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tptacek, I'm sure you have a compelling viewpoint both as someone who has to manage an entire company and as someone who is older and wiser than I am (I'm not s
by olympus 13y ago
tptacek, I'm sure you have a compelling viewpoint both as someone who has to manage an entire company and as someone who is older and wiser than I am (I'm not sure if you have kids of your own). Would you care to expand on why you don't think spanking is an acceptable form of discipline?
To clarify, I only recommend open palm spanking. Not switches/lashes/paddles/belts. It doesn't bruise, only stings for a few seconds, and in my opinion is actually more humane than sticking your kid in solitary confinement. I don't see it as a problem as long as it is administered in moderation (like most things).
- revelation 13y agoApart from the fact that it is illegal: your kid will resent you. Sure, they might grow up all fine, but do not think that resentment will ever go away.
- epochwolf 13y agoReally? I was spanked in this manner twice (that I remember) and I don't resent my parents.
- tptacek 13y agoI was spanked and I love my parents. My approval ratings with my children don't influence whether I'm willing to hit them.
- epochwolf 13y agoApologies, let me clarify. I'm not trying to justify spanking. I'm arguing that the occasional spanking from loving parents doesn't cause the horricific long term psychological damage everyone seems to think it does. A couple of spankings over an entire childhood, while an arguably poor parental decision, does not equate to child abuse. Edit: softer tone and spelling
- tptacek 13y agoAdults should not hit children. (Also: Dave and Jeremy do more managing than I do, although I have more impact on hiring than they do; We have two kids, 13 and 11 about to be 14 and 12.)
- ethnt 13y agoWe don’t allow adults to strike one another in anger or as punishment for a mistake or wrongdoing. We don’t allow children to hit each other — indeed, we actively discourage it. Then why is it okay for an adult to hit a child?
- olympus 13y agoYours is perhaps the best argument I've ever heard against corporal punishment. I've never accepted the "spanking causes trauma" argument since any form of discipline will do that if administered inappropriately. I do have a vendetta against double standards though, and I appreciate you changing my perspective.
- scott_karana 13y agoI agree with you, but what alternatives does that leave us with? Economic or "jail" punishments aren't suitable in many cases when it comes to kids.
- tom_b 13y agoTo answer your question, in some training/reinforcement circles, the answer to the question of what to do when what behavior you are seeking doesn't occur is nothing at all. You might be interested in checking out: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinforcement https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinforcement It covers the types of operant conditioning with definitions. From this article, you can blast off into tons of reading. Read carefully - these are holy topics to some writers and they will carefully shape their message to support their viewpoints.
- scott_karana 13y agoI'm not entirely sure how that relates to the grandparent's comment about treating children like adults. ;)