5 ms·

Being Crazy Is Noisy

64 points by thamer 17y ago

niyazpk 17y ago
Highly recommended read, just to remember that people like John are out there. It is an amazing story. The more I think about it, the more I am amazed at the variety and magnitude of problems people face in their lives. I don't want to sound sympathetic. I don't know what to write. I should not have started writing this.
- michael_dorfman 17y ago
  It is an amazing story-- although I wish the headline was more cognizant of the near-infinite variety of experience that you mention. "Crazy" isn't always noisy; sometimes it is quiet...
geuis 17y ago
It seems like the story was cut short. It ends with "That would mess things up" and it seems like this story should go on a lot more.
- jimbokun 17y ago
  I found myself expecting a happy or at least somewhat redeeming ending. There was none. I suppose that reflects the reality of this man's life.
  - TrevorJ 17y ago
    The happy part is in the bio at the bottom where it say he holds a white collar job at a firm. Wow. When I grumble to myself about my ADHD again I am going to remember this man and realize what TRUE courage is.
    - dimitar 17y ago
      Have you been diagnosed? Do you deal with it?
    - zandorg 17y ago
      I recently learned that the general view is 'Helping you back to work' for people with mental health disorders. But if you haven't already got a career when you become ill, it's virtually impossible to get a paying job - especially in computing. And that's something I'm trying to publicise and prevent.
      - blueben 17y ago
        I don't believe conditions like this are often sudden so much as a long time coming. Even folks with young adult onset bipolar disorder often have hints throughout their lives. That would suggest that it's not necessarily being afflicted that determines whether you develop a career.
  - dimitar 17y ago
    There is a comment from his wife below the article: http://www.moreintelligentlife.com/story/being-crazy-noisy#comment-10131 http://www.moreintelligentlife.com/story/being-crazy-noisy#c... my husband shows that it is possible to have a seemingly devastating diagnosis like schizoaffective disorder or schizophrenia, but to lead a productive, and perhaps even happy life.
tarkin2 17y ago
I found the part when he said he was not surprised that he was failing art class interesting--not surprised because he knows he's a failure, knows this because his voices tell him this. The rhythm, the constant beat, of his negative voices seem to have rendered him unable to think rationally, to ask for proof of his assumed--all encompassing--failure, or to ever act in a positive way, and then to one day disprove his assumed--all encompassing--failure. And the latter causes a self-fulfilling prophesy, which builds up more proof of his failure, and thus gets stronger and stronger.
raju 17y ago
A very insightful comment on the article [http://www.moreintelligentlife.com/story/being-crazy-noisy#comment-10132 http://www.moreintelligentlife.com/story/being-crazy-noisy#c...] - And I quote - "Not only I found the article very interesting, but the thing that struck me the most was its utter lucidity. How can one be in so much turmoil and yet be able to write such beautiful as well as clear, concise, and penetrating prose? The answer is, one can, and maybe the moral of the article is that one should not ask this question in the first place. Better still, perhaps the 'crazier' we are, the more lucid we are and that in itself can be the bane of our noisy lives."
sili 17y ago
Great article. I have never looked to much into disorders like that and always thought that hearing voices that tell you to "kill yourself" is more of a popular myth. I though that one would usually hear just random things. Thank you for dispelling this for me. The guy also shows what it really means to overcome difficulties. HN related, the brain is a very complex "computer" with its own bugs.
- blueben 17y ago
  A number of neurological conditions such as Tourette's, Schizophrenia, and their friends seem to gravitate towards (and feedback on) inappropriate commentary and action. It's probably related to malfunctioning disinhibitionary mechanisms in the brain. The more you don't want to do them and the more inappropriate you know they are, the more frequently they occur and the stronger the urges become. Ever see a disturbing image or hear a highly inappropriate joke or comment and then try to put it out of your mind, only to find that the harder you try to ignore it, the harder it becomes to ignore? The experience is similar.
mr_bill 17y ago
Sock puppet account here to protect privacy... I often wonder how relevant someone's upbringing is in stories like this. I've been depressed and "heard" suicidal and self-hateful thoughts pretty much every day since I was 9 or 10. But I was raised in a small town in the Midwest by parents who would tell me (with the best of intentions) to "suck it up" and "get over it" when I was in a particularly deep or prolonged funk. I pretty much cried every day in 4th grade anytime I was alone due to being overwhelmed by how much I hated myself. Anytime something would happen, I'd think "you should kill yourself." It never occurred to me that I might have a condition or that I was hearing voices. And perhaps I'm not, in the same way that this person is. I have no idea. All I knew was that I felt sad all the time, and others didn't seem to feel the same way. My only conclusion was that I had some weakness or flaw that other kids didn't have. I subconsciously found coping mechanisms. First it was superhero comics and video games. Playing sports seemed to help a good bit, too, though I despised the monotony of it. Eventually, I found online porn, and that became my treatment of choice anytime I felt a funk coming on. This caused a good bit of guilt, though and has made dating difficult. I went out east for college and was suddenly in a community where people like me were "diagnosed" and put on medication. I was surrounded by east-coasters on meds. There was a clinical solution for "being bummed out all the time." I'd never considered that I might have a mental illness that could be treated pharmacologically. I thought about seeing a professional about my situation, but the downsides seemed and still seem pretty immense. Once you're officially diagnosed, your life changes forever. If I was diagnosed as clinically depressed or something more serious like the conditions the original author claims to have, wouldn't I be labeled a crazy person for life? And what if they recommended extensive, unpleasant treatments that would interrupt or seriously hamper my career or personal life? If I test positive for some serious mental illness, would the doctor be obligated to inform the state? My employer? My family? And once you test positive, doesn't that become your identity? You are a crazy person, and your life revolves around that. So when I read stories like this, my heart goes out to the person, but I also wonder how much of their situation was caused by environmental factors, specifically coming from a culture of clinical diagnosis and pharmacology. Had I been raised by different people in a different environment, I'd be taking lots of drugs and probably would have a few hospital stays under my belt. I would probably see myself as a crazy person and have a hard time getting work and supporting myself. Instead, I'm an extremely high-functioning porn and work addict who suspects he has serious mental infirmities. I could deal with them, but it would require the full focus of my time and energies for years to do, and who knows how it'd turn out? Not sure that's better.

64 points by thamer 17y ago

Highly recommended read, just to remember that people like John are out there. It is an amazing story. The more I think about it, the more I am amazed at the variety and magnitude of problems people face in their lives. I don't want to sound sympathetic. I don't know what to write. I should not have started writing this.

michael_dorfman 17y ago
It is an amazing story-- although I wish the headline was more cognizant of the near-infinite variety of experience that you mention. "Crazy" isn't always noisy; sometimes it is quiet...

geuis 17y ago

It seems like the story was cut short. It ends with "That would mess things up" and it seems like this story should go on a lot more.

jimbokun 17y ago
I found myself expecting a happy or at least somewhat redeeming ending. There was none. I suppose that reflects the reality of this man's life.
- TrevorJ 17y ago
  The happy part is in the bio at the bottom where it say he holds a white collar job at a firm. Wow. When I grumble to myself about my ADHD again I am going to remember this man and realize what TRUE courage is.
  - dimitar 17y ago
    Have you been diagnosed? Do you deal with it?
  - zandorg 17y ago
    I recently learned that the general view is 'Helping you back to work' for people with mental health disorders. But if you haven't already got a career when you become ill, it's virtually impossible to get a paying job - especially in computing. And that's something I'm trying to publicise and prevent.
    - blueben 17y ago
      I don't believe conditions like this are often sudden so much as a long time coming. Even folks with young adult onset bipolar disorder often have hints throughout their lives. That would suggest that it's not necessarily being afflicted that determines whether you develop a career.
- dimitar 17y ago
  There is a comment from his wife below the article: http://www.moreintelligentlife.com/story/being-crazy-noisy#comment-10131 http://www.moreintelligentlife.com/story/being-crazy-noisy#c... my husband shows that it is possible to have a seemingly devastating diagnosis like schizoaffective disorder or schizophrenia, but to lead a productive, and perhaps even happy life.

tarkin2 17y ago

I found the part when he said he was not surprised that he was failing art class interesting--not surprised because he knows he's a failure, knows this because his voices tell him this. The rhythm, the constant beat, of his negative voices seem to have rendered him unable to think rationally, to ask for proof of his assumed--all encompassing--failure, or to ever act in a positive way, and then to one day disprove his assumed--all encompassing--failure. And the latter causes a self-fulfilling prophesy, which builds up more proof of his failure, and thus gets stronger and stronger.

raju 17y ago

A very insightful comment on the article [http://www.moreintelligentlife.com/story/being-crazy-noisy#comment-10132 http://www.moreintelligentlife.com/story/being-crazy-noisy#c...] - And I quote - "Not only I found the article very interesting, but the thing that struck me the most was its utter lucidity. How can one be in so much turmoil and yet be able to write such beautiful as well as clear, concise, and penetrating prose? The answer is, one can, and maybe the moral of the article is that one should not ask this question in the first place. Better still, perhaps the 'crazier' we are, the more lucid we are and that in itself can be the bane of our noisy lives."

sili 17y ago

Great article. I have never looked to much into disorders like that and always thought that hearing voices that tell you to "kill yourself" is more of a popular myth. I though that one would usually hear just random things. Thank you for dispelling this for me. The guy also shows what it really means to overcome difficulties. HN related, the brain is a very complex "computer" with its own bugs.

blueben 17y ago
A number of neurological conditions such as Tourette's, Schizophrenia, and their friends seem to gravitate towards (and feedback on) inappropriate commentary and action. It's probably related to malfunctioning disinhibitionary mechanisms in the brain. The more you don't want to do them and the more inappropriate you know they are, the more frequently they occur and the stronger the urges become. Ever see a disturbing image or hear a highly inappropriate joke or comment and then try to put it out of your mind, only to find that the harder you try to ignore it, the harder it becomes to ignore? The experience is similar.

mr_bill 17y ago

Sock puppet account here to protect privacy... I often wonder how relevant someone's upbringing is in stories like this. I've been depressed and "heard" suicidal and self-hateful thoughts pretty much every day since I was 9 or 10. But I was raised in a small town in the Midwest by parents who would tell me (with the best of intentions) to "suck it up" and "get over it" when I was in a particularly deep or prolonged funk. I pretty much cried every day in 4th grade anytime I was alone due to being overwhelmed by how much I hated myself. Anytime something would happen, I'd think "you should kill yourself." It never occurred to me that I might have a condition or that I was hearing voices. And perhaps I'm not, in the same way that this person is. I have no idea. All I knew was that I felt sad all the time, and others didn't seem to feel the same way. My only conclusion was that I had some weakness or flaw that other kids didn't have. I subconsciously found coping mechanisms. First it was superhero comics and video games. Playing sports seemed to help a good bit, too, though I despised the monotony of it. Eventually, I found online porn, and that became my treatment of choice anytime I felt a funk coming on. This caused a good bit of guilt, though and has made dating difficult. I went out east for college and was suddenly in a community where people like me were "diagnosed" and put on medication. I was surrounded by east-coasters on meds. There was a clinical solution for "being bummed out all the time." I'd never considered that I might have a mental illness that could be treated pharmacologically. I thought about seeing a professional about my situation, but the downsides seemed and still seem pretty immense. Once you're officially diagnosed, your life changes forever. If I was diagnosed as clinically depressed or something more serious like the conditions the original author claims to have, wouldn't I be labeled a crazy person for life? And what if they recommended extensive, unpleasant treatments that would interrupt or seriously hamper my career or personal life? If I test positive for some serious mental illness, would the doctor be obligated to inform the state? My employer? My family? And once you test positive, doesn't that become your identity? You are a crazy person, and your life revolves around that. So when I read stories like this, my heart goes out to the person, but I also wonder how much of their situation was caused by environmental factors, specifically coming from a culture of clinical diagnosis and pharmacology. Had I been raised by different people in a different environment, I'd be taking lots of drugs and probably would have a few hospital stays under my belt. I would probably see myself as a crazy person and have a hard time getting work and supporting myself. Instead, I'm an extremely high-functioning porn and work addict who suspects he has serious mental infirmities. I could deal with them, but it would require the full focus of my time and energies for years to do, and who knows how it'd turn out? Not sure that's better.