6 ms·
I'm struggling and I don't have anyone else to share this with except you
I'm hurting in ways that I haven't in a long time. I work corporate, I'm in my 30s, support my wife and kids. I come to work every day and work hard, but more than that, I'm some who gets along with absolutely everyone. I listen to people. I elevate them. I validate them. That is just my personality type.
But I keep finding out that people go out of their way to say something negative about me. The way I find out is through my boss. My boss then addresses it with me.
Today I found out a former manager who worked here for only two months on our team told my boss that I was on my phone all day and taking call after call. I know what day this was because she even mentioned the topic I was talking about (i.e., I was getting a lumber quote for a personal project; call lasted maybe two minutes). That was the ONLY call I took that day, and I hate being on my phone during. So that was not true either.
Another person "told" on me, saying that I'm in the bathroom too much and that I they saw me on FaceTime. I have only taken one impromptu FaceTime call in 3+ years working here. I guess that's all it took.
Another Director gave me a slide deck to make into a training course. I am not going to give myself the discretion to change their content since they are the subject matter experts. So I make the training, and this director goes to talk to my boss about me, literally yelling, "Why would he turn in something with so many duplicitous sections." I was only basing the content off of what the Director gave me and was happy to change it at their request during the feedback phase. No, instead, I was immediately portrayed in a negative light.
What's crazy is that all the people that have gone out of their way to talk bad about me, are people that I have been relatively close to at work. When I had my second born, one of them referred to herself as the "corporate grandma" to my newborn. The other one gives me hugs when she hasn't seen my in a while. Another person that talked bad about me was my childhood friend.
They have talked bad about other colleagues in front of me and this made me learn a valuable lesson: those who talk bad about others to you, will talk bad about you to others.
I walked out of my one-on-one today with a heavy heart wondering how people could be this way. I'm trying to think of what I did to these people and I can objectively say that I have gone out of my way to be a team player, considerate, kind, and always positive.
I know I shouldn't care what people think or say, but even I don't understand why this has affected me so much. I won't lose any sleep over it, but I did have to hold the tears back.
Literally, nobody is my friend here. It's crazy how disloyal everyone is. There's no humanity. There's very few real relationships where there is a true care for one another.
I don't know man, I think I'm done with corporate. I love my job, my field, the work I do. But I've gone through this one too many times for me to believe that eventually I will walk into an organization where everyone is rooting for each other. I get it that this is life; the real world. But I'm not okay with it. It feels degrading.
I feel so alone at work. I feel like my job is in jeopardy now because all these people are in our Chief's ears, and it makes me think about my wife and kids and it breaks me to think that my ability to provide for them can disappear from one day to the next.
I think I'm done man. I love construction. I think I may just get started on building that up.
- beeburrt 7mo agoI'm sorry you're struggling bro. I am. I don't have anything more meaningful than that to say though. Maybe you could try prayer? I know for a fact that our Lord and Savior loves you and cares about you very much. I'm serious.
- cindyllm 7mo ago[dead]
- owlcompliance 7mo agoI appreciate it, brother. I will pray. My heart goes out to you for the support. God bless you. Compared to other people's problems, my problems are nothing. So I'm still very grateful for what God has given me. But I'm human, so things like what I described still catch me completely off guard. But life goes on.
- password54321 7mo ago[flagged]
- owlcompliance 7mo agoKarm isn't the indicator by which one can be judged. There is an entire world outside of Hacker News. All you have to do is create an account and make a comment others disagree with and bam -- negative Karma. There's a saying in Spanish that says, "Don't make firewood out of a fallen tree." You could learn a lot from that saying. Maybe some will call me a troll or wierdo, but there's one thing I will never be: someone who makes firewood out of a fallen tree. God bless you, as a person. I know we hide behind these screennames, but if I were standing in front of you, I would extend my hand and from the bottom of my heart, ask God to bless you, as a person, in real life. I'm not perfect, so I can't blame you for addressing me as a troll. But I speak from the heart brother.
- PaulHoule 7mo agoTake two of these and see me in the morning https://www.mayoclinic.org/drugs-supplements/quetiapine-oral-route/description/drg-20066912 https://www.mayoclinic.org/drugs-supplements/quetiapine-oral...