignitesocialmedia.com/social-media-stats/2012-social-network-analysis-report/#Reddit http://www.ignitesocialmedia.com/social-media-stats/2012-soc...
  - kika 13y ago
    IMHO, Reddit is just too big a community, there's no shared interest. Just too many people. I'm speaking about large subreddits like the one discussed here, /politics, etc. Also, there's no problem "seeing" plenty of racists on Reddit or whereever, but I was talking real life.
harvestmoon 13y ago
Reddit is useful to me because I read subreddits that are interesting. Stuff like /r/offmychest /r/confession can provide a unique perspective on life. For discussing TV shows (which I have to admit, I enjoy), it's also quite good. And if you are an artist making music, I honestly think Reddit would be one of the best ways to succeed if you carefully researched the right subreddits. So it's not all bad. The default pages are generally quite brain-dead, particularly "adviceanimals."
pervycreeper 13y ago
This is less alarming than the potential that private-social-network based sites such as facebook, etc. have for mockery and harassment. Imagine if someone locally took a surreptitious photo and posted it to a social networking site, it ended up spreading, and this woman would be walking around in public, unaware that she was an object of mockery to the strangers around her. At least, since this was posted on the public internet, it eventually was able to gain the benefit of wide scrutiny, and the original posters were somewhat chastened.

145 points by tomhoward 13y ago

JTon 13y ago

Top notch advice right there. There's a lot of sympathy to be found when you put a person (and their feelings) side by side with the joke. Hell, I felt bad just reading her response.

rfnslyr 13y ago

Just COMPLETELY ignore it. I truly believe after spending so much time on Reddit I became a worse person by being exposed to the same regurgitated/top voted opinions on things nobody should be talking about unless qualified (which you can't verify). I realized after a few years after taking an objective look at my life how much I had changed. If you dwell in a medium, you tend to absorb it, and that's the only medium I dwelled in. It's taken me quite awhile to get back to being a normal, nice, human being, sometimes I still slip up in real life. Every topic I've been exposed to ad nauseam on Reddit that I experience in real life, I have to consciously drop all my preconceptions on the topic that I developed online and look at it with a fresh mind, it's slowly helping. It's a podium for anyone who has an unqualified opinion to suddenly voice it for no real reason. That, combined with the broken upvote system promoting terrible content is a recipe for disaster. "Reddit: the front page of an on going Dunning-Kruger effect study". You don't stand to gain anything from Reddit. The comments are largely terrible unless you visit very niche subreddits that are moderated and/or have verified users. You can argue that some smaller subreddits have really good content, but do they REALLY? Maybe you'll find a few cool links, some good comments, and an odd article or two. The reality is, nobody who has a credible opinion on something is going to bother wasting time having in depth conversations on an anonymous message board, so how good can the content quality possibly get? I realized how bad Reddit was when I started following comment threads and analysis on other websites on he same articles as Reddit. What was upvoted as total truth (top comment) on certain articles was just scraping the bottom of the barrel. It's basically: hunt for topic -> scrape some shit off the internet (be it wikipedia or whatever site) -> loosely compose it into some shit essay everyone will upvote with a strong ideal behind it -> top comment. This goes for every Reddit thread. I'm mad and disappointed in myself for wasting so many years on it. It's a shit flinging contest determined by fake points called "karma" that people, for some odd reason, REALLY REALLY care about, mitigating any hope for a quality discussion. Great response OP. edit: toned down the vulgarity of the original post edit2: My comment is towards the default subreddits, not small niche subreddits that you have to hunt for yourself to find.

tlrobinson 13y ago
The trick with Reddit is to ignore all of the default frontpage subreddits and find the niche ones that interest you. There are some great communities buried under the crap.
consultutah 13y ago
what's reddit? ;)
nabla9 13y ago
You are using reddit wrong. You don't have to use Reddit in default setting. Unsubscribe from everything and then select those subreddits that are nice. You don't have to look at comments if you don't like their contents. There are several nice and tightly moderated reddits that are great. For example /r/askhistorians and /r/askscience and several others.
- glogla 13y ago
  Not to mention, some of the arguments can be made about HN without changing a word. Reddit is different because people tend to chose subreddits that they care about, so the discussions are generally more positive. For example, there are small subreddits about FirefoxOS or Jolla, that contain discussions about both topics, and are quite enthusiastic. On the other hand, any HN discussion about those topics is full of people who are doing nothing but complaining, putting (the thing) down and nay-saying.
  - psbp 13y ago
    I was waiting for the conclusion "just like HN", but I guess they carry the same delusions about HN not being a trite hivemind that they once did for reddit.
- rfnslyr 13y ago
  But that's the thing. There is no actual real reason to go on Reddit. If I want to read something about the French Revolution, I'm going to pick up a book about it by a qualified author that I'll research before hand. By simple virtue of being on Reddit, regardless of subreddit, you are wasting your own time. It doesn't matter HOW good the top comment is, ultimately it's a gamble. How do you know if what you're reading is real? Trust, I've been on the site for like 7 years now and I've been to nearly every sub deemed "worthy". Almost in every situation, I'd prefer an entirely new forum specifically dedicated to that topic. By design, it's just a comment system without any features really, and that design promotes a certain behaviour, which plagues the intention of the poster in the first place, because it's not longer about sharing information, it's about sharing information in the context of it earning more upvotes, so the content becomes corrupt.

wil421 13y ago

These kind of comments are what caused me to never comment on the internet about things. I always hated the negative tone people have on the internet and how critical they always are. Its easy to say things when you arent looking at someone in the face. Recently I have started commenting on various websites and I am enjoying it but still those negative people come out of the woodwork given an opportunity. I too sometimes fall into that behavior but never say anything humiliating.

ahuth 13y ago
Well said. You're also unusually self-aware. Most people making those kinds of comments would ever consider that they're doing something wrong.

cylinder 13y ago

This is really admirable of you. To be clear, you have nothing to defend, you only had to point out how shitty other people are.

transitionality 13y ago
Why do I always seem to be running into the word "shitty" in criticisms or attacks that can't substantiate themselves?
- cylinder 13y ago
  Please explain how my criticism of those people's behavior can't substantiate itself.
  - transitionality 13y ago
    Please explain how it does.
    - deleted 13y ago
      [deleted]
- PavlovsCat 13y ago
  Why do those who can't hack the "exercise left for the reader" never directly ask for help?
  - transitionality 13y ago
    It's not the job of your interlocutor to make your argument for you. If you can't make your own argument, you don't have an argument.
    - PavlovsCat 13y ago
      You could replace "shitty" with "thoughtless", "callous", "cruel" for example. It's quicker, and more satisfying, to simply use the shorthand "shitty". Also, what argument? Does the fact that the lady in question did not have anything to defend against, nothing to be ashamed of, really hinge on the exact definition of the shittyness of reddit trolls? Heh. So it's simply a statement. And if you disagree that such behaviour is shitty, make your case. If you don't, I really wonder what we're even talking about here.

pkfrank 13y ago

Here's another great response from someone who was unfairly bullied on Reddit. "Subway Sitter" responds-- http://www.reddit.com/r/nyc/comments/1m3pvq/being_a_workaholic_is_no_excuse_for_being_an/cc5hr09 http://www.reddit.com/r/nyc/comments/1m3pvq/being_a_workahol...

aw3c2 13y ago

WARNING: Potentially disturbing image of a skin illness edit: Dear downvoters, I found that image disturbing and wish I had not seen it. I am sorry if this offends the person depicted but it is the truth.

ahuth 13y ago
The image is NOT disturbing in the slightest. She looks a little bit different than "normal." Get over it.
- hnha 13y ago
  I share op's feeling. At least on that image the skin looks very raw, like it has been peeled or burned off. It absolutely does not look normal and can be disturbing to unexpecting observers (me included). If it was normal there would be no post about it. Looks don't mean much about a person and I am sure she is nice. No one should be ridiculed for their looks. But please have some sympathy with people who feel uneasy looking at diseases (not a native speaker, probably the wrong term).
  - StavrosK 13y ago
    "Conditions" is the word.
  - skeletonjelly 13y ago
    Come off it mate. You were saved from this enduring condition and a thousand others. Have a little perspective.
- transitionality 13y ago
  It is EXTREMELY disturbing and a TRIGGER WARNING should have been included in the title.
  - ceol 13y ago
    Please, go back to reddit. Your posting history on this website is complete shit.

skinnycow 13y ago

This post is awesome and deserves much better feedback than "reddit sux lol". Thanks for taking the time to write it OP, as well as sharing it with reddit in the first place. I think it was probably a beneficial thing overall. Cheers.

dmunoz 13y ago

This isn't the first time something like this has happened. See this post [0], to which the person from the picture responds [1]. Reddit does seem to have a problem with people who want to make fun of others posting, and unfortunately the content does get upvoted. I can't stand the people on reddit that take secret photos of others and post them. But don't write reddit off because of this juvenile behaviour. Read my responses to rfnslyr to see why I feel reddit has a lot to offer. As an example, from the post I shared links to, I learnt something about the Sikh faith that I would not have otherwise, although I do wish that the post was never initially made. [0] http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/109cnf/im_not_sure_what_to_conclude_from_this/ http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/109cnf/im_not_sure_wh... [1] http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/109cnf/im_not_sure_what_to_conclude_from_this/c6bqtpd http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/109cnf/im_not_sure_wh...

grecy 13y ago
>Reddit does seem to have a problem with people who want to make fun of others I always thought that's because there are many teenagers active on Reddit. I think ridiculing others in an attempt to elevate ones own status is a very common phase for insecure teenagers to go through. My experience is almost everyone grows out of it.
- ceol 13y ago
  Most redditors are actually college-aged,[0] with the majority being between 25 and 44.[1] [0]: http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2013/07/reddit-demographics-in-one-chart/277513/ http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2013/07/reddit... [1]: http://royal.pingdom.com/2012/08/21/report-social-network-demographics-in-2012/ http://royal.pingdom.com/2012/08/21/report-social-network-de...

elleferrer 13y ago

The internet can be a harsh place at times, but there are equally good people who will have your back, I'm glad she was able to embrace that. "I am resilient. I've got thick skin. These are just words on a screen. I am safe and loved, strong and intelligent, and can fight back with awesome."

stefantalpalaru 13y ago

It's interesting how the (out of character) resentment undermines an otherwise high road response: "I fought back" "I felt a bit sick" "I was content (...) and these posters were making fun of a stranger on the Internet" "Think about how that impacts a stranger. Their parents, their partner, their children. Stop being a coward behind a screen." "the Internet is full of pretty awful people"

chris_wot 13y ago
So you think she shouldn't feel resentful for people being nasty about her?
djillionsmix 13y ago
No it doesn't
girvo 13y ago
It really doesn't undermine her "high road" response, IMO. Just shows she is human. Which is sort of the entire point.

fragsworth 13y ago

How to defend yourself when your photo is ridiculed on Reddit: Explain to them how they're ridiculing a disease they didn't realize you had. If you are ridiculed doing something actually ridiculous, especially something that's your own fault, you're going to have a much harder time defending it...

ahuth 13y ago
Nobody should be ridiculing anybody for their looks, disease or not.
- transitionality 13y ago
  Most of the time, your ridiculous looks are your own damn fault, and deserves ridicule. Yes, this includes fatness.
  - corin_ 13y ago
    Fatness is the one I can't stand people getting upset about (as in, upset when people make fun of it). I'm fat, if anyone wants to take the piss then I'm fine with it. Sure, there can be situations out of your control - I, for example, do believe that my genes aren't helpful to my weight based on family members and anecdotal evidence, but at the end of the day if I really cared I'm perfectly aware that I could be skinny, I just happen to chose to eat great food, and too much of it, and do far too little exercise. If you mock me for being gay I might be offended, but for being fat.. that's my own damn fault, I know how to stop being fat but I don't care enough to do it, currently. If anyone wants to laugh at that, give a shit,
    - transitionality 13y ago
      I like to summarize all that with: No fat Somalians. People tend not to argue.
      - yen223 13y ago

buckbova 13y ago

> "What does your vagina look like?" That's probably a natural question for the curious 12 yr olds of reddit to be asking. I wouldn't take offense.

democracy 13y ago

I really admire this person, the way she can handle the situation as a smart intelligent experienced person, the best of luck to her and her friends and family - their love and friendsheip is what matters really, nothing else. Merry Christmas!

sanskritabelt 13y ago

Reddit is great if you're looking for a place for: * Mens Rights Advocacy * Bitcoin chat * Creepshots * Jailbait creepshots

tyrust 13y ago
You really haven't contributed anything to this conversation beyond further emphasizing the fact that people in comment sections say inane things for attention. Reddit is just a platform on which any community can form. If you have a problem with certain subreddits reddit is not your problem, humanity is.
- sanskritabelt 13y ago
  Communities don't form in a vacuum, site ownership abetted, if not encouraged, the reddit culture: A few years ago, while Jailbait was still going strong, Reddit's administrators gave him a special one-of-a-kind "pimp hat" badge to honor his contributions to the site, which he proudly displayed on his profile. Brutsch said he was even in the final running for a job as a customer support representative at Reddit last year. (http://gawker.com/5950981/unmasking-reddits-violentacrez-the-biggest-troll-on-the-web http://gawker.com/5950981/unmasking-reddits-violentacrez-the...)
  - tyrust 13y ago
    Reddit has pretty much always had a laissez-faire approach to administration of subreddits. As long as it was legal it was ok. I really don't want to touch the violentacrez case, but he was given that award in recognition for serving as a moderator of a boatload of subreddits. It's not like the admins said "nice CP, here's a pimp hat". And once again you are simply ignoring the fact that Reddit is not one entity. There is no single "reddit culture".
    - ceol 13y ago
      There is. There is a single culture that tends to upvote the same things over and over again. Reddit.com is defined by its default subreddits — its front page. The fact that other subs exist doesn't negate the very real culture that has risen to the top of the site like the layer of oil on a cold, disgusting bowl of soup.

kika 13y ago

Controversially, this is what I love Reddit for. I (and I believe a lot of other HN frequents) live in a bubble. We rarely meet people outside of the bubble - ask yourself when did you speak IRL with a real racist, for example? I remember this recent thread about his/her/them/their and a poor chap from Joyent. This is a special form of "sexism for us in the bubble". You just don't want to know what real sexism is. Reddit allows me to look outside this bubble without actually meeting these people. And to adjust my gauges, and to educate myself (it's easy to laugh at some weird looking gal on the internets, but much less easy if you've learned what she went through and what her disease means, etc). TL;DR: If you feel the urge to laugh and you see that the Reddit crowd laughs too, then probably you need to google around first. Chances are you won't be able to laugh and sometimes you'd cry instead. Which in itself a useful emotional exercise for (way too much) rational people.

mherkender 13y ago
I see it a bit differently myself. All online communities seem to end up the same way, people group together based on shared interests, which tends to lead to a false-consensus bias. Ironically, I think much of reddit has fallen victim to this bias, while simultaneously believing reddit is resistant to these kinds of biases because it is free-speech friendly. But in actuality, reddit is generally filled with straight, white, English-speaking, college educated, single, 18-25, middle-class males [1] [2]. Reddit sees more of traits, perspectives, problems, etc of these groups and less of others. I see a lot of hostility towards perspectives that come from groups who fall outside the criteria above. In other words, I see plenty of racists on reddit -- just not non-white racists. In my opinion, this is not looking outside my bubble, it's looking in at a smaller part of my own bubble. [1] http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/gzb2w/i_made_a_basic_reddit_demographic_survey_lets/c1re10k http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/gzb2w/i_made_a_b... [2] http://www.ignitesocialmedia.com/social-media-stats/2012-social-network-analysis-report/#Reddit http://www.ignitesocialmedia.com/social-media-stats/2012-soc...
- kika 13y ago
  IMHO, Reddit is just too big a community, there's no shared interest. Just too many people. I'm speaking about large subreddits like the one discussed here, /politics, etc. Also, there's no problem "seeing" plenty of racists on Reddit or whereever, but I was talking real life.

harvestmoon 13y ago

Reddit is useful to me because I read subreddits that are interesting. Stuff like /r/offmychest /r/confession can provide a unique perspective on life. For discussing TV shows (which I have to admit, I enjoy), it's also quite good. And if you are an artist making music, I honestly think Reddit would be one of the best ways to succeed if you carefully researched the right subreddits. So it's not all bad. The default pages are generally quite brain-dead, particularly "adviceanimals."

pervycreeper 13y ago

This is less alarming than the potential that private-social-network based sites such as facebook, etc. have for mockery and harassment. Imagine if someone locally took a surreptitious photo and posted it to a social networking site, it ended up spreading, and this woman would be walking around in public, unaware that she was an object of mockery to the strangers around her. At least, since this was posted on the public internet, it eventually was able to gain the benefit of wide scrutiny, and the original posters were somewhat chastened.