7 ms·

This article is a treasure trove of narcissism and self-pity. I don't mean that to be criticism; I think it's an accurate depiction of the malaise that comes fr

by branden 17y ago

This article is a treasure trove of narcissism and self-pity. I don't mean that to be criticism; I think it's an accurate depiction of the malaise that comes from having nothing truly important to worry about. I recognize a bit of myself in it.

strlen 17y ago
I entirely agree with that: the problem is narcissism and self-pity; that has ramifications. Like you, I don't mean in an offensive way. It's fairly tragic and the sadness these people experience is real. People are pitying themselves so highly that they're actively hurting themselves. People are setting unrealistic expectations for themselves and are driving themselves to depression when they don't meet them. E.g. if someone is unhappy with their job/their significant other, they should either re-asses their expectations/priorities and/or look for another (do you want high pay, or do you want greater flexibility? do you want a greater fulfillment, or do you want a strict 9-5 job with frequent vacations?). Instead, the people described in their article (as well as many I've known) lament how it's impossible for them to find the perfect job/partner/residence and thus become depressed as they view themselves as not only unhappy in the present, but stuck in a world of perpetual unhappiness. Just as there are architectural trade offs made when designing a computer system (do you want strong consistency, do you want low latency, do you want scalability? Pick two.), so there are in life.
martythemaniak 17y ago
I'm sorry but that is nothing but a bunch of ignorant hand-waving. Whenever something like the quarterlife crisis is brought up, there is a strong current of thinking that goes something like "These people should just get over themselves" Fact is, there are a number of huge factors working against young people these days. Consider the following: - You can't get a decent job without a decent education. It used to be that a highschool graduate could get a job that paid enough to support a family, a concept that is completely absurd these days. Kids these days are finishing school much later than their parents, and they don't have a choice. - the cost of school is sky-rocketting, as it debt. - A rapid climb in income inequality over the last generation (check the historical gini index for reference) means that there aren't very many quality, well paying jobs available to young people. - young people will be stuck with the bill to clean up the fucking mess we're going through right now AND pay for the retirement and medical care of the people that have brought about this shit-storm. The end result is, society has raised it's children with the wrong set of values, with policies that screw them over and now tries to wash it's hands clean by essentially saying that the stupid kids should have seen it all coming when they were pre-pubescent teens and manouvered around it.
- heed 17y ago
  Not just that, but there is so much social pressure and expectation that pushes you along through highschool, through college without much promotion toward the alternatives. Never once did I think or hear that I didn't have to go to college, that I could learn some sort of trade or technical skill instead. I blindly followed my nicely laid out path with little objection, and in a way feel robbed, though realize it ultimately my fault. But what's really depressing is that I can't complain, at all. I am so lucky to have this life, these opportunities, but it is totally despairing to be aware of just how narcissistic and selfish it is to be able to have a 'quarter-life crisis. The fact is though, these feelings of despair exist, and for valid reasons.
  - ShardPhoenix 17y ago
    The fact that someone else has it worse doesn't make your feelings any less real.
    - sneakums 17y ago
      Group hug!
  - jimbokun 17y ago
    "I blindly followed my nicely laid out path with little objection, and in a way feel robbed, though realize it ultimately my fault." A third option to feeling robbed or feeling it is your fault is thinking about what you want to do now, given the insight given you by the outcomes of your past choices. Sure, the feelings you describe are there for everyone at some point, but they don't have to determine your course of action (or inaction).
  - shpxnvz 17y ago
    Welcome to the same life that everyone one of us has lived, all the way back to your parents. The particulars of your concerns, worries, feelings, and fears may be different, but the fact that you have them is not.
- patio11 17y ago

by branden 17y ago

strlen 17y ago

I entirely agree with that: the problem is narcissism and self-pity; that has ramifications. Like you, I don't mean in an offensive way. It's fairly tragic and the sadness these people experience is real. People are pitying themselves so highly that they're actively hurting themselves. People are setting unrealistic expectations for themselves and are driving themselves to depression when they don't meet them. E.g. if someone is unhappy with their job/their significant other, they should either re-asses their expectations/priorities and/or look for another (do you want high pay, or do you want greater flexibility? do you want a greater fulfillment, or do you want a strict 9-5 job with frequent vacations?). Instead, the people described in their article (as well as many I've known) lament how it's impossible for them to find the perfect job/partner/residence and thus become depressed as they view themselves as not only unhappy in the present, but stuck in a world of perpetual unhappiness. Just as there are architectural trade offs made when designing a computer system (do you want strong consistency, do you want low latency, do you want scalability? Pick two.), so there are in life.

martythemaniak 17y ago

I'm sorry but that is nothing but a bunch of ignorant hand-waving. Whenever something like the quarterlife crisis is brought up, there is a strong current of thinking that goes something like "These people should just get over themselves" Fact is, there are a number of huge factors working against young people these days. Consider the following: - You can't get a decent job without a decent education. It used to be that a highschool graduate could get a job that paid enough to support a family, a concept that is completely absurd these days. Kids these days are finishing school much later than their parents, and they don't have a choice. - the cost of school is sky-rocketting, as it debt. - A rapid climb in income inequality over the last generation (check the historical gini index for reference) means that there aren't very many quality, well paying jobs available to young people. - young people will be stuck with the bill to clean up the fucking mess we're going through right now AND pay for the retirement and medical care of the people that have brought about this shit-storm. The end result is, society has raised it's children with the wrong set of values, with policies that screw them over and now tries to wash it's hands clean by essentially saying that the stupid kids should have seen it all coming when they were pre-pubescent teens and manouvered around it.

heed 17y ago
Not just that, but there is so much social pressure and expectation that pushes you along through highschool, through college without much promotion toward the alternatives. Never once did I think or hear that I didn't have to go to college, that I could learn some sort of trade or technical skill instead. I blindly followed my nicely laid out path with little objection, and in a way feel robbed, though realize it ultimately my fault. But what's really depressing is that I can't complain, at all. I am so lucky to have this life, these opportunities, but it is totally despairing to be aware of just how narcissistic and selfish it is to be able to have a 'quarter-life crisis. The fact is though, these feelings of despair exist, and for valid reasons.
- ShardPhoenix 17y ago
  The fact that someone else has it worse doesn't make your feelings any less real.
  - sneakums 17y ago
    Group hug!
- jimbokun 17y ago
  "I blindly followed my nicely laid out path with little objection, and in a way feel robbed, though realize it ultimately my fault." A third option to feeling robbed or feeling it is your fault is thinking about what you want to do now, given the insight given you by the outcomes of your past choices. Sure, the feelings you describe are there for everyone at some point, but they don't have to determine your course of action (or inaction).
- shpxnvz 17y ago
  Welcome to the same life that everyone one of us has lived, all the way back to your parents. The particulars of your concerns, worries, feelings, and fears may be different, but the fact that you have them is not.
patio11 17y ago