5 ms·

This isn't the worst article, and it's triggered a decent amount of discussion (despite being very short). However, I really dislike "What you're doing wrong/fa

by ajb 3mo ago

This isn't the worst article, and it's triggered a decent amount of discussion (despite being very short). However, I really dislike "What you're doing wrong/failing to do" titles. They are intended to trigger anxiety, which is manipulative and (in this case) precisely contradicts the concern the author is purporting to have for the rest of us. On the subject: some people find meditation very helpful, others find it a net negative, or useless, or impossible to do. So a categorical "you should do this" isn't correct or particularly helpful. Try it, if it works for you, great; but don't put it about that people who aren't doing it are being negligent in some way.

wolvoleo 3mo ago
> On the subject: some people find meditation very helpful, others find it a net negative, or useless, or impossible to do. So a categorical "you should do this" isn't correct or particularly helpful. Try it, if it works for you, great; but don't put it about that people who aren't doing it are being negligent in some way Absolutely. I've tried mediation in many situations and some classes but it's just not for me. My ADHD brain doesn't work that way. It's painfully boring and not relaxing at all. What does work for me is a walk through nature after a stressful day. There's another thing that works even better but too fringey and a bit nsfw to go into detail :) But anyway mediation definitely does not. You need to find what works for you.
- Tarq0n 3mo ago
  Relaxation isn't really a goal of meditation. When you do it you cultivate a kind of meta-cognition, an awareness of - and control over - the kind of invasive thinking that usually dominates our awareness. As a fellow ADHD person I didn't get out the first few times I tried, but now find it quite helpful.
  - pantulis 3mo ago
    This. It's like you end up growing your own PAUSE button for the rest of your day and you can break your own fourth wall.
  - wolvoleo 3mo ago
    For me it just doesn't work but everyone is different, that's my point. And the relaxation is a prerequisite for having control.
- ifwinterco 3mo ago
  It being boring is part of the point - normally your brain is constantly stimulated so it does indeed feel strange and uncomfortable when that stimulus is taken away. Pushing through that is what leads to progress. Meditation is like physical exercise, it's not exactly "fun" at the time, you sort of have to learn to enjoy it, but it's never easy. Like exercise the real reward is backloaded
  - wolvoleo 3mo ago
    This is exactly what the OP and I argue against, people insisting that it must be good for everyone. By the way the 'painful' part does more heaviy lifting there, not the boring. I've really tried a LOT during therapy and in some other situations. And it just doesn't work for me. Same with traditional exercise by the way. I can't do exercise in a gym (too empty) or have those 'gamification' goals, it must be more natural. I'm extremely anticompetitive and antiauthoritarian so some watch telling me I'm doing great just generates irritation.
    - nmcfarl 3mo ago
      That’s all reasonable, and everyone is different , but I do think your original comment needed pushback, because meditation is often portrayed as enjoyable and easy at least in certain kinds of media. And I do think a lot of people give up when they find it boring and painful on their first practice. And for me, it is boring and painful AND useful. And took weeks to start to show any benefits at all. Sort of like going to the gym. And people should know that that is a common thing, that you might hate meditation practice but still find it useful and continue.
      - pigpop 3mo ago
        You should include the same advice that is given for exercise, it can and should occasionally be a bit painful but you have to discover your safe limits and only push yourself a little past them each time. You don't want to rack weights in 45lbs increments until you tear a muscle, you do it in 2.5lbs or 5lbs increments and practice for several sessions of work/rest at the same level for a while before making another small increment. People often quit both exercise and meditation because they just try to push through the pain and often end up with negative results due to injury or emotional and cognitive strain in the case of meditation.
- hashmap 3mo ago
  At the risk of you hating this answer, because I hated this answer, but to me that sounds like you are holding it wrong. I have adhd and found it dumb and boring and possibly not even real / placebo or new agey until during one attempt I hit the phase change and had the holy shit this is amazing moment where it worked for like 3 seconds. The quiet relaxation felt like idk a euphoria in every part of my body just to not be anxiously mentally bouncing around for half a second.
  - wolvoleo 3mo ago
    Maybe but I've just not been able to make it work. I get that in other ways though.
- mcculley 3mo ago
  > It's painfully boring and not relaxing at all. It is a common misconception that the purpose of meditation is to relax. My experience is that meditation is very difficult but has worthwhile benefits for those around me after I meditate.
- ghostby_md 3mo ago
  I think people overcomplicate this. What is meditation in most practices? Focusing on something someone has difficulty focusing on. Following that logic, assuming focus is a generalizable and modifiable skill through these means, improved focus on something someone doesn’t want to focus on is the outcome of practicing it. That’s why I believe it’s one of the best non pharmaceutical interventions someone with adhd can do. It’s directly training a “muscle” that may be atrophied.
deleted 3mo ago
[deleted]
jacobgold 3mo ago
> "They are intended to trigger anxiety, which is manipulative and (in this case) precisely contradicts the concern the author is purporting to have for the rest of us." What? That's a very uncharitable take. I wrote this blog post and it was a sincere attempt to genuinely help people. It seems to have been very helpful for some people, based on the responses/messages I've received.

by ajb 3mo ago

wolvoleo 3mo ago

> On the subject: some people find meditation very helpful, others find it a net negative, or useless, or impossible to do. So a categorical "you should do this" isn't correct or particularly helpful. Try it, if it works for you, great; but don't put it about that people who aren't doing it are being negligent in some way Absolutely. I've tried mediation in many situations and some classes but it's just not for me. My ADHD brain doesn't work that way. It's painfully boring and not relaxing at all. What does work for me is a walk through nature after a stressful day. There's another thing that works even better but too fringey and a bit nsfw to go into detail :) But anyway mediation definitely does not. You need to find what works for you.

Tarq0n 3mo ago
Relaxation isn't really a goal of meditation. When you do it you cultivate a kind of meta-cognition, an awareness of - and control over - the kind of invasive thinking that usually dominates our awareness. As a fellow ADHD person I didn't get out the first few times I tried, but now find it quite helpful.
- pantulis 3mo ago
  This. It's like you end up growing your own PAUSE button for the rest of your day and you can break your own fourth wall.
- wolvoleo 3mo ago
  For me it just doesn't work but everyone is different, that's my point. And the relaxation is a prerequisite for having control.
ifwinterco 3mo ago
It being boring is part of the point - normally your brain is constantly stimulated so it does indeed feel strange and uncomfortable when that stimulus is taken away. Pushing through that is what leads to progress. Meditation is like physical exercise, it's not exactly "fun" at the time, you sort of have to learn to enjoy it, but it's never easy. Like exercise the real reward is backloaded
- wolvoleo 3mo ago
  This is exactly what the OP and I argue against, people insisting that it must be good for everyone. By the way the 'painful' part does more heaviy lifting there, not the boring. I've really tried a LOT during therapy and in some other situations. And it just doesn't work for me. Same with traditional exercise by the way. I can't do exercise in a gym (too empty) or have those 'gamification' goals, it must be more natural. I'm extremely anticompetitive and antiauthoritarian so some watch telling me I'm doing great just generates irritation.
  - nmcfarl 3mo ago
    That’s all reasonable, and everyone is different , but I do think your original comment needed pushback, because meditation is often portrayed as enjoyable and easy at least in certain kinds of media. And I do think a lot of people give up when they find it boring and painful on their first practice. And for me, it is boring and painful AND useful. And took weeks to start to show any benefits at all. Sort of like going to the gym. And people should know that that is a common thing, that you might hate meditation practice but still find it useful and continue.
    - pigpop 3mo ago
      You should include the same advice that is given for exercise, it can and should occasionally be a bit painful but you have to discover your safe limits and only push yourself a little past them each time. You don't want to rack weights in 45lbs increments until you tear a muscle, you do it in 2.5lbs or 5lbs increments and practice for several sessions of work/rest at the same level for a while before making another small increment. People often quit both exercise and meditation because they just try to push through the pain and often end up with negative results due to injury or emotional and cognitive strain in the case of meditation.
hashmap 3mo ago
At the risk of you hating this answer, because I hated this answer, but to me that sounds like you are holding it wrong. I have adhd and found it dumb and boring and possibly not even real / placebo or new agey until during one attempt I hit the phase change and had the holy shit this is amazing moment where it worked for like 3 seconds. The quiet relaxation felt like idk a euphoria in every part of my body just to not be anxiously mentally bouncing around for half a second.
- wolvoleo 3mo ago
  Maybe but I've just not been able to make it work. I get that in other ways though.
mcculley 3mo ago
> It's painfully boring and not relaxing at all. It is a common misconception that the purpose of meditation is to relax. My experience is that meditation is very difficult but has worthwhile benefits for those around me after I meditate.
ghostby_md 3mo ago
I think people overcomplicate this. What is meditation in most practices? Focusing on something someone has difficulty focusing on. Following that logic, assuming focus is a generalizable and modifiable skill through these means, improved focus on something someone doesn’t want to focus on is the outcome of practicing it. That’s why I believe it’s one of the best non pharmaceutical interventions someone with adhd can do. It’s directly training a “muscle” that may be atrophied.

deleted 3mo ago

[deleted]

jacobgold 3mo ago

> "They are intended to trigger anxiety, which is manipulative and (in this case) precisely contradicts the concern the author is purporting to have for the rest of us." What? That's a very uncharitable take. I wrote this blog post and it was a sincere attempt to genuinely help people. It seems to have been very helpful for some people, based on the responses/messages I've received.