5 ms·

Ten Tips For A Slightly Less Awful Resume

50 points by Neoryder 19y ago

edw519 19y ago
Now let's see if I got this right...I can either a. prepare paperwork that completely neutralizes my differentiating assets just to satisfy the automated processes of mindless drones OR b. start my own business. DYHAQFM?
- jey 19y ago
  "a. prepare paperwork that completely neutralizes my differentiating assets just to satisfy the automated processes of mindless drones" Nah, if you've got differentiating assets, list/show them! Yegge is just saying that people without any differentiating assets cover for that by filling their resumes with buzzwords and buzzphrases. Communicating your actual accomplishments clearly and succinctly should be sufficient.
- Neoryder 19y ago
  DYHAQFM, excuse my ignorance but what does this mean? Do You Have A __ __?
  - edw519 19y ago
    from the article... the time honored end-of-interview transmission code: DYHAQFM? ("Do you have any questions for me?")
    - Neoryder 19y ago
      thanks , I missed that!
  - adnam 19y ago
    RTFA ... SCNR
dpapathanasiou 19y ago
If he wants to see resumes with fewer buzzwords, then he should take ownership of the screening function. At too many big companies, HR is used to screen, and all they know how to do is match buzzwords. And that's just for starters (there's more to say on the topic of why job search is broken). Employers need to realize the system is broken largely because of what they demand from candidates.
- karzeem 19y ago
  It's a shame that at a lot of big companies, HR is the division with the least intelligent employees. At most places, it's not the kind of job that attracts the best and brightest.
- adnam 19y ago
  The best CV I ever got listed "cake decorating in the form of ski-slopes (as well as the tradiotional style)" in the interests section.
brlewis 19y ago
This is a funny and well-written essay on a pedestrian topic. I wish he had been this pithy in the sheep-wolves essay, which I think has an important meaning that I can only guess at.
- imgabe 19y ago
  It took me a few minutes to realize which essay you were talking about, because that's the only essay I haven't yet read all the way through; not for a lack of trying. Steve Yegge is the James Joyce of programming blogs, and that post is his Finnegan's Wake.
jimbokun 19y ago
Best quote: ""Lead" is ... the present-tense verb meaning "not doing any coding""
nanijoe 19y ago
I thought the whole point of this website (YC), was so you would never have to write another resume.
- Neoryder 19y ago
  Yep, But we dream of the day when we are deluged with resume from people who would like us to hire them. This gives us a little idea of how to filter the better ones at least. Think of this as a guide to help us make the process of scanning resumes just a little bit more manageable. :-)
- gleb 19y ago
  You still have to write it, it's just called Executive Summary ;-)
indie01 19y ago
A blogspot-templated blog; how cute. I always find it slightly humorous when people who profess to be "programming gurus" use something like a blogspot (or WordPress or MoveableType) template to dispense their expert programming guru knowledge. FTA: "You listed HTML under programming languages, didn't you? Argh!" IMHO, there's absolutely nothing wrong with listing HTML on one's resume, especially if one actually knows the context and how to use HTML to do something besides make text (for example, render) bold or italic. Plain text resumes can indeed work to get information across, but if ever there were a way to demonstrate actual ability to code electronically, a resume coded in HTML would be that way. Resumes are about presentation. HTML, coupled with CSS, is a valuable way to demonstrate ability to present plain text. Actually, thinking about it, most programming is essentially about presenting or rendering or parsing plain text, is it not? I would rather see somebody's hand-coded text/HTML resume than a plain-text text/text resume with (undemonstrative) HTML listed as a skill. More on why job search is broken (and part of my startup philosophy): There is a lot to be said for the meaning of irony when companies who claim to want creative and "out of the box" thinkers request that potential employees visit their website in order to submit the info on their resumes via little, pre-formatted text boxes.
- anamax 19y ago
  > Resumes are about presentation. Actually, they're not. Resumes are communication, specifically a request with argument. Some of that argument is demonstrating good judgement, knowing that everything isn't a nail (even if you're a hammer swinger). > HTML, coupled with CSS, is a valuable way to demonstrate ability to present plain text. Valuable? It's not the least efficient way to present plain text, but the overhead didn't buy anything.
- neilc 19y ago
  > A blogspot-templated blog; how cute. What's wrong with using Blogspot? Surely the important point is the message, not the medium. > IMHO, there's absolutely nothing wrong with listing HTML on one's resume You managed to miss the point entirely: HTML is not a programming language.
- brlewis 19y ago
  Thank you for exposing this Steve Yegge fellow for what he really is. I have to confess he had me fooled into thinking he was some kind of "programming guru" just because he ported Rails to JavaScript/Rhino. I hadn't noticed the blogspot template. Thanks for setting me straight.
Goladus 19y ago
Definitely note that point he made about it being his experience with the software industry. Other areas you often have no f-ing clue what format is expected. Sometimes application processes are bizarrely complex. Cornell, for example, lets you apply to multiple positions, and lets you update your resume and cover letter, but doesn't tell you what exactly gets sent to the relevant parties. That is, it's not exactly clear whether you're allowed one authoritative version, or if your current 'live' resume gets forwarded to the reviewers when you click submit. At least, that's what it was like a year ago. A lot of places just say "email a resume" and don't specify whether they mean send an "email resume" or an "email with a word doc attached" or an "email with a text resume attached" or "html-email" or "email with html attachment" or "pdf." You just have to guess. I typically would send a rich text, informal email cover letter with a few lines, then I'd attach the resume as html and word doc.
geebee 19y ago
This is a really great post, and Steve Yegge is always fun to read. I think that this post reveals how programmers are in the process of speciating - ie., diverging into seperate groups that are no longer capable of reproducing, resulting in different and incompatible branches of an evolutionary tree. Why? Because resume that Steve recommends will keep you from getting a job doing java for the accounts recievable department of a big corp, and the resume that will get you that big corp java job will prevent you from getting an interview with Steve. Big corps are, first and foremost, looking for a pliable, good natured person who will follow directions and largely do as told. Within that context, they'd like as much talent as they can get, but they aren't willing to break the obedience requirement to get it. Negative indicators for a big corp are: contributions to open source projects, an interesting an opinionated blog, microISV work, startup experience, substantial side work, passion for (or borderline obsession with) "obscure" programming languages (like LISP, ruby, smalltalk...) These things show that you might be trouble. Positive indicators for bigcorp are: buzzword bingo resumes, weasel words, long lists of mainstream programming languages, databases and operating systems (like Java, C#, VB, MSSQL...), vendor certification in the above list. These things suggest to the big corp that you'll play their game the way they like it played. It turns out that you can't really cover both bases, which is why I call this speciation. We're rapidly moving toward a point where these two groups will no longer be able to interact or cross-pollinate. You can't be a bigcorp programmer and an innovative hacker at the same time, any more than you can be a sea cucumber and a clownfish the same time. One excludes the other. Fortunately, you get to choose - and you can change.

50 points by Neoryder 19y ago

Now let's see if I got this right...I can either a. prepare paperwork that completely neutralizes my differentiating assets just to satisfy the automated processes of mindless drones OR b. start my own business. DYHAQFM?

jey 19y ago
"a. prepare paperwork that completely neutralizes my differentiating assets just to satisfy the automated processes of mindless drones" Nah, if you've got differentiating assets, list/show them! Yegge is just saying that people without any differentiating assets cover for that by filling their resumes with buzzwords and buzzphrases. Communicating your actual accomplishments clearly and succinctly should be sufficient.
Neoryder 19y ago
DYHAQFM, excuse my ignorance but what does this mean? Do You Have A __ __?
- edw519 19y ago
  from the article... the time honored end-of-interview transmission code: DYHAQFM? ("Do you have any questions for me?")
  - Neoryder 19y ago
    thanks , I missed that!
- adnam 19y ago
  RTFA ... SCNR

dpapathanasiou 19y ago

If he wants to see resumes with fewer buzzwords, then he should take ownership of the screening function. At too many big companies, HR is used to screen, and all they know how to do is match buzzwords. And that's just for starters (there's more to say on the topic of why job search is broken). Employers need to realize the system is broken largely because of what they demand from candidates.

karzeem 19y ago
It's a shame that at a lot of big companies, HR is the division with the least intelligent employees. At most places, it's not the kind of job that attracts the best and brightest.
adnam 19y ago
The best CV I ever got listed "cake decorating in the form of ski-slopes (as well as the tradiotional style)" in the interests section.

brlewis 19y ago

This is a funny and well-written essay on a pedestrian topic. I wish he had been this pithy in the sheep-wolves essay, which I think has an important meaning that I can only guess at.

imgabe 19y ago
It took me a few minutes to realize which essay you were talking about, because that's the only essay I haven't yet read all the way through; not for a lack of trying. Steve Yegge is the James Joyce of programming blogs, and that post is his Finnegan's Wake.

jimbokun 19y ago

Best quote: ""Lead" is ... the present-tense verb meaning "not doing any coding""

nanijoe 19y ago

I thought the whole point of this website (YC), was so you would never have to write another resume.

Neoryder 19y ago
Yep, But we dream of the day when we are deluged with resume from people who would like us to hire them. This gives us a little idea of how to filter the better ones at least. Think of this as a guide to help us make the process of scanning resumes just a little bit more manageable. :-)
gleb 19y ago
You still have to write it, it's just called Executive Summary ;-)

indie01 19y ago

A blogspot-templated blog; how cute. I always find it slightly humorous when people who profess to be "programming gurus" use something like a blogspot (or WordPress or MoveableType) template to dispense their expert programming guru knowledge. FTA: "You listed HTML under programming languages, didn't you? Argh!" IMHO, there's absolutely nothing wrong with listing HTML on one's resume, especially if one actually knows the context and how to use HTML to do something besides make text (for example, render) bold or italic. Plain text resumes can indeed work to get information across, but if ever there were a way to demonstrate actual ability to code electronically, a resume coded in HTML would be that way. Resumes are about presentation. HTML, coupled with CSS, is a valuable way to demonstrate ability to present plain text. Actually, thinking about it, most programming is essentially about presenting or rendering or parsing plain text, is it not? I would rather see somebody's hand-coded text/HTML resume than a plain-text text/text resume with (undemonstrative) HTML listed as a skill. More on why job search is broken (and part of my startup philosophy): There is a lot to be said for the meaning of irony when companies who claim to want creative and "out of the box" thinkers request that potential employees visit their website in order to submit the info on their resumes via little, pre-formatted text boxes.

anamax 19y ago
> Resumes are about presentation. Actually, they're not. Resumes are communication, specifically a request with argument. Some of that argument is demonstrating good judgement, knowing that everything isn't a nail (even if you're a hammer swinger). > HTML, coupled with CSS, is a valuable way to demonstrate ability to present plain text. Valuable? It's not the least efficient way to present plain text, but the overhead didn't buy anything.
neilc 19y ago
> A blogspot-templated blog; how cute. What's wrong with using Blogspot? Surely the important point is the message, not the medium. > IMHO, there's absolutely nothing wrong with listing HTML on one's resume You managed to miss the point entirely: HTML is not a programming language.
brlewis 19y ago
Thank you for exposing this Steve Yegge fellow for what he really is. I have to confess he had me fooled into thinking he was some kind of "programming guru" just because he ported Rails to JavaScript/Rhino. I hadn't noticed the blogspot template. Thanks for setting me straight.

Goladus 19y ago

Definitely note that point he made about it being his experience with the software industry. Other areas you often have no f-ing clue what format is expected. Sometimes application processes are bizarrely complex. Cornell, for example, lets you apply to multiple positions, and lets you update your resume and cover letter, but doesn't tell you what exactly gets sent to the relevant parties. That is, it's not exactly clear whether you're allowed one authoritative version, or if your current 'live' resume gets forwarded to the reviewers when you click submit. At least, that's what it was like a year ago. A lot of places just say "email a resume" and don't specify whether they mean send an "email resume" or an "email with a word doc attached" or an "email with a text resume attached" or "html-email" or "email with html attachment" or "pdf." You just have to guess. I typically would send a rich text, informal email cover letter with a few lines, then I'd attach the resume as html and word doc.

geebee 19y ago

This is a really great post, and Steve Yegge is always fun to read. I think that this post reveals how programmers are in the process of speciating - ie., diverging into seperate groups that are no longer capable of reproducing, resulting in different and incompatible branches of an evolutionary tree. Why? Because resume that Steve recommends will keep you from getting a job doing java for the accounts recievable department of a big corp, and the resume that will get you that big corp java job will prevent you from getting an interview with Steve. Big corps are, first and foremost, looking for a pliable, good natured person who will follow directions and largely do as told. Within that context, they'd like as much talent as they can get, but they aren't willing to break the obedience requirement to get it. Negative indicators for a big corp are: contributions to open source projects, an interesting an opinionated blog, microISV work, startup experience, substantial side work, passion for (or borderline obsession with) "obscure" programming languages (like LISP, ruby, smalltalk...) These things show that you might be trouble. Positive indicators for bigcorp are: buzzword bingo resumes, weasel words, long lists of mainstream programming languages, databases and operating systems (like Java, C#, VB, MSSQL...), vendor certification in the above list. These things suggest to the big corp that you'll play their game the way they like it played. It turns out that you can't really cover both bases, which is why I call this speciation. We're rapidly moving toward a point where these two groups will no longer be able to interact or cross-pollinate. You can't be a bigcorp programmer and an innovative hacker at the same time, any more than you can be a sea cucumber and a clownfish the same time. One excludes the other. Fortunately, you get to choose - and you can change.