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> The OCD mention functions similarly and it explains the overanalysis as a feature, not something that might be creating friction with colleagues. Because it

> The OCD mention functions similarly and it explains the overanalysis as a feature, not something that might be creating friction with colleagues. Because it is both and this is a very classic problem for neurodivergent people. As a ADHD person I could very much relate. My pattern recognition allows me to see connections and structure where neurotypical people only see chaos. I am often three, four, five steps ahead and can see potential problems and solutions so much earlier. Of course this doesn't help. If I point these things out, I will only be met with resistance regardless if I happen to be right later on or not. So really the best solution is to just shut up. Let them catch up eventually. It just feels so isolating and frustrating. Not only do I have to mask the deficits that ADHD gives me but also my talents. I think this is the core issue here. OP is hated and discriminated for their OCD. Corporations are not equipped harness the talents of people that think differently. They are not a "culture fit". I don't really have a solution. Yes you can learn to mask and play the game but that is also not healthy in the long term.

Majromax 8mo ago
> I don't really have a solution. The trick is to be the Oracle of Delphi, not Cassandra. Make the prediction once, with politeness and humility, and preferably in enough company that your opinion is noted even if (when) it is overridden. Use it as an opportunity to be seen as wise, not just smart. Then, keep contingency plans. When the problem manifests, have a solution ready as best you can given your limited position. Even when it's too late to avoid the whole problem, you might be able to limit the blast radius. Again, be public but polite about it, and most importantly never say "I told you so" or otherwise appear smug. You want to cultivate the reputation of "the person who is right but easy to work with, and who always has your back in a pinch."
jtrn 8mo ago
I find that there is a big difference between how people that use the fact that they are "A perfectionist OCD person". Some wield it at a weapon. Some use it as an excuse. Some start with the assumption that it can be harness into something good. And some beat them self up over it uses it to degrade them self. I think its most helpful to view it as a "know thy self" data point, and not make it someone else problem, but use it as information as to what is ones own challenges that must be kept in check. And if one is relay good, use it for something productive.
- theonething 8mo ago
  I'd love to have a counselor like you. How can I employ your services?
- cardanome 8mo ago
  > not make it someone else problem A great way for cultivating internalized self hatred and burn out. You approach isn't wrong per se and might be the right one for some people. Some people need to be told to take more personal responsibility But other people take too much personal responsibility already and only blame themselves and need to be told that they have a disability and it is their right to ask for accessibility and help. That the world is part of the problem. So it depends.
  - jtrn 8mo ago
    The people to who take too much responsibility are not the one that "makes it other peoples problem", unless they are suffering from a dependent personality disorder. And even then, consider rearranging what you just said in your reply. You are saying: You have to make it someone else problem to avoid self hatred and burnout. There is a difference in relying and getting support from people, and being a jackass.
jtrn 8mo ago
I'd push back gently on 'just shut up' as the solution. In my experience, people like you are usually CORRECT about the problem, and the anger and annoyance is well funded. It can be annoyance with the bad architecture, the wasteful meetings, the dysfunctional team dynamics. But you are falling into the same pattern as the author... Where it breaks down is treating 'being right' as the end of the job. Figuring out how to get others to see what you see, that's the actual unsolved problem, and it is more often than not solvable. Giving up on it means real problems stay unfixed, which helps nobody. If you channel the energy into solving what annoys you, in a productive way, you make both your life and your team better.
- matwood 8mo ago
  > Where it breaks down is treating 'being right' as the end of the job. I ask myself many times a day, 'do I want to be right or effective?'
- ferroman 8mo ago
  > Figuring out how to get others to see what you see but this is exactly the point of article: event if you make them see, they just pretend they don't because it's not in their personal immediate interest to admit you are right or you were right (later)
matwood 8mo ago
> My pattern recognition allows me to see connections and structure where neurotypical people only see chaos. I am often three, four, five steps ahead and can see potential problems and solutions so much earlier. A little humility would probably help a lot. Your post is already blaming everyone else for not listening to you. This isn't really about you thinking differently.
- cardanome 8mo ago
  Oh I am sorry for highlighting one of the side effects of my crippling disability. I did not even present it as an advantage but as something that causes feelings of isolation but I guess I am bragging about it and need more humility. My brain's filtering function is defect. Where neurotypical people see one or two possible solution my brain automatically comes up with ten which is great for creativity but also paralyzing. Where neurotypical people can easily control their focus I can't. Now I do think people that present their ADHD as a superpower are full of shit but I think it is fair to point out that some of the aspects could also be strengths if the structure I work with would allow them to be strengths. I think that is very fair to criticize. I assure you that a significant chunk of my energy is spend every day in adjusting my communication to the needs of neurotypical people and always second guessing myself and improving how I do that. It just sucks that they get quite angry if I ever suggested they adjust their communication just a tiny bit for my sake.
  - jtrn 8mo ago
    Neither ADHD nor OCD have anything to do with communication style, 'being five steps ahead,' or patterns of interpersonal friction. The only symptom that remotely fits here is impulsive speech, and that's sporadic, it doesn't produce a consistent pattern of seeing yourself as above your colleagues, and its not related to the content style of the speech. This is something i see allot of. People project what they want onto their pet diagnosis, without knowing what the diagnosis actually is. And god know what people mean when they say neurodevergent these days. The only thing i know for certain is that it never maps on to anything from real spectrum disorders. OCD is ritualistic and compulsive behavior, often performed to decrease a negative feeling. It has nothing to do with anything described in the article or this thread. What does fit the described behavior: Rigidity, perfectionism, a need to do things the 'correct' way regardless of social cost,is OCPD, which is something completely different. And there is another diagnosis that is blindingly obvious but i wont name it out here. There should also be noted that there are plenty of extremely smart people who don't end up in this pattern. If you're looking for myths, start with the myth of the troubled genius. And a gift of seeing all possible solutions obviously doesn't extend to the interpersonal friction you're describing. The person you're replying to tried to point this out, and tried to communicate that you are missing something about the situation. I doubt it's the first time someone has. This reply is itself an example that just confirms the hypothesis: Someone offered feedback, and instead of sitting with it, you defended, reframed, and redirected blame outward. That's exactly the pattern I described.

Majromax 8mo ago

> I don't really have a solution. The trick is to be the Oracle of Delphi, not Cassandra. Make the prediction once, with politeness and humility, and preferably in enough company that your opinion is noted even if (when) it is overridden. Use it as an opportunity to be seen as wise, not just smart. Then, keep contingency plans. When the problem manifests, have a solution ready as best you can given your limited position. Even when it's too late to avoid the whole problem, you might be able to limit the blast radius. Again, be public but polite about it, and most importantly never say "I told you so" or otherwise appear smug. You want to cultivate the reputation of "the person who is right but easy to work with, and who always has your back in a pinch."

jtrn 8mo ago

I find that there is a big difference between how people that use the fact that they are "A perfectionist OCD person". Some wield it at a weapon. Some use it as an excuse. Some start with the assumption that it can be harness into something good. And some beat them self up over it uses it to degrade them self. I think its most helpful to view it as a "know thy self" data point, and not make it someone else problem, but use it as information as to what is ones own challenges that must be kept in check. And if one is relay good, use it for something productive.

theonething 8mo ago
I'd love to have a counselor like you. How can I employ your services?
cardanome 8mo ago
> not make it someone else problem A great way for cultivating internalized self hatred and burn out. You approach isn't wrong per se and might be the right one for some people. Some people need to be told to take more personal responsibility But other people take too much personal responsibility already and only blame themselves and need to be told that they have a disability and it is their right to ask for accessibility and help. That the world is part of the problem. So it depends.
- jtrn 8mo ago
  The people to who take too much responsibility are not the one that "makes it other peoples problem", unless they are suffering from a dependent personality disorder. And even then, consider rearranging what you just said in your reply. You are saying: You have to make it someone else problem to avoid self hatred and burnout. There is a difference in relying and getting support from people, and being a jackass.

jtrn 8mo ago

I'd push back gently on 'just shut up' as the solution. In my experience, people like you are usually CORRECT about the problem, and the anger and annoyance is well funded. It can be annoyance with the bad architecture, the wasteful meetings, the dysfunctional team dynamics. But you are falling into the same pattern as the author... Where it breaks down is treating 'being right' as the end of the job. Figuring out how to get others to see what you see, that's the actual unsolved problem, and it is more often than not solvable. Giving up on it means real problems stay unfixed, which helps nobody. If you channel the energy into solving what annoys you, in a productive way, you make both your life and your team better.

matwood 8mo ago
> Where it breaks down is treating 'being right' as the end of the job. I ask myself many times a day, 'do I want to be right or effective?'
ferroman 8mo ago
> Figuring out how to get others to see what you see but this is exactly the point of article: event if you make them see, they just pretend they don't because it's not in their personal immediate interest to admit you are right or you were right (later)

matwood 8mo ago

> My pattern recognition allows me to see connections and structure where neurotypical people only see chaos. I am often three, four, five steps ahead and can see potential problems and solutions so much earlier. A little humility would probably help a lot. Your post is already blaming everyone else for not listening to you. This isn't really about you thinking differently.

cardanome 8mo ago
Oh I am sorry for highlighting one of the side effects of my crippling disability. I did not even present it as an advantage but as something that causes feelings of isolation but I guess I am bragging about it and need more humility. My brain's filtering function is defect. Where neurotypical people see one or two possible solution my brain automatically comes up with ten which is great for creativity but also paralyzing. Where neurotypical people can easily control their focus I can't. Now I do think people that present their ADHD as a superpower are full of shit but I think it is fair to point out that some of the aspects could also be strengths if the structure I work with would allow them to be strengths. I think that is very fair to criticize. I assure you that a significant chunk of my energy is spend every day in adjusting my communication to the needs of neurotypical people and always second guessing myself and improving how I do that. It just sucks that they get quite angry if I ever suggested they adjust their communication just a tiny bit for my sake.
- jtrn 8mo ago
  Neither ADHD nor OCD have anything to do with communication style, 'being five steps ahead,' or patterns of interpersonal friction. The only symptom that remotely fits here is impulsive speech, and that's sporadic, it doesn't produce a consistent pattern of seeing yourself as above your colleagues, and its not related to the content style of the speech. This is something i see allot of. People project what they want onto their pet diagnosis, without knowing what the diagnosis actually is. And god know what people mean when they say neurodevergent these days. The only thing i know for certain is that it never maps on to anything from real spectrum disorders. OCD is ritualistic and compulsive behavior, often performed to decrease a negative feeling. It has nothing to do with anything described in the article or this thread. What does fit the described behavior: Rigidity, perfectionism, a need to do things the 'correct' way regardless of social cost,is OCPD, which is something completely different. And there is another diagnosis that is blindingly obvious but i wont name it out here. There should also be noted that there are plenty of extremely smart people who don't end up in this pattern. If you're looking for myths, start with the myth of the troubled genius. And a gift of seeing all possible solutions obviously doesn't extend to the interpersonal friction you're describing. The person you're replying to tried to point this out, and tried to communicate that you are missing something about the situation. I doubt it's the first time someone has. This reply is itself an example that just confirms the hypothesis: Someone offered feedback, and instead of sitting with it, you defended, reframed, and redirected blame outward. That's exactly the pattern I described.