4 ms·

You don't have to be married to be in a committed relationship. A large percent of couples (> 30%) in Scandinavian countries for example never enter into a marr

You don't have to be married to be in a committed relationship. A large percent of couples (> 30%) in Scandinavian countries for example never enter into a marriage, or people might marry 5, 6, 7, 8 years after they're first together. In that sense the marriage is a capstone, but there is no difference between that couple and a couple that got married right away and have been together for 8 years.

fusiongyro 14y ago
What's this, proof by Sweden? :) This odd collection of facts seems wholly disconnected from the content of the article.
- purplelobster 14y ago
  The point being that he's confusing a committed relationship with having a marriage certificate. In Europe, of couples with children, > 30% are cohabiting. In Iceland it's > 60%. Do you suggest that 60% of cohabiting Icelanders are unhappy because they don't have a marriage certificate on hand?
  - fusiongyro 14y ago
    I suggest that American results are more pertinent to Americans than European results are, and vice-versa. Did you see this article from a few days ago? http://www.psmag.com/magazines/pacific-standard-cover-story/joe-henrich-weird-ultimatum-game-shaking-up-psychology-economics-53135/ http://www.psmag.com/magazines/pacific-standard-cover-story/...
pbhjpbhj 14y ago
>there is no difference between that couple and a couple that got married right away and have been together for 8 years // Anything to back up that assertion?
- Zimahl 14y ago
  I don't think he needs to back that up. I mean there isn't a whole lot of difference between an amorous, unmarried couple who cohabitates together or an amorous, married couple who cohabitates together. In the US, other than a document from the state you were married in, there's just about zero difference, other than societal views. (BTW, I know my above doesn't apply to homosexual couples. I'm purposely ignoring it right now because it doesn't suit my explanation. Those are issues that need to be resolved by SCOTUS.)
  - jacoblyles 14y ago
    Maybe societal views and expectations are an important factor in stability.
  - pbhjpbhj 14y ago
    What about vows? In the UK, at least, it's normal for a wedding to include vows - promises if you will - of how the couple will devote themselves to one another, sacrifice for one another, et cetera. The institution of marriage has at it's centre the continuation of family whilst co-habitation does not. Marriage is also a lifelong commitment, co-habitation is not. It's maybe like saying there's no difference between soldiers who've vowed to serve and protect people and if necessary lay down their lives doing so and hired mercenaries who're doing a protection detail.
danielweber 14y ago
Sociologists study the difference between cohabitation and marriage. Here's one paper that's recently been making the rounds among economists: http://people.ku.edu/~dginther/working%20papers/Marriage_specialization_man.pdf http://people.ku.edu/~dginther/working%20papers/Marriage_spe...
refurb 14y ago
In that sense the marriage is a capstone, but there is no difference between that couple and a couple that got married right away and have been together for 8 years. I always laugh when I hear this. People also say "Marriage is just a piece of paper." My answer is "tell that to judge when you want to get out of a marriage." Does a marriage certificate make your relationship more serious? No. Are you entering into a legal contract when you get married? Yes.
- purplelobster 14y ago
  Does that legal contract affect your happiness? In general, no. If your culture tells you so, perhaps.

fusiongyro 14y ago

What's this, proof by Sweden? :) This odd collection of facts seems wholly disconnected from the content of the article.

purplelobster 14y ago
The point being that he's confusing a committed relationship with having a marriage certificate. In Europe, of couples with children, > 30% are cohabiting. In Iceland it's > 60%. Do you suggest that 60% of cohabiting Icelanders are unhappy because they don't have a marriage certificate on hand?
- fusiongyro 14y ago
  I suggest that American results are more pertinent to Americans than European results are, and vice-versa. Did you see this article from a few days ago? http://www.psmag.com/magazines/pacific-standard-cover-story/joe-henrich-weird-ultimatum-game-shaking-up-psychology-economics-53135/ http://www.psmag.com/magazines/pacific-standard-cover-story/...

pbhjpbhj 14y ago

>there is no difference between that couple and a couple that got married right away and have been together for 8 years // Anything to back up that assertion?

Zimahl 14y ago
I don't think he needs to back that up. I mean there isn't a whole lot of difference between an amorous, unmarried couple who cohabitates together or an amorous, married couple who cohabitates together. In the US, other than a document from the state you were married in, there's just about zero difference, other than societal views. (BTW, I know my above doesn't apply to homosexual couples. I'm purposely ignoring it right now because it doesn't suit my explanation. Those are issues that need to be resolved by SCOTUS.)
- jacoblyles 14y ago
  Maybe societal views and expectations are an important factor in stability.
- pbhjpbhj 14y ago
  What about vows? In the UK, at least, it's normal for a wedding to include vows - promises if you will - of how the couple will devote themselves to one another, sacrifice for one another, et cetera. The institution of marriage has at it's centre the continuation of family whilst co-habitation does not. Marriage is also a lifelong commitment, co-habitation is not. It's maybe like saying there's no difference between soldiers who've vowed to serve and protect people and if necessary lay down their lives doing so and hired mercenaries who're doing a protection detail.

danielweber 14y ago

Sociologists study the difference between cohabitation and marriage. Here's one paper that's recently been making the rounds among economists: http://people.ku.edu/~dginther/working%20papers/Marriage_specialization_man.pdf http://people.ku.edu/~dginther/working%20papers/Marriage_spe...

refurb 14y ago

In that sense the marriage is a capstone, but there is no difference between that couple and a couple that got married right away and have been together for 8 years. I always laugh when I hear this. People also say "Marriage is just a piece of paper." My answer is "tell that to judge when you want to get out of a marriage." Does a marriage certificate make your relationship more serious? No. Are you entering into a legal contract when you get married? Yes.

purplelobster 14y ago
Does that legal contract affect your happiness? In general, no. If your culture tells you so, perhaps.