6 ms·

Not saying it's right for everyone, but I moved off-grid where my nearest neighbor is 5km away. 20 years in an apartment in the city was enough for me, as I gr

by nntwozz 9mo ago

Not saying it's right for everyone, but I moved off-grid where my nearest neighbor is 5km away. 20 years in an apartment in the city was enough for me, as I grew older I realized there are too many things outside of my control if I want silence and peace of mind. Sound pollution is a very real baseline stressor.

tartoran 9mo ago
I'd feel a bit too lonely at 5km distance to the nearest neighbor as a matter of fact I don't think I ever visited or stayed at such a property. Are you completely off grid? What are the drawbacks of living in such a place and is it overall a better deal for you? It sounds very tempting for me too but I don't think I'm ready for this just yet.
- sejje 9mo ago
  I live in a similar place, though I'm not off-grid. The drawbacks for me are that "town" is about an hour away. But amazon delivers here. There's no city life, no ordering to-go food or pizza, no movie theater, no ice cream runs to sonic. You have to plan ahead. Socialization happens online or with people in your own home, pretty much exclusively. It's often hard to find anyone to fix your stuff--you become a framer, a plumber, a roofer, a mechanic. I consider this a net benefit, but it can be taxing at times. That being said, not everyone does it quite like I do. All my neighbors have jobs in the city, for instance.
- nntwozz 9mo ago
  I have no electricity except solar. It works well for all my needs, technology has solved this depending on your needs and how much money you have. I have no water except the one I bring when I buy food weekly/every two weeks. I'm still renovating/building so I'll have a well in the future. I heat my home with wood that I cut on my own property, I enjoy this very much. It's a workout that also produces something of value. The drawbacks can be many depending on what kind of lifestyle you're after. Sartre said "if you are lonely when you are alone, you are in bad company". I do mountain biking, nordic skating and I have a dog; it works for me. A lady friend might be nice eventually :] It's silent, I can hear my own heartbeat; civilization is 30 min away. This is in Sweden.
  - throw4847285 9mo ago
    Before your last sentence I thought, "wow this person is some kind of space alien." But as soon as you said "this is in Sweden," I understood you completely. I don't know what that says about me or Sweden. But it all clicked into place.
    - nntwozz 9mo ago
      Yes you kind of feel like an extraterrestrial living like this, which could be another drawback. I find comfort in these quotes however: “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” — Jiddu Krishnamurti and… “I look crazy but I'm not. And the funny thing is that other people don't look crazy but they are.” — eden ahbez
    - sally_glance 9mo ago
      Maybe because you remember that statistic about single person households from a couple of days ago, I think Sweden was 3rd place globally? Though it's also a very happy country statistically, maybe something about the geography and upbringing which make that work better than in countries with comparable numbers but worse results (e.g. Germany or Netherlands)...
computerdork 9mo ago
Brown noise always does the trick for me when things get noisy, and being very careful about choosing the apartment/room you rent, making sure it's at least somewhat quiet.
TacticalCoder 9mo ago
Triple-glazed windows do work wonder. I live atm in a modern construction with triple-glazed windows everywhere. Now it's not the city per se, more like the posh suburbs, but it's still an apartment, with neighbors. But you don't hear them, nor do you hear the cars outside. That said TFA's author is a real dick and that is seen in the way he writes. You don't "teach" your neighbors and you don't program them in a pavlovian way. He obviously has got an inferiority complex and he's expressing it by playing though in the way he writes.
- luckylion 9mo ago
  He might have, and my experience is that you cannot teach inconsiderate people, they lack social object permanence: as soon as you don't stand in front of them, they become unaware of your existence and thus are also unaware that their music at two in the morning might be annoying to you. Better windows don't help either - but they're great for noise outside. The only thing that helps against horrible neighbors is moving. If you've never learned that lesson, you've never had horrible neighbors.
  - sysworld 9mo ago
    "The only thing that helps against horrible neighbors is moving. If you've never learned that lesson, you've never had horrible neighbors." Having lived next to a terrible neighbour for over 20 years, I can confirm a horrible neighbour never changes into a considerate one. And often they're the ones that never sell or move (why would they, they're having a great time..). Almost all the neighbours properties around here have been sold a few times, but not him. Lucky we've been lucky with our other neighbours who are (currently, and most of the owners of the past too) all very nice people. We'd love to move, but we really like the location, house and garden. That and anything similar is priced out of our range. We used to think we got really lucky with the price of our place, but maybe no one bought it because they knew the neighbour that lived there. But yeah, if you can move, move. Don't hang around hoping things will get better, they usually don't.
    - Tade0 9mo ago
wingworks 9mo ago
I'm sure it depends on demographic/country etc, but I've lived in Apartments where everyone was considerate, no loud neighbours, no smokers. Everyone just peacefully co-existed. (I've also experienced the opposite, and unfortunately, it is more common.)
- socalgal2 9mo ago
  And I've lived in apartments designed to be much more sound proof, then the neighbors could do whatever they wanted and didn't have tip-toe around each other.
  - fragmede 9mo ago
    This is the way. I was a great neighbor, back when I lived somewhere with concrete walls between the units. Also, db meters on ebay are great peace of mind. Mount one on your wall and find out how loud is loud enough to be heard.
- AlwaysRock 9mo ago
  All it takes is one good neighbor moving out and a bad one moving in next door…
  - JoshTriplett 9mo ago
    Exactly. 8-9 people out of 10 are just fine. 1-2 out of 10 (likelihood multiplied by the number of shared walls/ceilings/floors you have) are enough to never want to share a wall/ceiling/floor again.
mancerayder 9mo ago
I can relate to this very much. A city guy, no one could understand my (also) 20 years of complaining about neighbors with loud music, slamming doors, making noise after midnight, etc etc. I lived on top floors, and I even spent a fortune living in a luxury building that was newly built, hoping sound insulation was higher end. The problem is that bass music travels through everything. I suffered from being woken up in the night by party goers, and early morning by door slammers. Once I wake up, it takes me a long time to fall back asleep. On weekends, when I want to stay at home and just play a game or read, people play music in the afternoon and often I would stress over some sort of party nearby beginning that evening, forcing me to find somewhere to go just to avoid the noise. Eventually I purchased a home in the woods. What's happening to make us a minority here is at the minimum: - Younger people are less sensitive to noise, go out more, and generally don't understand how distressful it can be - Some people are light sleepers as well as get cognitively overloaded, needing relatively quiet environments to relax. People like me are in a tiny minority. - Cities are the future, they're the greener option, and you're supposed to prefer the dense apartment life instead of the car one, on ethical grounds. So when I detailed my suffering several times here on HN, and suggested dense cities are not mentally healthy for many people such as myself, I got downvoted. There's a bit of politics behind city living that folks who don't have cognitive sensitivities around noise just won't relent from.
- Tade0 9mo ago
  I also can't stand noise and in my case the solution was to find a two storey apartment at the top floors. They're fairly common in my city. Another thing that happened by itself was my neighbour with whom I shared several walls moving out. His landlord put the apartment up for sale, but a year later there are still no takers. I'm seriously considering buying it if only to keep it empty and my place peaceful.
  - mancerayder 9mo ago
    Or buy it and be able to decide who the tenant is, instead of random strangers.
- Bost 9mo ago
tempestn 9mo ago
Unfortunately this doesn't work if you spawn your own noise polluter and they live in your house.
- hackpelican 9mo ago
  I cannot tolerate children crying or being generally loud.. unless it’s my kid, then it barely registers at worst, enjoyable at best.
riazrizvi 9mo ago
I love to be in control of my environment. In my apartment block that means I rely on my sound machine to silence any unwanted noise. Albeit relatively.

by nntwozz 9mo ago

tartoran 9mo ago

I'd feel a bit too lonely at 5km distance to the nearest neighbor as a matter of fact I don't think I ever visited or stayed at such a property. Are you completely off grid? What are the drawbacks of living in such a place and is it overall a better deal for you? It sounds very tempting for me too but I don't think I'm ready for this just yet.

sejje 9mo ago
I live in a similar place, though I'm not off-grid. The drawbacks for me are that "town" is about an hour away. But amazon delivers here. There's no city life, no ordering to-go food or pizza, no movie theater, no ice cream runs to sonic. You have to plan ahead. Socialization happens online or with people in your own home, pretty much exclusively. It's often hard to find anyone to fix your stuff--you become a framer, a plumber, a roofer, a mechanic. I consider this a net benefit, but it can be taxing at times. That being said, not everyone does it quite like I do. All my neighbors have jobs in the city, for instance.
nntwozz 9mo ago
I have no electricity except solar. It works well for all my needs, technology has solved this depending on your needs and how much money you have. I have no water except the one I bring when I buy food weekly/every two weeks. I'm still renovating/building so I'll have a well in the future. I heat my home with wood that I cut on my own property, I enjoy this very much. It's a workout that also produces something of value. The drawbacks can be many depending on what kind of lifestyle you're after. Sartre said "if you are lonely when you are alone, you are in bad company". I do mountain biking, nordic skating and I have a dog; it works for me. A lady friend might be nice eventually :] It's silent, I can hear my own heartbeat; civilization is 30 min away. This is in Sweden.
- throw4847285 9mo ago
  Before your last sentence I thought, "wow this person is some kind of space alien." But as soon as you said "this is in Sweden," I understood you completely. I don't know what that says about me or Sweden. But it all clicked into place.
  - nntwozz 9mo ago
    Yes you kind of feel like an extraterrestrial living like this, which could be another drawback. I find comfort in these quotes however: “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” — Jiddu Krishnamurti and… “I look crazy but I'm not. And the funny thing is that other people don't look crazy but they are.” — eden ahbez
  - sally_glance 9mo ago
    Maybe because you remember that statistic about single person households from a couple of days ago, I think Sweden was 3rd place globally? Though it's also a very happy country statistically, maybe something about the geography and upbringing which make that work better than in countries with comparable numbers but worse results (e.g. Germany or Netherlands)...

computerdork 9mo ago

Brown noise always does the trick for me when things get noisy, and being very careful about choosing the apartment/room you rent, making sure it's at least somewhat quiet.

TacticalCoder 9mo ago

Triple-glazed windows do work wonder. I live atm in a modern construction with triple-glazed windows everywhere. Now it's not the city per se, more like the posh suburbs, but it's still an apartment, with neighbors. But you don't hear them, nor do you hear the cars outside. That said TFA's author is a real dick and that is seen in the way he writes. You don't "teach" your neighbors and you don't program them in a pavlovian way. He obviously has got an inferiority complex and he's expressing it by playing though in the way he writes.

luckylion 9mo ago
He might have, and my experience is that you cannot teach inconsiderate people, they lack social object permanence: as soon as you don't stand in front of them, they become unaware of your existence and thus are also unaware that their music at two in the morning might be annoying to you. Better windows don't help either - but they're great for noise outside. The only thing that helps against horrible neighbors is moving. If you've never learned that lesson, you've never had horrible neighbors.
- sysworld 9mo ago
  "The only thing that helps against horrible neighbors is moving. If you've never learned that lesson, you've never had horrible neighbors." Having lived next to a terrible neighbour for over 20 years, I can confirm a horrible neighbour never changes into a considerate one. And often they're the ones that never sell or move (why would they, they're having a great time..). Almost all the neighbours properties around here have been sold a few times, but not him. Lucky we've been lucky with our other neighbours who are (currently, and most of the owners of the past too) all very nice people. We'd love to move, but we really like the location, house and garden. That and anything similar is priced out of our range. We used to think we got really lucky with the price of our place, but maybe no one bought it because they knew the neighbour that lived there. But yeah, if you can move, move. Don't hang around hoping things will get better, they usually don't.
  - Tade0 9mo ago

wingworks 9mo ago

I'm sure it depends on demographic/country etc, but I've lived in Apartments where everyone was considerate, no loud neighbours, no smokers. Everyone just peacefully co-existed. (I've also experienced the opposite, and unfortunately, it is more common.)

socalgal2 9mo ago
And I've lived in apartments designed to be much more sound proof, then the neighbors could do whatever they wanted and didn't have tip-toe around each other.
- fragmede 9mo ago
  This is the way. I was a great neighbor, back when I lived somewhere with concrete walls between the units. Also, db meters on ebay are great peace of mind. Mount one on your wall and find out how loud is loud enough to be heard.
AlwaysRock 9mo ago
All it takes is one good neighbor moving out and a bad one moving in next door…
- JoshTriplett 9mo ago
  Exactly. 8-9 people out of 10 are just fine. 1-2 out of 10 (likelihood multiplied by the number of shared walls/ceilings/floors you have) are enough to never want to share a wall/ceiling/floor again.

mancerayder 9mo ago

I can relate to this very much. A city guy, no one could understand my (also) 20 years of complaining about neighbors with loud music, slamming doors, making noise after midnight, etc etc. I lived on top floors, and I even spent a fortune living in a luxury building that was newly built, hoping sound insulation was higher end. The problem is that bass music travels through everything. I suffered from being woken up in the night by party goers, and early morning by door slammers. Once I wake up, it takes me a long time to fall back asleep. On weekends, when I want to stay at home and just play a game or read, people play music in the afternoon and often I would stress over some sort of party nearby beginning that evening, forcing me to find somewhere to go just to avoid the noise. Eventually I purchased a home in the woods. What's happening to make us a minority here is at the minimum: - Younger people are less sensitive to noise, go out more, and generally don't understand how distressful it can be - Some people are light sleepers as well as get cognitively overloaded, needing relatively quiet environments to relax. People like me are in a tiny minority. - Cities are the future, they're the greener option, and you're supposed to prefer the dense apartment life instead of the car one, on ethical grounds. So when I detailed my suffering several times here on HN, and suggested dense cities are not mentally healthy for many people such as myself, I got downvoted. There's a bit of politics behind city living that folks who don't have cognitive sensitivities around noise just won't relent from.

Tade0 9mo ago
I also can't stand noise and in my case the solution was to find a two storey apartment at the top floors. They're fairly common in my city. Another thing that happened by itself was my neighbour with whom I shared several walls moving out. His landlord put the apartment up for sale, but a year later there are still no takers. I'm seriously considering buying it if only to keep it empty and my place peaceful.
- mancerayder 9mo ago
  Or buy it and be able to decide who the tenant is, instead of random strangers.
Bost 9mo ago

tempestn 9mo ago

Unfortunately this doesn't work if you spawn your own noise polluter and they live in your house.

hackpelican 9mo ago
I cannot tolerate children crying or being generally loud.. unless it’s my kid, then it barely registers at worst, enjoyable at best.

riazrizvi 9mo ago

I love to be in control of my environment. In my apartment block that means I rely on my sound machine to silence any unwanted noise. Albeit relatively.