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My father in law clearly has severe undiagnosed Autism. But he was a successful engineer and his generation just accepted his oddities as part of his personalit

My father in law clearly has severe undiagnosed Autism. But he was a successful engineer and his generation just accepted his oddities as part of his personality. I think one of the paradoxes of our age is that we are overtly more accepting of different lifestyles while being less accepting of personalities faults. Having low EQ has always been a thing and yet in the social media era we've been very comfortable ostracizing those who suffer.

graemep 10mo ago
There is always a social acceptability component to psychiatric diagnoses. It was not that long ago that homosexuality was classified as a disease. Being less accepting of neurodiverse people being different is directly linked to greater need to diagnosing them as society does not accept their differences. In some cases there is expert acknowledgement that some differences are not necessarily a bad thing. For example: > It can be helpful to think of ADHD not just as a deficit or disorder but as a ‘difference’. Some people view some aspects of their ADHD as strengths in certain situations or environments: https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mental-health/mental-illnesses-and-mental-health-problems/adhd-in-adults#faq-accoridon-collapsed00f5abd-47da-4b0b-a32a-343f0d9ddf13 https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mental-health/mental-illnesses-and...
Aurornis 10mo ago
> My father in law clearly has severe undiagnosed Autism. But he was a successful engineer It's interesting how much the definition of "severe" Autism has changed in common language. Typically, someone with "severe Autism" would not be capable of holding down a complex job like engineering, let alone having a successful career and a family. The families I know with severely autistic children (now young adults) are still working on basic self-sufficiency without a job or in one case basic verbalizations. So it's strange for me to see someone casually described as having "severe" autism but also having a successful engineering career and a family.
- gizmo686 10mo ago
  I blame the DSM for this. DSM 5 merged multiple diagnostics into a single "autism spectrum disorder", which means that the average case of autism became more mild overnight. This moved where the boundary for "severe" autism is in people's heads.
  - nradov 10mo ago
    If someone is able to live independently and hold a stable job without psychiatric medication then we can't reasonably claim that they have a "severe" mental health condition. This applies to autism as well as any other condition.
  - Aurornis 10mo ago
    I disagree. I don't think average people are influenced by DSM 5 definitions as much as they are by social media or TV shows. The people I know in the medical field are becoming frustrated by how often parents bring their children in requesting an autism diagnosis when their child doesn't even begin to meet the current DSM definitions of autism. The social media version of autism has become its own separate entity. This has caused a second-order effect where the severe ends of the autism spectrum are getting erased from public perception. It's really sad to encounter parents who think their child is autistic (diagnosed or not) who run into children who are severely autistic, as often they'll reflexively try to draw dividing lines between the severely autistic child and their own. It's sadly common to see these parents try to insist that "something else is wrong" with the severely autistic child because it's entirely different than what they've come to view as autism through their TikTok and Facebook groups.
    - gizmo686 10mo ago
      I was diagnosed with Asperger's. Nowadays, I say I'm autistic. I don't see how this wouldn't skew the perception of people who know me to think that autism is a more mild condition than it used to be.
      - Aurornis 10mo ago
        I disagreed about the part that the DSM 5 is to blame. If you were diagnosed with one thing but decide to tell people you're diagnosed with something else, that difference doesn't appear to come from the DSM.
- 00518a143f97 10mo ago
  As an autistic who used to have a career and a family, and is now back to rocking back and forth on a chair unable to speak when any stress is applied, consider the possibility that it's “strange to you” because you don't know what you're talking about.
  - lostmsu 10mo ago
    Did you do drugs on a monthly basis at any point in life?
  - lucyjojo 10mo ago
    i mean even what you describe pales compared to my neighbor (or some of my distant cousins), they simply cannot live by themselves. they cannot write, they cannot really speak, they cannot work or feed themselves (as middle aged adults). so i guess it depends on what you call severe.
class3shock 10mo ago
What is "severe" in this case?
- Balgair 10mo ago
  Not OP, but similar issue. I have an in law that has severe autism issues that had a career and children. They never advanced in jobs, couldn't hold friendships, got neglected at work and kinda abused, got bad assignments. They were a lawyer for a long time, so the law itself was useful to them and their autism, but clients were hard. Their marriage was clearly strained the entire time before their spouse passed. It's been years and they still can't grieve or process the loss, likely due to the autism. Their children don't have these autistic issues, afaict, and those relationships are strained now that the grandkids are here and the children have leaned more about the issues of the grandparent. Still, made a successful career of it, saved well enough into 401ks, and is now a millionaire. In those days, their autism was just a quirk, one most people didn't like. And if they had help and strategies when younger, they would have been more successful and had a much better life.

graemep 10mo ago

There is always a social acceptability component to psychiatric diagnoses. It was not that long ago that homosexuality was classified as a disease. Being less accepting of neurodiverse people being different is directly linked to greater need to diagnosing them as society does not accept their differences. In some cases there is expert acknowledgement that some differences are not necessarily a bad thing. For example: > It can be helpful to think of ADHD not just as a deficit or disorder but as a ‘difference’. Some people view some aspects of their ADHD as strengths in certain situations or environments: https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mental-health/mental-illnesses-and-mental-health-problems/adhd-in-adults#faq-accoridon-collapsed00f5abd-47da-4b0b-a32a-343f0d9ddf13 https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mental-health/mental-illnesses-and...

Aurornis 10mo ago

> My father in law clearly has severe undiagnosed Autism. But he was a successful engineer It's interesting how much the definition of "severe" Autism has changed in common language. Typically, someone with "severe Autism" would not be capable of holding down a complex job like engineering, let alone having a successful career and a family. The families I know with severely autistic children (now young adults) are still working on basic self-sufficiency without a job or in one case basic verbalizations. So it's strange for me to see someone casually described as having "severe" autism but also having a successful engineering career and a family.

gizmo686 10mo ago
I blame the DSM for this. DSM 5 merged multiple diagnostics into a single "autism spectrum disorder", which means that the average case of autism became more mild overnight. This moved where the boundary for "severe" autism is in people's heads.
- nradov 10mo ago
  If someone is able to live independently and hold a stable job without psychiatric medication then we can't reasonably claim that they have a "severe" mental health condition. This applies to autism as well as any other condition.
- Aurornis 10mo ago
  I disagree. I don't think average people are influenced by DSM 5 definitions as much as they are by social media or TV shows. The people I know in the medical field are becoming frustrated by how often parents bring their children in requesting an autism diagnosis when their child doesn't even begin to meet the current DSM definitions of autism. The social media version of autism has become its own separate entity. This has caused a second-order effect where the severe ends of the autism spectrum are getting erased from public perception. It's really sad to encounter parents who think their child is autistic (diagnosed or not) who run into children who are severely autistic, as often they'll reflexively try to draw dividing lines between the severely autistic child and their own. It's sadly common to see these parents try to insist that "something else is wrong" with the severely autistic child because it's entirely different than what they've come to view as autism through their TikTok and Facebook groups.
  - gizmo686 10mo ago
    I was diagnosed with Asperger's. Nowadays, I say I'm autistic. I don't see how this wouldn't skew the perception of people who know me to think that autism is a more mild condition than it used to be.
    - Aurornis 10mo ago
      I disagreed about the part that the DSM 5 is to blame. If you were diagnosed with one thing but decide to tell people you're diagnosed with something else, that difference doesn't appear to come from the DSM.
00518a143f97 10mo ago
As an autistic who used to have a career and a family, and is now back to rocking back and forth on a chair unable to speak when any stress is applied, consider the possibility that it's “strange to you” because you don't know what you're talking about.
- lostmsu 10mo ago
  Did you do drugs on a monthly basis at any point in life?
- lucyjojo 10mo ago
  i mean even what you describe pales compared to my neighbor (or some of my distant cousins), they simply cannot live by themselves. they cannot write, they cannot really speak, they cannot work or feed themselves (as middle aged adults). so i guess it depends on what you call severe.

class3shock 10mo ago

What is "severe" in this case?

Balgair 10mo ago
Not OP, but similar issue. I have an in law that has severe autism issues that had a career and children. They never advanced in jobs, couldn't hold friendships, got neglected at work and kinda abused, got bad assignments. They were a lawyer for a long time, so the law itself was useful to them and their autism, but clients were hard. Their marriage was clearly strained the entire time before their spouse passed. It's been years and they still can't grieve or process the loss, likely due to the autism. Their children don't have these autistic issues, afaict, and those relationships are strained now that the grandkids are here and the children have leaned more about the issues of the grandparent. Still, made a successful career of it, saved well enough into 401ks, and is now a millionaire. In those days, their autism was just a quirk, one most people didn't like. And if they had help and strategies when younger, they would have been more successful and had a much better life.