4 ms·
Psychology: Who dont maintain many close friends, learned independence too early
- ralferoo 8mo agoThe butchered title makes close to zero sense. The original title "Psychology says people who don’t maintain many close friends often learned independence too early" does.
- deleted 8mo ago[deleted]
- gurjeet 8mo agoIt was to fit into HN's title limits. I tried my best to cut down and rephrase the title to fit the requirement, while keeping the original meaning as much as possible.
- rossant 8mo agoThat LLM-style tone is exhausting.
- luxuryballs 8mo agothe learned independence has gone too far
- popalchemist 8mo agoI feel pain reading these haphazardly strung together words. Literally hate this article even if the insight is worthwhile.
- TacticalCoder 8mo ago> I feel pain reading these haphazardly strung together words. I never though I'd read verbal diarrhea worse than the ones of french intellectuals but I gotta say LLMs are close to surpassing even these.
- gurjeet 8mo agoI did not feel the article was LLM-generated, otherwise I wouldn't have posted it. Perhaps I've been desensitized, or the LLM have crossed my BS-sensing threshold, but haven't yet crossed your threshold.
- johnnyApplePRNG 8mo agoA common definition of independent is "not depending on another for livelihood or subsistence." No human should ever be "independent". We are social animals first and foremost. We depend on each other by definition.
- deleted 8mo ago[deleted]
- mzajc 8mo agoDoes psychology say that, or does the floating point matrix that wrote this article?
- mycall 8mo agoThere are many reasons that might cause not having many close friends and independence is just one factor.
- david-gpu 8mo agoYeah, that sounds very familiar. A deadbeat dad that was overly controlling when he was present. A mom that was trying to juggle her career, housework and two kids. This meant lots of time spent alone. Can't learn now to depend on people when there is nobody around. Bullying at school does not help, either. Hyper independence is a predictable outcome.
- antidamage 8mo agoIt's very familiar. My father was abusive towards me and so I tried to disturb him as little as possible. He was extremely supportive of my younger brother, however, and we both turned out very differently. He turns to my parents constantly for help (and receives it) and the few times I have I've only been brushed off, and so I've always done everything myself, even if it meant spending long periods living in poverty with no footholds upward. Years later I'm nearly 50 and have transitioned to female. My now divorced mother decided she likes having a daughter and so suddenly all of this support has materialised and with presumably less time to live the life I missed out on I'm making a conscious choice to start being a little dependent on it and shortcut some things that would have taken longer otherwise. It's hard to describe but it feels like I'm living a more normal, less marginalised life now. I definitely have more friends, where previously I chose to avoid having any because I felt like having friends meant sharing burdens that were mine alone to carry. I also see a lot of very similar behaviour in the wider trans community where most people's axis of behaviour revolves around some facet of not having support. We don't all handle it in a healthy way, but I now do my best to help my community find stability and adjust their expectations to having better outcomes.
- david-gpu 8mo agoYou have carried a heavy burden. It is good to hear that you are finding a community around you at last.
- mountainriver 8mo agoIt’s a blessing in some ways, I’m much more capable at doing difficult things without much help. But it’s also debilitating in significant ways, I constantly feel like I need to do incredible things to get love
- vibe_that_works 8mo agoWhole-heartedly dislike the article. Again a form of being atypical neurologically is framed as a pathology. "You are insufficiently clingy to be a good human, and the reason is your childhood trauma".
- jhanschoo 8mo agoIt seems to me that there are nevertheless many people for whom the article's assessment is a true one.
- gitmagic 8mo agoJust sounds like an actual grownup to me.
- Karuma 8mo agoPlease, HN mods, no more ChatGPT articles... I'd ask any LLM myself if I cared to read their empty words.
- gurjeet 8mo agoAs I said in another thread here, I did not feel the article was LLM-generated, otherwise I wouldn't have posted it. Perhaps I've been desensitized, or the LLM have crossed my BS-sensing threshold, but haven't yet crossed others' threshold.
- defrost 8mo agoFWiW there are (several) AI "vetting" bots out there, eg: https://tropes.fyi/vetter https://tropes.fyi/vetter .. not my thing, I bookmarked that one from an earlier HN thread, that particular tool graded the article hard over and firmly in "AI Slop" (their term) territory. https://tropes.fyi/vetter/4a753e67 https://tropes.fyi/vetter/4a753e67
- tim-tday 8mo agoThose don’t work. Test it by generating some ai slop (get a 100% fake score) and remove the top five tells. And it’ll get a 100% human score. Repeat with your own writing. Insert a few mdashes and a few of their favorite turns of phrase. To go from 100% human rating to 100% ai.
- etyhhgfff 8mo agoJust another AI slop article on HN. Hope is gets flagged fast. I mean the author could at least try to make it a bit less LLMish.
- jibal 8mo ago"too" seems pointlessly judgmental. My early independence (a result of being the second child of parents without a lot of love to give) contributed to who I am, and I don't think I'm an inferior specimen.
- tim-tday 8mo agoPsychology has a well understood metric for people who keep many shallow friendships vs those who keep a small number of deep friendships. Any article that fails to account for that doesn’t progress our thinking.
- pcthrowaway 8mo agoWhat about people who don't maintain many close friends and still haven't learned independence?
- tim-tday 8mo agoI almost spit chocolate milk out my nose. Not sure why I find this so funny.
- readthenotes1 8mo agoIt fits one of my relatives who is so odious that no one can stand hen but is impervious to learning hen's own faults and can't keep a job so depends on others to put a roof overhead
- tim-tday 8mo agoWeird. Half a dozen comments calling this LLM generated. Doesn’t strike me as that. Maybe English as a second language or someone trying to dumb down their language. Maybe I’m out of touch. The thing that bothers me is repeated references to “psychologists say” but no reference to peer reviewed science, just other articles on the same site.