4 ms·

As a father of a newborn never have I ever seen an HN comment so incisive and to the point.

by mynegation 5mo ago

LeifCarrotson 5mo ago
As the father of a 9-year-old I have to warn you: the sleep deprivation does not end at 6 months.
- pplante 5mo ago
  As a father of three, ages 4, 5.88, and 9 I can concur that the sleep deprivation doesn't improve much. Especially if they are neurodivergent.
  - dotancohen 5mo ago
    > ages 4, 5.88 ... if they are neurodivergent. I think they may have learned something from dad.
    - solnyshok 5mo ago
      as father of seven...
    - murderous_juice 5mo ago
      [dead]
  - rubslopes 5mo ago
    Happy birthday to the youngest and oldest!
  - ozozozd 5mo ago
    Wait, the 4 year old and 9 year old were both born today? Or is 5.88 a typo? Or different architectures where floats can’t be represented?
    - Schiendelman 5mo ago
      Maybe they're more dense so they don't float? ;)
- Aurornis 5mo ago
  As a father of multiple kids younger than that, I have a very different experience. I’m sorry you’re going through this, but I’m slightly taken aback by this comment because this isn’t a common feature of having older children. The only parents I know having sleep deprivation problems have very young children. I have a lot of parent friends and I’ve never heard anyone claim that sleep deprivation continued until older ages, let alone that it’s common.
  - SoftTalker 5mo ago
    Yeah it moves from waking up in the middle of the night to having fights about going to bed and getting up in the morning...
    - Aurornis 5mo ago
      Like I said, I have kids too. But enforcing boundaries and sleep schedules is lot different than claiming a decade of sleep depreciation. Kids sleep longer than we do as adults. I’m not losing sleep by getting them up in the morning unless I stay up late on my own, because we both have things to do in the morning.
      - sm0olr 5mo ago
        My wife and I have a 7 month old and have learned that other parents do not like hearing about babies who sleep well. We don’t bring it up deliberately, but it comes up in conversation naturally sometimes. I have a lot of friends who say their 2+ year olds still don’t sleep through the night and say we’re lucky. The luck attribution really downplays the rigidity of the schedule and routines my wife and I have kept for the little dude for MONTHS. It is the same schedule every single evening barring extenuating circumstances. But nobody wants to accept that we actually put effort in day after day to protect and foster the sleep schedule.
        ozozozd 5mo ago
        You may be attributing way too much to what you are doing. And that will make it hard to accept the inevitable negative chance outcomes that will be entirely out of your control. I know parents whose first kid slept through the night at 3 months, and their second one not sleeping through the night at age 3. Skill issue? I don’t think so. And these people are such routine enforcers that they described themselves as “stubborn.” And then there is sickness. Amount of sun and physical activity the child gets during the day, which will depend on geography and the kid’s personality. Our 6 year old daughter sits down, and does a ton of art. Her 2 year old sister runs laps around the house for fun. Her favorite activity is running and slamming herself to the couch. Do you think these kids get similar physical activity? What if I told you they go to sleep around the same time and have no trouble waking up? Edit: Forgot to mention night terrors. Doctor told us about it for the first one. Had no idea what he meant, and didn’t even care to look it up because it didn’t happen. Until the 2nd one hit 15 months or so. Imagine a barely 1 year old in an extremely confused state while asleep, sitting in her bed, screaming, sometimes hitting her head on the sides of the bed, getting more agitated if you pick her up. I read that it can last up to 30 minutes. Thank god ours were no longer than 5 minutes. It’s horrific when it happens for the first time. Straight out of the Exorcist movie.
- apaprocki 5mo ago
  The battlefield changes as kids age. It’s impossible to have any realistic discussion about sleep habits without discussing the elephant in the room. What is your device policy and how do you manage screen time, what your bedtime routine is (you better have one!) and how good you are at sticking to the timing on a daily basis.
- senectus1 5mo ago
  My son started sleeping through at 6 weeks... my daughter on the hand took more than twice that to start sleeping through. she was hard work.
- jonplackett 5mo ago
  Yeah it comes and goes doesn’t it. My 8 year old started waking us up twice a night for a week a while back! But subjecting non-parents to 9 years of sleep deprivation would definitely be against the Geneva convention.
- Fire-Dragon-DoL 5mo ago
  It does depend on the child and you have to make compromises. My daughter would sleep only on humans, so we started napping with her on our bodies at some point. That's how we gained back sleep, lol
ray_v 5mo ago
Congrats and guard your sleep hygiene as much as possible (practically impossible advice to follow in most cases). I went through a really rough period because of the lack of sleep. I noticed that hydration during that period was also challenging, so I wonder if this is related to the brain shrink effect. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/323595 https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/323595
jonplackett 5mo ago
Ah thanks! This is the nicest response to a comment I’ve received. Hang in there with the 6 month old. It gets easier every month. Mine are 4 and 8 now. Sometimes I really miss having a tiny baby - but I do like sleeping now.

As a father of a newborn never have I ever seen an HN comment so incisive and to the point.

LeifCarrotson 5mo ago

As the father of a 9-year-old I have to warn you: the sleep deprivation does not end at 6 months.

pplante 5mo ago
As a father of three, ages 4, 5.88, and 9 I can concur that the sleep deprivation doesn't improve much. Especially if they are neurodivergent.
- dotancohen 5mo ago
  > ages 4, 5.88 ... if they are neurodivergent. I think they may have learned something from dad.
  - solnyshok 5mo ago
    as father of seven...
  - murderous_juice 5mo ago
    [dead]
- rubslopes 5mo ago
  Happy birthday to the youngest and oldest!
- ozozozd 5mo ago
  Wait, the 4 year old and 9 year old were both born today? Or is 5.88 a typo? Or different architectures where floats can’t be represented?
  - Schiendelman 5mo ago
    Maybe they're more dense so they don't float? ;)
Aurornis 5mo ago
As a father of multiple kids younger than that, I have a very different experience. I’m sorry you’re going through this, but I’m slightly taken aback by this comment because this isn’t a common feature of having older children. The only parents I know having sleep deprivation problems have very young children. I have a lot of parent friends and I’ve never heard anyone claim that sleep deprivation continued until older ages, let alone that it’s common.
- SoftTalker 5mo ago
  Yeah it moves from waking up in the middle of the night to having fights about going to bed and getting up in the morning...
  - Aurornis 5mo ago
    Like I said, I have kids too. But enforcing boundaries and sleep schedules is lot different than claiming a decade of sleep depreciation. Kids sleep longer than we do as adults. I’m not losing sleep by getting them up in the morning unless I stay up late on my own, because we both have things to do in the morning.
    - sm0olr 5mo ago
      My wife and I have a 7 month old and have learned that other parents do not like hearing about babies who sleep well. We don’t bring it up deliberately, but it comes up in conversation naturally sometimes. I have a lot of friends who say their 2+ year olds still don’t sleep through the night and say we’re lucky. The luck attribution really downplays the rigidity of the schedule and routines my wife and I have kept for the little dude for MONTHS. It is the same schedule every single evening barring extenuating circumstances. But nobody wants to accept that we actually put effort in day after day to protect and foster the sleep schedule.
      - ozozozd 5mo ago
        You may be attributing way too much to what you are doing. And that will make it hard to accept the inevitable negative chance outcomes that will be entirely out of your control. I know parents whose first kid slept through the night at 3 months, and their second one not sleeping through the night at age 3. Skill issue? I don’t think so. And these people are such routine enforcers that they described themselves as “stubborn.” And then there is sickness. Amount of sun and physical activity the child gets during the day, which will depend on geography and the kid’s personality. Our 6 year old daughter sits down, and does a ton of art. Her 2 year old sister runs laps around the house for fun. Her favorite activity is running and slamming herself to the couch. Do you think these kids get similar physical activity? What if I told you they go to sleep around the same time and have no trouble waking up? Edit: Forgot to mention night terrors. Doctor told us about it for the first one. Had no idea what he meant, and didn’t even care to look it up because it didn’t happen. Until the 2nd one hit 15 months or so. Imagine a barely 1 year old in an extremely confused state while asleep, sitting in her bed, screaming, sometimes hitting her head on the sides of the bed, getting more agitated if you pick her up. I read that it can last up to 30 minutes. Thank god ours were no longer than 5 minutes. It’s horrific when it happens for the first time. Straight out of the Exorcist movie.
apaprocki 5mo ago
The battlefield changes as kids age. It’s impossible to have any realistic discussion about sleep habits without discussing the elephant in the room. What is your device policy and how do you manage screen time, what your bedtime routine is (you better have one!) and how good you are at sticking to the timing on a daily basis.
senectus1 5mo ago
My son started sleeping through at 6 weeks... my daughter on the hand took more than twice that to start sleeping through. she was hard work.
jonplackett 5mo ago
Yeah it comes and goes doesn’t it. My 8 year old started waking us up twice a night for a week a while back! But subjecting non-parents to 9 years of sleep deprivation would definitely be against the Geneva convention.
Fire-Dragon-DoL 5mo ago
It does depend on the child and you have to make compromises. My daughter would sleep only on humans, so we started napping with her on our bodies at some point. That's how we gained back sleep, lol

ray_v 5mo ago

Congrats and guard your sleep hygiene as much as possible (practically impossible advice to follow in most cases). I went through a really rough period because of the lack of sleep. I noticed that hydration during that period was also challenging, so I wonder if this is related to the brain shrink effect. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/323595 https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/323595

jonplackett 5mo ago

Ah thanks! This is the nicest response to a comment I’ve received. Hang in there with the 6 month old. It gets easier every month. Mine are 4 and 8 now. Sometimes I really miss having a tiny baby - but I do like sleeping now.