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Counterpoint, my parents didn’t shelter me from shit and my life went off the rails at 12.

Guestmodinfo 7mo ago
12 is the magic number when things start going to shit. I'm sorry for what happened to you but maybe you should start a counselling service for clueless parents and tell them what should they do and what they shouldn't to correctly shelter the children. Because sheltering is an art. I think about it all the time. I always wish some one would take a bit of money but tell me how to guide or not guide my child to be independent in the rough world and to take decisions independently
- discardable_dan 7mo ago
  I watched an older sibling go off the rails. That is what kept me from doing it.
ball_of_lint 7mo ago
There needs to be both things - the opportunity to make mistakes, and the support to make it okay after mistakes are made. Sounds like you got the first but not the second, which must have been tough. Hope you're doing better now.
Dylan16807 7mo ago
That's not a counterpoint. The inverse of "shelter too long" is "shelter less long", not "zero shelter ever". (And the proper way to do "less long" is to slowly loosen up over time.)
- FuckButtons 7mo ago
  I think the point I’m trying to make, albeit very bluntly is people often make the banal point that kids these days are too sheltered because they turned out fine. But they’re actually just observing survivorship bias.
  - Aachen 7mo ago
    How to avoid that survivorship bias though? I'm sure a study can follow kids or look in records, but that takes serious time, so I can understand looking at oneself and everyone you know and coming to a conclusion that way. Do you know if such a study had been done and the results or conclusions are publicly available somewhere?
  - Dylan16807 7mo ago
    The person you replied to didn't mention their own life at all, and they were talking about a good number of data points. That's not "just survivorship bias". The data of college kids is biased in some ways but it's not useless.
lawn 7mo ago
There's a balance to be struck, it shouldn't be all or nothing.

12 is the magic number when things start going to shit. I'm sorry for what happened to you but maybe you should start a counselling service for clueless parents and tell them what should they do and what they shouldn't to correctly shelter the children. Because sheltering is an art. I think about it all the time. I always wish some one would take a bit of money but tell me how to guide or not guide my child to be independent in the rough world and to take decisions independently

discardable_dan 7mo ago
I watched an older sibling go off the rails. That is what kept me from doing it.

ball_of_lint 7mo ago

There needs to be both things - the opportunity to make mistakes, and the support to make it okay after mistakes are made. Sounds like you got the first but not the second, which must have been tough. Hope you're doing better now.

Dylan16807 7mo ago

That's not a counterpoint. The inverse of "shelter too long" is "shelter less long", not "zero shelter ever". (And the proper way to do "less long" is to slowly loosen up over time.)

FuckButtons 7mo ago
I think the point I’m trying to make, albeit very bluntly is people often make the banal point that kids these days are too sheltered because they turned out fine. But they’re actually just observing survivorship bias.
- Aachen 7mo ago
  How to avoid that survivorship bias though? I'm sure a study can follow kids or look in records, but that takes serious time, so I can understand looking at oneself and everyone you know and coming to a conclusion that way. Do you know if such a study had been done and the results or conclusions are publicly available somewhere?
- Dylan16807 7mo ago
  The person you replied to didn't mention their own life at all, and they were talking about a good number of data points. That's not "just survivorship bias". The data of college kids is biased in some ways but it's not useless.

lawn 7mo ago

There's a balance to be struck, it shouldn't be all or nothing.