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I keep hearing this "not talk about it" everywhere. But don't you feel, I don't know, dishonest, limited, when you can't share your happiness, thoughts, etc. w

by kolinko 13y ago

I keep hearing this "not talk about it" everywhere. But don't you feel, I don't know, dishonest, limited, when you can't share your happiness, thoughts, etc. with your friends?

adventured 13y ago
Even the best of people can become bitterly jealous about such things. Life is really hard, bills really suck, most jobs are short term, and for most people that never changes. If the money doesn't change you, some friends will perceive you're different anyway, even if it's only their projection. You are definitely limited (in regards to talking about it), but it has to be that way. You'll find that in your group of good friends, there are a few that won't be affected by you having money, but for the vast majority it's a problem.
chime 13y ago
It's all about the context. Your parents or best-friend who will love you no matter what and does not care about your money but personality? Sure, tell them. But your cousin who shows off their Rolex every chance they get or the coworker who is over-competitive? No need to share anything beyond "I'm working on some tech stuff". There are many reasons to keep mum about: 1) You will suddenly have a lot more family/friends who want a piece of it - This is the reason everyone gives and it is true depending on your social circle. This includes everyone who wants you to invest in their business, give them a loan, pay for their meals etc. However it is not the only reason. 2) People will assume you no longer have any problems in life. Your depression? Family problems? Social anxiety? Alcoholism? Fewer people will empathize with you and most will attribute your problems to "the money went into your head!" syndrome. 3) You will have a harder time getting people to spend their own money with you - This is definitely something my wife and I have experienced multiple times with different groups of friends. Five years ago, we could easily encourage our friends to spend $50 to go to a theme park with us or take a small vacation. Now, we look inconsiderate when we ask anyone to do that because it is so cheap for us but a significant amount of cash for them. Recently, I went on a bachelor's party trip with a few friends. I paid $10 to park my car for the day in front of our destination and the people in the other car parked 2 miles away because it was $3 to park there. They thought I was a complete jerk when I called them to say "Oh just park here, it's only $7 more." For me, it was a rounding amount in my hourly invoices. For them, it was an entire hours worth of work hauling pallets in Walmart's freezer section at 3am. This was just a minor incident but there will be many more if everyone knows you have $X m in the bank.

by kolinko 13y ago

I keep hearing this "not talk about it" everywhere. But don't you feel, I don't know, dishonest, limited, when you can't share your happiness, thoughts, etc. with your friends?

adventured 13y ago

Even the best of people can become bitterly jealous about such things. Life is really hard, bills really suck, most jobs are short term, and for most people that never changes. If the money doesn't change you, some friends will perceive you're different anyway, even if it's only their projection. You are definitely limited (in regards to talking about it), but it has to be that way. You'll find that in your group of good friends, there are a few that won't be affected by you having money, but for the vast majority it's a problem.

chime 13y ago

It's all about the context. Your parents or best-friend who will love you no matter what and does not care about your money but personality? Sure, tell them. But your cousin who shows off their Rolex every chance they get or the coworker who is over-competitive? No need to share anything beyond "I'm working on some tech stuff". There are many reasons to keep mum about: 1) You will suddenly have a lot more family/friends who want a piece of it - This is the reason everyone gives and it is true depending on your social circle. This includes everyone who wants you to invest in their business, give them a loan, pay for their meals etc. However it is not the only reason. 2) People will assume you no longer have any problems in life. Your depression? Family problems? Social anxiety? Alcoholism? Fewer people will empathize with you and most will attribute your problems to "the money went into your head!" syndrome. 3) You will have a harder time getting people to spend their own money with you - This is definitely something my wife and I have experienced multiple times with different groups of friends. Five years ago, we could easily encourage our friends to spend $50 to go to a theme park with us or take a small vacation. Now, we look inconsiderate when we ask anyone to do that because it is so cheap for us but a significant amount of cash for them. Recently, I went on a bachelor's party trip with a few friends. I paid $10 to park my car for the day in front of our destination and the people in the other car parked 2 miles away because it was $3 to park there. They thought I was a complete jerk when I called them to say "Oh just park here, it's only $7 more." For me, it was a rounding amount in my hourly invoices. For them, it was an entire hours worth of work hauling pallets in Walmart's freezer section at 3am. This was just a minor incident but there will be many more if everyone knows you have $X m in the bank.