7 ms·

US Military asks troops for 'creative and unconventional' ideas to punish Iran

36 points by bushwart 2mo ago

bushwart 2mo ago
>“We are looking for new creative and unconventional ways to pressure and punish Iran,” an officer in US Central Command’s intelligence branch wrote in a message sent Wednesday to a broad group of military analysts, according to a source familiar with the message. A second source also said that a senior US military officer sent the message last week soliciting new ideas for how to deal with Iran. Still somewhat better than just asking ChatGPT, I guess?
- Tostino 2mo ago
  They've been doing that (ask an LLM) since the start, and look at how much "success" we've had!
- deleted 2mo ago
  [deleted]
blitzar 2mo ago
Bomb some (more) schools. Thats bound to punish them and win hearts and minds.
- whosdatis 2mo ago
  I would be more careful about such jokes.
ftlps 2mo ago
Could be deliberate theater. The real plan is a containment and a slow economic collapse of Iran anyway. If the EU and Japan pay higher energy costs, that is an added bonus for Trump.
- deleted 2mo ago
  [deleted]
- delfinom 2mo ago
  Because isolation totally works, looks at Cuba and North Korea
  - garciasn 2mo ago
    I mean, it sorta works; but, only because of sheer luck. Both of those countries have no real power. Cuba, in particular, has negative value on the global scene and NK only has somewhat empty threats of nuclear weapons. The only true fear is dealing with NK's populace flooding into SK or China during any regime collapse.
  - advisedwang 2mo ago
    And Iran, for that matter
- mittensc 2mo ago
  > Could be deliberate theater. The real plan is a containment and a slow economic collapse of Iran anyway. Doesn't seem like there's a coherent plan. What you are saying is the old plan from long before Trump, that was torpedoed. Going back to that is saying they've failed in whatever this was. Also that is iran's plan as well, survive while the US suffers and eventually gives up like Vietnam ... > If the EU and Japan pay higher energy costs, that is an added bonus for Trump. US also pays added costs... and Trump is hurting from that The only one profiting is China since they've mostly transitioned away from oil...
  - elias_t 2mo ago
    > The only one profiting is China since they've mostly transitioned away from oil... They had to use their own oil reserves to regulate the market, where they win is in soft power
    - dnautics 2mo ago
Bender 2mo ago
Turn all the under-mountain missile cities into super-mega-mall-cities with Whole Foods, McDonalds, indoor shooting ranges, nail salons, super-walmarts, hotels, apartments, casinos, mega strip clubs and free e-bikes to get from business to business as the tunnels go on for miles. Free unlimited, uncensored WiFi, everywhere. Air conditioning, everywhere. Make each section walking-friendly. Import millions of tourists. Free around-the-clock child care. Customer service center at every entrance with scantily clad male and female greeters that know how to say "I Love You" in every language. Free insulated water bottles with US and Iranian flag logos and unlimited free refills of any drink. Adult VR video viewing massage booths in every tunnel. Free DMT IV drip booths. Free Carls Jr. vending machines. Free trains, busses and camels that transport or relocate people from their homes to the apartments or hotels in the tunnels. Free health spa. Free tattoos with exotic inks that glow. VIP tunnels for wealthy tourists that lead directly to underground high security parking for the casinos with VIP casino entrance and private rooms. Sulfur hot tubs. Medical spa with full time doctors and nurses, waiting room has VR video games. How to pay for this? Sell their boring equipment. They can bore through solid granite at a relatively high speed. It should cover all of the above for years. After that runs out augment funds with some oil revenue. Get investors from around the world. Convert Iran into the tourist capital of the world and the place of least regulations. Or keep the boring equipment and keep adding new businesses, hotels and apartments. Most Iranian civilians should enjoy. Some IRGC may be turned. The ones that are not turned will not be able to resist checking it out. Some will come around with time. It's on Mossad to get the remaining hold-outs into a DMT and/or massage booth. Veteran, not active duty. Hope it still counts.
- burnt-resistor 2mo ago
  Uh the problem is Iranians have no purchasing power because of runaway inflation due to crushing US-imposed sanctions. None of the above would be possible without first ending sanctions.
  - Bender 2mo ago
    Ending sanctions would be part of the deal and of course required to sell the boring equipment and to get oil revenue fully back online.
seanhunter 2mo ago
Airdrop Hershey’s chocolate over Tehran.
- burnt-resistor 2mo ago
  Modern post-enshittification Hershey's chocolate is a war crime for being awful.
  - nothercastle 2mo ago
    Is it even legal to call that “chocolate adjacent product” chocolate in Europe.
  - eshack94 2mo ago
    "chocolate product", these days, or so it seems.
burnt-resistor 2mo ago
Blast Ted Nugent at them.
- lokar 2mo ago
  Air drop kid rock on Tehran
  - IamtheBulldog 2mo ago
    Without a parachute. win-win.
amanaplanacanal 2mo ago
Here is an idea: the only way to win is a large and extremely costly invasion, actual troops on the ground for probably a decade. Nobody wants to pay that price. It was insane to start this war, and everybody knew it but Netanyahu and Trump. I can't believe Rubio was stupid enough to go along with it.
- Tostino 2mo ago
  American exceptionalism is a poison to the mind. Elect people who are "true believers", and this is the expected outcome.
- deleted 2mo ago
  [deleted]
- pstuart 2mo ago
  What every admin in this century has done is to avoid declaring what construes "winning" -- which is rather convenient to them as far as how they are to be judged on waging that war.
q8zd3 2mo ago
Someone who had no idea where he was getting himself into has no idea how to leave.
BugsJustFindMe 2mo ago
To punish them for being invaded by us? The abuser saying "Why did you make me hit you?"
- pstuart 2mo ago
  We had to destroy the village to save it.
- thomassmith65 2mo ago
  Even if one is against bombing Iran on account of its civilians, one shouldn't act like Iran under its current rulers is a peace-loving nation that keeps to itself. I'll join the chorus if Trump bombs Greenland or Canada.
  - BugsJustFindMe 2mo ago
    > one shouldn't act like Iran under its current rulers is a peace-loving nation that keeps to itself. I guess the US should be bombed too by that logic.
    - thomassmith65 2mo ago
      The point was that Iran, under its theocratic rulers, is not a peace-loving nation that keeps to itself. That is the case regardless of whether Iran's rulers choose Mahatma Gandhi or Genghis Khan to be their great satan.
      - xquce 2mo ago
        The point was that the US, under its theocratic rulers, is not a peace-loving nation that keeps to itself. That is the case regardless of whether Iran's rulers choose Mahatma Gandhi or Genghis Khan to be their great satan.
        thomassmith65 2mo ago
        Americans worry about theocracy when the right wing SCOTUS bans abortion. Iran hangs people for apostasy * Different strokes for different folks, but to me, drawing an equivalence of the US, even with its current deplorable (I could search for other adjectives, but why reinvent the wheel) government, and the Islamic Republic of Iran is "pass the bong" territory. * https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/iran-hangs-two-men-blasphemy-mizan-2023-05-08/ https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/iran-hangs-two-men...
RaftPeople 2mo ago
Re-route all phone traffic to Comcast Customer Service.
- eth0up 2mo ago
  You have no idea what you've unleashed. What if this is actually done? They said "punish", not eternal damnation! Somehow, we must prevent CENTCOM from finding this comment. We can get away with abducting Venezuelan presidents, even prejudicial executions of narco sailors, but this would set a precedent the world cannot afford. And I think you should consider some serious self reflection. If you are having such extreme ideation, you may need help.
pvaldes 2mo ago
Send Trump to Iran. Inside a gift box with a fancy bow. Iran destruction guaranteed. If you don't believe me, look at the ruins formerly called White House There is a chance that the ground will open and the strait water will become lava, but is a risk that I'm willing to take
peter_d_sherman 2mo ago
>"US Military asks troops for 'creative and unconventional' ideas to punish Iran" I don't know, how about: make peace with them? ? (I'm guessing that that idea is either too creative and/or too unconventional to be considered! :-) (And yes, I am bracing for the disingenuous one or two line bot comments and downvotes!))
- whosdatis 2mo ago
  So, with a false pretense, you destroyed their country, which already had scarse resources, and now you would just "offer peace"? Not that I disagree with making peace, but it simply looks extremely unjust
a34729t 2mo ago
The easiest weapon to use is demographics: Offer a visa to any Iranian woman under 25.
cindyllm 2mo ago
[dead]
szopin 2mo ago
The big question is why ask meatbags for creative solutions, when they have access to these WMDs like mythos?
Sabinus 2mo ago
If this had been a Democrat admin, can you imagine the derision from the Republicans of 10 years ago? To start a war, get 6 months in, and start asking around for ways to win? Seriously? I can taste the outrage it would have been. But now? Where did all these rational Republicans go?
whosdis 2mo ago
[dead]

36 points by bushwart 2mo ago

>“We are looking for new creative and unconventional ways to pressure and punish Iran,” an officer in US Central Command’s intelligence branch wrote in a message sent Wednesday to a broad group of military analysts, according to a source familiar with the message. A second source also said that a senior US military officer sent the message last week soliciting new ideas for how to deal with Iran. Still somewhat better than just asking ChatGPT, I guess?

Tostino 2mo ago
They've been doing that (ask an LLM) since the start, and look at how much "success" we've had!
deleted 2mo ago
[deleted]

blitzar 2mo ago

Bomb some (more) schools. Thats bound to punish them and win hearts and minds.

whosdatis 2mo ago
I would be more careful about such jokes.

ftlps 2mo ago

Could be deliberate theater. The real plan is a containment and a slow economic collapse of Iran anyway. If the EU and Japan pay higher energy costs, that is an added bonus for Trump.

deleted 2mo ago
[deleted]
delfinom 2mo ago
Because isolation totally works, looks at Cuba and North Korea
- garciasn 2mo ago
  I mean, it sorta works; but, only because of sheer luck. Both of those countries have no real power. Cuba, in particular, has negative value on the global scene and NK only has somewhat empty threats of nuclear weapons. The only true fear is dealing with NK's populace flooding into SK or China during any regime collapse.
- advisedwang 2mo ago
  And Iran, for that matter
mittensc 2mo ago
> Could be deliberate theater. The real plan is a containment and a slow economic collapse of Iran anyway. Doesn't seem like there's a coherent plan. What you are saying is the old plan from long before Trump, that was torpedoed. Going back to that is saying they've failed in whatever this was. Also that is iran's plan as well, survive while the US suffers and eventually gives up like Vietnam ... > If the EU and Japan pay higher energy costs, that is an added bonus for Trump. US also pays added costs... and Trump is hurting from that The only one profiting is China since they've mostly transitioned away from oil...
- elias_t 2mo ago
  > The only one profiting is China since they've mostly transitioned away from oil... They had to use their own oil reserves to regulate the market, where they win is in soft power
  - dnautics 2mo ago

Bender 2mo ago

Turn all the under-mountain missile cities into super-mega-mall-cities with Whole Foods, McDonalds, indoor shooting ranges, nail salons, super-walmarts, hotels, apartments, casinos, mega strip clubs and free e-bikes to get from business to business as the tunnels go on for miles. Free unlimited, uncensored WiFi, everywhere. Air conditioning, everywhere. Make each section walking-friendly. Import millions of tourists. Free around-the-clock child care. Customer service center at every entrance with scantily clad male and female greeters that know how to say "I Love You" in every language. Free insulated water bottles with US and Iranian flag logos and unlimited free refills of any drink. Adult VR video viewing massage booths in every tunnel. Free DMT IV drip booths. Free Carls Jr. vending machines. Free trains, busses and camels that transport or relocate people from their homes to the apartments or hotels in the tunnels. Free health spa. Free tattoos with exotic inks that glow. VIP tunnels for wealthy tourists that lead directly to underground high security parking for the casinos with VIP casino entrance and private rooms. Sulfur hot tubs. Medical spa with full time doctors and nurses, waiting room has VR video games. How to pay for this? Sell their boring equipment. They can bore through solid granite at a relatively high speed. It should cover all of the above for years. After that runs out augment funds with some oil revenue. Get investors from around the world. Convert Iran into the tourist capital of the world and the place of least regulations. Or keep the boring equipment and keep adding new businesses, hotels and apartments. Most Iranian civilians should enjoy. Some IRGC may be turned. The ones that are not turned will not be able to resist checking it out. Some will come around with time. It's on Mossad to get the remaining hold-outs into a DMT and/or massage booth. Veteran, not active duty. Hope it still counts.

burnt-resistor 2mo ago
Uh the problem is Iranians have no purchasing power because of runaway inflation due to crushing US-imposed sanctions. None of the above would be possible without first ending sanctions.
- Bender 2mo ago
  Ending sanctions would be part of the deal and of course required to sell the boring equipment and to get oil revenue fully back online.

seanhunter 2mo ago

Airdrop Hershey’s chocolate over Tehran.

burnt-resistor 2mo ago
Modern post-enshittification Hershey's chocolate is a war crime for being awful.
- nothercastle 2mo ago
  Is it even legal to call that “chocolate adjacent product” chocolate in Europe.
- eshack94 2mo ago
  "chocolate product", these days, or so it seems.

burnt-resistor 2mo ago

Blast Ted Nugent at them.

lokar 2mo ago
Air drop kid rock on Tehran
- IamtheBulldog 2mo ago
  Without a parachute. win-win.

amanaplanacanal 2mo ago

Here is an idea: the only way to win is a large and extremely costly invasion, actual troops on the ground for probably a decade. Nobody wants to pay that price. It was insane to start this war, and everybody knew it but Netanyahu and Trump. I can't believe Rubio was stupid enough to go along with it.

Tostino 2mo ago
American exceptionalism is a poison to the mind. Elect people who are "true believers", and this is the expected outcome.
deleted 2mo ago
[deleted]
pstuart 2mo ago
What every admin in this century has done is to avoid declaring what construes "winning" -- which is rather convenient to them as far as how they are to be judged on waging that war.

q8zd3 2mo ago

Someone who had no idea where he was getting himself into has no idea how to leave.

BugsJustFindMe 2mo ago

To punish them for being invaded by us? The abuser saying "Why did you make me hit you?"

pstuart 2mo ago
We had to destroy the village to save it.
thomassmith65 2mo ago
Even if one is against bombing Iran on account of its civilians, one shouldn't act like Iran under its current rulers is a peace-loving nation that keeps to itself. I'll join the chorus if Trump bombs Greenland or Canada.
- BugsJustFindMe 2mo ago
  > one shouldn't act like Iran under its current rulers is a peace-loving nation that keeps to itself. I guess the US should be bombed too by that logic.
  - thomassmith65 2mo ago
    The point was that Iran, under its theocratic rulers, is not a peace-loving nation that keeps to itself. That is the case regardless of whether Iran's rulers choose Mahatma Gandhi or Genghis Khan to be their great satan.
    - xquce 2mo ago
      The point was that the US, under its theocratic rulers, is not a peace-loving nation that keeps to itself. That is the case regardless of whether Iran's rulers choose Mahatma Gandhi or Genghis Khan to be their great satan.
      - thomassmith65 2mo ago
        Americans worry about theocracy when the right wing SCOTUS bans abortion. Iran hangs people for apostasy * Different strokes for different folks, but to me, drawing an equivalence of the US, even with its current deplorable (I could search for other adjectives, but why reinvent the wheel) government, and the Islamic Republic of Iran is "pass the bong" territory. * https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/iran-hangs-two-men-blasphemy-mizan-2023-05-08/ https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/iran-hangs-two-men...

RaftPeople 2mo ago

Re-route all phone traffic to Comcast Customer Service.

eth0up 2mo ago
You have no idea what you've unleashed. What if this is actually done? They said "punish", not eternal damnation! Somehow, we must prevent CENTCOM from finding this comment. We can get away with abducting Venezuelan presidents, even prejudicial executions of narco sailors, but this would set a precedent the world cannot afford. And I think you should consider some serious self reflection. If you are having such extreme ideation, you may need help.

pvaldes 2mo ago

Send Trump to Iran. Inside a gift box with a fancy bow. Iran destruction guaranteed. If you don't believe me, look at the ruins formerly called White House There is a chance that the ground will open and the strait water will become lava, but is a risk that I'm willing to take

peter_d_sherman 2mo ago

>"US Military asks troops for 'creative and unconventional' ideas to punish Iran" I don't know, how about: make peace with them? ? (I'm guessing that that idea is either too creative and/or too unconventional to be considered! :-) (And yes, I am bracing for the disingenuous one or two line bot comments and downvotes!))

whosdatis 2mo ago
So, with a false pretense, you destroyed their country, which already had scarse resources, and now you would just "offer peace"? Not that I disagree with making peace, but it simply looks extremely unjust

a34729t 2mo ago

The easiest weapon to use is demographics: Offer a visa to any Iranian woman under 25.

cindyllm 2mo ago

[dead]

szopin 2mo ago

The big question is why ask meatbags for creative solutions, when they have access to these WMDs like mythos?

Sabinus 2mo ago

If this had been a Democrat admin, can you imagine the derision from the Republicans of 10 years ago? To start a war, get 6 months in, and start asking around for ways to win? Seriously? I can taste the outrage it would have been. But now? Where did all these rational Republicans go?

whosdis 2mo ago

[dead]