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> Recently, as I reached for the play button out of habit, I stopped. I thought: what if I just do this chore in silence today? It seems most people today have
by bambax 2mo ago
> Recently, as I reached for the play button out of habit, I stopped. I thought: what if I just do this chore in silence today?
It seems most people today have headphones on all the time. I don't understand it. I'm not sure, but it would seem people hate their own voice?
I just love silence.
I can't work in anything but complete silence. In open spaces I wear earplugs. (If I'm not wearing earplugs it means I'm not doing much of anything ;-) That's one of the main benefits of remote work: at my home there is complete silence most of the time.
I need silence for many other activities too. Cooking, reading (of course), even driving.
In fact, I think my problem is the opposite: I just can't do two things at once. If I'm listening to something, then I can't be doing anything else.
- t43562 2mo agoIn open plan offices there is no silence. Working at home there's no silence. Headphones offer the only escape. They're also a sign that you are trying to concentrate to discourage those "just a quick word" moments which could easily be covered by an instant message. For you I'd recommend some ear protectors that one might use when operating power tools :-). I actually think ear protectors with some bluetooth headphones built in might be the ideal solution :-)
- nkapias 2mo ago> They're also a sign that you are trying to concentrate to discourage those "just a quick word" moments which could easily be covered by an instant message. This is the reason I wear headphones, I don't even switch them on. It seems to be less broadly understood than before and my work is often disrupted.
- bambax 2mo agoEarplugs work very well for me. I can't hear anything with them on.
- embedding-shape 2mo ago> It seems most people today have headphones on all the time. I don't understand it. I'm not sure, but it would seem people hate their own voice? Depends on the location maybe too? I think in big cities I see more people with headphones on when they're out and about (which makes sense, cities tends to be noisy and not in the interesting way like nature is), compared to in the small town I live in now, where most people aren't wearing headphones, except if they exercise. I guess it also depends on what you listen to. I've found certain types of electronic music to essentially put me in a "trance of focus and clarity" and as long as I keep it going, that can give me enough energy for hours to do all the chores of the day + end it all with a swim, all while listening to liquid drum & bass and forgetting about everything else in the world.
- D-Machine 2mo agoI see a lot of people walking around in the city with headphones, and I always find it concerning. These people have huge issues with situational awareness: they can't hear faster walkers approaching from behind, often don't notice suspicious or erratic behaviour from the local flavour until far too late, and IMO are simply incapable of properly anticipating things like increased engine roars as a driver guns it trying to make it by on a yellow. As long as people realize they are making this tradeoff, fine, I guess. But I wouldn't.
- embedding-shape 2mo agoI dunno, usually they seem to have good enough. I'm not sure what the risk is for "faster walkers approaching from behind" but where I live, it's the etiquette that it's the responsibility of the one passing to make sure to not bother the passee, it's not up to them to make sure you don't walk into them. The other points just seem over the top cautious as well, but maybe I'm too European to understand the constant stress and threats that seems typical in the US and similar places. I'm fairly sure people are aware about the fact that they're missing a whole sense + some situational awareness when they're wearing headphones and walk around :)
- D-Machine 2mo agoI'm in downtown Toronto, and there are plenty of (very quiet) electric cars, all sorts of quiet e-bikes and other electric personal transportation devices (scooters, e-unicycles) and other things (roller blades, bikes, skateboards) where often the only sound is the noise of the wheels on the sidewalk / pavement making a quiet hiss / rumble. I do a lot of walking, and headphone people are often (but not always) quite clueless about these things approaching. Granted, those other people aren't supposed to be where people are walking, but they regularly are, sadly. Passing isn't something that is only the responsibility of the passer, that of course is absurd. Most people don't walk on the very edge of a path, but slightly off from the center (or in the shade close to the buildings if hot, or far from the street if puddles and raining, and etc), and you may also be carrying things that make you take up a lot of space. So, in practice, as a walker, you do in fact have to be aware of people approaching from behind, at least, if you aren't an ass, because it is often kind (or even necessary) to move aside a bit to make passing easier / possible. Earphone people are some of the biggest assholes in these scenarios. EDIT: But I fully agree that once you get out of the chaos of the downtown core, or likely plenty of other cities, this is probably just not really a meaningful problem / tradeoff.
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- goolz 2mo agoI wear headphones about 80% of my waking day. Super comfy, wireless, noise-cancelling ones. The funny thing is, I rarely play anything through them, and am almost always just listening to silence. I try and listen to other things, podcasts or music, sadly nothing compares to that golden silence.
- oulipo 2mo agoI agree. Most of the time, silence. Sometimes, white noise to block other's people voice. And when I don't need to do something intellectual, just listening to the buzz of life around
- EinsDueTresFour 2mo agoI am the same when I am doing deep work that I am interested in. I need absolute silence. My day-to-day mundane work is a bit different, but I still cannot listen to music with lyrics. I have found to my surprise that the soundtrack of 8-bit games (SNES et al) really helps. I now have a playlist full of those, with soundtracks from Star Fox to A Link to the Past. Really helps with the mundane stuff.
- deleted 2mo ago[deleted]
- jasode 2mo ago>most people today have headphones on all the time. I don't understand it. I'm not sure, but it would seem people hate their own voice? I can't generalize for everyone and maybe some of those people you observe are just listening to music all day long. In my circle, we have earphones all the time because we're listening to podcasts of news, tech industry commentary, macroeconomics and finance, etc. If one is working in an area where you're professionally rewarded by being curious about the changing world and being "plugged in", having "headphones on all the time" can help with staying up-to-date. Even with all that headphone time, there are still many hours in the day in personal silence. Laying in bed consolidating various thoughts before falling asleep. Standing in the shower. Reading blogs, etc. Before podcasts, we'd have to "waste time" sitting in front of the computer to catch up on the same material. Podcasts help us multitask. Of course, not everybody needs (or wants) to have headphones on all the time. The mathematician Andrew Wiles pursued Fermat's Last Theorem for 30 years before finally solving it. He doesn't need a random podcast that talks about the Iran war and its downstream economic effects on manufacturing computer chips. That type of "useless" news would probably bore him. >, even driving. In fact, I think my problem is the opposite: I just can't do two things at once. If I'm listening to something, then I can't be doing anything else. It just depends on the threshold of mindless activity. If I'm driving in an unknown city with confusing one-way streets, I don't want a podcast voice yapping in my ear while I'm concentrating on reading the traffic signs. On the other hand, driving through 100 miles of monotonous corn fields on a highway means I can catch up on a backlog of podcasts.
- igleria 2mo agoMy non expert and personal opinion is that multitasking for a long time is not a free lunch and could lead to burnout for most people
- iammjm 2mo agoYes, or the question is how much of both are you really engaged with and will remember at all. And then if you do, maybe the information was crap and not worthy of your attention anyway. I think anything really worth doing is worth doing at your 100%.
- dspillett 2mo ago> but it would seem people hate their own voice? Hell yes. And the other bits of me hate me and each other. Being alone with my own thoughts can be a dangerous situation.
- BoostandEthanol 2mo agoDitto this. Getting better thanks to therapy but at my worst podcasts were a welcome endless noise to stop me from spiralling. As I heal the balance is leaning back to music and occasionally my unaided imagination, but it’s still uncomfortable to be alone.
- slumberlust 2mo agoAlia?
- worldsavior 2mo agoSome put headphones on because you want silence. So much noise outside.
- ramgine 2mo agoI wear ANC headphones most of the time and especially in public because people are too loud. I have nothing playing, it’s just quieter ambient noise.
- D-Machine 2mo agoYou should try foam earplugs, if they are comfortable for you. Far more effective and discreet, you have a range of dB ratings to choose from for degree of muting, they are cheaper and stay in place better, and are more portable.
- bsuvc 2mo ago> It seems most people today have headphones on all the time. I don't know about other people, but for me, if I'm using my earbuds it is because someone around me is being distracting and/or annoying. I usually prefer silence for work, but often that isn't an option.
- busymom0 2mo agoRecently, I've stopped carrying my headphones when I leave home and also stopped having them on after around 2pm. Somedays, I don't wear them at all. This means, no music when working out, on public transit, when grocery shopping etc. The reason I did this was because I was noticing that the music was getting me too hyped and that was interfering with my sleep. Sometimes, it was even stuck in my head while I was lying on my bed trying to sleep.
- elAhmo 2mo agoSilence during driving is not really a good thing, you should be aware of the surroundings and other participants, hear your car for weird noises, etc.
- D-Machine 2mo agoSame with walking in the city IMO.
- medbar 2mo ago> In open spaces I wear earplugs. Noise canceling headphones do the trick for me, I just don’t play anything through them. I don’t like the feeling of something in my ears.
- stronglikedan 2mo agoI haven't found noise cancelling headphones that don't cause pressure. And with Bose it's like some weird negative something sensation - like disturbingly quiet. I presume it's what those sound proof rooms feel like from what I've heard described.
- gwbas1c 2mo agoI have a pair of Sony WH-1000XM4 headphones, and they are so comfortable that I can wear them all day. They also get so quiet that they made me realize that I have tinnitus.
- medbar 2mo agoI've had these before and can confirm they're great, noticeably lighter than my current Airpods Max. FYI: I believe the XM4 is still vulnerable to CVE-2025-20700/20701/20702 if that's a concern for you.
- maleldil 2mo agoI never really understood how people can wear headphones all day. I have the XM5 headphones, and after a couple of hours, it starts hurting my head. What am I doing wrong? I also have the earbuds of the same generation, and they're much more comfortable, but the noise cancelling is less consistent.
- medbar 2mo agoYeah, I get it. ANC can feel like you're underwater sometimes, but ear plugs won't get rid of that pressure feeling. You'd need an actually quiet room, which I guess is my ideal anyways.
- dimitrios1 2mo agoTwo reflections from me: - Starting my career during the beginning of and through the peak of the open floor plan office trained me to use headphones as a signal to others that I wanted to be left alone / needed to focus on my task. Now I catch myself doing it in other contexts subconsciously, like the gym, and have to stop myself sometimes to make sure I am doing it intentionally. I am at the age now where like you, I either prefer silence, or reminisce about the bygone days where people struck up conversations, past the usual pleasantries - just deep conversation with a total stranger that you may or may not ever see again, which wearing headphones takes away that possibility. - silence is generally, in my opinion, for content people and/or people not struggling with a mental illness. I'd venture a guess that our field skews towards people who have negative internal voices. Having something playing as a distraction can take you away from those destructive thoughts. I had to do a lot of cognitive behavioral therapy and soul searching to be content with silence.
- ramijames 2mo agoFor me, my life has gotten so stressful and awful, I just need to get away from my anxiety and the best way is through distraction. Music, podcasts, and audio books help me maintain some semblance of normalcy. I can't even fall asleep without some distraction. I'll stay up all night stressing about not being able to find work, my kid's futures, my piling up of bills, inflation, ever expanding war, etc.
- monknomo 2mo agohave you considered seeking treatment? I personally have had some spells like you are describing, and generally white knuckled through. I tried medication for the last one, and I'll be darned if it didn't work pretty well.
- JKCalhoun 2mo agoFor one: headphones are a nonstarter for me. Even earbuds… I don't want anything attached to, hanging off of me. Speakers only. But for me it's music playing in the background. Podcasts I have to listen to, background music just… goes—my thoughts are free to wander. I find that when the music is not on, I start up a song in my head—and usually an annoying one for some reason—and it will be on an endless loop until I put on something external.
- jdkdjckwjd 2mo agoYou sound way too judgemental and proud of being ok with silence (?). I mean, what? > I don't understand it. I'm not sure, but it would seem people hate their own voice? No, some people just like to do things listening to music or similar things.
- Brendinooo 2mo agoI run a lot and I do a lot of work on the property; there are times when my head requires silent decompression and or sorting out my own thoughts and silence is golden; there are times when I want to catch up on the news and/or be distracted from the task at hand and a podcast is great.
- runjake 2mo agoHalf the time I have my headphones on playing nothing. I'm just using the noise cancellation to find some silence.
- akudha 2mo agoI just love silence. I am just like you, but my guess is most people are not in this category. I also like empty space - no matter how big my living space is (not that it is big), I hate to fill it with things I don't need. Perfectly happy with just keeping only those things I need and leave the rest of the space empty. In this too, I have noticed, I am in the minority. Not saying one is better than the other. If people like sound/noise, it is their choice. That said, people who like silence are at a disadvantage, as silence is becoming rarer and rarer, whereas noise is everywhere. At minimum, it would be nice if people put their headphones on and not bother others...