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As someone who identifies as autistic, I learned to smile and just listen. I’ll ask questions and try and put my little anecdotes in but for the most part I jus
by reactordev 6mo ago
As someone who identifies as autistic, I learned to smile and just listen. I’ll ask questions and try and put my little anecdotes in but for the most part I just let other people talk. Works reasonably well. I usually run afoul when the situation is serious and I show up with my smile.
- bananaflag 6mo agoWhat about when people start making fun of you for being silent?
- ashtonshears 6mo agoGiven the context of the discussion is about lacking social cues, its not possible to know the social setting to give you specific advice. However, I would suggest considering if the ‘making fun’ is in casual conversation or truly adversary. In casual conversation of someone making jest about your lack of speaking, just smile and say you are having a good time listening and hanging out. If they are actually making fun of you, never associate with those people again, they suck
- reactordev 6mo agoEmphasis on that last part. Hurt people hurt people, don’t let them hurt you too.
- gib444 6mo agoBut smile in the /correct/ way, else you'll be judged for smiling weirdly. Sigh
- reactordev 6mo agoSmile like you just saw a puppy, you’ll be fine.
- doubled112 6mo agoInstructions unclear. I don't usually smile at puppies, I point them out to my wife. She does the smiling for us. What if she isn't there? Who will do the smiling?
- reactordev 6mo agoWhat makes you happy when you see it? Imagine that.
- balamatom 6mo agoI don't know about you, but things that make me happy and things that automatically make me bare my teeth at them are not the same things. Deal with it.
- bityard 6mo agoAs someone who is not autistic, just tends towards very socially awkward, this is what I do as well. Active listening is a skill I developed by accident out of not having much to contribute to most conversations. As time went on, I saw that most people appreciate just being heard and worked on it more deliberately. It's not all puppies and rainbows of course, because some people can't hold a conversation without being led through it by the hand, which is exhausting. And others think everyone else is always so fascinated with what they have to say that they never stop for you to get a word in edgewise. But, active listening accounts for the majority of my social skills, for better or worse.
- deleted 6mo ago[deleted]