4 ms·

Yes, every teacher has experienced this. A lot of teachers have become jaded and will assume every student who brings this up is a liar and a cheat. The probl

Yes, every teacher has experienced this. A lot of teachers have become jaded and will assume every student who brings this up is a liar and a cheat. The problem though is that although the majority of the cases are made up to get out of exams or assignments, a small number aren't. These students, in addition to losing their beloved relative then can become very distraught to find themselves unexpectedly saddled with a false accusation of being a liar. Because of this, when I taught, I would nod and sympathize, then say that because there had been some abuse of this in the past, they could have an extension or such only if they provided an actual published obituary from a newspaper or funeral home. Some other teachers use another method, of having a certain number of exams or assignments that can be dropped without penalty. Of course what often happens in those cases is students drop an early exam, and then later claim injustice at not getting an extra one for the deceased grandparent.

1123581321 14y ago
My senior year of college I wrote to the provost expecting a close relative would die close to my exams. His sympathy was immediate, and separately from that, an obituary or other certificate would set the incomplete/rescheduling machinery in motion. He did not apologize or explain, so by presenting his personal sympathy and his professional administration of a system he was able to protect both the school's expectations and an emotional, stressed student. I think this is the best approach.
- Evbn 14y ago
  Bingo. This was even covered in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, of all places
mblake 14y ago
Sadly I have experienced this. I was in mourning after losing a relative and refused to participate in an overtly cheerful activity.Not only was I reprimanded for it, but later heard the professor felt the need to complain to other people as well about yet another kid 'whos grandma had died'. It just so happened that my grandma had not died, nor would have I cared much if she would've had, but a much more cared for relative. Thankfully it was quite a lot of years ago.
- FooBarWidget 14y ago
  Isn't it quite easy to present proof that a relative has really died?
  - dsr_ 14y ago
    No, generally not in the timeframe between being notified and the funeral. There may be an announcement in a local newspaper -- local to your deceased relative -- but this is as likely to be after the funeral as before.
    - pc86 14y ago
      I don't think there's an issue with saying "you're getting a 0 on the exam until you furnish proof of death and proof of relation, at which point you can (re)take the exam." Surely even the most bureaucratic university would have some mechanism in place to allow a student to take an exam, even a final, later than planned (or even the next semester?)
      - ams6110 14y ago
        yes, it's called an Incomplete.
  - Spooky23 14y ago
    It really depends. Many people, especially poor folks, don't do obituaries, because they can be expensive. Original death certificates are always in high demand, and people tend to not realize that they need dozens of them -- proving to a teacher that grandma died is low priority. There are other cultural factors as well. Some religions call for immediate burial, so publication of the obituary will likely lag the student's absence. Another factor to consider is that fall exam times line up with the holiday season, which also happens to be a time of the year when death rates spike. Given all of the other accommodations that colleges give students, I don't see the big deal here. When I was in school, I was able to get incompletes to finish coursework or take exams late for various reasons. I had friends who got ADD diagnoses from doc-in-the-box places because they found taking exams in lecture centers with tiny desks impossible to deal with. If a C student gets an extra 3 days to study, the outcome is likely the same as it would have been.

1123581321 14y ago

My senior year of college I wrote to the provost expecting a close relative would die close to my exams. His sympathy was immediate, and separately from that, an obituary or other certificate would set the incomplete/rescheduling machinery in motion. He did not apologize or explain, so by presenting his personal sympathy and his professional administration of a system he was able to protect both the school's expectations and an emotional, stressed student. I think this is the best approach.

Evbn 14y ago
Bingo. This was even covered in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, of all places

mblake 14y ago

Sadly I have experienced this. I was in mourning after losing a relative and refused to participate in an overtly cheerful activity.Not only was I reprimanded for it, but later heard the professor felt the need to complain to other people as well about yet another kid 'whos grandma had died'. It just so happened that my grandma had not died, nor would have I cared much if she would've had, but a much more cared for relative. Thankfully it was quite a lot of years ago.

FooBarWidget 14y ago
Isn't it quite easy to present proof that a relative has really died?
- dsr_ 14y ago
  No, generally not in the timeframe between being notified and the funeral. There may be an announcement in a local newspaper -- local to your deceased relative -- but this is as likely to be after the funeral as before.
  - pc86 14y ago
    I don't think there's an issue with saying "you're getting a 0 on the exam until you furnish proof of death and proof of relation, at which point you can (re)take the exam." Surely even the most bureaucratic university would have some mechanism in place to allow a student to take an exam, even a final, later than planned (or even the next semester?)
    - ams6110 14y ago
      yes, it's called an Incomplete.
- Spooky23 14y ago
  It really depends. Many people, especially poor folks, don't do obituaries, because they can be expensive. Original death certificates are always in high demand, and people tend to not realize that they need dozens of them -- proving to a teacher that grandma died is low priority. There are other cultural factors as well. Some religions call for immediate burial, so publication of the obituary will likely lag the student's absence. Another factor to consider is that fall exam times line up with the holiday season, which also happens to be a time of the year when death rates spike. Given all of the other accommodations that colleges give students, I don't see the big deal here. When I was in school, I was able to get incompletes to finish coursework or take exams late for various reasons. I had friends who got ADD diagnoses from doc-in-the-box places because they found taking exams in lecture centers with tiny desks impossible to deal with. If a C student gets an extra 3 days to study, the outcome is likely the same as it would have been.