21 ms·

I would NOT recommend dating apps, you will most likely not find a real connection there and given the circumstances it might give you anxiety you don't need. I

by drojas 7mo ago

I would NOT recommend dating apps, you will most likely not find a real connection there and given the circumstances it might give you anxiety you don't need. I have had a similar path and situation lately and some things that have helped me are group activities like playing sports (I play soccer), group gym activities (I attend a strength and conditioning class) and most recently Bible study (I became friends with a Christian group of my area and attend their meetings now). Developing a relationship with God has been a huge upgrade for my life which is hard to put into words, but we also need human contact, and I was praying for that for me last night and this morning before reading this. I will also pray for you to find someone with whom you can share your life forever and never be alone again. If I could only recommend one thing I would say start with exercise, preferably a group. You'd be amazed by how much it can help to cope with loneliness and how much it helps to improve mental health in general. God bless you.

butILoveLife 7mo ago
The God thing is only temporary though. At some point you will seek Truth and the world will collapse on you.. Not only will you have an existential crisis, but your friend group will begin to shy away from you. But otherwise I basically agree. I think God is great for you in the psychological short term. Machiavelli to Dostoevsky agree.
- brodouevencode 7mo ago
  This statement is based on a surface level (if that) understanding of Christianity. Machiavelli and Dostoevsky aside, whose criticisms are somewhat deeper but still misguided, there are many thinkers who question the existence of God but acknowledge the benefits of a God-centered society.
  - leetrout 7mo ago
    > God-centered society Need not be Christian.
    - brodouevencode 7mo ago
      You're right. But society where the basis has a liberal perspective, individual sovereignty is held in the highest regard, private property is protected, and the nuclear family is the underpinning of it, I'm okay with. Judeo-Christian societies have this, and maybe aside from Sikhs and some Buddhist sects I don't know of any other religion that does this.
- nlavezzo 7mo ago
  I'd strongly disagree with this. Since becoming serious about my faith as a 15 year old from a non-christian background, my life and my friend group has gotten progressively better. I had an existential crisis that helped bring me to faith - basically what is the point of anything if there's nothing beyond this world of matter? I've not had one since, as I don't believe this world of matter is all there is.
  - butILoveLife 7mo ago
    Yeah... Don't read philosophy. Don't seek truth. And if you do, you better have a new game plan for happiness and your friend group.
    - Abekkus 7mo ago
      How about the truth that most communities are built around some kind of nonsense, and maybe you can deal with a bit of nonsense to enjoy the benefits of community?
      - collingreen 7mo ago
        I can't think of a way to feel more hollow like the OP describes. Not making any claims or suggestions for others just pointing out how different that would make me feel compared to the suggestion. Different strokes for different folks apparently.
- drojas 7mo ago
  This is my personal opinion. I think it doesn't have to be a short term fix. If you are curious enough and open minded you can find a long term relationship with God that doesn't contradict verifiable truth as long as you are willing to question collectively accepted "truths". For me, Natural theology has been one of the main foundations in my path to get closer to God. Understanding that physics stumbled upon the Spirit of God (the aether / zero point energy) and decided to look away has been super important in this journey. If you look at the recent work from physicist Nassim Haramein you'll see that Creation was not an event in a remote past after which God retired to his throne (Haramein doesn't mention God, but he explains how zero point energy sustains all matter at all times). If you agree that there is a Creator entity and you approve Haramein's theory, then zero point energy is the active force by which the Creator operates, and then creation is happening everywhere, always, and the same force that created everything is actively sustaining everything, everywhere, forever.
  - butILoveLife 7mo ago
    I've read 9 years of philosophy. Its never happening. It gets worse than you know. Not only is the doctrinal god not real... not even the Stoic thiest god more valid than agnosticism. (Epistemology) It gets worse: There is nothing that says the words of human are more valid than looking to nature. There is 0 way to factually chose between them. (Epistemology) It continues to get worse: Circles aren't real, they are a construct of human language. Even our knowledge of material things is subject to the same limitations. Organic molecules see the world, and different organic molecules turn this into logical thought. Then we vibrate some air particles as we explain to others. (Ontology) Anyway, its much worse than you think. Do not read philosophy if you want to continue being happy like you are. All paths in philosophy lead to nihilism.
    - rdevilla 7mo ago
      You will be better served investigating alternative definitions of God, such as the pantheistic god; the panentheistic god (encompassing not just the physical universe but the intellectual one as well); or simply the Aristotelian "first cause" proven (non constructively) to exist of necessity by various cosmological arguments, rooted in ex nihilo, nihil fit and rejection of infinite regress (preferring axiomatics in the Munchhausen Trilemma). It should be noted that even the late Hitch was unable to defeat the Kalam version of the cosmological argument in debate against Dr. Craig at Biola University. With 9 years of philosophy reading it should be trivial for you to prompt-expand this comment into its full ramifications.
- abirch 7mo ago
  I would say that the empirical data of the number of people who die with a belief in God may contradict your assumption. I'm not religious but I have many religious friends and family members.
- un-diletante 7mo ago
  [dead]
kidbomb 7mo ago
Most of my friends have either joined religious groups or running teams. I never realized that, besides the philosophical and health components, there was also a social one to it.
yodsanklai 7mo ago
> I would NOT recommend dating apps, you will most likely not find a real connection Plenty of people found real connections on dating apps. They can be frustrating but remain a good way to meet people. That being said, different people have vastly different experience there, and it can be very frustrating and demoralizing.
robeym 7mo ago
Completely agree. I found freedom, truth, comfort in Christ. From that relationship with God stems everything we need. “I am the way, the truth, and the life,” and “the truth will set you free.”
kylehotchkiss 7mo ago
Nice to see your experience. Finding a good church (note: very very difficult) and small group is the right answer for anybody OK with engaging with christian faith. For those who don't believe, it's harder to find a consistent community unfortunately - I wish there could be more secular equivalents of a church small group as I'd join one and would highly enjoy.
- drojas 7mo ago
  I agree 100% with this
arikrahman 7mo ago
I agree with the Christian group sentinment with certain caveats. They can be clique-y, but if you can find your niche, and it'll be the best time of your life. Also, most "non-denominational" groups do funnel into an ideology, mainly Pentecostal, so be aware about that. The rabbit hole goes deep, and it will be a fulfilling journey, with all its ups and downs. I won't claim it to be your particular panacea, so I won't force it, and won't judge your response. After all "you know how judgemental christians can be!" - Moral Orel
dostick 7mo ago
So many replies about doing the religion group thing, and op saying “great psychiatrist put me on bunch of antidepressants”, obviously this is U.S. centric. And optimistic in this way. I don’t see anyone not from U.S. replying and maybe it’s irrelevant, but think about it - maybe this is the end and you just counting the days until the end and nothing is coming, you will not meet anybody.
4m1rk 7mo ago
Coming from a moderate muslim family, my life actually got a huge upgrade when I realised God doesn't exist (at least the way religions describe it).
- alsetmusic 7mo ago
  As a lifelong atheist and critic of organized religion, I congratulate you on your improved frame of mind.
  - 4m1rk 7mo ago
    Thank you!
- eblanshey 7mo ago
  I know what it's like growing up in a religious atmosphere. Since you've been trained to think inside the box, you realize the box is nonsense. The problem is thinking that the only valid alternative is that there is no creator and everything is just random (the opposite extreme.) Look into other philosophies like advaita vedanta, buddhism, or progressive science like another commenter mentioned about nassim haramein.
  - 4m1rk 7mo ago
    I didn't say there's no creator. I'm pretty confident that the God defined by these religions doesn't exist. Since then, I have lived comfortably with knowing enough that I don't know and might never know.
- fransje26 7mo ago
  Regarding organized religion, a quote attributed to Diderot [0] goes as follows: Le genere humain ne sera heureux et libre que quand on aura étranglé le dernier roi avec les boyaux du dernier prêtre. Or, in plain English: Man will be happy and free only when the last king has been strangled with the entrails of the last priest. However, I like to complete it with a quote from Voltaire [1]: L'univers m'embarrasse, et je ne puis songer - Que cette horloge existe et n'ait point d'horloger Or, in plain English: The universe baffles me, and I cannot conceive - That this clock exists, yet has no clockmaker. [0] https://www.persee.fr/doc/rde_0769-0886_1991_num_10_1_1097 https://www.persee.fr/doc/rde_0769-0886_1991_num_10_1_1097 [1] https://fr.wikisource.org/wiki/Page:Voltaire_-_%C5%92uvres_compl%C3%A8tes_Garnier_tome10.djvu/192 https://fr.wikisource.org/wiki/Page:Voltaire_-_%C5%92uvres_c...
ex-aws-dude 7mo ago
I met my partner of 10 years on a dating app and know a lot of other couples who have as well. You wouldn't know it though because we don't go online to say what a good experience it was.
mock-possum 7mo ago
Advising that OP believe in an imaginary friend to combat their loneliness is a hell of a take

by drojas 7mo ago

butILoveLife 7mo ago

The God thing is only temporary though. At some point you will seek Truth and the world will collapse on you.. Not only will you have an existential crisis, but your friend group will begin to shy away from you. But otherwise I basically agree. I think God is great for you in the psychological short term. Machiavelli to Dostoevsky agree.

brodouevencode 7mo ago
This statement is based on a surface level (if that) understanding of Christianity. Machiavelli and Dostoevsky aside, whose criticisms are somewhat deeper but still misguided, there are many thinkers who question the existence of God but acknowledge the benefits of a God-centered society.
- leetrout 7mo ago
  > God-centered society Need not be Christian.
  - brodouevencode 7mo ago
    You're right. But society where the basis has a liberal perspective, individual sovereignty is held in the highest regard, private property is protected, and the nuclear family is the underpinning of it, I'm okay with. Judeo-Christian societies have this, and maybe aside from Sikhs and some Buddhist sects I don't know of any other religion that does this.
nlavezzo 7mo ago
I'd strongly disagree with this. Since becoming serious about my faith as a 15 year old from a non-christian background, my life and my friend group has gotten progressively better. I had an existential crisis that helped bring me to faith - basically what is the point of anything if there's nothing beyond this world of matter? I've not had one since, as I don't believe this world of matter is all there is.
- butILoveLife 7mo ago
  Yeah... Don't read philosophy. Don't seek truth. And if you do, you better have a new game plan for happiness and your friend group.
  - Abekkus 7mo ago
    How about the truth that most communities are built around some kind of nonsense, and maybe you can deal with a bit of nonsense to enjoy the benefits of community?
    - collingreen 7mo ago
      I can't think of a way to feel more hollow like the OP describes. Not making any claims or suggestions for others just pointing out how different that would make me feel compared to the suggestion. Different strokes for different folks apparently.
drojas 7mo ago
This is my personal opinion. I think it doesn't have to be a short term fix. If you are curious enough and open minded you can find a long term relationship with God that doesn't contradict verifiable truth as long as you are willing to question collectively accepted "truths". For me, Natural theology has been one of the main foundations in my path to get closer to God. Understanding that physics stumbled upon the Spirit of God (the aether / zero point energy) and decided to look away has been super important in this journey. If you look at the recent work from physicist Nassim Haramein you'll see that Creation was not an event in a remote past after which God retired to his throne (Haramein doesn't mention God, but he explains how zero point energy sustains all matter at all times). If you agree that there is a Creator entity and you approve Haramein's theory, then zero point energy is the active force by which the Creator operates, and then creation is happening everywhere, always, and the same force that created everything is actively sustaining everything, everywhere, forever.
- butILoveLife 7mo ago
  I've read 9 years of philosophy. Its never happening. It gets worse than you know. Not only is the doctrinal god not real... not even the Stoic thiest god more valid than agnosticism. (Epistemology) It gets worse: There is nothing that says the words of human are more valid than looking to nature. There is 0 way to factually chose between them. (Epistemology) It continues to get worse: Circles aren't real, they are a construct of human language. Even our knowledge of material things is subject to the same limitations. Organic molecules see the world, and different organic molecules turn this into logical thought. Then we vibrate some air particles as we explain to others. (Ontology) Anyway, its much worse than you think. Do not read philosophy if you want to continue being happy like you are. All paths in philosophy lead to nihilism.
  - rdevilla 7mo ago
    You will be better served investigating alternative definitions of God, such as the pantheistic god; the panentheistic god (encompassing not just the physical universe but the intellectual one as well); or simply the Aristotelian "first cause" proven (non constructively) to exist of necessity by various cosmological arguments, rooted in ex nihilo, nihil fit and rejection of infinite regress (preferring axiomatics in the Munchhausen Trilemma). It should be noted that even the late Hitch was unable to defeat the Kalam version of the cosmological argument in debate against Dr. Craig at Biola University. With 9 years of philosophy reading it should be trivial for you to prompt-expand this comment into its full ramifications.
abirch 7mo ago
I would say that the empirical data of the number of people who die with a belief in God may contradict your assumption. I'm not religious but I have many religious friends and family members.
un-diletante 7mo ago
[dead]

kidbomb 7mo ago

Most of my friends have either joined religious groups or running teams. I never realized that, besides the philosophical and health components, there was also a social one to it.

yodsanklai 7mo ago

> I would NOT recommend dating apps, you will most likely not find a real connection Plenty of people found real connections on dating apps. They can be frustrating but remain a good way to meet people. That being said, different people have vastly different experience there, and it can be very frustrating and demoralizing.

robeym 7mo ago

Completely agree. I found freedom, truth, comfort in Christ. From that relationship with God stems everything we need. “I am the way, the truth, and the life,” and “the truth will set you free.”

kylehotchkiss 7mo ago

Nice to see your experience. Finding a good church (note: very very difficult) and small group is the right answer for anybody OK with engaging with christian faith. For those who don't believe, it's harder to find a consistent community unfortunately - I wish there could be more secular equivalents of a church small group as I'd join one and would highly enjoy.

drojas 7mo ago
I agree 100% with this

arikrahman 7mo ago

I agree with the Christian group sentinment with certain caveats. They can be clique-y, but if you can find your niche, and it'll be the best time of your life. Also, most "non-denominational" groups do funnel into an ideology, mainly Pentecostal, so be aware about that. The rabbit hole goes deep, and it will be a fulfilling journey, with all its ups and downs. I won't claim it to be your particular panacea, so I won't force it, and won't judge your response. After all "you know how judgemental christians can be!" - Moral Orel

dostick 7mo ago

So many replies about doing the religion group thing, and op saying “great psychiatrist put me on bunch of antidepressants”, obviously this is U.S. centric. And optimistic in this way. I don’t see anyone not from U.S. replying and maybe it’s irrelevant, but think about it - maybe this is the end and you just counting the days until the end and nothing is coming, you will not meet anybody.

4m1rk 7mo ago

Coming from a moderate muslim family, my life actually got a huge upgrade when I realised God doesn't exist (at least the way religions describe it).

alsetmusic 7mo ago
As a lifelong atheist and critic of organized religion, I congratulate you on your improved frame of mind.
- 4m1rk 7mo ago
  Thank you!
eblanshey 7mo ago
I know what it's like growing up in a religious atmosphere. Since you've been trained to think inside the box, you realize the box is nonsense. The problem is thinking that the only valid alternative is that there is no creator and everything is just random (the opposite extreme.) Look into other philosophies like advaita vedanta, buddhism, or progressive science like another commenter mentioned about nassim haramein.
- 4m1rk 7mo ago
  I didn't say there's no creator. I'm pretty confident that the God defined by these religions doesn't exist. Since then, I have lived comfortably with knowing enough that I don't know and might never know.
fransje26 7mo ago
Regarding organized religion, a quote attributed to Diderot [0] goes as follows: Le genere humain ne sera heureux et libre que quand on aura étranglé le dernier roi avec les boyaux du dernier prêtre. Or, in plain English: Man will be happy and free only when the last king has been strangled with the entrails of the last priest. However, I like to complete it with a quote from Voltaire [1]: L'univers m'embarrasse, et je ne puis songer - Que cette horloge existe et n'ait point d'horloger Or, in plain English: The universe baffles me, and I cannot conceive - That this clock exists, yet has no clockmaker. [0] https://www.persee.fr/doc/rde_0769-0886_1991_num_10_1_1097 https://www.persee.fr/doc/rde_0769-0886_1991_num_10_1_1097 [1] https://fr.wikisource.org/wiki/Page:Voltaire_-_%C5%92uvres_compl%C3%A8tes_Garnier_tome10.djvu/192 https://fr.wikisource.org/wiki/Page:Voltaire_-_%C5%92uvres_c...

ex-aws-dude 7mo ago

I met my partner of 10 years on a dating app and know a lot of other couples who have as well. You wouldn't know it though because we don't go online to say what a good experience it was.

mock-possum 7mo ago

Advising that OP believe in an imaginary friend to combat their loneliness is a hell of a take