I don't think this is a gender thing, or at least mostly isn't. Software is really a pretty emotionally rough field in the sense that it's got this hot-dog show

I don't think this is a gender thing, or at least mostly isn't. Software is really a pretty emotionally rough field in the sense that it's got this hot-dog show-off mentality, people are really blunt with their criticisms, lots of stop energy that you have to ignore, etc. Personally I've found it hard as a male just because it can be so alienating, antisocial, and generally irritating. One of the toughest things is to put a ton of work into a new product, open source code, etc. and have people just attack you for it... often cluelessly too or just for the sake of bashing something.