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> One step, I think, is to take a weekly holiday from your devices. You have just lost. Denying yourself something is not a viable way to avoid it. (Don't thin

> One step, I think, is to take a weekly holiday from your devices. You have just lost. Denying yourself something is not a viable way to avoid it. (Don't think about elephants.) There are only two solutions here. Either become someone else, change yourself so that you do not crave it any more, or displace it with something else. If you want to be fit, or at least less flabby, the psychologically viable route is to tell yourself "I am the kind of person who does 50 pushups after getting out of bed in the morning." Or, "I am the kind of person who cooks his own low-carb meals." And then actually become that person. If you don't want to stare at your phone in a public place, displace that behaviour with something else. "Instead of mindlessly browsing HN, I'll go talk to that cute chick at the end of the bar." Or even just "I will meditate, I will think about nothing but my breathing while waiting for that coffee." Though that might be even weirder than playing with your smartphone.

pachydermic 13y ago
Sure, but maybe you only have so much willpower to work with (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ego_depletion http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ego_depletion). It's really interesting how it really is just as easy as making a decision, or just telling yourself something, but so many of us fail so often to do that kind of thing. This is something that bothers me deeply. This failure to do what we know we ought to demonstrates the tension which comes from this struggle between thinking we're really in control when we might not be. Interesting conflict there. Definitely worth thinking about - or ignoring entirely. Anyways, that doesn't have any impact on other people doing the phone thing. It's a lot easier to not be nose-deep in your phone when other people are engaging with you. I find that most people settle into the "trance" based on whether other people are on their phones. The people who start the "trance" are often preoccupied or just plain rude. Another facet to this is that we just don't know where this is going. Is it a step forwards or backwards. Hard to say that it looks like a good thing, but many of us didn't grow up with it - what will the story be like in 50 years? None of us has a clue, to be honest. Anyways, I think what it comes down to is the "responsible use" cliche. There are so many constructive things you can do with technology. But here we all are, reading these comments which don't matter and are just random people screaming into the void. Shit.
- spindritf 13y ago
  > maybe you only have so much willpower to work with That's one of the reasons why simply denying yourself won't work. Hence the trick. It takes no willpower to do pushups for someone who does pushups. That's just who he is. Now, go be that person. Or, pretend you are. I'm sure you've seen some movie where the guy works out every morning? Ocean's Twelve, Fracture, whatever. Pretend to be him. > It's a lot easier to not be nose-deep in your phone when other people are engaging with you. You have no control over what other people do. But you have a nearly total control over what you do. Then go engage with someone nose-deep in their phone. Here's the thing, whatever crazy app they have, it's not that interesting. In fact, the interaction with their phone brings so little value that you don't even need to chat them up, just looking at someone for three seconds will likely grab their attention.
badman_ting 13y ago
As right as you are, routine and habit play a part here. Intentionally leaving the phone behind at times will force you to displace the phone behavior with something else during the times you are waiting. That way, in the future, it's easier to do. But still, I am not too sure about all this. Obviously if you are with friends or loved ones you should keep the phone in your pocket, but I can't really say for sure that staring out a window while waiting for something is any better than checking Twitter.
marcosdumay 13y ago
Denying yourself something is an effective way of getting out of an addiction. If the problem with phones is indeed addiction, that's the way to do it. It works because the more you avoid doing something, it gets easier to not do it again. If you force yourself not to use the phone for a while (even if by extreme means), it becomes easier to just say no at other times. That is, (it's worth repeating) if the problem is really addiction.

pachydermic 13y ago

Sure, but maybe you only have so much willpower to work with (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ego_depletion http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ego_depletion). It's really interesting how it really is just as easy as making a decision, or just telling yourself something, but so many of us fail so often to do that kind of thing. This is something that bothers me deeply. This failure to do what we know we ought to demonstrates the tension which comes from this struggle between thinking we're really in control when we might not be. Interesting conflict there. Definitely worth thinking about - or ignoring entirely. Anyways, that doesn't have any impact on other people doing the phone thing. It's a lot easier to not be nose-deep in your phone when other people are engaging with you. I find that most people settle into the "trance" based on whether other people are on their phones. The people who start the "trance" are often preoccupied or just plain rude. Another facet to this is that we just don't know where this is going. Is it a step forwards or backwards. Hard to say that it looks like a good thing, but many of us didn't grow up with it - what will the story be like in 50 years? None of us has a clue, to be honest. Anyways, I think what it comes down to is the "responsible use" cliche. There are so many constructive things you can do with technology. But here we all are, reading these comments which don't matter and are just random people screaming into the void. Shit.

spindritf 13y ago
> maybe you only have so much willpower to work with That's one of the reasons why simply denying yourself won't work. Hence the trick. It takes no willpower to do pushups for someone who does pushups. That's just who he is. Now, go be that person. Or, pretend you are. I'm sure you've seen some movie where the guy works out every morning? Ocean's Twelve, Fracture, whatever. Pretend to be him. > It's a lot easier to not be nose-deep in your phone when other people are engaging with you. You have no control over what other people do. But you have a nearly total control over what you do. Then go engage with someone nose-deep in their phone. Here's the thing, whatever crazy app they have, it's not that interesting. In fact, the interaction with their phone brings so little value that you don't even need to chat them up, just looking at someone for three seconds will likely grab their attention.

badman_ting 13y ago

As right as you are, routine and habit play a part here. Intentionally leaving the phone behind at times will force you to displace the phone behavior with something else during the times you are waiting. That way, in the future, it's easier to do. But still, I am not too sure about all this. Obviously if you are with friends or loved ones you should keep the phone in your pocket, but I can't really say for sure that staring out a window while waiting for something is any better than checking Twitter.

marcosdumay 13y ago

Denying yourself something is an effective way of getting out of an addiction. If the problem with phones is indeed addiction, that's the way to do it. It works because the more you avoid doing something, it gets easier to not do it again. If you force yourself not to use the phone for a while (even if by extreme means), it becomes easier to just say no at other times. That is, (it's worth repeating) if the problem is really addiction.