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It depends on what you like and what you're like and how old you are. If you're a young guy, and you've got the typical grooming and lifestyle habits that woul

by timr 14y ago

It depends on what you like and what you're like and how old you are. If you're a young guy, and you've got the typical grooming and lifestyle habits that would cause people to label you as a "nerd", you'll have trouble in both cities. But if you're a little more put together and/or a little older, SF is massively better. A lot of the single women here are in their 30s, and a bit more established in their lives. They're not the kind of women who find conversations about code and video games to be desirable traits in a partner. Seattle was abysmal in all dating categories. The place has a weird, backwards social vibe that makes it incredibly difficult to make friends, and every public space was at least 2-to-1 male. I went to dance classes where men had to dance with each other because there weren't enough women(!) That said, there's been a huge shift in the number of well-off, vaguely stylish, 28-35 year-old single guys living in SF in the last two years. That's going to make things harder, but I don't know if it will ever get as bad as Seattle.

rdl 14y ago
SF also seems to be Mecca if you're gay, at least a certain kind of 20-35 year old gay man, too, which has a huge crossover with tech workers. I know it's been a great way to recruit at previous companies -- find the gay kid who is a developer or designer stuck in some crappy midwestern/southern town and help him relocate to San Francisco with a good job. But most of the older gay people I know later end up becoming boring and move to Walnut Creek or whatever to have a family, just like other people as they get older. Presumably NYC has the same thing going on. I've only ever really been in the dating scene in the bay area for a month or two a couple times, and ended up with girlfriends rapidly. I guess being involved in the rave/party/etc. scene, and being interested in smart/confident/etc. vs. a lot of other things = easy mode for dating? But I don't really have anything to calibrate against other than MIT.

by timr 14y ago

rdl 14y ago

SF also seems to be Mecca if you're gay, at least a certain kind of 20-35 year old gay man, too, which has a huge crossover with tech workers. I know it's been a great way to recruit at previous companies -- find the gay kid who is a developer or designer stuck in some crappy midwestern/southern town and help him relocate to San Francisco with a good job. But most of the older gay people I know later end up becoming boring and move to Walnut Creek or whatever to have a family, just like other people as they get older. Presumably NYC has the same thing going on. I've only ever really been in the dating scene in the bay area for a month or two a couple times, and ended up with girlfriends rapidly. I guess being involved in the rave/party/etc. scene, and being interested in smart/confident/etc. vs. a lot of other things = easy mode for dating? But I don't really have anything to calibrate against other than MIT.