5 ms·

As a dad of 3 I have huge respect for your 4 and I doubt there is much I can offer you in terms of information but I think I would have more complaints similar

As a dad of 3 I have huge respect for your 4 and I doubt there is much I can offer you in terms of information but I think I would have more complaints similar to yours had my wife not been a lot wiser and more proactive than me, so I'll share. First is where you live. I would have picked based on access to nature and cost, she made us pick based on where other families live and proximity to family. In my town everyone is either actively parenting kids or had raised kids already, so the residents (and businesses) are super accommodating of families with kids. To the point where if I have to take a little one to the bathroom in a restaurant, people often invite my big one (5 year old) to hang out at their table so I don't have to worry about it. Similar for social circle. Because everyone is my town is roughly dealing with the same things it's relatively easy to bond with new people. We've met people talking at the park, at t school drop off, while waiting at the martial arts place etc. Most people are nice if not super interesting but you meet enough people you like. And living close to family (my wife's family in this case) means you have more network around etc. Obviously it's not easy to just pick up and move but I am sharing this because the benefits of living in the right, family oriented, place would have been lost on me. Thank G-d my wife was wiser.

tayo42 9mo ago
Do you live in the US?
- freejazz 9mo ago
  Doesn't sound different than most of the neighborhoods in Brooklyn
- xyzelement 9mo ago
  I am in a suburb that's closest to NYC without being a part of the city.
  - dmd 9mo ago
    I grew up in a place like that (Port Washington, NY), and it was pretty ideal; I'm raising my own two kids in a suburb of Boston that feels very, very similar along almost every axis.
- xyzelement 9mo ago
  To add to my previous comment. There's nothing about "the US" that makes precludes any of this. Lots of people chose to remain (or move back to) close to their families especially when they have kids on their own. EG when we bought the house because it was closer to the in-laws, the previous owners were moving to SC to be closer to their family. It's just a decision you make or not bother to make. And then to make an extreme point - before this I used to live in Hell's Kitchen in NYC. When I visit my old hood now, it's basically one continuous giant Grindr date going on. That was totally fine when I lived there as a single person but as a family person it would be a tough situation (e.g. businesses not geared to kids, most neighbors aren't parents - eg there was no kids in my old building). Now I live maybe 30 miles away and it's all parents all around me. The idea of "go where parents are" and "go where other young families are" is relevant to absolutely anyone in the world, so I don't understand why whether I live in the US is even a question?
  - tayo42 9mo ago
    >so the residents (and businesses) are super accommodating of families with kids. To the point where if I have to take a little one to the bathroom in a restaurant, people often invite my big one (5 year old) to hang out at their table so I don't have to worry about it. My experience so far with a kid is most people will just tolerate your child. I'm surprised your running into that attitude. Other new parents I know that are in the suburbs aren't all surrounded by family's either. I think aging people aren't downsizing their houses and moving around. Careers scattered and cheap homes scattered everyone around. Maybe NYC is just different. I mean I'm 100% sure it's different. I'm grew up in a NYC suburb lol
    - xyzelement 9mo ago
      I mean I think it depends on the suburb. If you moved your family to a place where everyone is a shut-in boomer (vs the grandfatherly types that I somehow meet in my area) then... why would you move there to have kids? To me that's like going to a badly reviewed restaurant and then complaining about the food. If you knew you were moving to a place hostile to kids, why move there?
catlover76 9mo ago
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tayo42 9mo ago

Do you live in the US?

freejazz 9mo ago
Doesn't sound different than most of the neighborhoods in Brooklyn
xyzelement 9mo ago
I am in a suburb that's closest to NYC without being a part of the city.
- dmd 9mo ago
  I grew up in a place like that (Port Washington, NY), and it was pretty ideal; I'm raising my own two kids in a suburb of Boston that feels very, very similar along almost every axis.
xyzelement 9mo ago
To add to my previous comment. There's nothing about "the US" that makes precludes any of this. Lots of people chose to remain (or move back to) close to their families especially when they have kids on their own. EG when we bought the house because it was closer to the in-laws, the previous owners were moving to SC to be closer to their family. It's just a decision you make or not bother to make. And then to make an extreme point - before this I used to live in Hell's Kitchen in NYC. When I visit my old hood now, it's basically one continuous giant Grindr date going on. That was totally fine when I lived there as a single person but as a family person it would be a tough situation (e.g. businesses not geared to kids, most neighbors aren't parents - eg there was no kids in my old building). Now I live maybe 30 miles away and it's all parents all around me. The idea of "go where parents are" and "go where other young families are" is relevant to absolutely anyone in the world, so I don't understand why whether I live in the US is even a question?
- tayo42 9mo ago
  >so the residents (and businesses) are super accommodating of families with kids. To the point where if I have to take a little one to the bathroom in a restaurant, people often invite my big one (5 year old) to hang out at their table so I don't have to worry about it. My experience so far with a kid is most people will just tolerate your child. I'm surprised your running into that attitude. Other new parents I know that are in the suburbs aren't all surrounded by family's either. I think aging people aren't downsizing their houses and moving around. Careers scattered and cheap homes scattered everyone around. Maybe NYC is just different. I mean I'm 100% sure it's different. I'm grew up in a NYC suburb lol
  - xyzelement 9mo ago
    I mean I think it depends on the suburb. If you moved your family to a place where everyone is a shut-in boomer (vs the grandfatherly types that I somehow meet in my area) then... why would you move there to have kids? To me that's like going to a badly reviewed restaurant and then complaining about the food. If you knew you were moving to a place hostile to kids, why move there?

catlover76 9mo ago

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