4 ms·
Yup. Woke up at 6am. Child 1 woke up at 7am. Dropped her off at daycare at 8am. All the other children were being dropped off by their dads, too. Full day
by pkaler 5mo ago
Yup.
Woke up at 6am. Child 1 woke up at 7am. Dropped her off at daycare at 8am. All the other children were being dropped off by their dads, too. Full day of work ahead. Dinner at 6pm. Bath at 7pm. Bedtime and story at 8pm. Usually calls with Bangalore from 9pm to midnight but it's Labour Day over there. Sleep at midnight.
Rinse. Repeat.
- basisword 5mo agoMy one concern with this is the risk of eventual burn out + mental health issues which will have its own impact on the children. Full time career + very present parent during the weekdays might just not be possible. WFH definitely helps make it significantly more possible though. Also worth not forgetting that in most cases the fathers of millennials were a hell of a lot more present and emotionally available than their fathers etc. I'm sure we'll make plenty of our own mistakes that our children will try to avoid when their turn comes.
- mschuster91 5mo ago> Full time career + very present parent during the weekdays might just not be possible. Guess why birth rates are crashing - and why they crash hardest in Asia, especially Japan.
- purplerabbit 5mo agoAnd guess why trad household structures are (still) popular in some circles
- watwut 5mo agoThey are way more popular among men then women. The thing is, women were mostly living that ... it is new only for men
- mitthrowaway2 5mo agoWhat do you mean?
- michaelchisari 5mo agoExcept "trad" households (full time SAHM in a nuclear home) are not traditional. Tradition is not something only the upper-middle class in a post-war boom attained for a short period of time. Throughout human history, it was rare for only two people to raise a child, let alone one. Or for women to not bring money into the home. Like many "trad" trends, it's based more on advertising and television than history.
- compiler-guy 5mo agoAt the very least, you need a whole society of aunts and uncles and grandparents and cousins, and deep friends to truly do any kind of traditional family structure in the traditional way. Otherwise it's just emulating an extremely narrow portion of the trad that didn't exactly exist in the first place.
- mschuster91 5mo ago> At the very least, you need a whole society of aunts and uncles and grandparents and cousins, and deep friends to truly do any kind of traditional family structure in the traditional way. "It takes a village to raise a child" was meant literally. However, the glory of capitalism required people to move to where the jobs were, turning that millennia-old principle upside down ever since industrialization. And car culture was the ultimate fatal blow, when children can't even walk their own neighborhood any more.
- krapp 5mo agoI remember when Hillary Clinton said "it takes a village to raise a child" and she was mocked by conservatives and accused of undermining parental rights and wanting governments to control families. And when BLM made it part of their charter to encourage community support for children beyond the typical nuclear unit they were accused of a radical Marxist agenda to "destroy families." For some reason the very concept of extended families and community engenders deep anger and hostility from some Americans, and that's odd for a nation of immigrants considering how common the "whole society of aunts and uncles and grandparents and cousins" is in the rest of the world.
- nradov 5mo agoThose household structures aren'tpopular, they're just common when women have no other options. I have nothing against those structures, they work great for some families. But the reality is that they often force the wife into becoming an unpaid caregiver for her in-laws (who constantly criticize how she runs the household).
- purplerabbit 5mo agoSo confidently stated! My wife had ludicrous options and chose it — what draws you to this conclusion?
- illiac786 5mo agoParent said often, not always. Counter examples is an anecdote. I would like to see good statistics on this. And your wife’s opinion on her choices.
- xboxnolifes 5mo agoThe counter example my be anecdotal, but the original claim is also baseless. It's not anecdote vs data, it's anecdote vs nothing.
- illiac786 5mo agoAgreed, when I asked for statistics I was addressing the parent comment, that might have been unclear.
- purplerabbit 5mo agoI'd love to see statistics as well. My wife self-reports as very happy and talks a lot about how proud she is of the decision. I'll acknowledge that we are privileged in terms of support -- 3 relative families within 30 minutes and most people in a 100 meter radius attend the same church. Even in our setup, however, we really wish we could swing a multi-generational setup and have grandparents around all the time. Maybe the Amish are on to something!
- ai_terk_er_jerb 5mo ago[dead]
- veryfancy 5mo agoAnd it’s great.
- grvdrm 5mo agoAre the 9pm and later calls w/Bangalore an every day thing? Here's my routine. 5am: wake up/coffee 5:30ish: gym 6:30ish: back, clean kitchen, take out trash, make lunch for 2 kids 7:30: nanny arrives, and I sit down at desk, and kids are now awake 8:30: walk older kid to school 9-5:30: work or whatever else. I run my own business so some days feel very busy, some the opposite. I just try to be intentional with my time. 5:30 p: start dinner 6:30 p: dinner (or earlier depending on demands) 7:30 p: kid bed time 8:15-8:30: done w/kids. time for a bit of TV or wind-down, catch up with my wife about her day for as long as I can manage to stay awake 9:30-10: bed time (ideal day) I stopped working at night unless it is critical for a next-morning thing. That leaves me absent from some opportunities that I might otherwise get spending more time on work, but I also have more time to focus on me/marriage/non-work-life My point in sharing is that I make space on purpose for me. Your schedule sounds (and I am presuming) like you don't have much time for you. Is that right?
- retired 5mo agoI'm in awe of people who are able to wake up in the middle of the night voluntarily!
- mekdoonggi 5mo agoDon't take this as criticism, but I wonder if you could ask the Bangalore folks to get to their point faster and get some more sleep. Very important for health.