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I used to travel to the U.S. every year or two for this or that and I always left thinking about just how stressed out I'd be if I had to live there. There's a

I used to travel to the U.S. every year or two for this or that and I always left thinking about just how stressed out I'd be if I had to live there. There's a sense of having to have your "guard up" so much. That someone or something is always out to screw you. That you need gates on your communities. That your kids' school is going to get shot up. That cops might be the enemy. That you'll depend on someone in a moment of vulnerability and you'll be part of the wrong tribe. That you're a medical event away from financial catastrophe. That even when you have medical insurance, they're trying to screw you. That healthcare is tied to employment. That your government really wants to !@#$ you and your civic duty is becoming a full-time job. I think it's possible that a lot of this is subjective personal bias, and people may tell me it's not actually that bad. But I also wonder if the people who have to live their lives in it long term are just used to it. And if they were to step outside of it for long enough like this blogger, they might detox from the stress. I think what I do know for sure is that "it's like this everywhere" feels certainly wrong. Everywhere is different and I don't accept that every single form of different is equal. There are better and worse versions of different.

bpt3 3mo ago
Where are you from, and where are you visiting? Nearly everything you said is inaccurate for the vast majority of the US, and it's obvious you have projected a lot of vaguely accurate online news reports across the nation as a whole.
- Waterluvian 3mo ago
  Ontario -> DFW a bunch, San Diego, Bay Area, NYC, Boston, Buffalo, Nashville, Orlando, Atlanta, Numerous rural nowheres in Wisconsin (it's a long story), DC. Just what comes to the top of my head that I've visited as an adult for longer than a week. Admittedly I haven't been in a few years. Maybe things have been getting much better there!
  - bpt3 3mo ago
    It's odd that you've spent so much time in the US and have no idea what life is like here, but feel free to hold whatever opinion you like.
    - allarm 2mo ago
      That's a great comment - you couldn't make it up. It's the perfect illustration of the blog post.
padolsey 3mo ago
I have had bouts of strong desire to move to the US, but I can't get past the uncomfortable feeling that you need to constantly have your back up. Unless you're super-wealthy, it just seems a hard place to exist.
graemep 3mo ago
> you need gates on your communities I think that is a cause: if you are gated off in a secure area, you care less about the safety of wider society. You will want to spend less on the police etc. > That your kids' school is going to get shot up. its really not that likely. A kid in the US is far more likely to die on the way to school than get shot at school, but the former is a fear people have adjusted to. The medical insurance tied to your job is weird and scary.
- jamie_ca 3mo ago
  >> That your kids' school is going to get shot up. > its really not that likely. A kid in the US is far more likely to die on the way to school than get shot at school, but the former is a fear people have adjusted to. True, it's just _so much_ more likely compared to other countries, to the point of it's not really on the radar day-to-day. Child/teen cause of death stats https://www.kff.org/mental-health/child-and-teen-firearm-mortality-in-the-u-s-and-peer-countries/ https://www.kff.org/mental-health/child-and-teen-firearm-mor... call out Canada as #2 for firearm mortality in general. We've had 29 school shootings (including universities, and including "a gun was discharged in a stairwell") since 2000, with 31 fatalities. USA is 327 with 197 dead since 2020. And yes, that's with almost 9x the population, but per capita it's still a wild outlier of a stat.
- archagon 3mo ago
  It's not likely, but it happens all the time. It's the only country where it does. And you get things like lockdown drills, kevlar backpacks, and armed teachers as a result. Even if most kids don't experience a school shooting, they still get traumatized from having to think about this stuff from an early age. Hellish.
  - graemep 3mo ago
    Schools in the UK now have lockdown drills.
    - archagon 3mo ago
      Ah, must be those famous cultural exports.
rawgabbit 3mo ago
As a Texan and a sample of size of 1. [N] That you need gates on your communities. [Y] That your kids' school is going to get shot up. [Y] That cops might be the enemy. [N] You'll be part of the wrong tribe. [N] Medical event away from financial catastrophe. [Y] Medical insurance, they're trying to screw you. [Y] That healthcare is tied to employment. [N] That your government really wants to !@#$ you. This is my personal opinion as someone who grew up in rural Texas and moved to the big cities. Some anecdotes: Schools participate in "active shooter training". The cops came to my son's high school and gave the "talk"; say "lawyer" -- comply and don't get killed -- tell the judge you were under duress. Racism and discrimination is present; but living in the big cities I don't think it is as prevalent. Medical care in the US is a cruel joke where people are indebted to doctors and hospitals and you are expected to die broke at the end of your life.

bpt3 3mo ago

Where are you from, and where are you visiting? Nearly everything you said is inaccurate for the vast majority of the US, and it's obvious you have projected a lot of vaguely accurate online news reports across the nation as a whole.

Waterluvian 3mo ago
Ontario -> DFW a bunch, San Diego, Bay Area, NYC, Boston, Buffalo, Nashville, Orlando, Atlanta, Numerous rural nowheres in Wisconsin (it's a long story), DC. Just what comes to the top of my head that I've visited as an adult for longer than a week. Admittedly I haven't been in a few years. Maybe things have been getting much better there!
- bpt3 3mo ago
  It's odd that you've spent so much time in the US and have no idea what life is like here, but feel free to hold whatever opinion you like.
  - allarm 2mo ago
    That's a great comment - you couldn't make it up. It's the perfect illustration of the blog post.

padolsey 3mo ago

I have had bouts of strong desire to move to the US, but I can't get past the uncomfortable feeling that you need to constantly have your back up. Unless you're super-wealthy, it just seems a hard place to exist.

graemep 3mo ago

> you need gates on your communities I think that is a cause: if you are gated off in a secure area, you care less about the safety of wider society. You will want to spend less on the police etc. > That your kids' school is going to get shot up. its really not that likely. A kid in the US is far more likely to die on the way to school than get shot at school, but the former is a fear people have adjusted to. The medical insurance tied to your job is weird and scary.

jamie_ca 3mo ago
>> That your kids' school is going to get shot up. > its really not that likely. A kid in the US is far more likely to die on the way to school than get shot at school, but the former is a fear people have adjusted to. True, it's just _so much_ more likely compared to other countries, to the point of it's not really on the radar day-to-day. Child/teen cause of death stats https://www.kff.org/mental-health/child-and-teen-firearm-mortality-in-the-u-s-and-peer-countries/ https://www.kff.org/mental-health/child-and-teen-firearm-mor... call out Canada as #2 for firearm mortality in general. We've had 29 school shootings (including universities, and including "a gun was discharged in a stairwell") since 2000, with 31 fatalities. USA is 327 with 197 dead since 2020. And yes, that's with almost 9x the population, but per capita it's still a wild outlier of a stat.
archagon 3mo ago
It's not likely, but it happens all the time. It's the only country where it does. And you get things like lockdown drills, kevlar backpacks, and armed teachers as a result. Even if most kids don't experience a school shooting, they still get traumatized from having to think about this stuff from an early age. Hellish.
- graemep 3mo ago
  Schools in the UK now have lockdown drills.
  - archagon 3mo ago
    Ah, must be those famous cultural exports.

rawgabbit 3mo ago

As a Texan and a sample of size of 1. [N] That you need gates on your communities. [Y] That your kids' school is going to get shot up. [Y] That cops might be the enemy. [N] You'll be part of the wrong tribe. [N] Medical event away from financial catastrophe. [Y] Medical insurance, they're trying to screw you. [Y] That healthcare is tied to employment. [N] That your government really wants to !@#$ you. This is my personal opinion as someone who grew up in rural Texas and moved to the big cities. Some anecdotes: Schools participate in "active shooter training". The cops came to my son's high school and gave the "talk"; say "lawyer" -- comply and don't get killed -- tell the judge you were under duress. Racism and discrimination is present; but living in the big cities I don't think it is as prevalent. Medical care in the US is a cruel joke where people are indebted to doctors and hospitals and you are expected to die broke at the end of your life.