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Giving children a voice. Being a Heat Start teacher I can tell you that it is EXTREMELY important. Instead of just making sounds or cry when Billy kicked or pu

by baldfat 13y ago

Giving children a voice. Being a Heat Start teacher I can tell you that it is EXTREMELY important. Instead of just making sounds or cry when Billy kicked or pushed him the child says, "Stop I don't like that." Changes a person from being a victim to being an advocate for themselves. If everyone could learn how to express their emotions into words we would never have Jerry Springer Show. Words are better than fists.

GrinningFool 13y ago
This - and the article itself - doesn't seem to address the other half of that. "Stop I don't like that." "Too bad." Shove. "Stop I don't like it when you yell at me." "TOO BAD! NEXT TIME DON'T DO SOMETHING TO DESERVE IT!" A child can't control teh reaction to advocating for himself. And if he does so and the reaction is negative, he will quickly learn not to do so. I don't have a solution, but I know that simply teaching this more appropriate method of self-advocacy isn't enough. And depending on the circumstances, it can easily backfire.
- misuba 13y ago
  Any half-decent emotional curriculum will teach that you can't control other people's emotions. (And that there's a lot you can't know for sure about those emotions - which kids are shown as picking up in the article.)
LyndsySimon 13y ago
> Words are better than fists. This is truth - but not an absolute. When someone is using their fists against you, no words are going to protect you. While I do believe our society resorts to violence too quickly, there is a time and a place for the use of force, and I fear that we're swinging too far in the other direction.
- tesseractive 13y ago
  I'm not sure I understand how we can simultaneously be resorting to violence too quickly and also swinging too far in the other direction. I could be mistaken, but the former sure seems like the more pressing problem in practice. Are there advocates of taking it too far in the other direction? Of course, but there are advocates of just about everything. I would tend to save my worries regarding those advocates until the problem of resorting to violence too quickly recedes some, and the opposite problem becomes more prevalent outside of mere advocacy.
  - LyndsySimon 13y ago
    > I'm not sure I understand how we can simultaneously be resorting to violence too quickly and also swinging too far in the other direction. A generation ago, many conflicts in elementary through high school - especially between boys - were solved by physical confrontation. Two generations ago, it wouldn't have been uncommon for young adult men to come to blows. In neither of these cases would law enforcement have even been considered. During my own time in public school, I saw the attitude change from "don't start a fight" to "if you get into a fight, both parties will be punished". > I could be mistaken, but the former sure seems like the more pressing problem in practice. Aggressive personalities are being shunned in our culture. Being "Alpha" is being construed as a negative thing, as a deficiency in some set of social skills that are presumably teachable. > Are there advocates of taking it too far in the other direction? Of course, but there are advocates of just about everything. I would tend to save my worries regarding those advocates until the problem of resorting to violence too quickly recedes some, and the opposite problem becomes more prevalent outside of mere advocacy. We're teaching our children that using violence represents a failure. I strongly believe the employing violence in defense of self or of a third party is entirely appropriate and in some cases the only morally coherent response to the violent aggression of others. Instead, we should be showing our children how to form a rational basis for their actions and to consider their emotional responses in light of that.

by baldfat 13y ago

GrinningFool 13y ago

This - and the article itself - doesn't seem to address the other half of that. "Stop I don't like that." "Too bad." Shove. "Stop I don't like it when you yell at me." "TOO BAD! NEXT TIME DON'T DO SOMETHING TO DESERVE IT!" A child can't control teh reaction to advocating for himself. And if he does so and the reaction is negative, he will quickly learn not to do so. I don't have a solution, but I know that simply teaching this more appropriate method of self-advocacy isn't enough. And depending on the circumstances, it can easily backfire.

misuba 13y ago
Any half-decent emotional curriculum will teach that you can't control other people's emotions. (And that there's a lot you can't know for sure about those emotions - which kids are shown as picking up in the article.)

LyndsySimon 13y ago

> Words are better than fists. This is truth - but not an absolute. When someone is using their fists against you, no words are going to protect you. While I do believe our society resorts to violence too quickly, there is a time and a place for the use of force, and I fear that we're swinging too far in the other direction.

tesseractive 13y ago
I'm not sure I understand how we can simultaneously be resorting to violence too quickly and also swinging too far in the other direction. I could be mistaken, but the former sure seems like the more pressing problem in practice. Are there advocates of taking it too far in the other direction? Of course, but there are advocates of just about everything. I would tend to save my worries regarding those advocates until the problem of resorting to violence too quickly recedes some, and the opposite problem becomes more prevalent outside of mere advocacy.
- LyndsySimon 13y ago
  > I'm not sure I understand how we can simultaneously be resorting to violence too quickly and also swinging too far in the other direction. A generation ago, many conflicts in elementary through high school - especially between boys - were solved by physical confrontation. Two generations ago, it wouldn't have been uncommon for young adult men to come to blows. In neither of these cases would law enforcement have even been considered. During my own time in public school, I saw the attitude change from "don't start a fight" to "if you get into a fight, both parties will be punished". > I could be mistaken, but the former sure seems like the more pressing problem in practice. Aggressive personalities are being shunned in our culture. Being "Alpha" is being construed as a negative thing, as a deficiency in some set of social skills that are presumably teachable. > Are there advocates of taking it too far in the other direction? Of course, but there are advocates of just about everything. I would tend to save my worries regarding those advocates until the problem of resorting to violence too quickly recedes some, and the opposite problem becomes more prevalent outside of mere advocacy. We're teaching our children that using violence represents a failure. I strongly believe the employing violence in defense of self or of a third party is entirely appropriate and in some cases the only morally coherent response to the violent aggression of others. Instead, we should be showing our children how to form a rational basis for their actions and to consider their emotional responses in light of that.