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If the only distortion possible was "heat of the moment", then yeah, the more emotional person in this situation would be overreacting. Unfortunately, there are

by unalone 14y ago

If the only distortion possible was "heat of the moment", then yeah, the more emotional person in this situation would be overreacting. Unfortunately, there are systematic and structural faults in the way our society is constructed, which in many situations are invisible to the people who benefit from those faults and enormously apparent to the people getting screwed over by them. When an argument breaks out among those faultlines, the person getting emotionally charged may be doing so simply because they understand this argument from a context which the calmer participant doesn't see or refuses to acknowledge.

TeMPOraL 14y ago
Or it may be just that the calmer person has a rationality 101 failure. I see the "overreacting" phrase used quite often against a person who raises a legitimate complaint. It's easier to say "you're overreacting" than admit that there's a problem here that might need to be solved. Bottomline, there's no way in which telling someone they're overreacting is going to lead to a productive conversation. It's a nasty way of dismissing someone.
- Dylan16807 14y ago
  Legitimate complaints are not usually extremely emotional. I still think the odds are better than 50% that a very angry-acting person is overreacting. It's obviously not always right or always wrong but I really don't think it's close to 50%. Whether it is polite to tell someone they are overreacting is a completely different issue. Also if someone is reacting to faults in society.. they may be right but why are they getting angry now, specifically? They might be 'overreacting' to a current event which is equivalent to reacting to something they experienced at a different time instead. Is that legitimate? Well, sometimes. The answer isn't always clear. But that's not an excuse to go '50/50'.
  - mtrimpe 14y ago
    Not to make an ad-hominem, but are you by chance a middle- to upper-class, straight, white male? To be more precise, is there any area in your life where you are fully aware of systematically having the deck stacked against you and are repeatedly and painfully confronted by it?
    - Dylan16807 14y ago
      Look, I'm not trying to say such anger isn't legitimate. I'm only saying I think legitimate very angry shouting in public is some amount less common than illegitimate very angry shouting in public. Especially when you consider the contribution of children to the latter. Let me put it this way. I understand that the world 'overreacting' is heavily abused. It is very often wrong. We need to fight the abuse of the word 'overreacting'. But don't counter it by being wrong in the opposite direction, and assuming that every single time someone is very upset that there is a good reason for it. Also I'm prone to a pretty cold anger.
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by unalone 14y ago

TeMPOraL 14y ago

Or it may be just that the calmer person has a rationality 101 failure. I see the "overreacting" phrase used quite often against a person who raises a legitimate complaint. It's easier to say "you're overreacting" than admit that there's a problem here that might need to be solved. Bottomline, there's no way in which telling someone they're overreacting is going to lead to a productive conversation. It's a nasty way of dismissing someone.

Dylan16807 14y ago
Legitimate complaints are not usually extremely emotional. I still think the odds are better than 50% that a very angry-acting person is overreacting. It's obviously not always right or always wrong but I really don't think it's close to 50%. Whether it is polite to tell someone they are overreacting is a completely different issue. Also if someone is reacting to faults in society.. they may be right but why are they getting angry now, specifically? They might be 'overreacting' to a current event which is equivalent to reacting to something they experienced at a different time instead. Is that legitimate? Well, sometimes. The answer isn't always clear. But that's not an excuse to go '50/50'.
- mtrimpe 14y ago
  Not to make an ad-hominem, but are you by chance a middle- to upper-class, straight, white male? To be more precise, is there any area in your life where you are fully aware of systematically having the deck stacked against you and are repeatedly and painfully confronted by it?
  - Dylan16807 14y ago
    Look, I'm not trying to say such anger isn't legitimate. I'm only saying I think legitimate very angry shouting in public is some amount less common than illegitimate very angry shouting in public. Especially when you consider the contribution of children to the latter. Let me put it this way. I understand that the world 'overreacting' is heavily abused. It is very often wrong. We need to fight the abuse of the word 'overreacting'. But don't counter it by being wrong in the opposite direction, and assuming that every single time someone is very upset that there is a good reason for it. Also I'm prone to a pretty cold anger.

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