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I had some really, really bad dishwasher-related fights with my wife and daughter. With that in mind, I found the "right way" last fall when I stopped trying t

I had some really, really bad dishwasher-related fights with my wife and daughter. With that in mind, I found the "right way" last fall when I stopped trying to optimize loading the dishwasher and waiting to run it until it was full. I call it "dishwasher anarchy". It gets loaded haphazardly throughout the day, run at night, and emptied the next morning. It really, really offends my sensibilities. Stuff is in the "wrong" place. We are using a lot more detergent. I assume we are using a lot more energy and water. I also haven't had any dishwasher-related fights with my wife and daughter since we started this new protocol. I guess it's a win.

WalterGR 8mo ago
The trick is to secret away in the middle of the night and do it correctly. Naturally this only works if the dishwasher has a timer.
ekjhgkejhgk 8mo ago
Did they not care how to do it right, or they did but disagreed on how to do it?
- EvanAnderson 8mo ago
  They didn't care about minimizing the number of times the machine was run. They'd put things wherever it suited them without regard for getting as many dishes in a load as possible. We've got a nice Bosch machine. It's never missed getting something clean. I'm actually pretty amazed by it. Since it does well I was trying to make sure all the slots were full before running it. That caused friction.
  - ekjhgkejhgk 8mo ago
    See, you should've figured out these details before getting married etc. There should be a guide for this stuff. Here's a list of stuff that you don't realize yet, you should make sure you're on the same page as the other person, etc
drcongo 8mo ago
This is the correct strategy. I do this, but then also rearrange everything in the dishwasher properly every night after everyone else has gone to bed.
bigstrat2003 8mo ago
Yeah, sometimes the best thing to do is to let it go even if it drives you crazy. I do that all the time with my wife (and in fairness I assume she does the same for me). I only push the point when it's something truly important.
seanmcdirmid 8mo ago
I load and unload the dishwasher, so it’s a protocol by one person doing it. I do have to tell my wife to use more bowl like dishes and less bowels lest the top be too full and the bottom not full enough. I’ve purchased dishes that fit those dimensions (they can go on the bottom but are still bowel-like) especially to satisfy dishwasher loading constraints.
rimunroe 8mo ago
I do this simply to keep on top of dishes. I always run the dishwasher at night regardless of how full it is. If it's significantly full after lunch I run it then too, even if it's not all the way full. Otherwise, when dinner comes around I likely won't have room for the additional dishes from that and would need to do a cycle before going to bed, wait for it to finish, then empty and load it with the leftovers.
Fire-Dragon-DoL 8mo ago
That's my solution too.
rickydroll 8mo ago
Mad Raccoon here. I resolved the arguments by insisting that people nest-stack their dirty dishes on the kitchen counter so they don't fall off the fucking counter and break. However, I haven't managed to break them of the habit of stacking dirty pans and pots at the back of the stove. My ADHD mind just doesn't see them there for some reason, and running out of clean pots/skillets has not been painful enough to them to change their habits. By the way, it's a six-burner Wolf that came with the house, and there's always room for more dirty dishes at the back. I would love to replace it with a four-burner induction, but that's a remodel job I'm trying to put off.

WalterGR 8mo ago

The trick is to secret away in the middle of the night and do it correctly. Naturally this only works if the dishwasher has a timer.

ekjhgkejhgk 8mo ago

Did they not care how to do it right, or they did but disagreed on how to do it?

EvanAnderson 8mo ago
They didn't care about minimizing the number of times the machine was run. They'd put things wherever it suited them without regard for getting as many dishes in a load as possible. We've got a nice Bosch machine. It's never missed getting something clean. I'm actually pretty amazed by it. Since it does well I was trying to make sure all the slots were full before running it. That caused friction.
- ekjhgkejhgk 8mo ago
  See, you should've figured out these details before getting married etc. There should be a guide for this stuff. Here's a list of stuff that you don't realize yet, you should make sure you're on the same page as the other person, etc

drcongo 8mo ago

This is the correct strategy. I do this, but then also rearrange everything in the dishwasher properly every night after everyone else has gone to bed.

bigstrat2003 8mo ago

Yeah, sometimes the best thing to do is to let it go even if it drives you crazy. I do that all the time with my wife (and in fairness I assume she does the same for me). I only push the point when it's something truly important.

seanmcdirmid 8mo ago

I load and unload the dishwasher, so it’s a protocol by one person doing it. I do have to tell my wife to use more bowl like dishes and less bowels lest the top be too full and the bottom not full enough. I’ve purchased dishes that fit those dimensions (they can go on the bottom but are still bowel-like) especially to satisfy dishwasher loading constraints.

rimunroe 8mo ago

I do this simply to keep on top of dishes. I always run the dishwasher at night regardless of how full it is. If it's significantly full after lunch I run it then too, even if it's not all the way full. Otherwise, when dinner comes around I likely won't have room for the additional dishes from that and would need to do a cycle before going to bed, wait for it to finish, then empty and load it with the leftovers.

Fire-Dragon-DoL 8mo ago

That's my solution too.

rickydroll 8mo ago

Mad Raccoon here. I resolved the arguments by insisting that people nest-stack their dirty dishes on the kitchen counter so they don't fall off the fucking counter and break. However, I haven't managed to break them of the habit of stacking dirty pans and pots at the back of the stove. My ADHD mind just doesn't see them there for some reason, and running out of clean pots/skillets has not been painful enough to them to change their habits. By the way, it's a six-burner Wolf that came with the house, and there's always room for more dirty dishes at the back. I would love to replace it with a four-burner induction, but that's a remodel job I'm trying to put off.