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The response to "Where's Erica?" should not be to put a tracking wristband on Erica. Perhaps you won't know where Erica is. Perhaps she is doing something dange

The response to "Where's Erica?" should not be to put a tracking wristband on Erica. Perhaps you won't know where Erica is. Perhaps she is doing something dangerous. The oblivion and ambiguity are part of what constitutes acknowledging Erica's personhood.

jmorenoamor 4mo ago
This is crucial, and at the same time difficult now that I am a parent. Part of my childhood was stretching limits, going past that street because there was a cool shop or place I wanted to see, returning home one or two hours later that I should have because I was having fun. Now I try to avoid the temptation of control, I have the tools and the skills to easily do it, and it's a daily struggle to say "let them go"
- tw04 4mo ago
  That has nothing to do with tracking though. Just because I can see my kid went out of the neighborhood without permission doesn't mean I need to punish them for it or even tell them I noticed. Furthermore, my parents couldn’t track me, but I guarantee if I came home 2 hours later than I said I would I was getting grounded unless I had a REALLY good excuse.
lurking_swe 4mo ago
nitpick: the “where is erica?” is a catchy title for the feature being showcased - which is actually a notification that your child made it to school safely. Look at the screenshot closely (i don’t think you did). That’s a genuinely useful feature. Anyway I agree with you in general! But don’t forget that everyone has a different relationship with their kids and each kid is different. Believe it or not, not every teenager goes through a rebellious phase. some kids might actually appreciate a watch like this because mom and dad will pester them less and be less anxious in general. Of course the main issue is the person purchasing the watch is the parent, and some parents don’t really respect their children’s feelings. It can definitely be a problem so I hear what you’re saying. It can be used in a way that takes away their freedom. That’s not cool. another consideration: this device can be a bridge from a dumb phone to a smart-ish device, a device that’s not an actual smart phone.
- cl3misch 4mo ago
  > this device can be a bridge from a dumb phone to a smart-ish device, a device that’s not an actual smart phone What do you mean exactly? Is it really a "bridge from/to" or rather a "compromise between"?
  - lurking_swe 4mo ago
    well it’s a device that can be smart in some crucial ways, without being distracting like a smartphone is. That’s what i mean. no social media or other cancer for a teenage brain. But it has useful apps for day to day life, like maps, music, messages, etc.
- Someone 4mo ago
  > which is actually a notification that your child made it to school safely. Look at the screenshot closely (i don’t think you did). That’s a genuinely useful feature. Is it? I would think that the useful notification would be “Erica didn’t make it to school safely”. A notification that kids are where they are expected to be will needlessly distract parents many millions of times, and may cause anxiety every time it’s a few minutes late. I think it would be a net loss to society. Luckily, I don’t think that image shows a notification. AFAICT, it’s a response from a user actively asking their phone where that watch is.
  - lurking_swe 4mo ago
    > I would think that the useful notification would be “Erica didn’t make it to school safely”. That’s an excellent point actually. 100%. I don’t think FindMy can support something like that today which is unfortunate. I think the parent could create an ios shortcut that runs at a certain time every day, but that’s a lot of work lol. > Luckily, I don’t think that image shows a notification. It certainly does. It even say “time sensitive”, which is how ios annotates important notifications for a few years now. The FindMy app can also answer the “where is erica?” question (through siri), so i can see why it’s confusing.
- agnishom 4mo ago
_AzMoo 4mo ago
Perhaps this is true if Erica is 16, but if Erica is 10 then I would like to be notified if she doesn't make it to school safely.
- agnishom 4mo ago
  I get how it can feel horrifying, but I don't think we should make this decision based on gut-reactions. Bad things can and do happen to children, but nearly not as much to warrant tracking them. Even if it were, I'd be reluctant to say that this is okay
  - bko 4mo ago
    Who are you to say what is okay? She's not your child. Yes its unlikely something bad would happen. It's also unlikely that you would get into a life threatening car accident. But you still wear a seatbelt. Why? Because it's the precautionary principle, pretty much common sense. Yes in the past we let children wander, but if you asked those parents in the past if there was some very low cost way to afford additional security like knowing where your 10 year old is, they would obviously take it. But for some reason people take the wrong lessons from the past.
    - deleted 4mo ago
      [deleted]
rexpop 4mo ago
A parent as enlightened as you should have no trouble asking at dinner—without judgement or advice—"and how was your smoke sesh out back of the 7-11?"

jmorenoamor 4mo ago

This is crucial, and at the same time difficult now that I am a parent. Part of my childhood was stretching limits, going past that street because there was a cool shop or place I wanted to see, returning home one or two hours later that I should have because I was having fun. Now I try to avoid the temptation of control, I have the tools and the skills to easily do it, and it's a daily struggle to say "let them go"

tw04 4mo ago
That has nothing to do with tracking though. Just because I can see my kid went out of the neighborhood without permission doesn't mean I need to punish them for it or even tell them I noticed. Furthermore, my parents couldn’t track me, but I guarantee if I came home 2 hours later than I said I would I was getting grounded unless I had a REALLY good excuse.

lurking_swe 4mo ago

nitpick: the “where is erica?” is a catchy title for the feature being showcased - which is actually a notification that your child made it to school safely. Look at the screenshot closely (i don’t think you did). That’s a genuinely useful feature. Anyway I agree with you in general! But don’t forget that everyone has a different relationship with their kids and each kid is different. Believe it or not, not every teenager goes through a rebellious phase. some kids might actually appreciate a watch like this because mom and dad will pester them less and be less anxious in general. Of course the main issue is the person purchasing the watch is the parent, and some parents don’t really respect their children’s feelings. It can definitely be a problem so I hear what you’re saying. It can be used in a way that takes away their freedom. That’s not cool. another consideration: this device can be a bridge from a dumb phone to a smart-ish device, a device that’s not an actual smart phone.

cl3misch 4mo ago
> this device can be a bridge from a dumb phone to a smart-ish device, a device that’s not an actual smart phone What do you mean exactly? Is it really a "bridge from/to" or rather a "compromise between"?
- lurking_swe 4mo ago
  well it’s a device that can be smart in some crucial ways, without being distracting like a smartphone is. That’s what i mean. no social media or other cancer for a teenage brain. But it has useful apps for day to day life, like maps, music, messages, etc.
Someone 4mo ago
> which is actually a notification that your child made it to school safely. Look at the screenshot closely (i don’t think you did). That’s a genuinely useful feature. Is it? I would think that the useful notification would be “Erica didn’t make it to school safely”. A notification that kids are where they are expected to be will needlessly distract parents many millions of times, and may cause anxiety every time it’s a few minutes late. I think it would be a net loss to society. Luckily, I don’t think that image shows a notification. AFAICT, it’s a response from a user actively asking their phone where that watch is.
- lurking_swe 4mo ago
  > I would think that the useful notification would be “Erica didn’t make it to school safely”. That’s an excellent point actually. 100%. I don’t think FindMy can support something like that today which is unfortunate. I think the parent could create an ios shortcut that runs at a certain time every day, but that’s a lot of work lol. > Luckily, I don’t think that image shows a notification. It certainly does. It even say “time sensitive”, which is how ios annotates important notifications for a few years now. The FindMy app can also answer the “where is erica?” question (through siri), so i can see why it’s confusing.
agnishom 4mo ago

_AzMoo 4mo ago

Perhaps this is true if Erica is 16, but if Erica is 10 then I would like to be notified if she doesn't make it to school safely.

agnishom 4mo ago
I get how it can feel horrifying, but I don't think we should make this decision based on gut-reactions. Bad things can and do happen to children, but nearly not as much to warrant tracking them. Even if it were, I'd be reluctant to say that this is okay
- bko 4mo ago
  Who are you to say what is okay? She's not your child. Yes its unlikely something bad would happen. It's also unlikely that you would get into a life threatening car accident. But you still wear a seatbelt. Why? Because it's the precautionary principle, pretty much common sense. Yes in the past we let children wander, but if you asked those parents in the past if there was some very low cost way to afford additional security like knowing where your 10 year old is, they would obviously take it. But for some reason people take the wrong lessons from the past.
  - deleted 4mo ago
    [deleted]

rexpop 4mo ago

A parent as enlightened as you should have no trouble asking at dinner—without judgement or advice—"and how was your smoke sesh out back of the 7-11?"