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Go to church. Data from various studies, including those from academic institutions and public health organisations, supports the idea that regular church atte

Go to church. Data from various studies, including those from academic institutions and public health organisations, supports the idea that regular church attendance helps reduce loneliness by fostering social connections, support networks, and a sense of community. 1. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3551208/ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3551208/ 2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/human-flourishing/202102/how-religious-community-is-linked-human-flourishing https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/human-flourishing/20... 3. https://hrbopenresearch.org/articles/7-76 https://hrbopenresearch.org/articles/7-76 4. https://www.cardus.ca/research/health/reports/social-isolation-loneliness-and-christian-communities/ https://www.cardus.ca/research/health/reports/social-isolati... 5. there are plenty more... also if you allow anecdotal data: I have been going to a church half a year now, and the sense of community is amazing, made new friends and know more people I could dream of. So there is a way, there is a light. Never felt lonely again since.

mikelitoris 9mo ago
No thanks. If you've ever worked somewhere that had Sunday church crowd customers, you'd know to stay away from these people.
staticman2 9mo ago
Unless you grew up surrounded by nonbelievers I'm guessing half a year ago wasn't the first time you've ever been to a church and there's a little more to this anecdote.
Yoric 9mo ago
For what it's worth, I tried that a few years ago. It worked for a while. Then I realized that my church relationships were paper thin and that I'd be forgotten the day I stopped coming and/or I started showing that I didn't really believe in what was preached. Got better connections through improv acting and role-playing game. YMMV
- rootusrootus 9mo ago
  I've entertained the idea of going to church. My understanding is that a non-trivial number of people going to Unitarian Universalist churches are openly atheist and completely comfortable with that. So the preaching ends up being more about general good community ideas and less about dogma. I have not decided yet that it is a good fit, but I am definitely thinking that I should foster some community connections outside of my own family.
  - publicdebates 9mo ago
    Reminds me of a non-alcoholic beer.
  - StevePerkins 9mo ago
    I was involved in a UU church for a few years. It's a weird organization, and very unstable, with another revolution sweeping in new leadership (and completely new culture) every 5 to 10 years. When I first started going, it was VERY open to atheists and secular humanists. New leadership sweeps in, and there's a mandate to focus more on "worship" and other religious jargon... and let the atheists know that while they can be fellow travelers on some of the social justice stuff, they're not really in the fold. Last I heard, that leadership wave had themselves been swept out under controversial circumstances. But by then I was long gone. I could never really get a straight answer on WHAT we were supposed to be "worshipping", given that UU's don't profess faith in any any particular deity or pantheistic concept, etc. I finally reached the conclusion that we were supposed to just worship the leadership's political beliefs, and not think too much or ask questions. In fairness, maybe that DOES make it a real church?
- OkayPhysicist 9mo ago
  I'm no fan of religion, but the situation you described is true for pretty much all social hobbies. It's just one of the early steps in making friends. First you do stuff, then you meet people through that stuff forming acquaintances. Then you spend some time forming setting-specific friendships. It's fine to have lots of these, but the next step is to break out of that specific setting. Starting with immediate invitations to adjacent events ("Hey, want to grab dinner after our workout?", "Want to grab lunch after church?", "Hey, want to hit the bar after work?"). Once you have a habit of doing that, you can escalate to invitations to non-adjacent events. ("Want to go to a concert this weekend?"). Do that ever 1-2 months, and you've got a general friend.
Retric 9mo ago
That’s possibly useful on an individual level, but not a solution. If existing institutions didn’t solve loneliness yet they aren’t going to without changing something. Promoting church attendance might help, but so would any number of group activities the issue is why that stuff is in decline not that stuff not working.
zahlman 9mo ago
> supports the idea that regular church attendance helps reduce loneliness by fostering social connections, support networks, and a sense of community. Correlation does not establish causation. Regular church attendance dominantly occurs among people who have shared values (clustered around what the church teaches); that doesn't imply that an outsider can just choose to fit in.
JPC21 9mo ago
I can only commend this, but people should be aware that not every church is equally welcoming. But usually every town has at least one that is!
nitwit005 9mo ago
This is "lie to join a group" for people who don't believe, and the dishonesty has negative effects on people as well.
- lanfeust6 9mo ago
  The conceit behind it is they think there's a chance you'll believe after joining.
- Muskwalker 9mo ago
  If it's not your thing, it's not your thing, but if 'lying' is really the only barrier, note that a lot of churches actually consider it part of their mission to work with nonbelievers and would take something like "I'm not a believer but I'd like to learn what it's like for you all" (or some other true formulation of your intentions) as a valid form of interest.
LorenPechtel 9mo ago
The problem with this answer, as with so much about various activities is that it selects for those who can.
jayd16 9mo ago
"Just join a group" The whole point is that they're not doing that, not that they can't or that its really hard to do.
- LorenPechtel 9mo ago
  The problem is that being present in a group isn't the same thing as being part of it socially.
bogwog 9mo ago
[flagged]
ppeetteerr 9mo ago
Would be great if you didn't need to believe in a supernatural being.
nkrisc 9mo ago
Sounds good, but I would have a hard time pretending to take it seriously. I wouldn’t want to lie to them.
- huhkerrf 9mo ago
  You don't have to be a believer to go to church. Have an open mind, don't belittle it to the people there just like you wouldn't belittle someone's interior decorating who invited you into their home, and don't hog all of the potato salad at the post-service lunch, and you'll be okay.
  - nkrisc 9mo ago
    I’ve been to churches before (accompanying a friend), but it’s very difficult to take any of it seriously. Sure I can be pleasant and respectful, but it’s hard to get much out of it knowing what you now know about them.
fenwick67 9mo ago
As a kid I went to church with my family and it was full of nice people who wanted to help others and were very kind, lots of my parents friends were and are from church. Unfortunately, it is gut-wrenching for me to be in church. I feel terrible, because I simply don't believe any of it. To stand there and be phony and pretend to love and believe in Jesus just kills me.

mikelitoris 9mo ago

No thanks. If you've ever worked somewhere that had Sunday church crowd customers, you'd know to stay away from these people.

staticman2 9mo ago

Unless you grew up surrounded by nonbelievers I'm guessing half a year ago wasn't the first time you've ever been to a church and there's a little more to this anecdote.

Yoric 9mo ago

For what it's worth, I tried that a few years ago. It worked for a while. Then I realized that my church relationships were paper thin and that I'd be forgotten the day I stopped coming and/or I started showing that I didn't really believe in what was preached. Got better connections through improv acting and role-playing game. YMMV

rootusrootus 9mo ago
I've entertained the idea of going to church. My understanding is that a non-trivial number of people going to Unitarian Universalist churches are openly atheist and completely comfortable with that. So the preaching ends up being more about general good community ideas and less about dogma. I have not decided yet that it is a good fit, but I am definitely thinking that I should foster some community connections outside of my own family.
- publicdebates 9mo ago
  Reminds me of a non-alcoholic beer.
- StevePerkins 9mo ago
  I was involved in a UU church for a few years. It's a weird organization, and very unstable, with another revolution sweeping in new leadership (and completely new culture) every 5 to 10 years. When I first started going, it was VERY open to atheists and secular humanists. New leadership sweeps in, and there's a mandate to focus more on "worship" and other religious jargon... and let the atheists know that while they can be fellow travelers on some of the social justice stuff, they're not really in the fold. Last I heard, that leadership wave had themselves been swept out under controversial circumstances. But by then I was long gone. I could never really get a straight answer on WHAT we were supposed to be "worshipping", given that UU's don't profess faith in any any particular deity or pantheistic concept, etc. I finally reached the conclusion that we were supposed to just worship the leadership's political beliefs, and not think too much or ask questions. In fairness, maybe that DOES make it a real church?
OkayPhysicist 9mo ago
I'm no fan of religion, but the situation you described is true for pretty much all social hobbies. It's just one of the early steps in making friends. First you do stuff, then you meet people through that stuff forming acquaintances. Then you spend some time forming setting-specific friendships. It's fine to have lots of these, but the next step is to break out of that specific setting. Starting with immediate invitations to adjacent events ("Hey, want to grab dinner after our workout?", "Want to grab lunch after church?", "Hey, want to hit the bar after work?"). Once you have a habit of doing that, you can escalate to invitations to non-adjacent events. ("Want to go to a concert this weekend?"). Do that ever 1-2 months, and you've got a general friend.

Retric 9mo ago

That’s possibly useful on an individual level, but not a solution. If existing institutions didn’t solve loneliness yet they aren’t going to without changing something. Promoting church attendance might help, but so would any number of group activities the issue is why that stuff is in decline not that stuff not working.

zahlman 9mo ago

> supports the idea that regular church attendance helps reduce loneliness by fostering social connections, support networks, and a sense of community. Correlation does not establish causation. Regular church attendance dominantly occurs among people who have shared values (clustered around what the church teaches); that doesn't imply that an outsider can just choose to fit in.

JPC21 9mo ago

I can only commend this, but people should be aware that not every church is equally welcoming. But usually every town has at least one that is!

nitwit005 9mo ago

This is "lie to join a group" for people who don't believe, and the dishonesty has negative effects on people as well.

lanfeust6 9mo ago
The conceit behind it is they think there's a chance you'll believe after joining.
Muskwalker 9mo ago
If it's not your thing, it's not your thing, but if 'lying' is really the only barrier, note that a lot of churches actually consider it part of their mission to work with nonbelievers and would take something like "I'm not a believer but I'd like to learn what it's like for you all" (or some other true formulation of your intentions) as a valid form of interest.

LorenPechtel 9mo ago

The problem with this answer, as with so much about various activities is that it selects for those who can.

jayd16 9mo ago

"Just join a group" The whole point is that they're not doing that, not that they can't or that its really hard to do.

LorenPechtel 9mo ago
The problem is that being present in a group isn't the same thing as being part of it socially.

bogwog 9mo ago

[flagged]

ppeetteerr 9mo ago

Would be great if you didn't need to believe in a supernatural being.

nkrisc 9mo ago

Sounds good, but I would have a hard time pretending to take it seriously. I wouldn’t want to lie to them.

huhkerrf 9mo ago
You don't have to be a believer to go to church. Have an open mind, don't belittle it to the people there just like you wouldn't belittle someone's interior decorating who invited you into their home, and don't hog all of the potato salad at the post-service lunch, and you'll be okay.
- nkrisc 9mo ago
  I’ve been to churches before (accompanying a friend), but it’s very difficult to take any of it seriously. Sure I can be pleasant and respectful, but it’s hard to get much out of it knowing what you now know about them.

fenwick67 9mo ago

As a kid I went to church with my family and it was full of nice people who wanted to help others and were very kind, lots of my parents friends were and are from church. Unfortunately, it is gut-wrenching for me to be in church. I feel terrible, because I simply don't believe any of it. To stand there and be phony and pretend to love and believe in Jesus just kills me.