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Show HN: Probabilistically Generating HN Post Titles

683 points by gamegoblin 13y ago

gamegoblin 13y ago
I was inspired by this comment https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6813162 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6813162 I find that lookback of 2 generally creates more entertaining titles. Lookback of 3 usually seems to just splice together two titles (which can be hilarious, and is usually more grammatically correct), and lookback of 1 tends to generate more nonsense. Some fun ones I found just now: The Neuroscientist Who Discovered He Was a Teenage Hacker How my comment on TechCrunch got me a new, useful superpower? PHP Sucks But I Didn't Windows 8 is 20% faster than C The Navy’s newest warship is powered by WebGL Cards Against Humanity has made comments even worse, I'm leaving How Porsche hacked the financial system and made a html5 game, polished it many many times Interestingly, if I change the code to pick the most likely word, followed by the most likely word, etc. the "most probable" post is "The New York Times and The Internet" If I limit it to just 2013 posts, it is "The NSA surveillance". My site is running on the smallest Digital Ocean droplet (512MB), if it goes down, I will feel silly. If it does, code can be found here: https://gist.github.com/grantslatton/7694811 https://gist.github.com/grantslatton/7694811
- ggambetta 13y ago
  Markov chains are always hilarious. Try feeding it the whole text of a news article, or even a book; this way you can use higher lengths and get even more impressive results.
  - drewhk 13y ago
    I am not sure. I have seen funny MC generated text before, but I think headlines are short and their structure plays well with the Markov Model.
- dgesang 13y ago
  > The Navy’s newest warship is powered by WebGL omg ymmd
- emhart 13y ago
  "PHP Sucks But I Didn't" is pretty hilarious, also knowing what the "most probable" is by year could be a great annual tradition. Did you check 2012 and 2011?
  - Houshalter 13y ago
    Or the most probable per month would be interesting too.
- zaguios 13y ago
  Here's one I found that was quite amusing: "Aisle50 (YC S11) streamlines the search for aliens"
  - icambron 13y ago
    The best one I got was "Aisle50 (YC S11) is a valid ipv4 address"
    - edkennedy 13y ago
      My best one is "Voyager 1 spots new region at the edge of the iTunes EULA"
      - andrelaszlo 13y ago
        Absolutely brilliant. I'm dying. Supreme Court to avoid public shaming WordPress has left the solar system Cyanogen raises $7 million to build a perfect SNES emulator Washington Post to grow vegetables on weekdays
- egor83 13y ago
  > 5. WordPress has left the solar system Amazing. Thank you!
- frik 13y ago
  Obama wins back the right to keep emails private John Resig's 'Secrets of the JavaScript Ninja Update' From YC Rejection to 10,000 Users in 1 Day PyPy is faster than pushing a pixel to the screen screenshot: http://s28.postimg.org/k9pdb67n1/funny.png http://s28.postimg.org/k9pdb67n1/funny.png
- kr4 13y ago
  Couldn't resist from posting these: -How Facebook is killing Linux on the desktop -MongoDB Raises $150 Million - And Still Isn't Difficult Enough To Watch HBO Shows -Facebook claims it can read your e-mail without a data plan -I am depressed and I need someone to talk to restaurants. -Ask PG: Will you share your data in plain English -France convicts Google Maps for iOS -Mars water surprise in Curiosity rover – I am depressed and I am building Tindie fulltime -SPDY Review by Opera Software has filed a lawsuit
  - kr4 13y ago
    A few more (thanks for an hour long non-stop laugh!) -Microsoft made their own online textbook, save district $175,000 -Data.gov & 7 Other Sites to Shut Down Uber -Ramit Sethi and Patrick McKenzie on Getting Your First iOS App Store Nightmare -Valve: Piracy Is More Important Now Than Ever Before -iCloud’s Real Purpose is to Kill W3Schools -Pirate Bay Will Stop In Silicon Valley And Unemployed America -The Revolutionary Birth Control In The World: Maximizing Shareholder Value -Samsung flew bloggers to Berlin, then threatened to leave a tech job at Facebook -Google’s Marissa Mayer Has a Secret Backdoor in New Encryption Standard? (2007)
    - skykooler 13y ago
      Some that made me laugh a lot: -In emergency cases a passenger was selected and thrown out of the Internet -In CSS, “px” is not broken: It’s a Pyramid Scheme -SpaceX's First Official Cargo Resupply Mission to Mars -Resistor hack turns a Nvidia GTX690 into a Bank -Google+ is now free on Amazon -Saturn's North Pole Is A Difficult Community to Participate In -JSON will be on 'every HP PC' shipping next year, says CEO -Mozilla and Epic Announce Unreal Engine for Vim -Every Black Hole Contains a New (and Better) Google -Why "Coupon Code" Should Not be a core type in PostgreSQL 9.2 -Skype 5 for Mac 1.1 -The author of Nginx on why V8 is not an iPad
  - atmosx 13y ago
    Hahaha these are AWESOME especially the facebook one and the MongoDB hahahahaha
  - 13y ago
- DanI-S 13y ago
  > Deleted my portfolio, made $30k in my first six months of programming: from man-rodent to partyman
- sowhatquestion 13y ago
  "Ma'am, Your Burger Has Been Acquired by LinkedIn" ^ almost died laughing at that one just now
  - timtadh 13y ago
    also: "Learn You a Haskell is now larger than LinkedIn"
- theycallmemorty 13y ago
  Those are incredible.
- theycallmemorty 13y ago
  "MIT discovers a new syntactic feature to PHP"
- rbosinger 13y ago
  I want to work for Porsche! It sounds like they're getting shit done.
- deleted 13y ago
  [deleted]
- dirtyaura 13y ago
  Oh boy, I haven't lauhde this hard for a while. You have created a masterpiece of algorithmic humor. A few gems from my trials: HIV-Infected Infant Cured With Early Use of 'App Store' First employee of startup? You are not colder than absolute zero No, really, pi is wrong: The NSA slide you haven’t seen $100k Revenues in One Click.
  - dcohenp 13y ago
    Honestly, when I read the NSA one I started laughing, but then it kind of sent a shiver down my spine. Brrr.
    - Draco6slayer 13y ago
      The NSA had been spying on mathematicians, and discovered their greatest secret. Pi and e are actually switched. No, really, pi is wrong.
  - dnqthao 13y ago
    This one is so real! Q: “How much does an app cost?” A: “About as much as I make? Too scared to write a simple operating system Cook something or get out of bed for less than $10,000 per day.” In Math You Have to Find Them Fastest-growing YC S11 startup looking for hackers. Join us in our quest to kick healthcare's ass.
  - jessedhillon 13y ago
    I got one which aptly describes a sentiment I feel often in general around here: The piece of shit startup I hate to love
    - Kliment 13y ago
      That one is actually authentic https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6656728 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6656728
  - pawn 13y ago
    I thought this one was great: What it's like to be forked
- spyder 13y ago
  - MongoDB Gotchas and How We Nearly Lost the Discovery Shuttle - Show HN: My husband is Broken - Twitter acquires, you laugh, you're still loving - My dad unexpectedly uses my Linux laptop to get your attention. Join us! - Ask HN: my 5-year-old son to Acquire Lucasfilm Ltd. - Linux is now hosted in North Korea
  - cfontes 13y ago
    "MongoDB Gotchas and How We Nearly Lost the Discovery Shuttle" This one is a gem. I can almost see the fishy article about it
- mattdeboard 13y ago
  > Most data isn’t “big,” and businesses are wasting money pretending it is a prison and damaging our kids Won't someone think of the children? > JPL director: Curiosity may have been causing USB disconnects
- DouweM 13y ago
  "NSA Boss Asks Congress For Blanket Immunity For Companies That Help NSA Whistleblower Edward Snowden"
- wolfgke 13y ago
  My top 10 so far (in no particular order): Tesla wins in North Korea [since Kim Jong-un bought one] CISPA Passes in the browser Zynga Shuts Down Major Websites and Https Protocol [very plausible] The Rules of a startup [couldn't believe first this wasn't a HN title] Simple Minecraft Clone in 580 lines of Ruby [ditto] What's the best startups in the noise of 802.11 [even more true than HN] Parsley.js: never write a Web Application that makes you understand git [ditto] Why I am building a hulking floating data center [I wish someone would do it] Only a few countries are teaching children how to drive customers away [are these countries called "communistic"? ;-) ] Concurrency is not an iPad [having read so many strange comparisons concerning concurrency I'm not surprised...]
- FiloSottile 13y ago
  I've made a Twitter bot out of it, it will post on average every 5 hours. https://twitter.com/HNTitles https://twitter.com/HNTitles Code at https://github.com/FiloSottile/HNTitles https://github.com/FiloSottile/HNTitles
  - cfontes 13y ago
    Nice of you to release the code. Cheers !
- wilg 13y ago
  I threw together a little app that lets you vote for the funniest ones of these: http://headline-generator.herokuapp.com/ http://headline-generator.herokuapp.com/ (I also really want to update it to also do Upworthy-style headlines. And maybe combine the two?)
  - wilg 13y ago
    Update: Now it does Upworthy also. And mashups. Amazing mashups.
- mFixman 13y ago
  > Show HN: I am very real
- vincvinc 13y ago
  Startup hopes to hack the beliefs that are holding you back Thank you for epitomizing HN.
- imrehg 13y ago
  Pretty aggressive/pessimistic! RSS Is Dying, and You Should Too Edit: Some more funnies... Nimbus.io: Open-source alternative to the US Groupon is the new FTP And last but not least: Official Hacker News is bad for you
  - Draco6slayer 13y ago
    Science fiction novel about an open-source country.
- ElectroPrime 13y ago
  Why I Quit My Job to Start the Rest of My Life as an Apple Store Employee Facebook bans Adsense in all human history Show HN: We made an addictive way to fold a sheet of paper Rules of Storytelling According to the UK Gov Death to the ISS - Launch Webcast (starts at 12:00am PDT)
- corobo 13y ago
  FBI Document: [DELETED] had plan to kill an unresponsive SSH session Pffft, this is obviously just another internet conspiracy
jiggy2011 13y ago
That is literally hilarious. "Nobody’s going to download your bullshit app" , "HN will be retired, transition to Google Wallet Anti-Competitively" , "The best interface is no retirement" , "Amazon's homepage was down for 6 hours to boot Ubuntu" , "PHP Sucks But I Like PHP" , "Programming is a Lie" ,""Gangbang Interviews" and "Bikini Shots": Silicon Valley’s Start-Up Machine" , "Ask HN: What colour is your primary operating system" , "Chrome Engineer: Firefox Is A Costly Mistake" , "CSS Zen Garden is 10 times more efficient than the New Commodore 64" , "How one man escaped from a major UI overhaul" , "Turn anything into a Wikipedia article" , "Women, Tech Conferences and the "profitless business model" fallacy" , "MySQL now includes memcached, and a manifesto" , "FuckItJS: Runs your javascript code with MS Paint" , "Iceland Kicked Out of Y Combinator without an Idea" , "The shittiest project I ever read", "From idea to exit – the vi editor"
- jakub_g 13y ago
  Soylent: What Happened to the Nexus 7
- renekooi 13y ago
  - A file that's both an acceptable HTML page and a Raspberry Pi; - My idea to exit – the vi editor; - Ask HN: How much recurring income do you make in the US on copyright charges; - Your Username Will Now Have Amazon Ads Pre-Installed; - This Google ad has moved people to beat comment spam; - The DDoS that almost broke the rules; - Should Quadrotors All Look Like the One in the middle of NYC?
- drewhk 13y ago
  I hate myself for posting these, but I cannot resist (I am silently shaking from laughter fighting hard not to wake up my newborn): Show HN: Let's Be Civil (I think his was a real post but with Tell HN -- the small change is hilarious) Jordanian citizen was denied re-entry to the Post PC Era Firefox now only has one big flaw I feel I am a programmer Web Intents - the future of spam in Windows A new Python web framework for Haskell
  - Fargren 13y ago
flippyhead 13y ago
Love it!
tobltobs 13y ago
pimp up your droplet, this is great.
- gamegoblin 13y ago
  Poor college student, etc... I am currently using all of my VPS funds hosting a 20$/mo (the big bucks, right?) droplet which is running a server for an AI programming game I made (currently closed testing among my friends).
coldcode 13y ago
Now if we could generate the actual posts and create bot readers we could all retire.
rjtavares 13y ago
Best one I got: "How to build (and how not to do it again)"
- WA 13y ago
  Show HN: Most Wikipedia articles lead to unlimited lifetime data storage using Norwegian laws A standing desk for two years working on Why I quit my job to personally email the first ISP to challenge the USA
vezzy-fnord 13y ago
Winamp's woes: how the NSA This was HN just a few days ago.
deleted 13y ago
[deleted]
archildress 13y ago
I'll join, this is fun: - Thank HN: 127 days since I quit Facebook - Dropbox: The Hottest Startup You've Never Heard of - Facebook detects if you are not a pilot - Reddit traffic doubles in less than 600 bytes - How to break in Gmail & Major Torrent client for work on Jeopardy
jere 13y ago
You should make this into a twitter bot, à la Two Headlines https://twitter.com/TwoHeadlines https://twitter.com/TwoHeadlines.
namanyayg 13y ago
This is amazing! I got: The Dumbest Idea In The South is 129 Million Years Old Double Fine raises $1m in less than 600 bytes Show HN: Please discuss if it’s 1999 The Student And Quadrupled My Zappos/Twilio hackathon entry into the math Searching for all Who Changed My favorite bookmarked HN users Also How Khan Academy is the Future of Education What it’s like to work for Google I'm pretty sure these are actual titles (lookback = 3) Thanks for the laugh :)
- 3pt14159 13y ago
  > Double Fine raises $1m in less than 600 bytes That is amazing. It combines Kickstarter, a gaming company, a million dollars, a boundary on time, a bait and switch of units, and an air of sass about how they have yet to build ANYTHING.
- gamegoblin 13y ago
  Nope! The Khan academy one is a splice of How Khan Academy is using machine learning to assess student mastery and Yes, The Khan Academy is the Future of Education The google one is a splice of What it’s like to work for Stripe and No, I still don't want to work for Google I filter out exact matches (or submatches).
BoppreH 13y ago
Suggestion: filter the titles that are identical to real ones. Or maybe it was part of the plan, demonstrating how they are indistinguishable. My deadly disease was just a website. IBM's "Watson" finally ready for preorder. TileMill — an application for making my daughter cry. "Anonymous" Hackers Take Down Megaupload Video Google finally has a natural, almost visceral aversion to complexity Syrian Internet Is a Hero IRS claims it does not compute Stripe raises $18 million from affiliate links on "Ad-Free" blog Why I use paper to wipe my butt every day. Apple not providing LGPL webkit source code 23 years later and you're still loving
- gamegoblin 13y ago
  If you look at the code, I filter all titles that are substrings (including identical) of real ones. Sometimes the Markov chain will simply add a single word to it, though, so it gets through the filter. Any suggestions on how to improve it?
  - BoppreH 13y ago
    Funny, I'm sure I google'd a few of them and got a perfect match, but now I can't find any more. Probably my fault, sorry.
  - sillysaurus2 13y ago
    The straightforward solution is: For each fake title, compute its Hamming distance to every real title. Filter titles whose distances are very close to real titles. It's O(N^2), but if you write it in Python and run it with pypy, performance may be acceptable. Maybe. But I think this is a classic example of a Problem That Doesn't Matter. No need to spend time solving it (unless you're having fun!)
  - kps 13y ago
    Another suggestion: terminate unmatched open delimiters at the end, and strip unmatched close delimiters (parentheses, quotation marks, etc.
lukasm 13y ago
Brilliant! :) Apartments So Small They Can Say No
Coincoin 13y ago
It's clearly broken, in three tries, it didn't generate any title starting with "How" or "Why".
- tripzilch 13y ago
  Ask HN: How or why would that happen?
girvo 13y ago
Yeah, I'll pay these: 10x teams, not worth a CEO vs cancer How 'One Weird Trick' Conquered The Fifty Days, Payments Service Disruption Post The first Django site to run for Australian Senate
DanBC 13y ago
Turn it into a game. "Which of these is real? [A] vs [B]" give people ten pairs of headlines and score them. > MongoDB Gotchas and How To Avoid Getting Fired From Your Own Company
- darkmighty 13y ago
  http://snarxiv.org/vs-arxiv/ http://snarxiv.org/vs-arxiv/
- NathanWong 13y ago
  Just threw something together for this: http://botornot.nathan.ca/ http://botornot.nathan.ca/
  - livestyle 13y ago
    Comments here --> https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6816346 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6816346
FWeinb 13y ago
This is great! Best ones: Zuck, Bill Gates, Jack Dorsey In Short Film To Inspire Kids To Learn How To Write Code In 2012 The tent that turns into concrete in less than 600 bytes CoffeeScript is not a four letter word
- Pxtl 13y ago
  http://www.reddit.com/r/programming/comments/199o54/watch_zuck_bill_gates_jack_dorsey_others_in_short/ http://www.reddit.com/r/programming/comments/199o54/watch_zu... The first one is verbaitm.
  - gamegoblin 13y ago
    It added the "in 2012" bit, which caused it to slip through my duplicate detector. I am trying to think of a better duplicate detector. Right now it just checks if it is an exact match or substring.
y-satellite 13y ago
Funniest thing I've seen in a few days. Markov algorithms are underrated as sources of hilarity. After 180 Websites, I'm Ready to Start the Rest of My Life as an Undocumented Immigrant
Semaphor 13y ago
Show HN: I will stop providing any service to MPlayer Canada Is About to Come Undone? Do the Dishes, Put Out, Don’t Talk So Much Radiation? How Paypal and Reddit faked their way to browse pictures on reddit Oracle gives up trying to escape police Opera moves to restrict Internet freedom Our office is too big -- we need a Pirate :D
coherentpony 13y ago
No "Severing ties with..." titles? :)
valtron 13y ago
> Matt Damon: Edward Snowden did a great job translating LPTHW to Ruby
tbirdz 13y ago
My fellow geeks, we need to have a jobless future Did everybody see what just happened? The pendulum has swung. Do You Really Want to be a Programmer: A Short, Comprehensive, and Personal Summary Why I won't be your technical co-founder Killing the Internet to its knees Hacking the iPod: How I Earned A Lot More on Projects by Changing My Pricing Strategy YC S12 company refuses to pay for TextMate 2 A Billion Dollars Isn’t Cool. You Know What’s Cool? Paid, Paid Vacation. Functional thinking: Why functional programming is on the edge, and so is he
raganwald 13y ago
"The policeman's beard if half-constructed" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Racter https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Racter
darkxanthos 13y ago
Markov chains were my first foray into machine learning. Painfully simple and accessible. It's a great way to show the power of just a little data.
tehwalrus 13y ago
Show HN: I love weird socks and I'm excited about a year & sold a startup...with only 300 lines of Ruby this is gold :)
moot 13y ago
"AppleCrate II: A New Future" Fuck the iWatch and iTV -- I want an AppleCrate II. "The Hacker News is a Work of Art" Indeed it is.
- deleted 13y ago
  [deleted]
- saraid216 13y ago
  The Hacker News is Waiting for Godot.
runj__ 13y ago
Sleep is more useful than bash Changes to my career in magic The most difficult CEO skill: managing your own #dickbar Confused by lawsuit, Apple consumers switch to git Netflix to lose time and money
pmtarantino 13y ago
History made in under 1K of javascript
- gamegoblin 13y ago
  This is by far my favorite. Inspecting the archive, it is a combination of History made in India: Govt agrees to anti-corruption bill And one of the various javascript posts.
  - sologrrl 13y ago
    The one you quoted is a real title. http://www.informatica.md/node/77679 http://www.informatica.md/node/77679
    - gamegoblin 13y ago
      I was responding to pmtarantino that his History made in under 1K of javascript was made via a combination of the (real) post title History made in India: Govt agrees to anti-corruption bill and the (real) post title "whatever in 1kb of javascript" (there are many posts with that format of title).
- eCa 13y ago
  Got that to! MPAA Publicly Threatens to Stop Writing REST API Clients Show HN: my useless weekend project, QR-codes for everybody Mozilla’s Rejection of NativeClient Hurts the Open Web, GNU/Linux in Danger Very clever story telling using HTML and CSS editor The Unintended Effects of Reading Full Text RSS Feed: Get the whole feed and nothing but the FBI How to Quit Your Job, Move to Paradise, and Get So Much Radiation? Didn't see this coming: The Goldman Sachs invests in Duck Duck Go I feel I am depressed and I Bought Lunch in Manhattan with Bitcoins Google's dropping H.264 in Chrome - SSL exploit coming? The Art of writing unmaintainable code. IE11 to support wiretapping
deleted 13y ago
[deleted]
donjo 13y ago
This will come in handy once my team finishes our transition to HackerNews Front Page Driven Development.
increment_i 13y ago
These ones got me some odd looks from my coworkers (couldn't hold in the laughs): The Node Beginner Book, a guide to Objective C What Happens to the HN Crowd: Do nothing for 2 minutes The polynomial algorithm for a Cool Billion Dollars My husband is a new IDE for poets Classic.
3rd3 13y ago
Maybe it could display the original titles when one moves the cursor over the individual words?
jimmytucson 13y ago
It's amazing how with a little ingenuity you can program a source of hysterical laughter. I know comments like this are against HN etiquette but -- thank you gamegoblin!
jseip 13y ago
Endlessly entertaining: "ACLU launches phone app to help you avoid hills in SF"
garychou 13y ago
"4chan founder: Mark Zuckerberg is annoying the bankers"
imdsm 13y ago
> My Neighbor, Steve Jobs dissed me in a "map" interface Damn Steve Jobs.
Pxtl 13y ago
I am honestly laughing to the point of tears. - I quit my job to personally email the first open source project - The 19-year-old jailed for the HN interface - Google to Sell your Company - Einstein's list of front end development resources - 4chan founder: Mark Zuckerberg married - Mozilla and Partners Prepare to Launch a 65Gbps DDoS, and How You Fix It - ORM is an idiot" (Update 3)
- ricardobeat 13y ago
  So someone has finally been blamed for all these <table>s!
wmf 13y ago
"Show HN: I really need your money"
garychou 13y ago
"Facebook is what happens when one guy practices art every day for nine years"
jmtthis 13y ago
Cool hack to take a photo of Neil Armstrong
sean-duffy 13y ago
Canadians Just Became World's Biggest Problems Ask HN: How did you earn from your browser Experiments Show Gravity Is Not for Everybody Ask HN: How to seem good at math IBM develops 'instantaneous' memory, 100x faster than a Cup of Coffee
inanov 13y ago
That's quite fun!
frik 13y ago
Hiding Nobel prizes in plain English Have You Ever Tried to Sell My Camera on Craigslist Dear NSA, let me know if you're burnt out or just being lazy? Nexus 7, Made for Google Search History Before New Privacy Policy Takes Effect AngularJS Tutorial: Learn to read Korean in 15 minutes, fits in your browser into future How to Make Money -- Without Mining Asteroids Google paid AdBlock Plus to get $12 billion of gold to Venezuela Java Virtual Machine in pure CSS After NSA's XKeyscore, Wikipedia Switches to HTTPS Now, For Free US claims all .com and .net websites are in jail, 1 in 6 Easy Steps to a new syntactic feature to PHP What Business is Wall Street Journal Requests: HTTP for Humans, reached v1.0 Why Putting SSH On Another Port is a straight-up Ponzi scheme Show HN: Pick a number from 1 to 10 Tom Anderson: Google+ makes Google a better, more integrated set of small, responsive CSS modules Behind the scenes of the opportunists and their hackathons Apple not providing LGPL webkit source code released (Apple II assembly) Google open sources resilience engineering library Raspberry Pi now with Twitter's Bootstrap 2 ready for prime-time Jeopardy So you think you will hurt your fingers on your resume Callbacks are the doctor on the iPad - They Undesigned it 4chan's Chris Poole: Facebook & Google founders may mine asteroids Dijkstra: “You will be built again"
- drewhk 13y ago
  Some People Can Run 18 Static Sites on a soaring eagle [video] Extracting Audio from Pictures of kittens for use as placeholders in your browser A Hacker's Replacement for Gmail users Too scared to write a Linux Server Stuxnet is now hosted on GitHub
  - sevenproxies 13y ago
    >A Hacker's Replacement for Gmail users http://dbpmail.net/essays/2013-06-29-hackers-replacement-for-gmail.html http://dbpmail.net/essays/2013-06-29-hackers-replacement-for... Show HN: I spent 2 years ago. I had no idea what that means.
Avalaxy 13y ago
- Power surges in Britain caused by millions of people on Mars - How to hack the immigration system with a floating incubator - Lavabit's founder: 'If You Knew What I Know About Email, You Might Not Know about jQuery - Google Unveils The iPhone 5S
Atroxide 13y ago
HN should put a few of these headlines onto the frontpage on april fools day...
jsumrall 13y ago
Tell HN: My Startup Failed. Fuck.
downer95 13y ago
1. An unofficial alternative to Node.js 2. Ask HN: Best books you read daily? 3. EU Commissioner Will Simply Ignore Any Rejection Of ACTA By EU Parliament supports the new Junk Food 4. Why you shouldn't start a startup on Haskell [video] 5. Stallman: Facebook is using IE6 as standard for displaying web pages 6. Nexus: The best programmers are not paid in proportion to their help text 7. "They're Made out of Facbook is not a war zone 8. Behind the scenes of the opportunists and their hackathons 9. Antibiotic resistance: The last time I saw Steve Jobs 10. The UK Court Sanctions Apple, Hopes "Lack of Integrity" Is Not Free
gliptic 13y ago
Since everyone is doing it... Entire field of particle physics is to switch from X window server to Mir Google's Nexus 7 is now free forever Thoughts on being a fucking joker
Pxtl 13y ago
Eclipse launches new language to cut the crap Anatomy of a 5pm Bedtime Man Walks into a stuffed toy Extracting Audio from Pictures of kittens for use as Paypal in 5 days Why Education Companies Do Not Emulate These Oppressive Nations Dear Programmer, I have seen the future of spam in Windows Do Things that suck in AngularJS SpaceX wins $440M contract with NASA to develop exploits? Google Deletes Last 7 Years Of YouTube Scalability Lessons In 30 Minutes Objective-C in The Rain, Spray Yourself With This Why Japanese Web Design is Horseshit John Carmack: Thoughts on Go after writing 3 websites The Horrible Future of Markdown
bobfunk 13y ago
Awesome! Can't help but add a few of the most hilarious it gave me: How I Became a Billion Dollar Company Dropbox Bug Can Permanently Lose Your Family MPAA Publicly Threatens to Stop Writing REST API Clients Get-shit-done - Easy way to write a single DMCA notice Linux To Become A Better Twitter Bootstrap Government: we can solve a problem with Vim Tower.js - JavaScript library for creating Windows 8 Why I Turned Down $300,000 from Microsoft to acquire Nokia
pmelendez 13y ago
> "I took the top 10 daily posts for the last 3 years from Hacker News Daily (sorry about the few thousand wgets last night!)" I believe you could HNSearch API (https://www.hnsearch.com/api https://www.hnsearch.com/api) and that would not impact the website performance
- minimaxir 13y ago
  HNSearch does not allow chronological searching and has a limit of 1000 posts per query. Unfortunately.
  - kogir 13y ago
    I have plans for a more detailed first-party API: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6818059 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6818059
    - deleted 13y ago
      [deleted]
lazugod 13y ago
- Question for PG: Where do you work? - Things I Wish I Had Been Given - GIMP is Now a Self-Contained Native App for Mac OS X Mouse Annoyances - Why it is awesome to be inflated in seconds - Show HN: I really need your money - Why two spaces after a takedown? - I'd like to skydive through a mountain - Why I still don't contribute to an asshole
AndrewBissell 13y ago
This is pretty great, but I'm surprised there's not more RandomLibraryName.js or .io.
DanWaterworth 13y ago
Google Engineer: What I learned on a round-the-world yacht race Sleep is more important than your users? Ruby developers need to stop using Internet Explorer Tell HN: You said not to. So I quit my job and launch a startup I Up Vote Every 'Show HN' Post and You Should Be Very Worried Turn your browser into a notepad with one line of Ruby I don't know how to IE6
kronholm 13y ago
Thanks for a much needed laugh. This one was my favorite: "Microsoft releases tool for humans"
ismail 13y ago
Federal Prosecutors, in a cellular automata on an RC truck and saves the lives of 6 soldiers
ismail 13y ago
Federal Prosecutors, in a cellular automata on an RC truck and saves the lives of 6 soldiers
raverbashing 13y ago
Here's the best ones I got: "Our office is too slow for programming" "E17 is out after many years in jail, the Internet from the Other Side" "Jack Dorsey: Today Starbucks Signed up for Stallman" "Everything you need to stop fixing bugs in PHP"
- ytjohn 13y ago
  Holy crap. I just discovered that development for Enlightenment has resumed. I remember loving using E17 back in the day and then drifted away from it as it stopped being updated. I didn't realize development had stopped because E17 was in jail.
iagooar 13y ago
I'm laughing out really loud: * Understanding the code quality of the Fibonacci Sequence * Dad hacks Donkey Kong for his defense * Show HN: Built a Billion-Dollar Business and Still Gets Home By 5:30 PM * Show HN: Tired of Being Tired * Eulerian Video Magnification for Revealing Subtle Changes in Rails? * Why Google Went Offline Today and a plugin that allows fast NoSQL-style access * On Atwood's Please Don't Learn to read a sentence of Chinese kleptocracy * Flashback trojan reportedly controls half a million Americans died and nobody noticed * Why I left Google. What happened to all the female developers? * How to land an airplane if you are logged in Gmail * In emergency cases a passenger was selected and thrown out of the US * Reddit admin: "If SOPA passes it would almost certainly mean the end of 2011 * Software Architecture cheat sheet for web forms * How Porsche hacked the financial system and made a html5 game, polished it many many times
Pxtl 13y ago
Man Survives Steve Ballmer’s Flying Chair To Build a Future Without Cars Notch's 48-hour game: Prelude of the Libyan Rebels Room Temperature Superconductivity Found in X.Org Evernote Peek, The First Guitar That Anybody Can Play How Carrots Became the new Nexus 5 US claims all .com and .net websites are in jail, the Internet café in Zimbabwe Harvard cracks DNA storage, crams 700 terabytes of data into a wireless airplay speaker Judge Orders U.S. to Release iOS Maps App Tonight
OGC 13y ago
"Redditor Explains Why They're Wrong" Like that is going to happen.
kr4 13y ago
How to land an airplane if you are logged in Gmail Matt Damon: Edward Snowden did a great job translating LPTHW to Ruby Dropbox Bug Can Permanently Lose Your Family Mozilla should move Persona out of the plane (2004) Sleep is more important than your users? MongoDB Gotchas and How To Avoid Getting Fired From Your Own Company ~/.osx — a collection of well-written GPGPU programming tutorials
deleted 13y ago
[deleted]
mikkom 13y ago
> The No. 1 Habit of Highly Effective Mediocre Entrepreneurs > RIP Open Source releases on GitHub > How I've Made 200,000$ in the browser > Massive deposit of lithium found in bag attended US security conference before death (2012) > Flash is dead. Long live Postgresql” > Anonymous goes after Sony, makes it easy to do WYSIWG word processing I love this site :-D
joallard 13y ago
A Man Walks All Day to Create Spectacular Snow Patterns Understanding the code quality of the Fibonacci Sequence Gmail.com being MITM'd by Iran using this idea by now: Font Icons.
neuralk 13y ago
Brilliant, hilarious, and either scarily accurate or perfect satire: Ask HN: I might be a spook Show HN: I'm tired of seeing Mark Cuban: If you want to get rich, stop being a fucking joker Google+ is now available as an alpha release (1991) Apple announces Mac OS X mouse annoyances
davecap1 13y ago
Oh no: Robert Morris, computer security expert, dies at the age of 91
harvestmoon 13y ago
- What Powers Instagram: Hundreds of Passwords - Gmail.com was down for 6 hours to boot Ubuntu - MongoDB Gotchas and How We Nearly Lost the Discovery Shuttle - Facebook, I want to pay defendants' legal bills - How I Learned to Speak Four Languages in a matter of minutes
exizt88 13y ago
Run this for /r/all and become the star of /r/circlejerk.
jlees 13y ago
Nice work! How about caching the number of upvotes and estimating the potential popularity of the generated titles, then for the most promising, getting a ghostwriter to actually create them? Could turn out brilliantly.
j_m_f 13y ago
Lesser known C Craft: C Programs PostgreSQL doesn't care Functional thinking: Why I don't "get" art Elon Musk says ‘um’ ~7 times the tech sector
politician 13y ago
> Can Snowden be targeted using the Soundcloud API? Lovely.
mrbuttons454 13y ago
I quit my job and am excited about a Failing Startup
corford 13y ago
"No, I'm not going to have a jobless recovery. We’re going to have a jobless recovery. We’re going to have a jobless recovery. We’re going to have a jobless recovery. We’re going to have a jobless recovery. We’re going to have a talk." "AWS is down due to IP litigation"
darkstalker 13y ago
- Bunny.py: A WiFi darknet that hides its traffic in the cinema wut
ArekDymalski 13y ago
"Rubular - a visual programming language with eternal moral vigilance" Oh, I just hope people will start doing stuff that fits these titles.
jbrooksuk 13y ago
These are brilliant! Using a loopback of > 3 seems to be the best for me. > I analyzed the chords to 1300 popular songs for patterns. This is what a DDoS attack looks like
libria 13y ago
From the producer that brought us The Social Network: 1. The girl with the JavaScript Ninja Update Categorized under "Well, that was fast": 3. Rate my startup was my worst mistake
SteroidsLove 13y ago
"I’m writing my own DNS servers"
evilturnip 13y ago
My favorite: Indiegogo fund raises enough money to buy random things each month from Amazon
kissickas 13y ago
I seriously feel the need to look up some of these on Google, they're so convincing. All from the same batch, lookback=2: SOPA sponsors break their own IE6-countdown site. The Arduino Solution to Clearing Afghan Landmines What Major World Cities Look Like It Was Made By Samsung WordPress Discontinues Support for SOPA
minciue 13y ago
Wow. Thanks for this, I haven't had such a good laugh in a while. Here's what I got: Hashify.me - store entire website content in the cloud Obama administration is still so offensive This Internet provider pledges to put man on Mars EFF: Apple Should Stand Up and Down the Ladder of Abstraction Video shot from the ground up. Drunk scientists pour wine on superconductors and make tons of money?" Dwarf Fortress: Ten hours with the TSA I’m tired of the Solar System 37signals.com - Evolution of a working nuclear reactor IE11 to support wiretapping Ask HN: Google employees, why is G+ more important than food RSS Is Dying, and You Should Too
- yourad_io 13y ago
  > Ask HN: Google employees, why is G+ more important than food It must be sentient.
ivanhoe 13y ago
"Functional Programming For The First Smartphone Designed Entirely By Lawyers" - this sounds totally legit :)
ismail 13y ago
WordPress has left the solar system
MichaelMoser123 13y ago
Thank you Gamegoblin, now it is clear to me that I am spending too much time on HN. And...Must resist the \for a mee too. (futile). Nuclear Power is Safest Way to Extract the Main Topics from a Scared Actress US Patent system so dysfunctional you can tell Arial from Helvetica? N-gram Analysis of the world for 8 years straight Guys buy island on Craigslist, use Kickstarter to turn up the volume in the wrong SSL certificate Bill Gates: My Plan to Raid The Pirate Bay Sergey Brin invests in Duck Duck Go
MichaelMoser123 13y ago
Thank you, know it is clear to me that I am spending too much time on HN. And...Must resist the urge for a mee tooo. (futile). Nuclear Power is Safest Way to Extract the Main Topics from a Scared Actress US Patent system so dysfunctional you can tell Arial from Helvetica? N-gram Analysis of the world for 8 years straight Guys buy island on Craigslist, use Kickstarter to turn up the volume in the wrong SSL certificate Bill Gates: My Plan to Raid The Pirate Bay Sergey Brin invests in Duck Duck Go
henrik_w 13y ago
Absolutely hilaruous! Some good ones: Netflix Now The Largest Single Source of Internet Explorer privacy controls How one man escaped from a major statistical error. 20 lines of e-mail data Skype options turn out to be a Girl in Tech Scott Adams: How to Apply to Y Combinator Started
cossatot 13y ago
Only going to share 1, it was so good: ''' Down syndrome reversed in 2011 '''
lanekelly 13y ago
Got this one: >No, I still don't want to download your bullshit app Thinking it was too good to not already be a headline, I searched and found this: >No, I'm not going to download your bullshit app Pure gold.
joshaidan 13y ago
Looks like I found my weekend project: "Show HN: Game where you write Python robots to fight crime"
metaxy2 13y ago
I think I may have gotten the best one, on my second try: "Zynga Shuts Down LucasArts"
RBerenguel 13y ago
Lost an stupidly large amount of time laughing so hard I cried. Some of the best: Steve Jobs Presents His Ideas For A New Kind of Screwed Home-made bombs are being deleted from Wikipedia Show HN: New platform for finding work - Son of J.R.R. Tolkien finally speaks out Why I'm done with the booth babes The Geeks Who Saved Prince of Persia source code 23 years later and you're still loving US judge orders hundreds of sites "de-indexed" from Google, what do we need some badass hackers to fill it up. Why F1 Steering Wheels Have Over 20 Buttons - And Still Isn't Difficult Enough To Watch HBO Shows Ask PG: Comments are not a four letter word Opening *.txt file is dangerous on Windows 8 OEM specs may block Linux booting Ultrabook: Intel's $300 million plan to beat comment spam Ocean acidification due to HTML5 Markdown.css – make HTML look like Microsoft made their own company Introducing schema.org: Search engines come together for a return of the universe Researchers Finally Replicated Reinhart-Rogoff, and There Are Too Many Cops Are Told They’re Soldiers Fighting a War. How Did We Get Here? Parsley.js: never write a single JavaScript line to validate 50 cancer studies L'Aquila quake: Italy scientists found guilty of aiding the enemy, but convicted of multiple other counts The New iPad's Screen Under the hood of Windows to test older versions of VLC How Carrots Became the new Opus audio format Please learn to code? Don't copy and paste, type out other people's code An analysis of an unknown compression format Why must you laugh at you, then they laugh at my desk Fastest-growing YC S11 startup (3M monthly uniques) YC S11 startup (3M monthly uniques) YC S11 startup looking for people to talk to restaurants. Windows 8 is 20% faster than MemSQL Republicans Repudiate 40 Years of Firefox Oboe.js: reacting to Ajax/Rest quicker by not waiting for it to Open Source Copenhagen Suborbitals open-source private spacerocket will launch in an unrelated raid Youtube claims I don't know they're in water Why shuttle Atlantis will not do a tech job at Facebook Kit Kat's homepage is currently a parody of Silicon Valley, Bad for the state of Berlin
hluska 13y ago
I'm having one of the worst days of my adult life, but this one made me laugh very hard. #9 - Reginald Braithwaite is a Red Herring
henrik_w 13y ago
This reminded me of "SCIgen - An Automatic CS Paper Generator" http://pdos.csail.mit.edu/scigen/ http://pdos.csail.mit.edu/scigen/
fla 13y ago
Thank you for this ! And by the way : "Let’s Build a Truly Free Version of Windows to test drive autonomous cars on public roads? California says yes"
bobbles 13y ago
"Show HN: I hacked my microwave with a Raspberry Pi into a wireless airplay speaker" Classic
mck- 13y ago
This reminds me of a hackathon project of mine: https://github.com/mck-/oneliner https://github.com/mck-/oneliner It basically uses a very similar algorithm to summarize any given piece of text in one line.
namenotrequired 13y ago
Some of my favourites: How to add a “person to blame” field to every site you visit Larry Page to be forked Why PHP Was a Political Prisoner at Birth in North Carolina in 1961 Why Explore Space? A 1970 Letter to sites with Twitter Bootstrap, jQuery UI or pure jQuery Peter Thiel: We’re in a Year Developers are the most effective thing you did to improve Python for Go Watch YC Startup with Paying Customers
namenotrequired 13y ago
"Solve your first 10 customers" - what, kill them with chemical solutions?
DouweM 13y ago
I would love a Chrome extension that would randomly inject these into the actual Hacker News front page, and which would then keep a tally of how often I clicked the link and fell for it.
- DouweM 13y ago
  And here it is: https://github.com/DouweM/AlgoNews https://github.com/DouweM/AlgoNews
ddd1600 13y ago
Brilliant! "Show HN: The home automation system with a touchscreen and few buttons was obvious"
jw_ 13y ago
"I quit my job, and I'm excited about a Failing Startup"
cupcake-unicorn 13y ago
Haha, awesome, reminds me of the sarcastic 4chan post that came up earlier. Here's a great one: I love weird socks and I'm surfing a PDF
r0muald 13y ago
An unknown proportion of these titles have a corresponding news article or blog post, somewhere on the Web, just waiting to pop up on HN.
eitland 13y ago
A day in the Middle of Detroit How to land an airplane (if you don't control it) Richard Stallman on Steve Jobs: A Few New Things Coming To JavaScript Yes, You Can Use Regexes to Parse HTML I made an addictive way to browse pictures on reddit Facebook sinks to record a video cam on an HTML5 game. I finally understand why I'm not buying Facebook
hvass 13y ago
This is too good. This I easily see as a link bait at 'Business Insider': "Why Quit? Because the other company has bigger monitors."
jamornh 13y ago
Amazing, can't stop laughing! - Ubuntu ported to the Web when you hit it with the stupid stick - Why the cheapest maple syrup is the new compose in Gmail - Oxford announces new degree in Computer Security, Dies at 78 - Cancer Vaccine, tailor-made for each cashier - Hacking the iPod: How I Screwed Yasser Arafat out of bed for less than an hour
fruchtose 13y ago
LevelDB: a fast multiple-account Google Docs makes it personal... very personal Show HN: When is good time to cut the crap Can Snowden be targeted using the Soundcloud API MIT's artificial leaf is ten times more income from Android than from Windows ’95 Free online version of Apache HTTP Server released What the smartest people do on the Moon Sorry, this blog post is not non-linear Supreme Court to allow Google to sue me into acquiring. Help Lawsuit Filed To Prove Happy Birthday Is In The Middle Of A Terrible Blubble Chrome now the most effective thing you did to improve Python for Pythonists IBM to Acquire a Domain Name? My husband is a JavaScript library for capturing input Youporn.com is now MIT licensed
timewasted 13y ago
This is awesome. My GF learned to be forked Online course: Build your own #dickbar Why you should learn just a little bit Apple, a little bit Apple, a little bit Apple, a little Awk - A Native-Looking and Feeling Mobile HTML5 Front-End Framework Firefox 6 released with long-sought Higgs boson discovery
ericgsmith 13y ago
In 1951 there was a startup on Haskell
FiloSottile 13y ago
Awesome. > Jack Dorsey does 8 hours at Twitter, 8 hours at Twitter, 8 hours at Twitter, 8 hours at Twitter, 8 hours at Square daily
gautamnarula 13y ago
My favorite: Germany Minister o Justice demands immediate response to "Paul Graham's Letter to YC Companies"
mieubrisse 13y ago
"I'm a loser and I need someone to talk about why I'm not allowed to use Lisp"
drak0n1c 13y ago
Plenty of Fish Hacked - Chris Russo explains how he did it 25 years ago I hoped we would extend Emacs to do market research
beernutz 13y ago
How to land an airplane if you are logged into Gmail Tim O'Reilly: Really, Google is making a comeback due to harassment Ask HN: Does anyone actually code at a parole
Groxx 13y ago
Design Books Every Hacker Should Read (At Least Twice) I could swear I've read that post (at least twice).
- gamegoblin 13y ago
  There was a real post called "Papers Every Hacker Should Read (At Least Twice)" and another called "Design Books Every Hacker Should Read" The program spliced them together.
chrismorgan 13y ago
My GF learned to code in 3 months. This is what it's like to skydive through a thunderstorm ... the connection there is concerning. Bitcoin ruled illegal in North Carolina in 1961 Very impressive! Introducing BrowserID: A better Ruby REPL And here I was, all along thinking it was something else. Static analysis of Steve Jobs To Take On The Nexus 7 is now feature complete for C++14 I knew C++14 was a broad-scoped language, but using the power of Steve Jobs to tackle Android? Who'd 'a thunked it?
DouweM 13y ago
I just built a Chrome extension that randomly adds one of these to the Hacker News and hckr news frontpages: https://github.com/DouweM/AlgoNews https://github.com/DouweM/AlgoNews
fyskij 13y ago
After 180 Websites, I’m Ready to Start the Rest of My Life as an Undocumented Immigrant
swoker 13y ago
"Hover.com: we store & email passwords in plaintext to the cloud" "Obama wins back the right to cheat their exams" I laughed so hard!
bhaumik 13y ago
So you created the http://what-would-i-say.com/ http://what-would-i-say.com/ for all of Hacker News? Kudos.
agibsonccc 13y ago
<3 markov chains. I had to do something like this for a homework assignment a long time ago. Here's mine: PredictionIO – A Simple Explanation for Why HP Abandoned Palm Obama said the NSA Over Data Collection NSA collecting phone records for his defense How to Be Upside-Down GMail: designer arrogance and the $580 Million Black Hole Contains a New Type of Employee You Really Should Log Client-Side Errors How to solve it Google disables AdSense account of Coinpal shut down a product? Open source dynamic body physics engine rebuilt in 25KB—on a graphing calculator Google to acquire Nokia Serving at the Pleasure of the plot Watch YC Startup with Paying Customers A Brief, Incomplete, and Mostly Wrong History of the storm we're pushing the YC application deadline back to Firefox 4 that makes you a better background pattern for your games. Goodbye Basecamp, This Is All Your Email 37signals invests in synthetic beef Groupon is a GitHubber The first Django site to run for Australian Senate Single page apps in the lab: Apple is back Calling the NSA: "I accidentally deleted - last backup one year of college calculus to grad student level Edward Snowden: Saving Us from the Family of Neil Armstrong on Programmer Productivity Some advice from Jeff Bezos on Post purchase Is Google building a TC alternative. Will you post an update on "What I've learned from Hacker News, what else you read?
hilarium 13y ago
These had me on the floor: My husband is a JavaScript library for capturing input Ignored by big companies, Mexican village creates its own encryption standard “I hate almost all software” — Ryan Dahl steps down U.S. Government to Force Facebook into Handing-Over their Secret Tracking Data Show HN: Learn Math the Hard Way Valve hired their first Github repo
izietto 13y ago
I got this: "Google finally has a huge security hole". Finally!
vmp32k 13y ago
ACTA killed in hit and run accident
pkhamre 13y ago
Performance and more online pornography Notch live in Monthly Revenues 16-year-old Makes 99% of the Performance tips for startups Mojang's Monster Truck Madness 2 Node.js two minutes = 10 times
vincvinc 13y ago
Startup hopes to hack the beliefs that are holding you back Thank you for epitomizing HN.
rdl 13y ago
Next step is to get humans to write the articles based on those titles, and then auto-generate fake comments based on those articles.
vellum 13y ago
The Woman Problem Cosmo: A wolf in the command key files show how to Start Banning “Servers” Custora (YC S12) Reinvents Transistors Using JSON Ask HN: We Should Read (At Least Pretend to) Know What’s up Guy makes a knife from scratch. He has to make a chat server in 12 lines of code Show HN: Create Javascript charts with one line of code that beat A/B testing every time Show HN: Why You I’m Glad We Need Emotional Support Staff to update to C# App JQuery 1.5.1 released, includes memcached, written in 24 hours Game Industry Needs a cartoonist's advice
DigitalSea 13y ago
This is the greatest thing I have seen on Hacker News in a very long time, and I mean that. This is genius, the titles that it generates paint a pretty clear trend of topics HN likes to discuss: The New York Times, failure, Go, PHP and of course limited to 2013, the NSA. Some of my favourites I've generated today include: Living in a bubble MIT is a Bing Affiliate Scam My GF learned to be inflated in seconds Hacker Who Helped Put Jazz Back in 1997 That Made Amazon a Gorilla I Hope My Father Hated India How you eat corn on the road to Starcraft Tim O'Reilly: Really, Google is making a comeback due to harassment Skype vulnerability allowing hijacking of an interview Voyager 1 has been forked Using prime numbers to make unlocking phones legal again passes 100,000 signatures As a result of this app, I've seen my productivity drop by about 40% today, because this is seriously addictive. I've got an idea for a tech satire site and I am going to use this to generate post titles as inspiration for articles.
mcphilip 13y ago
NY Comptroller: Legalise marijuana, tax it now with three.js
loceng 13y ago
Add voting for top titles to get the gems in a list...
loceng 13y ago
"Why the cheapest maple syrup is the best predictor of code quality"
herbig 13y ago
Our unrealistic views of death, through a thunderstorm
yetanotherphd 13y ago
Nothing makes a place feel like a hive of groupthink like n-grams.
omeid2 13y ago
Well, here are my top 10: MIT scientist captures 90,000 hours of video of Mayor Rob Ford smoking crack. What Every C Programmer Should Know About Fitness is a straight-up Ponzi scheme Name.com hijacks non-existent subdomains and redirects to their help Text WebKit is the sum of three primes John's Phone: a minimalist cell phone unlocking and fixes the DMCA On Confirmed Assumptions or, Not Trusting Google is evil now? Let's Get Real. How About Apple? Ask PG: could you travel across the U.S. government poisoned alcohol during Prohibition Beej's Guide to Social Hacking: How we screwed (almost) the whole Apple community JS roguelike game: The Royal Canadian Mint just announced a new alternative to Github Ed McMillen: Ubuntu Store Sold Super Meat Boy leaves database wide This thing is hilarious.
jasonlmk 13y ago
These ones got me: Google has an entire country What is Possible When There's no need to build a windmill Ask HN: How would I get my entertainment via BitTorrent Absolutely hilarious!
21cssindia 13y ago
Oracle Enterprise Manager Grid Control 12C Click Here For Enquiry Introduction Course overview Key Challenges for Administrators What Is Enterprise Manager Cloud Control? Built-in and Integrated Manageability Configuration Management Reviewing Enterprise Manager Core Concepts Review Oracle Enterprise Manager architecture Agent Installation and Target Discovery Describing Different Target Types Monitoring Cloud Control Security (very high level) Managing Securely with Credentials http://www.21cssindia.com/courses.html http://www.21cssindia.com/courses.html 21st Century providing Online training and support on All Technologies. If you are seeking training and support you can reach me on 91-9000444287. Online training by real time Experts. Call us 001-309-200-3848 for online training
- deleted 13y ago
  [deleted]
dizzystar 13y ago
Wow, these aren't real? -- Why I won't be your technical co-founder -- How to design a CAPTCHA -- Why I do not want to work for Google -- The end of the web as we know it -- Show HN: I'm working on an HTML5 game. I finally released it -- Why I am building a new Google Wave -- Learn Regex The Hard Way by Zed Shaw -- Agile is a Lie -- How to Learn Go -- The Only Way to Improve Your UI
- meowface 13y ago
  I think some of them do end up being the original titles with some considerable probability, due to the way these kinds of Markov chains work.
  - gamegoblin 13y ago
    No, because I filter those out. Sometimes they are an original title + 1 or 2 words, though, which are trickier to catch.
amjd 13y ago
Ask PG: What Is Intelligence, Anyway? DIY Weapons of the USA Patriot Act Researchers 'speak' to dolphins in their own IE6-countdown site. Why doesn't every company buy developers the best startups in the Milky Way Galaxy My Daughter’s Homework Is Killing You
lifeformed 13y ago
"White hat" Facebook hacker gets 8 months at Microsoft The Art of writing unmaintainable code.
localuser 13y ago
Hilarious! If you guys would love to get a tweet a day from this follow HorseHN. I will tweet a couple a day. https://twitter.com/HorseHN https://twitter.com/HorseHN
gvm 13y ago
That's really funny. My favourite: "I haven’t been drunk in 3 minutes"
adityar 13y ago
How to land an airplane if you are logged in Gmail
interstitial 13y ago
I'm not laughing, I want to read these articles! Get to work and make your magic robot compose the stories.
lsh 13y ago
LuaJit 2.0 is out after many years in prison The Day I Saw Van Gogh’s Genius in a single line of JavaScript Are mass shootings really random events? A look at the performance of Google Chrome Chinese Hackers Infiltrate New York (Not Just At Toll Booths)
deleted 13y ago
[deleted]
rext 13y ago
-I'm an American and I want to watch the Olympics, live, from the United States Government by stealing .gov -Chinese students and families fight for the right to sell your iOS app -Chinese Hackers Infiltrate New York Times, manage to spend $40 million on its pay wall? -Hit men, click whores, and paid apologists: Welcome to the United States -Our security auditor is an idiot. How do I write a Web application in Python? -Poll: Do you know where they are? I do. Impressive. The last is a little ominous though.
kristiandupont 13y ago
I cannot resist but to join in. Thanks OP for a great laugh this morning! WeekendHacker.net - A Private Small Claims Internet Court Bruce Schneier has changed since being hidden? Sublime Text 2 Beta released with support for SOPA Skrollr - parallax scrolling for the right answer to "Who Is Hiring Remote Workers? (January 2011 Edition) An iPhone lover’s confession: I switched to the Brain Experience the Apollo 11 Rockets
eksith 13y ago
Sweet Jesus! Ask HN: How much recurring income do you make in the witchhunt? 75-year-old soybean farmer sees Monsanto lawsuit reach U.S. Supreme Court to avoid judicial review of the HP-35 Why I've built an alternative to CSS resets I could have sworn, I actually saw that headline for real. The PNG image file format is now feature complete for C++14 You're a developer, so why do you escape CRUD jobs? Because they're not sexy and doesn't involve Big Data somehow... or at least to the gratuitous degree I want Big Data in my life for no discernible reason. Patio11 Wrote A Book On Conversion Optimization For Software Crack, Creator Provides Free App Instead Hahaha! Mistakes You Can’t Copyright Porn, Harassed BitTorrent Defendant Insists Why Google Earth - after 25 years Company backed by James Cameron & Google Are Doing It All Secret Fears of the NSA’s surveillance state? Looks like NSA titles are still making it into the headlines.
mrcactu5 13y ago
this is cool have you seen snarxiv? http://snarxiv.org/ http://snarxiv.org/ in the comments the author discusses how he generated convincing titles using context free grammars: snarXiv is based on a context free grammar (CFG) — basically a set of rules for computer-generated mad libs... The snarxiv’s grammar is 622 lines long... The coolest and most natural thing to do with a CFG is exploit recursiveness as much as possible. The more recursion built in, the less predictable and richer the output. I am guessing they learned the Context-Free Grammar by reading many abstracts and titles.
jakab922 13y ago
Best post ever. :)
eaxbin 13y ago
Intel Core 2 Duo Remote Exec Exploit in JavaScript in less than 600 bytes Scary stuff!
ciex 13y ago
This thread is like a fully automated reddit.com/r/circlejerk without all the exaggeration.
dyadic 13y ago
Oh, this is beautiful. Nice work Things to Never Say “Click Here” DIY Weapons of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. AMA Did everybody see what just happened? The pendulum has swung. Rootkit on a cube-shaped planet So Long and Thanks for your password
nightpool 13y ago
You definitely need a way to vote up certain titles. Something like what http://www.mezzacotta.net/ http://www.mezzacotta.net/ has would make a great addition to the site.
scep12 13y ago
My favorite so far: Hey Google, thanks for making money on the web?
rjknight 13y ago
Women, Tech Conferences and the Meaning of Life (2011) That great forgotten Monty Python movie...
biftek 13y ago
What are the odds the 10th result for me was "Learn Python the hard way by Zed Shaw"?
pitchups 13y ago
The ones below seem very real and plausible: Art of Funding a Startup - Bill Watterson, a cartoonist's advice A better approach to analytics. Just capture everything Interactive map of Linux kernel infringes on patents. Lawsuit avalanche to follow. Apparently Yelp has a natural, almost visceral aversion to complexi Show HN: fontBomb - Stylishly destroy the web as we know it Google+'s Real Goal is Mars In China, the rich and powerful can hire body doubles to do damage control Show HN: Hackershelf. Community curated collection of failed predictions The Unintended Effects of Reading
cmarschner 13y ago
Related (and in part even funnier): SciGen, the scientific paper generator. Have fun :) http://pdos.csail.mit.edu/scigen/ http://pdos.csail.mit.edu/scigen/
mcintyre1994 13y ago
"Bitcoin hits $1 billion in shock IPO" :)
CrazedGeek 13y ago
"PS4 UX is powered by the Soviet Union's space program?"
almondsays 13y ago
This is fun. - Instagram says it now has the right to indefinitely detain under NDAA - Redditors earning $100k+ a year, secret files show - Physicist proposes new way to view IAmA's on Reddit - Linux may have been due to bad connection - Kim Dotcom: The US recording industry is stealing my ebook
- amjd 13y ago
  Some more: - 3px of padding makes all the female developers? - Postgres on the moon - Game Over: Zynga Shuts Down 84,000 Websites, ‘By Mistake’ - IBM to Acquire Tumblr - Firefox Beta 15 supports the possible suspension of U.S. - Kim Dotcom: The US recording industry is stealing my ebook
samweinberg 13y ago
Unintentionally also an HN parody generator.
syswsi 13y ago
For those who enjoyed this would probably enjoy this title generator which also aggregates article titles of website such as buzzfeed and TMZ http://headline-generator.herokuapp.com/best http://headline-generator.herokuapp.com/best
NoodleIncident 13y ago
Feds Mistakenly Shut Down on Wednesday to Protest SOPA The Onion either already uses something like this, or is obligated to start. This is comedic gold!
trusche 13y ago
Beautiful. My favourite so far: "Show HN: I hacked my microwave with a Raspberry Pi into a wireless airplay speaker"
jonrimmer 13y ago
'Creator of "Dirty Jobs" Mike Rowe testifies to Congress about the WebKit inspector'

683 points by gamegoblin 13y ago

I was inspired by this comment https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6813162 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6813162 I find that lookback of 2 generally creates more entertaining titles. Lookback of 3 usually seems to just splice together two titles (which can be hilarious, and is usually more grammatically correct), and lookback of 1 tends to generate more nonsense. Some fun ones I found just now: The Neuroscientist Who Discovered He Was a Teenage Hacker How my comment on TechCrunch got me a new, useful superpower? PHP Sucks But I Didn't Windows 8 is 20% faster than C The Navy’s newest warship is powered by WebGL Cards Against Humanity has made comments even worse, I'm leaving How Porsche hacked the financial system and made a html5 game, polished it many many times Interestingly, if I change the code to pick the most likely word, followed by the most likely word, etc. the "most probable" post is "The New York Times and The Internet" If I limit it to just 2013 posts, it is "The NSA surveillance". My site is running on the smallest Digital Ocean droplet (512MB), if it goes down, I will feel silly. If it does, code can be found here: https://gist.github.com/grantslatton/7694811 https://gist.github.com/grantslatton/7694811

ggambetta 13y ago
Markov chains are always hilarious. Try feeding it the whole text of a news article, or even a book; this way you can use higher lengths and get even more impressive results.
- drewhk 13y ago
  I am not sure. I have seen funny MC generated text before, but I think headlines are short and their structure plays well with the Markov Model.
dgesang 13y ago
> The Navy’s newest warship is powered by WebGL omg ymmd
emhart 13y ago
"PHP Sucks But I Didn't" is pretty hilarious, also knowing what the "most probable" is by year could be a great annual tradition. Did you check 2012 and 2011?
- Houshalter 13y ago
  Or the most probable per month would be interesting too.
zaguios 13y ago
Here's one I found that was quite amusing: "Aisle50 (YC S11) streamlines the search for aliens"
- icambron 13y ago
  The best one I got was "Aisle50 (YC S11) is a valid ipv4 address"
  - edkennedy 13y ago
    My best one is "Voyager 1 spots new region at the edge of the iTunes EULA"
    - andrelaszlo 13y ago
      Absolutely brilliant. I'm dying. Supreme Court to avoid public shaming WordPress has left the solar system Cyanogen raises $7 million to build a perfect SNES emulator Washington Post to grow vegetables on weekdays
egor83 13y ago
> 5. WordPress has left the solar system Amazing. Thank you!
frik 13y ago
Obama wins back the right to keep emails private John Resig's 'Secrets of the JavaScript Ninja Update' From YC Rejection to 10,000 Users in 1 Day PyPy is faster than pushing a pixel to the screen screenshot: http://s28.postimg.org/k9pdb67n1/funny.png http://s28.postimg.org/k9pdb67n1/funny.png
kr4 13y ago
Couldn't resist from posting these: -How Facebook is killing Linux on the desktop -MongoDB Raises $150 Million - And Still Isn't Difficult Enough To Watch HBO Shows -Facebook claims it can read your e-mail without a data plan -I am depressed and I need someone to talk to restaurants. -Ask PG: Will you share your data in plain English -France convicts Google Maps for iOS -Mars water surprise in Curiosity rover – I am depressed and I am building Tindie fulltime -SPDY Review by Opera Software has filed a lawsuit
- kr4 13y ago
  A few more (thanks for an hour long non-stop laugh!) -Microsoft made their own online textbook, save district $175,000 -Data.gov & 7 Other Sites to Shut Down Uber -Ramit Sethi and Patrick McKenzie on Getting Your First iOS App Store Nightmare -Valve: Piracy Is More Important Now Than Ever Before -iCloud’s Real Purpose is to Kill W3Schools -Pirate Bay Will Stop In Silicon Valley And Unemployed America -The Revolutionary Birth Control In The World: Maximizing Shareholder Value -Samsung flew bloggers to Berlin, then threatened to leave a tech job at Facebook -Google’s Marissa Mayer Has a Secret Backdoor in New Encryption Standard? (2007)
  - skykooler 13y ago
    Some that made me laugh a lot: -In emergency cases a passenger was selected and thrown out of the Internet -In CSS, “px” is not broken: It’s a Pyramid Scheme -SpaceX's First Official Cargo Resupply Mission to Mars -Resistor hack turns a Nvidia GTX690 into a Bank -Google+ is now free on Amazon -Saturn's North Pole Is A Difficult Community to Participate In -JSON will be on 'every HP PC' shipping next year, says CEO -Mozilla and Epic Announce Unreal Engine for Vim -Every Black Hole Contains a New (and Better) Google -Why "Coupon Code" Should Not be a core type in PostgreSQL 9.2 -Skype 5 for Mac 1.1 -The author of Nginx on why V8 is not an iPad
- atmosx 13y ago
  Hahaha these are AWESOME especially the facebook one and the MongoDB hahahahaha
- 13y ago
DanI-S 13y ago
> Deleted my portfolio, made $30k in my first six months of programming: from man-rodent to partyman
sowhatquestion 13y ago
"Ma'am, Your Burger Has Been Acquired by LinkedIn" ^ almost died laughing at that one just now
- timtadh 13y ago
  also: "Learn You a Haskell is now larger than LinkedIn"
theycallmemorty 13y ago
Those are incredible.
theycallmemorty 13y ago
"MIT discovers a new syntactic feature to PHP"
rbosinger 13y ago
I want to work for Porsche! It sounds like they're getting shit done.
deleted 13y ago
[deleted]
dirtyaura 13y ago
Oh boy, I haven't lauhde this hard for a while. You have created a masterpiece of algorithmic humor. A few gems from my trials: HIV-Infected Infant Cured With Early Use of 'App Store' First employee of startup? You are not colder than absolute zero No, really, pi is wrong: The NSA slide you haven’t seen $100k Revenues in One Click.
- dcohenp 13y ago
  Honestly, when I read the NSA one I started laughing, but then it kind of sent a shiver down my spine. Brrr.
  - Draco6slayer 13y ago
    The NSA had been spying on mathematicians, and discovered their greatest secret. Pi and e are actually switched. No, really, pi is wrong.
- dnqthao 13y ago
  This one is so real! Q: “How much does an app cost?” A: “About as much as I make? Too scared to write a simple operating system Cook something or get out of bed for less than $10,000 per day.” In Math You Have to Find Them Fastest-growing YC S11 startup looking for hackers. Join us in our quest to kick healthcare's ass.
- jessedhillon 13y ago
  I got one which aptly describes a sentiment I feel often in general around here: The piece of shit startup I hate to love
  - Kliment 13y ago
    That one is actually authentic https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6656728 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6656728
- pawn 13y ago
  I thought this one was great: What it's like to be forked
spyder 13y ago
- MongoDB Gotchas and How We Nearly Lost the Discovery Shuttle - Show HN: My husband is Broken - Twitter acquires, you laugh, you're still loving - My dad unexpectedly uses my Linux laptop to get your attention. Join us! - Ask HN: my 5-year-old son to Acquire Lucasfilm Ltd. - Linux is now hosted in North Korea
- cfontes 13y ago
  "MongoDB Gotchas and How We Nearly Lost the Discovery Shuttle" This one is a gem. I can almost see the fishy article about it
mattdeboard 13y ago
> Most data isn’t “big,” and businesses are wasting money pretending it is a prison and damaging our kids Won't someone think of the children? > JPL director: Curiosity may have been causing USB disconnects
DouweM 13y ago
"NSA Boss Asks Congress For Blanket Immunity For Companies That Help NSA Whistleblower Edward Snowden"
wolfgke 13y ago
My top 10 so far (in no particular order): Tesla wins in North Korea [since Kim Jong-un bought one] CISPA Passes in the browser Zynga Shuts Down Major Websites and Https Protocol [very plausible] The Rules of a startup [couldn't believe first this wasn't a HN title] Simple Minecraft Clone in 580 lines of Ruby [ditto] What's the best startups in the noise of 802.11 [even more true than HN] Parsley.js: never write a Web Application that makes you understand git [ditto] Why I am building a hulking floating data center [I wish someone would do it] Only a few countries are teaching children how to drive customers away [are these countries called "communistic"? ;-) ] Concurrency is not an iPad [having read so many strange comparisons concerning concurrency I'm not surprised...]
FiloSottile 13y ago
I've made a Twitter bot out of it, it will post on average every 5 hours. https://twitter.com/HNTitles https://twitter.com/HNTitles Code at https://github.com/FiloSottile/HNTitles https://github.com/FiloSottile/HNTitles
- cfontes 13y ago
  Nice of you to release the code. Cheers !
wilg 13y ago
I threw together a little app that lets you vote for the funniest ones of these: http://headline-generator.herokuapp.com/ http://headline-generator.herokuapp.com/ (I also really want to update it to also do Upworthy-style headlines. And maybe combine the two?)
- wilg 13y ago
  Update: Now it does Upworthy also. And mashups. Amazing mashups.
mFixman 13y ago
> Show HN: I am very real
vincvinc 13y ago
Startup hopes to hack the beliefs that are holding you back Thank you for epitomizing HN.
imrehg 13y ago
Pretty aggressive/pessimistic! RSS Is Dying, and You Should Too Edit: Some more funnies... Nimbus.io: Open-source alternative to the US Groupon is the new FTP And last but not least: Official Hacker News is bad for you
- Draco6slayer 13y ago
  Science fiction novel about an open-source country.
ElectroPrime 13y ago
Why I Quit My Job to Start the Rest of My Life as an Apple Store Employee Facebook bans Adsense in all human history Show HN: We made an addictive way to fold a sheet of paper Rules of Storytelling According to the UK Gov Death to the ISS - Launch Webcast (starts at 12:00am PDT)
corobo 13y ago
FBI Document: [DELETED] had plan to kill an unresponsive SSH session Pffft, this is obviously just another internet conspiracy

jiggy2011 13y ago

That is literally hilarious. "Nobody’s going to download your bullshit app" , "HN will be retired, transition to Google Wallet Anti-Competitively" , "The best interface is no retirement" , "Amazon's homepage was down for 6 hours to boot Ubuntu" , "PHP Sucks But I Like PHP" , "Programming is a Lie" ,""Gangbang Interviews" and "Bikini Shots": Silicon Valley’s Start-Up Machine" , "Ask HN: What colour is your primary operating system" , "Chrome Engineer: Firefox Is A Costly Mistake" , "CSS Zen Garden is 10 times more efficient than the New Commodore 64" , "How one man escaped from a major UI overhaul" , "Turn anything into a Wikipedia article" , "Women, Tech Conferences and the "profitless business model" fallacy" , "MySQL now includes memcached, and a manifesto" , "FuckItJS: Runs your javascript code with MS Paint" , "Iceland Kicked Out of Y Combinator without an Idea" , "The shittiest project I ever read", "From idea to exit – the vi editor"

jakub_g 13y ago
Soylent: What Happened to the Nexus 7
renekooi 13y ago
- A file that's both an acceptable HTML page and a Raspberry Pi; - My idea to exit – the vi editor; - Ask HN: How much recurring income do you make in the US on copyright charges; - Your Username Will Now Have Amazon Ads Pre-Installed; - This Google ad has moved people to beat comment spam; - The DDoS that almost broke the rules; - Should Quadrotors All Look Like the One in the middle of NYC?
drewhk 13y ago
I hate myself for posting these, but I cannot resist (I am silently shaking from laughter fighting hard not to wake up my newborn): Show HN: Let's Be Civil (I think his was a real post but with Tell HN -- the small change is hilarious) Jordanian citizen was denied re-entry to the Post PC Era Firefox now only has one big flaw I feel I am a programmer Web Intents - the future of spam in Windows A new Python web framework for Haskell
- Fargren 13y ago

flippyhead 13y ago

Love it!

tobltobs 13y ago

pimp up your droplet, this is great.

gamegoblin 13y ago
Poor college student, etc... I am currently using all of my VPS funds hosting a 20$/mo (the big bucks, right?) droplet which is running a server for an AI programming game I made (currently closed testing among my friends).

coldcode 13y ago

Now if we could generate the actual posts and create bot readers we could all retire.

rjtavares 13y ago

Best one I got: "How to build (and how not to do it again)"

WA 13y ago
Show HN: Most Wikipedia articles lead to unlimited lifetime data storage using Norwegian laws A standing desk for two years working on Why I quit my job to personally email the first ISP to challenge the USA

vezzy-fnord 13y ago

Winamp's woes: how the NSA This was HN just a few days ago.

deleted 13y ago

[deleted]

archildress 13y ago

I'll join, this is fun: - Thank HN: 127 days since I quit Facebook - Dropbox: The Hottest Startup You've Never Heard of - Facebook detects if you are not a pilot - Reddit traffic doubles in less than 600 bytes - How to break in Gmail & Major Torrent client for work on Jeopardy

jere 13y ago

You should make this into a twitter bot, à la Two Headlines https://twitter.com/TwoHeadlines https://twitter.com/TwoHeadlines.

namanyayg 13y ago

This is amazing! I got: The Dumbest Idea In The South is 129 Million Years Old Double Fine raises $1m in less than 600 bytes Show HN: Please discuss if it’s 1999 The Student And Quadrupled My Zappos/Twilio hackathon entry into the math Searching for all Who Changed My favorite bookmarked HN users Also How Khan Academy is the Future of Education What it’s like to work for Google I'm pretty sure these are actual titles (lookback = 3) Thanks for the laugh :)

3pt14159 13y ago
> Double Fine raises $1m in less than 600 bytes That is amazing. It combines Kickstarter, a gaming company, a million dollars, a boundary on time, a bait and switch of units, and an air of sass about how they have yet to build ANYTHING.
gamegoblin 13y ago
Nope! The Khan academy one is a splice of How Khan Academy is using machine learning to assess student mastery and Yes, The Khan Academy is the Future of Education The google one is a splice of What it’s like to work for Stripe and No, I still don't want to work for Google I filter out exact matches (or submatches).

BoppreH 13y ago

Suggestion: filter the titles that are identical to real ones. Or maybe it was part of the plan, demonstrating how they are indistinguishable. My deadly disease was just a website. IBM's "Watson" finally ready for preorder. TileMill — an application for making my daughter cry. "Anonymous" Hackers Take Down Megaupload Video Google finally has a natural, almost visceral aversion to complexity Syrian Internet Is a Hero IRS claims it does not compute Stripe raises $18 million from affiliate links on "Ad-Free" blog Why I use paper to wipe my butt every day. Apple not providing LGPL webkit source code 23 years later and you're still loving

gamegoblin 13y ago
If you look at the code, I filter all titles that are substrings (including identical) of real ones. Sometimes the Markov chain will simply add a single word to it, though, so it gets through the filter. Any suggestions on how to improve it?
- BoppreH 13y ago
  Funny, I'm sure I google'd a few of them and got a perfect match, but now I can't find any more. Probably my fault, sorry.
- sillysaurus2 13y ago
  The straightforward solution is: For each fake title, compute its Hamming distance to every real title. Filter titles whose distances are very close to real titles. It's O(N^2), but if you write it in Python and run it with pypy, performance may be acceptable. Maybe. But I think this is a classic example of a Problem That Doesn't Matter. No need to spend time solving it (unless you're having fun!)
- kps 13y ago
  Another suggestion: terminate unmatched open delimiters at the end, and strip unmatched close delimiters (parentheses, quotation marks, etc.

lukasm 13y ago

Brilliant! :) Apartments So Small They Can Say No

Coincoin 13y ago

It's clearly broken, in three tries, it didn't generate any title starting with "How" or "Why".

tripzilch 13y ago
Ask HN: How or why would that happen?

girvo 13y ago

Yeah, I'll pay these: 10x teams, not worth a CEO vs cancer How 'One Weird Trick' Conquered The Fifty Days, Payments Service Disruption Post The first Django site to run for Australian Senate

DanBC 13y ago

Turn it into a game. "Which of these is real? [A] vs [B]" give people ten pairs of headlines and score them. > MongoDB Gotchas and How To Avoid Getting Fired From Your Own Company

darkmighty 13y ago
http://snarxiv.org/vs-arxiv/ http://snarxiv.org/vs-arxiv/
NathanWong 13y ago
Just threw something together for this: http://botornot.nathan.ca/ http://botornot.nathan.ca/
- livestyle 13y ago
  Comments here --> https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6816346 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6816346

FWeinb 13y ago

This is great! Best ones: Zuck, Bill Gates, Jack Dorsey In Short Film To Inspire Kids To Learn How To Write Code In 2012 The tent that turns into concrete in less than 600 bytes CoffeeScript is not a four letter word

Pxtl 13y ago
http://www.reddit.com/r/programming/comments/199o54/watch_zuck_bill_gates_jack_dorsey_others_in_short/ http://www.reddit.com/r/programming/comments/199o54/watch_zu... The first one is verbaitm.
- gamegoblin 13y ago
  It added the "in 2012" bit, which caused it to slip through my duplicate detector. I am trying to think of a better duplicate detector. Right now it just checks if it is an exact match or substring.

y-satellite 13y ago

Funniest thing I've seen in a few days. Markov algorithms are underrated as sources of hilarity. After 180 Websites, I'm Ready to Start the Rest of My Life as an Undocumented Immigrant

Semaphor 13y ago

Show HN: I will stop providing any service to MPlayer Canada Is About to Come Undone? Do the Dishes, Put Out, Don’t Talk So Much Radiation? How Paypal and Reddit faked their way to browse pictures on reddit Oracle gives up trying to escape police Opera moves to restrict Internet freedom Our office is too big -- we need a Pirate :D

coherentpony 13y ago

No "Severing ties with..." titles? :)

valtron 13y ago

> Matt Damon: Edward Snowden did a great job translating LPTHW to Ruby

tbirdz 13y ago

My fellow geeks, we need to have a jobless future Did everybody see what just happened? The pendulum has swung. Do You Really Want to be a Programmer: A Short, Comprehensive, and Personal Summary Why I won't be your technical co-founder Killing the Internet to its knees Hacking the iPod: How I Earned A Lot More on Projects by Changing My Pricing Strategy YC S12 company refuses to pay for TextMate 2 A Billion Dollars Isn’t Cool. You Know What’s Cool? Paid, Paid Vacation. Functional thinking: Why functional programming is on the edge, and so is he

raganwald 13y ago

"The policeman's beard if half-constructed" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Racter https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Racter

darkxanthos 13y ago

Markov chains were my first foray into machine learning. Painfully simple and accessible. It's a great way to show the power of just a little data.

tehwalrus 13y ago

Show HN: I love weird socks and I'm excited about a year & sold a startup...with only 300 lines of Ruby this is gold :)

moot 13y ago

"AppleCrate II: A New Future" Fuck the iWatch and iTV -- I want an AppleCrate II. "The Hacker News is a Work of Art" Indeed it is.

deleted 13y ago
[deleted]
saraid216 13y ago
The Hacker News is Waiting for Godot.

runj__ 13y ago

Sleep is more useful than bash Changes to my career in magic The most difficult CEO skill: managing your own #dickbar Confused by lawsuit, Apple consumers switch to git Netflix to lose time and money

pmtarantino 13y ago

History made in under 1K of javascript

gamegoblin 13y ago
This is by far my favorite. Inspecting the archive, it is a combination of History made in India: Govt agrees to anti-corruption bill And one of the various javascript posts.
- sologrrl 13y ago
  The one you quoted is a real title. http://www.informatica.md/node/77679 http://www.informatica.md/node/77679
  - gamegoblin 13y ago
    I was responding to pmtarantino that his History made in under 1K of javascript was made via a combination of the (real) post title History made in India: Govt agrees to anti-corruption bill and the (real) post title "whatever in 1kb of javascript" (there are many posts with that format of title).
eCa 13y ago
Got that to! MPAA Publicly Threatens to Stop Writing REST API Clients Show HN: my useless weekend project, QR-codes for everybody Mozilla’s Rejection of NativeClient Hurts the Open Web, GNU/Linux in Danger Very clever story telling using HTML and CSS editor The Unintended Effects of Reading Full Text RSS Feed: Get the whole feed and nothing but the FBI How to Quit Your Job, Move to Paradise, and Get So Much Radiation? Didn't see this coming: The Goldman Sachs invests in Duck Duck Go I feel I am depressed and I Bought Lunch in Manhattan with Bitcoins Google's dropping H.264 in Chrome - SSL exploit coming? The Art of writing unmaintainable code. IE11 to support wiretapping

deleted 13y ago

[deleted]

donjo 13y ago

This will come in handy once my team finishes our transition to HackerNews Front Page Driven Development.

increment_i 13y ago

These ones got me some odd looks from my coworkers (couldn't hold in the laughs): The Node Beginner Book, a guide to Objective C What Happens to the HN Crowd: Do nothing for 2 minutes The polynomial algorithm for a Cool Billion Dollars My husband is a new IDE for poets Classic.

3rd3 13y ago

Maybe it could display the original titles when one moves the cursor over the individual words?

jimmytucson 13y ago

It's amazing how with a little ingenuity you can program a source of hysterical laughter. I know comments like this are against HN etiquette but -- thank you gamegoblin!

jseip 13y ago

Endlessly entertaining: "ACLU launches phone app to help you avoid hills in SF"

garychou 13y ago

"4chan founder: Mark Zuckerberg is annoying the bankers"

imdsm 13y ago

> My Neighbor, Steve Jobs dissed me in a "map" interface Damn Steve Jobs.

Pxtl 13y ago

I am honestly laughing to the point of tears. - I quit my job to personally email the first open source project - The 19-year-old jailed for the HN interface - Google to Sell your Company - Einstein's list of front end development resources - 4chan founder: Mark Zuckerberg married - Mozilla and Partners Prepare to Launch a 65Gbps DDoS, and How You Fix It - ORM is an idiot" (Update 3)

ricardobeat 13y ago
So someone has finally been blamed for all these <table>s!

wmf 13y ago

"Show HN: I really need your money"

garychou 13y ago

"Facebook is what happens when one guy practices art every day for nine years"

jmtthis 13y ago

Cool hack to take a photo of Neil Armstrong

sean-duffy 13y ago

Canadians Just Became World's Biggest Problems Ask HN: How did you earn from your browser Experiments Show Gravity Is Not for Everybody Ask HN: How to seem good at math IBM develops 'instantaneous' memory, 100x faster than a Cup of Coffee

inanov 13y ago

That's quite fun!

frik 13y ago

Hiding Nobel prizes in plain English Have You Ever Tried to Sell My Camera on Craigslist Dear NSA, let me know if you're burnt out or just being lazy? Nexus 7, Made for Google Search History Before New Privacy Policy Takes Effect AngularJS Tutorial: Learn to read Korean in 15 minutes, fits in your browser into future How to Make Money -- Without Mining Asteroids Google paid AdBlock Plus to get $12 billion of gold to Venezuela Java Virtual Machine in pure CSS After NSA's XKeyscore, Wikipedia Switches to HTTPS Now, For Free US claims all .com and .net websites are in jail, 1 in 6 Easy Steps to a new syntactic feature to PHP What Business is Wall Street Journal Requests: HTTP for Humans, reached v1.0 Why Putting SSH On Another Port is a straight-up Ponzi scheme Show HN: Pick a number from 1 to 10 Tom Anderson: Google+ makes Google a better, more integrated set of small, responsive CSS modules Behind the scenes of the opportunists and their hackathons Apple not providing LGPL webkit source code released (Apple II assembly) Google open sources resilience engineering library Raspberry Pi now with Twitter's Bootstrap 2 ready for prime-time Jeopardy So you think you will hurt your fingers on your resume Callbacks are the doctor on the iPad - They Undesigned it 4chan's Chris Poole: Facebook & Google founders may mine asteroids Dijkstra: “You will be built again"

drewhk 13y ago
Some People Can Run 18 Static Sites on a soaring eagle [video] Extracting Audio from Pictures of kittens for use as placeholders in your browser A Hacker's Replacement for Gmail users Too scared to write a Linux Server Stuxnet is now hosted on GitHub
- sevenproxies 13y ago
  >A Hacker's Replacement for Gmail users http://dbpmail.net/essays/2013-06-29-hackers-replacement-for-gmail.html http://dbpmail.net/essays/2013-06-29-hackers-replacement-for... Show HN: I spent 2 years ago. I had no idea what that means.

Avalaxy 13y ago

- Power surges in Britain caused by millions of people on Mars - How to hack the immigration system with a floating incubator - Lavabit's founder: 'If You Knew What I Know About Email, You Might Not Know about jQuery - Google Unveils The iPhone 5S

Atroxide 13y ago

HN should put a few of these headlines onto the frontpage on april fools day...

jsumrall 13y ago

Tell HN: My Startup Failed. Fuck.

downer95 13y ago

1. An unofficial alternative to Node.js 2. Ask HN: Best books you read daily? 3. EU Commissioner Will Simply Ignore Any Rejection Of ACTA By EU Parliament supports the new Junk Food 4. Why you shouldn't start a startup on Haskell [video] 5. Stallman: Facebook is using IE6 as standard for displaying web pages 6. Nexus: The best programmers are not paid in proportion to their help text 7. "They're Made out of Facbook is not a war zone 8. Behind the scenes of the opportunists and their hackathons 9. Antibiotic resistance: The last time I saw Steve Jobs 10. The UK Court Sanctions Apple, Hopes "Lack of Integrity" Is Not Free

gliptic 13y ago

Since everyone is doing it... Entire field of particle physics is to switch from X window server to Mir Google's Nexus 7 is now free forever Thoughts on being a fucking joker

Pxtl 13y ago

Eclipse launches new language to cut the crap Anatomy of a 5pm Bedtime Man Walks into a stuffed toy Extracting Audio from Pictures of kittens for use as Paypal in 5 days Why Education Companies Do Not Emulate These Oppressive Nations Dear Programmer, I have seen the future of spam in Windows Do Things that suck in AngularJS SpaceX wins $440M contract with NASA to develop exploits? Google Deletes Last 7 Years Of YouTube Scalability Lessons In 30 Minutes Objective-C in The Rain, Spray Yourself With This Why Japanese Web Design is Horseshit John Carmack: Thoughts on Go after writing 3 websites The Horrible Future of Markdown

bobfunk 13y ago

Awesome! Can't help but add a few of the most hilarious it gave me: How I Became a Billion Dollar Company Dropbox Bug Can Permanently Lose Your Family MPAA Publicly Threatens to Stop Writing REST API Clients Get-shit-done - Easy way to write a single DMCA notice Linux To Become A Better Twitter Bootstrap Government: we can solve a problem with Vim Tower.js - JavaScript library for creating Windows 8 Why I Turned Down $300,000 from Microsoft to acquire Nokia

pmelendez 13y ago

> "I took the top 10 daily posts for the last 3 years from Hacker News Daily (sorry about the few thousand wgets last night!)" I believe you could HNSearch API (https://www.hnsearch.com/api https://www.hnsearch.com/api) and that would not impact the website performance

minimaxir 13y ago
HNSearch does not allow chronological searching and has a limit of 1000 posts per query. Unfortunately.
- kogir 13y ago
  I have plans for a more detailed first-party API: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6818059 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6818059
  - deleted 13y ago
    [deleted]

lazugod 13y ago

- Question for PG: Where do you work? - Things I Wish I Had Been Given - GIMP is Now a Self-Contained Native App for Mac OS X Mouse Annoyances - Why it is awesome to be inflated in seconds - Show HN: I really need your money - Why two spaces after a takedown? - I'd like to skydive through a mountain - Why I still don't contribute to an asshole

AndrewBissell 13y ago

This is pretty great, but I'm surprised there's not more RandomLibraryName.js or .io.

DanWaterworth 13y ago

Google Engineer: What I learned on a round-the-world yacht race Sleep is more important than your users? Ruby developers need to stop using Internet Explorer Tell HN: You said not to. So I quit my job and launch a startup I Up Vote Every 'Show HN' Post and You Should Be Very Worried Turn your browser into a notepad with one line of Ruby I don't know how to IE6

kronholm 13y ago

Thanks for a much needed laugh. This one was my favorite: "Microsoft releases tool for humans"

ismail 13y ago

Federal Prosecutors, in a cellular automata on an RC truck and saves the lives of 6 soldiers

ismail 13y ago

Federal Prosecutors, in a cellular automata on an RC truck and saves the lives of 6 soldiers

raverbashing 13y ago

Here's the best ones I got: "Our office is too slow for programming" "E17 is out after many years in jail, the Internet from the Other Side" "Jack Dorsey: Today Starbucks Signed up for Stallman" "Everything you need to stop fixing bugs in PHP"

ytjohn 13y ago
Holy crap. I just discovered that development for Enlightenment has resumed. I remember loving using E17 back in the day and then drifted away from it as it stopped being updated. I didn't realize development had stopped because E17 was in jail.

iagooar 13y ago

I'm laughing out really loud: * Understanding the code quality of the Fibonacci Sequence * Dad hacks Donkey Kong for his defense * Show HN: Built a Billion-Dollar Business and Still Gets Home By 5:30 PM * Show HN: Tired of Being Tired * Eulerian Video Magnification for Revealing Subtle Changes in Rails? * Why Google Went Offline Today and a plugin that allows fast NoSQL-style access * On Atwood's Please Don't Learn to read a sentence of Chinese kleptocracy * Flashback trojan reportedly controls half a million Americans died and nobody noticed * Why I left Google. What happened to all the female developers? * How to land an airplane if you are logged in Gmail * In emergency cases a passenger was selected and thrown out of the US * Reddit admin: "If SOPA passes it would almost certainly mean the end of 2011 * Software Architecture cheat sheet for web forms * How Porsche hacked the financial system and made a html5 game, polished it many many times

Pxtl 13y ago

Man Survives Steve Ballmer’s Flying Chair To Build a Future Without Cars Notch's 48-hour game: Prelude of the Libyan Rebels Room Temperature Superconductivity Found in X.Org Evernote Peek, The First Guitar That Anybody Can Play How Carrots Became the new Nexus 5 US claims all .com and .net websites are in jail, the Internet café in Zimbabwe Harvard cracks DNA storage, crams 700 terabytes of data into a wireless airplay speaker Judge Orders U.S. to Release iOS Maps App Tonight

OGC 13y ago

"Redditor Explains Why They're Wrong" Like that is going to happen.

kr4 13y ago

How to land an airplane if you are logged in Gmail Matt Damon: Edward Snowden did a great job translating LPTHW to Ruby Dropbox Bug Can Permanently Lose Your Family Mozilla should move Persona out of the plane (2004) Sleep is more important than your users? MongoDB Gotchas and How To Avoid Getting Fired From Your Own Company ~/.osx — a collection of well-written GPGPU programming tutorials

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mikkom 13y ago

> The No. 1 Habit of Highly Effective Mediocre Entrepreneurs > RIP Open Source releases on GitHub > How I've Made 200,000$ in the browser > Massive deposit of lithium found in bag attended US security conference before death (2012) > Flash is dead. Long live Postgresql” > Anonymous goes after Sony, makes it easy to do WYSIWG word processing I love this site :-D

joallard 13y ago

A Man Walks All Day to Create Spectacular Snow Patterns Understanding the code quality of the Fibonacci Sequence Gmail.com being MITM'd by Iran using this idea by now: Font Icons.

neuralk 13y ago

Brilliant, hilarious, and either scarily accurate or perfect satire: Ask HN: I might be a spook Show HN: I'm tired of seeing Mark Cuban: If you want to get rich, stop being a fucking joker Google+ is now available as an alpha release (1991) Apple announces Mac OS X mouse annoyances

davecap1 13y ago

Oh no: Robert Morris, computer security expert, dies at the age of 91

harvestmoon 13y ago

- What Powers Instagram: Hundreds of Passwords - Gmail.com was down for 6 hours to boot Ubuntu - MongoDB Gotchas and How We Nearly Lost the Discovery Shuttle - Facebook, I want to pay defendants' legal bills - How I Learned to Speak Four Languages in a matter of minutes

exizt88 13y ago

Run this for /r/all and become the star of /r/circlejerk.

jlees 13y ago

Nice work! How about caching the number of upvotes and estimating the potential popularity of the generated titles, then for the most promising, getting a ghostwriter to actually create them? Could turn out brilliantly.

j_m_f 13y ago

Lesser known C Craft: C Programs PostgreSQL doesn't care Functional thinking: Why I don't "get" art Elon Musk says ‘um’ ~7 times the tech sector

politician 13y ago

> Can Snowden be targeted using the Soundcloud API? Lovely.

mrbuttons454 13y ago

I quit my job and am excited about a Failing Startup

corford 13y ago

"No, I'm not going to have a jobless recovery. We’re going to have a jobless recovery. We’re going to have a jobless recovery. We’re going to have a jobless recovery. We’re going to have a jobless recovery. We’re going to have a talk." "AWS is down due to IP litigation"

darkstalker 13y ago

- Bunny.py: A WiFi darknet that hides its traffic in the cinema wut

ArekDymalski 13y ago

"Rubular - a visual programming language with eternal moral vigilance" Oh, I just hope people will start doing stuff that fits these titles.

jbrooksuk 13y ago

These are brilliant! Using a loopback of > 3 seems to be the best for me. > I analyzed the chords to 1300 popular songs for patterns. This is what a DDoS attack looks like

libria 13y ago

From the producer that brought us The Social Network: 1. The girl with the JavaScript Ninja Update Categorized under "Well, that was fast": 3. Rate my startup was my worst mistake

SteroidsLove 13y ago

"I’m writing my own DNS servers"

evilturnip 13y ago

My favorite: Indiegogo fund raises enough money to buy random things each month from Amazon

kissickas 13y ago

I seriously feel the need to look up some of these on Google, they're so convincing. All from the same batch, lookback=2: SOPA sponsors break their own IE6-countdown site. The Arduino Solution to Clearing Afghan Landmines What Major World Cities Look Like It Was Made By Samsung WordPress Discontinues Support for SOPA

minciue 13y ago

Wow. Thanks for this, I haven't had such a good laugh in a while. Here's what I got: Hashify.me - store entire website content in the cloud Obama administration is still so offensive This Internet provider pledges to put man on Mars EFF: Apple Should Stand Up and Down the Ladder of Abstraction Video shot from the ground up. Drunk scientists pour wine on superconductors and make tons of money?" Dwarf Fortress: Ten hours with the TSA I’m tired of the Solar System 37signals.com - Evolution of a working nuclear reactor IE11 to support wiretapping Ask HN: Google employees, why is G+ more important than food RSS Is Dying, and You Should Too

yourad_io 13y ago
> Ask HN: Google employees, why is G+ more important than food It must be sentient.

ivanhoe 13y ago

"Functional Programming For The First Smartphone Designed Entirely By Lawyers" - this sounds totally legit :)

ismail 13y ago

WordPress has left the solar system

MichaelMoser123 13y ago

Thank you Gamegoblin, now it is clear to me that I am spending too much time on HN. And...Must resist the \for a mee too. (futile). Nuclear Power is Safest Way to Extract the Main Topics from a Scared Actress US Patent system so dysfunctional you can tell Arial from Helvetica? N-gram Analysis of the world for 8 years straight Guys buy island on Craigslist, use Kickstarter to turn up the volume in the wrong SSL certificate Bill Gates: My Plan to Raid The Pirate Bay Sergey Brin invests in Duck Duck Go

MichaelMoser123 13y ago

Thank you, know it is clear to me that I am spending too much time on HN. And...Must resist the urge for a mee tooo. (futile). Nuclear Power is Safest Way to Extract the Main Topics from a Scared Actress US Patent system so dysfunctional you can tell Arial from Helvetica? N-gram Analysis of the world for 8 years straight Guys buy island on Craigslist, use Kickstarter to turn up the volume in the wrong SSL certificate Bill Gates: My Plan to Raid The Pirate Bay Sergey Brin invests in Duck Duck Go

henrik_w 13y ago

Absolutely hilaruous! Some good ones: Netflix Now The Largest Single Source of Internet Explorer privacy controls How one man escaped from a major statistical error. 20 lines of e-mail data Skype options turn out to be a Girl in Tech Scott Adams: How to Apply to Y Combinator Started

cossatot 13y ago

Only going to share 1, it was so good: ''' Down syndrome reversed in 2011 '''

lanekelly 13y ago

Got this one: >No, I still don't want to download your bullshit app Thinking it was too good to not already be a headline, I searched and found this: >No, I'm not going to download your bullshit app Pure gold.

joshaidan 13y ago

Looks like I found my weekend project: "Show HN: Game where you write Python robots to fight crime"

metaxy2 13y ago

I think I may have gotten the best one, on my second try: "Zynga Shuts Down LucasArts"

RBerenguel 13y ago

Lost an stupidly large amount of time laughing so hard I cried. Some of the best: Steve Jobs Presents His Ideas For A New Kind of Screwed Home-made bombs are being deleted from Wikipedia Show HN: New platform for finding work - Son of J.R.R. Tolkien finally speaks out Why I'm done with the booth babes The Geeks Who Saved Prince of Persia source code 23 years later and you're still loving US judge orders hundreds of sites "de-indexed" from Google, what do we need some badass hackers to fill it up. Why F1 Steering Wheels Have Over 20 Buttons - And Still Isn't Difficult Enough To Watch HBO Shows Ask PG: Comments are not a four letter word Opening *.txt file is dangerous on Windows 8 OEM specs may block Linux booting Ultrabook: Intel's $300 million plan to beat comment spam Ocean acidification due to HTML5 Markdown.css – make HTML look like Microsoft made their own company Introducing schema.org: Search engines come together for a return of the universe Researchers Finally Replicated Reinhart-Rogoff, and There Are Too Many Cops Are Told They’re Soldiers Fighting a War. How Did We Get Here? Parsley.js: never write a single JavaScript line to validate 50 cancer studies L'Aquila quake: Italy scientists found guilty of aiding the enemy, but convicted of multiple other counts The New iPad's Screen Under the hood of Windows to test older versions of VLC How Carrots Became the new Opus audio format Please learn to code? Don't copy and paste, type out other people's code An analysis of an unknown compression format Why must you laugh at you, then they laugh at my desk Fastest-growing YC S11 startup (3M monthly uniques) YC S11 startup (3M monthly uniques) YC S11 startup looking for people to talk to restaurants. Windows 8 is 20% faster than MemSQL Republicans Repudiate 40 Years of Firefox Oboe.js: reacting to Ajax/Rest quicker by not waiting for it to Open Source Copenhagen Suborbitals open-source private spacerocket will launch in an unrelated raid Youtube claims I don't know they're in water Why shuttle Atlantis will not do a tech job at Facebook Kit Kat's homepage is currently a parody of Silicon Valley, Bad for the state of Berlin

hluska 13y ago

I'm having one of the worst days of my adult life, but this one made me laugh very hard. #9 - Reginald Braithwaite is a Red Herring

henrik_w 13y ago

This reminded me of "SCIgen - An Automatic CS Paper Generator" http://pdos.csail.mit.edu/scigen/ http://pdos.csail.mit.edu/scigen/

fla 13y ago

Thank you for this ! And by the way : "Let’s Build a Truly Free Version of Windows to test drive autonomous cars on public roads? California says yes"

bobbles 13y ago

"Show HN: I hacked my microwave with a Raspberry Pi into a wireless airplay speaker" Classic

mck- 13y ago

This reminds me of a hackathon project of mine: https://github.com/mck-/oneliner https://github.com/mck-/oneliner It basically uses a very similar algorithm to summarize any given piece of text in one line.

namenotrequired 13y ago

Some of my favourites: How to add a “person to blame” field to every site you visit Larry Page to be forked Why PHP Was a Political Prisoner at Birth in North Carolina in 1961 Why Explore Space? A 1970 Letter to sites with Twitter Bootstrap, jQuery UI or pure jQuery Peter Thiel: We’re in a Year Developers are the most effective thing you did to improve Python for Go Watch YC Startup with Paying Customers

namenotrequired 13y ago

"Solve your first 10 customers" - what, kill them with chemical solutions?

DouweM 13y ago

I would love a Chrome extension that would randomly inject these into the actual Hacker News front page, and which would then keep a tally of how often I clicked the link and fell for it.

DouweM 13y ago
And here it is: https://github.com/DouweM/AlgoNews https://github.com/DouweM/AlgoNews

ddd1600 13y ago

Brilliant! "Show HN: The home automation system with a touchscreen and few buttons was obvious"

jw_ 13y ago

"I quit my job, and I'm excited about a Failing Startup"

cupcake-unicorn 13y ago

Haha, awesome, reminds me of the sarcastic 4chan post that came up earlier. Here's a great one: I love weird socks and I'm surfing a PDF

r0muald 13y ago

An unknown proportion of these titles have a corresponding news article or blog post, somewhere on the Web, just waiting to pop up on HN.

eitland 13y ago

A day in the Middle of Detroit How to land an airplane (if you don't control it) Richard Stallman on Steve Jobs: A Few New Things Coming To JavaScript Yes, You Can Use Regexes to Parse HTML I made an addictive way to browse pictures on reddit Facebook sinks to record a video cam on an HTML5 game. I finally understand why I'm not buying Facebook

hvass 13y ago

This is too good. This I easily see as a link bait at 'Business Insider': "Why Quit? Because the other company has bigger monitors."

jamornh 13y ago

Amazing, can't stop laughing! - Ubuntu ported to the Web when you hit it with the stupid stick - Why the cheapest maple syrup is the new compose in Gmail - Oxford announces new degree in Computer Security, Dies at 78 - Cancer Vaccine, tailor-made for each cashier - Hacking the iPod: How I Screwed Yasser Arafat out of bed for less than an hour

fruchtose 13y ago

LevelDB: a fast multiple-account Google Docs makes it personal... very personal Show HN: When is good time to cut the crap Can Snowden be targeted using the Soundcloud API MIT's artificial leaf is ten times more income from Android than from Windows ’95 Free online version of Apache HTTP Server released What the smartest people do on the Moon Sorry, this blog post is not non-linear Supreme Court to allow Google to sue me into acquiring. Help Lawsuit Filed To Prove Happy Birthday Is In The Middle Of A Terrible Blubble Chrome now the most effective thing you did to improve Python for Pythonists IBM to Acquire a Domain Name? My husband is a JavaScript library for capturing input Youporn.com is now MIT licensed

timewasted 13y ago

This is awesome. My GF learned to be forked Online course: Build your own #dickbar Why you should learn just a little bit Apple, a little bit Apple, a little bit Apple, a little Awk - A Native-Looking and Feeling Mobile HTML5 Front-End Framework Firefox 6 released with long-sought Higgs boson discovery

ericgsmith 13y ago

In 1951 there was a startup on Haskell

FiloSottile 13y ago

Awesome. > Jack Dorsey does 8 hours at Twitter, 8 hours at Twitter, 8 hours at Twitter, 8 hours at Twitter, 8 hours at Square daily

gautamnarula 13y ago

My favorite: Germany Minister o Justice demands immediate response to "Paul Graham's Letter to YC Companies"

mieubrisse 13y ago

"I'm a loser and I need someone to talk about why I'm not allowed to use Lisp"

drak0n1c 13y ago

Plenty of Fish Hacked - Chris Russo explains how he did it 25 years ago I hoped we would extend Emacs to do market research

beernutz 13y ago

How to land an airplane if you are logged into Gmail Tim O'Reilly: Really, Google is making a comeback due to harassment Ask HN: Does anyone actually code at a parole

Groxx 13y ago

Design Books Every Hacker Should Read (At Least Twice) I could swear I've read that post (at least twice).

gamegoblin 13y ago
There was a real post called "Papers Every Hacker Should Read (At Least Twice)" and another called "Design Books Every Hacker Should Read" The program spliced them together.

chrismorgan 13y ago

My GF learned to code in 3 months. This is what it's like to skydive through a thunderstorm ... the connection there is concerning. Bitcoin ruled illegal in North Carolina in 1961 Very impressive! Introducing BrowserID: A better Ruby REPL And here I was, all along thinking it was something else. Static analysis of Steve Jobs To Take On The Nexus 7 is now feature complete for C++14 I knew C++14 was a broad-scoped language, but using the power of Steve Jobs to tackle Android? Who'd 'a thunked it?

DouweM 13y ago

I just built a Chrome extension that randomly adds one of these to the Hacker News and hckr news frontpages: https://github.com/DouweM/AlgoNews https://github.com/DouweM/AlgoNews

fyskij 13y ago

After 180 Websites, I’m Ready to Start the Rest of My Life as an Undocumented Immigrant

swoker 13y ago

"Hover.com: we store & email passwords in plaintext to the cloud" "Obama wins back the right to cheat their exams" I laughed so hard!

bhaumik 13y ago

So you created the http://what-would-i-say.com/ http://what-would-i-say.com/ for all of Hacker News? Kudos.

agibsonccc 13y ago

<3 markov chains. I had to do something like this for a homework assignment a long time ago. Here's mine: PredictionIO – A Simple Explanation for Why HP Abandoned Palm Obama said the NSA Over Data Collection NSA collecting phone records for his defense How to Be Upside-Down GMail: designer arrogance and the $580 Million Black Hole Contains a New Type of Employee You Really Should Log Client-Side Errors How to solve it Google disables AdSense account of Coinpal shut down a product? Open source dynamic body physics engine rebuilt in 25KB—on a graphing calculator Google to acquire Nokia Serving at the Pleasure of the plot Watch YC Startup with Paying Customers A Brief, Incomplete, and Mostly Wrong History of the storm we're pushing the YC application deadline back to Firefox 4 that makes you a better background pattern for your games. Goodbye Basecamp, This Is All Your Email 37signals invests in synthetic beef Groupon is a GitHubber The first Django site to run for Australian Senate Single page apps in the lab: Apple is back Calling the NSA: "I accidentally deleted - last backup one year of college calculus to grad student level Edward Snowden: Saving Us from the Family of Neil Armstrong on Programmer Productivity Some advice from Jeff Bezos on Post purchase Is Google building a TC alternative. Will you post an update on "What I've learned from Hacker News, what else you read?

hilarium 13y ago

These had me on the floor: My husband is a JavaScript library for capturing input Ignored by big companies, Mexican village creates its own encryption standard “I hate almost all software” — Ryan Dahl steps down U.S. Government to Force Facebook into Handing-Over their Secret Tracking Data Show HN: Learn Math the Hard Way Valve hired their first Github repo

izietto 13y ago

I got this: "Google finally has a huge security hole". Finally!

vmp32k 13y ago

ACTA killed in hit and run accident

pkhamre 13y ago

Performance and more online pornography Notch live in Monthly Revenues 16-year-old Makes 99% of the Performance tips for startups Mojang's Monster Truck Madness 2 Node.js two minutes = 10 times

vincvinc 13y ago

Startup hopes to hack the beliefs that are holding you back Thank you for epitomizing HN.

rdl 13y ago

Next step is to get humans to write the articles based on those titles, and then auto-generate fake comments based on those articles.

vellum 13y ago

The Woman Problem Cosmo: A wolf in the command key files show how to Start Banning “Servers” Custora (YC S12) Reinvents Transistors Using JSON Ask HN: We Should Read (At Least Pretend to) Know What’s up Guy makes a knife from scratch. He has to make a chat server in 12 lines of code Show HN: Create Javascript charts with one line of code that beat A/B testing every time Show HN: Why You I’m Glad We Need Emotional Support Staff to update to C# App JQuery 1.5.1 released, includes memcached, written in 24 hours Game Industry Needs a cartoonist's advice

DigitalSea 13y ago

This is the greatest thing I have seen on Hacker News in a very long time, and I mean that. This is genius, the titles that it generates paint a pretty clear trend of topics HN likes to discuss: The New York Times, failure, Go, PHP and of course limited to 2013, the NSA. Some of my favourites I've generated today include: Living in a bubble MIT is a Bing Affiliate Scam My GF learned to be inflated in seconds Hacker Who Helped Put Jazz Back in 1997 That Made Amazon a Gorilla I Hope My Father Hated India How you eat corn on the road to Starcraft Tim O'Reilly: Really, Google is making a comeback due to harassment Skype vulnerability allowing hijacking of an interview Voyager 1 has been forked Using prime numbers to make unlocking phones legal again passes 100,000 signatures As a result of this app, I've seen my productivity drop by about 40% today, because this is seriously addictive. I've got an idea for a tech satire site and I am going to use this to generate post titles as inspiration for articles.

mcphilip 13y ago

NY Comptroller: Legalise marijuana, tax it now with three.js

loceng 13y ago

Add voting for top titles to get the gems in a list...

loceng 13y ago

"Why the cheapest maple syrup is the best predictor of code quality"

herbig 13y ago

Our unrealistic views of death, through a thunderstorm

yetanotherphd 13y ago

Nothing makes a place feel like a hive of groupthink like n-grams.

omeid2 13y ago

Well, here are my top 10: MIT scientist captures 90,000 hours of video of Mayor Rob Ford smoking crack. What Every C Programmer Should Know About Fitness is a straight-up Ponzi scheme Name.com hijacks non-existent subdomains and redirects to their help Text WebKit is the sum of three primes John's Phone: a minimalist cell phone unlocking and fixes the DMCA On Confirmed Assumptions or, Not Trusting Google is evil now? Let's Get Real. How About Apple? Ask PG: could you travel across the U.S. government poisoned alcohol during Prohibition Beej's Guide to Social Hacking: How we screwed (almost) the whole Apple community JS roguelike game: The Royal Canadian Mint just announced a new alternative to Github Ed McMillen: Ubuntu Store Sold Super Meat Boy leaves database wide This thing is hilarious.

jasonlmk 13y ago

These ones got me: Google has an entire country What is Possible When There's no need to build a windmill Ask HN: How would I get my entertainment via BitTorrent Absolutely hilarious!

21cssindia 13y ago

Oracle Enterprise Manager Grid Control 12C Click Here For Enquiry Introduction Course overview Key Challenges for Administrators What Is Enterprise Manager Cloud Control? Built-in and Integrated Manageability Configuration Management Reviewing Enterprise Manager Core Concepts Review Oracle Enterprise Manager architecture Agent Installation and Target Discovery Describing Different Target Types Monitoring Cloud Control Security (very high level) Managing Securely with Credentials http://www.21cssindia.com/courses.html http://www.21cssindia.com/courses.html 21st Century providing Online training and support on All Technologies. If you are seeking training and support you can reach me on 91-9000444287. Online training by real time Experts. Call us 001-309-200-3848 for online training

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dizzystar 13y ago

Wow, these aren't real? -- Why I won't be your technical co-founder -- How to design a CAPTCHA -- Why I do not want to work for Google -- The end of the web as we know it -- Show HN: I'm working on an HTML5 game. I finally released it -- Why I am building a new Google Wave -- Learn Regex The Hard Way by Zed Shaw -- Agile is a Lie -- How to Learn Go -- The Only Way to Improve Your UI

meowface 13y ago
I think some of them do end up being the original titles with some considerable probability, due to the way these kinds of Markov chains work.
- gamegoblin 13y ago
  No, because I filter those out. Sometimes they are an original title + 1 or 2 words, though, which are trickier to catch.

amjd 13y ago

Ask PG: What Is Intelligence, Anyway? DIY Weapons of the USA Patriot Act Researchers 'speak' to dolphins in their own IE6-countdown site. Why doesn't every company buy developers the best startups in the Milky Way Galaxy My Daughter’s Homework Is Killing You

lifeformed 13y ago

"White hat" Facebook hacker gets 8 months at Microsoft The Art of writing unmaintainable code.

localuser 13y ago

Hilarious! If you guys would love to get a tweet a day from this follow HorseHN. I will tweet a couple a day. https://twitter.com/HorseHN https://twitter.com/HorseHN

gvm 13y ago

That's really funny. My favourite: "I haven’t been drunk in 3 minutes"

adityar 13y ago

How to land an airplane if you are logged in Gmail

interstitial 13y ago

I'm not laughing, I want to read these articles! Get to work and make your magic robot compose the stories.

lsh 13y ago

LuaJit 2.0 is out after many years in prison The Day I Saw Van Gogh’s Genius in a single line of JavaScript Are mass shootings really random events? A look at the performance of Google Chrome Chinese Hackers Infiltrate New York (Not Just At Toll Booths)

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rext 13y ago

-I'm an American and I want to watch the Olympics, live, from the United States Government by stealing .gov -Chinese students and families fight for the right to sell your iOS app -Chinese Hackers Infiltrate New York Times, manage to spend $40 million on its pay wall? -Hit men, click whores, and paid apologists: Welcome to the United States -Our security auditor is an idiot. How do I write a Web application in Python? -Poll: Do you know where they are? I do. Impressive. The last is a little ominous though.

kristiandupont 13y ago

I cannot resist but to join in. Thanks OP for a great laugh this morning! WeekendHacker.net - A Private Small Claims Internet Court Bruce Schneier has changed since being hidden? Sublime Text 2 Beta released with support for SOPA Skrollr - parallax scrolling for the right answer to "Who Is Hiring Remote Workers? (January 2011 Edition) An iPhone lover’s confession: I switched to the Brain Experience the Apollo 11 Rockets

eksith 13y ago

Sweet Jesus! Ask HN: How much recurring income do you make in the witchhunt? 75-year-old soybean farmer sees Monsanto lawsuit reach U.S. Supreme Court to avoid judicial review of the HP-35 Why I've built an alternative to CSS resets I could have sworn, I actually saw that headline for real. The PNG image file format is now feature complete for C++14 You're a developer, so why do you escape CRUD jobs? Because they're not sexy and doesn't involve Big Data somehow... or at least to the gratuitous degree I want Big Data in my life for no discernible reason. Patio11 Wrote A Book On Conversion Optimization For Software Crack, Creator Provides Free App Instead Hahaha! Mistakes You Can’t Copyright Porn, Harassed BitTorrent Defendant Insists Why Google Earth - after 25 years Company backed by James Cameron & Google Are Doing It All Secret Fears of the NSA’s surveillance state? Looks like NSA titles are still making it into the headlines.

mrcactu5 13y ago

this is cool have you seen snarxiv? http://snarxiv.org/ http://snarxiv.org/ in the comments the author discusses how he generated convincing titles using context free grammars: snarXiv is based on a context free grammar (CFG) — basically a set of rules for computer-generated mad libs... The snarxiv’s grammar is 622 lines long... The coolest and most natural thing to do with a CFG is exploit recursiveness as much as possible. The more recursion built in, the less predictable and richer the output. I am guessing they learned the Context-Free Grammar by reading many abstracts and titles.

jakab922 13y ago

Best post ever. :)

eaxbin 13y ago

Intel Core 2 Duo Remote Exec Exploit in JavaScript in less than 600 bytes Scary stuff!

ciex 13y ago

This thread is like a fully automated reddit.com/r/circlejerk without all the exaggeration.

dyadic 13y ago

Oh, this is beautiful. Nice work Things to Never Say “Click Here” DIY Weapons of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. AMA Did everybody see what just happened? The pendulum has swung. Rootkit on a cube-shaped planet So Long and Thanks for your password

nightpool 13y ago

You definitely need a way to vote up certain titles. Something like what http://www.mezzacotta.net/ http://www.mezzacotta.net/ has would make a great addition to the site.

scep12 13y ago

My favorite so far: Hey Google, thanks for making money on the web?

rjknight 13y ago

Women, Tech Conferences and the Meaning of Life (2011) That great forgotten Monty Python movie...

biftek 13y ago

What are the odds the 10th result for me was "Learn Python the hard way by Zed Shaw"?

pitchups 13y ago

The ones below seem very real and plausible: Art of Funding a Startup - Bill Watterson, a cartoonist's advice A better approach to analytics. Just capture everything Interactive map of Linux kernel infringes on patents. Lawsuit avalanche to follow. Apparently Yelp has a natural, almost visceral aversion to complexi Show HN: fontBomb - Stylishly destroy the web as we know it Google+'s Real Goal is Mars In China, the rich and powerful can hire body doubles to do damage control Show HN: Hackershelf. Community curated collection of failed predictions The Unintended Effects of Reading

cmarschner 13y ago

Related (and in part even funnier): SciGen, the scientific paper generator. Have fun :) http://pdos.csail.mit.edu/scigen/ http://pdos.csail.mit.edu/scigen/

mcintyre1994 13y ago

"Bitcoin hits $1 billion in shock IPO" :)

CrazedGeek 13y ago

"PS4 UX is powered by the Soviet Union's space program?"

almondsays 13y ago

This is fun. - Instagram says it now has the right to indefinitely detain under NDAA - Redditors earning $100k+ a year, secret files show - Physicist proposes new way to view IAmA's on Reddit - Linux may have been due to bad connection - Kim Dotcom: The US recording industry is stealing my ebook

amjd 13y ago
Some more: - 3px of padding makes all the female developers? - Postgres on the moon - Game Over: Zynga Shuts Down 84,000 Websites, ‘By Mistake’ - IBM to Acquire Tumblr - Firefox Beta 15 supports the possible suspension of U.S. - Kim Dotcom: The US recording industry is stealing my ebook

samweinberg 13y ago

Unintentionally also an HN parody generator.

syswsi 13y ago

For those who enjoyed this would probably enjoy this title generator which also aggregates article titles of website such as buzzfeed and TMZ http://headline-generator.herokuapp.com/best http://headline-generator.herokuapp.com/best

NoodleIncident 13y ago

Feds Mistakenly Shut Down on Wednesday to Protest SOPA The Onion either already uses something like this, or is obligated to start. This is comedic gold!

trusche 13y ago

Beautiful. My favourite so far: "Show HN: I hacked my microwave with a Raspberry Pi into a wireless airplay speaker"

jonrimmer 13y ago

'Creator of "Dirty Jobs" Mike Rowe testifies to Congress about the WebKit inspector'