5 ms·

> People are lovely. Go out and try it. I hope this is not an inappropriate question, but are you by any chance fit and/or attractive? I've heard that and bein

> People are lovely. Go out and try it. I hope this is not an inappropriate question, but are you by any chance fit and/or attractive? I've heard that and being well dressed affects your experience with people a lot. For me it's a mix, the majority at least try to be decent and pleasant, no argument there. But as with many other things, the minority who aren't tend to have a much bigger impact. Honestly, I'd take just being safe from violence from people is good enough for me, even that isn't a given.

b40d-48b2-979e 7mo ago
I'd take just being safe from violence from people You might want to adjust your media diet because society often isn't just randomly violent.
- wussboy 7mo ago
  I agree. 95% of violence is committed by men aged 15-25. If you wanted to be extra sure, just avoid that very specific group. But in general, minute by minute, nobody wants to be violent.
  - notepad0x90 7mo ago
    But then I'd be prejudiced. Stereotypes exist because they have a certain good degree of accuracy, but that doesn't make them right. For the sake of that one person in that group that didn't do anything wrong, I have to try and be fair to the whole group.
    - tmp10423288442 7mo ago
      This is where you use this stereotype to do a more detailed evaluation of the person to decide if they're safe/worth engaging with, or avoid them entirely if it's not worth it to you. You might bring in other stereotypes at this point and apply this process recursively until you have no more statistical regularities to use to guide your behavior.
    - xigoi 7mo ago
      The funny thing is that if they recommended guessing based on race, rather than gender and age, the comment would be downvoted to hell.
      - b40d-48b2-979e 7mo ago
        Funny how? Are you suggesting some races are more violent? Not all immutable characteristics are made equal.
        xigoi 7mo ago
        [flagged]
        b40d-48b2-979e 7mo ago
        No, no it isn't.
        xigoi 7mo ago
        [flagged]
        b40d-48b2-979e 7mo ago
        Hmmmm, I wonder why black people are arrested more.
        xigoi 7mo ago
        Hmmmm, I wonder why men are arrested more.
        notepad0x90 7mo ago
        Care to share a similar break-down by race, income, and wealth? From what i looked up, the average black income is $56k/yr but for white it is $92k/yr. 20% and 7.5% respectively for percent of the population that's under the poverty line. Also for the same crime stats 69% for white and 26% for black is what I'm seeing for 2024-2025, with 60% and 30% of the population respectively. so 13% more for black and 9% more for white, we're talking about a 4% difference when looking at overall crime. accounting for reporting issues and requirements is a different story. Just like your other comment, such a deceptive line of thinking you people like to push. The numbers you show are accurate, but the interpretations you interpolate are lies of omission, or at best willful ignorance to support a prejudice. Even for correlating with age I don't agree with this type of conclusion that lacks the lightest touch of critical thinking.
- notepad0x90 7mo ago
  I wish it was just media. And it's certainly not random, I wouldn't expect violence in a decent neighborhood. But I would on the subway in NYC for example (depends on the line too I guess). And by violence I don't mean necessarily assault, but anything that involves the cops, getting arrested, etc.. or certain forms of mistreatment (even though it's a stretch to call them violence). I mentioned attractiveness because when I dress up nice and lose weight, it's a wildly different world. When that isn't the case I'd say at least 60% of my interactions with people is negative. Out of that I'd say maybe 2% is extreme enough to be considered violence in my view. I'll say this though, I didn't mean we should avoid interaction or being nice to each other in the off chance people are unpleasant or unkind. I'm just saying, don't go into it with that expectation unless you're pleasant to look at yourself. Some people, especially as they grow old (and especially women unfortunately), see a remarkable decline in how they're treated, and that in turn causes them to be jaded towards people. If you don't tie how people respond to you to how you treat them to begin with (It's huge struggle for me, not preaching here), it's less of a bitter pill.
  - malicka 7mo ago
    > I wish it was just media. And it's certainly not random, I wouldn't expect violence in a decent neighborhood. But I would on the subway in NYC for example (depends on the line too I guess). And by violence I don't mean necessarily assault, but anything that involves the cops, getting arrested, etc.. or certain forms of mistreatment (even though it's a stretch to call them violence). The fear of crime is more socially harmful than crime itself, net. A hundred years ago, folks in the US trusted their neighbors more, despite violent crime being more likely than today. The US is objectively safer now, but, ironically, people are more afraid than ever of talking with strangers, and more distrustful of their neighbors. If folks back then could chat with a stranger without being gripped by paranoia, I think we can do it today. Don’t let the media scare you from living life. Have chit-chat. Have fun!
    - notepad0x90 7mo ago
      It's not paranoia, look at this thread alone and the responses from @xigoi , even on HN which is heavily moderated and leans to more liberal views. Terrible people are plenty. I'd think after the past few elections in the US that was obvious. Violence isn't the only reason to be cautions with strangers, mistreatment is another reason, having a negative interaction in general is unpleasant. The solution is not to pretend people's experiences are invalid, or that somehow reducing the risk of harm is wrong, but to find ways to adapt, and be prepared to handle or dismiss negative interactions, as well as value the benefits of positive ones.
spiralcoaster 7mo ago
What kind of violence have you experienced from striking up friendly conversations with strangers in otherwise normal circumstances? What are you talking about?
nonethewiser 7mo ago
Are you ugly?
- notepad0x90 7mo ago
  It's unfortunate there are limits on what we can say on HN, I had a nice yomama joke lined up.

b40d-48b2-979e 7mo ago

I'd take just being safe from violence from people You might want to adjust your media diet because society often isn't just randomly violent.

wussboy 7mo ago
I agree. 95% of violence is committed by men aged 15-25. If you wanted to be extra sure, just avoid that very specific group. But in general, minute by minute, nobody wants to be violent.
- notepad0x90 7mo ago
  But then I'd be prejudiced. Stereotypes exist because they have a certain good degree of accuracy, but that doesn't make them right. For the sake of that one person in that group that didn't do anything wrong, I have to try and be fair to the whole group.
  - tmp10423288442 7mo ago
    This is where you use this stereotype to do a more detailed evaluation of the person to decide if they're safe/worth engaging with, or avoid them entirely if it's not worth it to you. You might bring in other stereotypes at this point and apply this process recursively until you have no more statistical regularities to use to guide your behavior.
  - xigoi 7mo ago
    The funny thing is that if they recommended guessing based on race, rather than gender and age, the comment would be downvoted to hell.
    - b40d-48b2-979e 7mo ago
      Funny how? Are you suggesting some races are more violent? Not all immutable characteristics are made equal.
      - xigoi 7mo ago
        [flagged]
        b40d-48b2-979e 7mo ago
        No, no it isn't.
        xigoi 7mo ago
        [flagged]
        b40d-48b2-979e 7mo ago
        Hmmmm, I wonder why black people are arrested more.
        xigoi 7mo ago
        Hmmmm, I wonder why men are arrested more.
        notepad0x90 7mo ago
        Care to share a similar break-down by race, income, and wealth? From what i looked up, the average black income is $56k/yr but for white it is $92k/yr. 20% and 7.5% respectively for percent of the population that's under the poverty line. Also for the same crime stats 69% for white and 26% for black is what I'm seeing for 2024-2025, with 60% and 30% of the population respectively. so 13% more for black and 9% more for white, we're talking about a 4% difference when looking at overall crime. accounting for reporting issues and requirements is a different story. Just like your other comment, such a deceptive line of thinking you people like to push. The numbers you show are accurate, but the interpretations you interpolate are lies of omission, or at best willful ignorance to support a prejudice. Even for correlating with age I don't agree with this type of conclusion that lacks the lightest touch of critical thinking.
notepad0x90 7mo ago
I wish it was just media. And it's certainly not random, I wouldn't expect violence in a decent neighborhood. But I would on the subway in NYC for example (depends on the line too I guess). And by violence I don't mean necessarily assault, but anything that involves the cops, getting arrested, etc.. or certain forms of mistreatment (even though it's a stretch to call them violence). I mentioned attractiveness because when I dress up nice and lose weight, it's a wildly different world. When that isn't the case I'd say at least 60% of my interactions with people is negative. Out of that I'd say maybe 2% is extreme enough to be considered violence in my view. I'll say this though, I didn't mean we should avoid interaction or being nice to each other in the off chance people are unpleasant or unkind. I'm just saying, don't go into it with that expectation unless you're pleasant to look at yourself. Some people, especially as they grow old (and especially women unfortunately), see a remarkable decline in how they're treated, and that in turn causes them to be jaded towards people. If you don't tie how people respond to you to how you treat them to begin with (It's huge struggle for me, not preaching here), it's less of a bitter pill.
- malicka 7mo ago
  > I wish it was just media. And it's certainly not random, I wouldn't expect violence in a decent neighborhood. But I would on the subway in NYC for example (depends on the line too I guess). And by violence I don't mean necessarily assault, but anything that involves the cops, getting arrested, etc.. or certain forms of mistreatment (even though it's a stretch to call them violence). The fear of crime is more socially harmful than crime itself, net. A hundred years ago, folks in the US trusted their neighbors more, despite violent crime being more likely than today. The US is objectively safer now, but, ironically, people are more afraid than ever of talking with strangers, and more distrustful of their neighbors. If folks back then could chat with a stranger without being gripped by paranoia, I think we can do it today. Don’t let the media scare you from living life. Have chit-chat. Have fun!
  - notepad0x90 7mo ago
    It's not paranoia, look at this thread alone and the responses from @xigoi , even on HN which is heavily moderated and leans to more liberal views. Terrible people are plenty. I'd think after the past few elections in the US that was obvious. Violence isn't the only reason to be cautions with strangers, mistreatment is another reason, having a negative interaction in general is unpleasant. The solution is not to pretend people's experiences are invalid, or that somehow reducing the risk of harm is wrong, but to find ways to adapt, and be prepared to handle or dismiss negative interactions, as well as value the benefits of positive ones.

spiralcoaster 7mo ago

What kind of violence have you experienced from striking up friendly conversations with strangers in otherwise normal circumstances? What are you talking about?

nonethewiser 7mo ago

Are you ugly?

notepad0x90 7mo ago
It's unfortunate there are limits on what we can say on HN, I had a nice yomama joke lined up.