5 ms·

It’s really not fixed; you can easily train your mind to be less neurotic and more joyful

by wouldbecouldbe 11mo ago

aleph_minus_one 11mo ago
> It’s really not fixed; you can easily train your mind to be less neurotic and more joyful How?
- maerF0x0 11mo ago
  IDK if it's evidence based (or up to your standards), but i've heard gratitude practices, cardiovascular exercise, gut biome are 3 of many potential interventions?
- zeroonetwothree 11mo ago
  CBT worked well for me.
- wouldbecouldbe 11mo ago
  The main thing is to start understanding your own neurotic patterns. We constantly move between wanting and avoiding things, from small attachments to our thoughts and habits, to strong dislikes. The more you understand this pattern, the more you can let go, and the less your daily feelings will disturb you. As that happens, a natural joy will start to appear. The truth is, 90% of what triggers your emotions today will be gone in hour, 98% within a day, and 99.9% won’t matter at all when you die. The biggest step is realizing this pattern. Training it comes through awareness. Then, stepping outside yourself helps a lot. Doing things for others, like helping with food serving or similar directly useful things, takes you out of that self-focused mode where everything is about what you want or need. It feels like a hack, but doing things for others is natural for humans. Something that's common in the west: an empty feeling, feels for people like the truth. But it's often a self oriented way of thinking with a subtle form of aversion. This is why often things like sports, friends or helping, can take people out of this way of thinking instantly. Meditation can also help. I’d focus on less rational forms, with compassion and visualization, since they make it easier to connect with a sense of meaning. The issue here with the Western approach is that it's all goal oriented: less stress & more success. This goal oriented approach reinforces self-obsessed thinking; which is why lots of spiritual paths tend to focus on doing it for others to avoid this trap. In the beginning this is a bit of a trick; at some point it will be natural. And lastly, understanding that life moves in waves, with ups and downs that always come and go, helps you stay less attached to your own thoughts & feelings in your reaction to life's events; and then life events will have less impact on your mood. A few mindful experiences with psychedelics, used with the intention to see life’s patterns, can also offer insight. They can help you find meaning instead of falling into nihilism when you realise everything is impermanent (which most people already have). The difference with such an approach vs western conventional therapy is that it's not focused on the content of your thoughts & feelings but starting to let go of the seriousness of them in general. They are not mutually exclusive.
  - 1dom 11mo ago
    This was a helpful reminder of a particular world view, thank you. I think some intelligent people are intelligent because of a need for stimulation: they need more new information, so they learn lots and keep learning and the world throws more learnings at them because they get good at it. Intelligence becomes an emergent property of dealing/distracting from that craving for more information - a beneficial addiction. So when someone like that stops doing stuff, or that flow of new information and experiences slows with life, that craving/withdrawal becomes sadness. One solution is to feed the addiction. Learn more. Do stuff. Don't have any stuff to do? Well other people do! Do their stuff for them!
    - wouldbecouldbe 11mo ago
      Yeah intelligent people are good problem solvers & they naturally assume you can solve your way to happiness by a thought, plan, new goal, idea etc. Where it's mostly about letting go & living. We often also get attached to ways of operating that brought success in certain fields of life. Often subtly tying their self-worth & safety to this identity. This is hardest to see often, these subtle identities we create to navigate life. They help in certain ways, but then also limit us in others. If we become more aware of these patterns, we can keep them when useful, and take them less serious when they are limiting.
AaronAPU 11mo ago
It really is wild the degree to which you can simply dictate your own mood. If I catch myself feeling grumpy or down, it is pretty easy to reframe and summon genuine happiness. Even during intense suffering of various kinds. To a large extent you get to decide which universe you live in.
- lordnacho 11mo ago
  This is a bit surprising to hear. So what should I have done when my parents died?
  - cyberpunk 11mo ago
    Ah come on that’s not what they’re talking about. Feeling a bit down — sure some upbeat music may nudge you out of it, but loss like losing people isn’t being fixed with a mixtape.
  - fragmede 11mo ago
    There is no "should". Everyone grieves differently. Whats right for GP commenter isn't necessarily right for you. That said, what do you want to optimize for? Time spent grieving? Money spent on the funeral(s)? Money spent on therapy? Time spent in therapy? Lack of having to change as a person? Having to change as a person? Grieving "correctly"? (to reiterate from above there is no right way, but some people think if they're not doing it "right" there's something wrong with them.) Just not killing yourself from the pain of it all in the next 5 years? Honoring their lifes properly? Doing a good job of stepping into your new role in your family? Getting revenge for some transgression you can no longer tell them they did to you?
    - lordnacho 11mo ago
      Maybe feeling less sad?
      - fragmede 11mo ago
        I'm sorry, grief is the worst. To attack the sadness directly, which is a result of chemicals in your brain, there are specific other chemicals you can add that will raise serotonin and norepinephrine and also dopamine. It's not the most sustainable solution, however. Other ways of boosting those neurotransmitters include running real hard, getting a tattoo, having sex. Processing the emotions, possibly with the help of a professional, is the recommended long term solution though. It won't bring them back, but it'll help understand the pain, and hopefully heal it.

It’s really not fixed; you can easily train your mind to be less neurotic and more joyful

aleph_minus_one 11mo ago

> It’s really not fixed; you can easily train your mind to be less neurotic and more joyful How?

maerF0x0 11mo ago
IDK if it's evidence based (or up to your standards), but i've heard gratitude practices, cardiovascular exercise, gut biome are 3 of many potential interventions?
zeroonetwothree 11mo ago
CBT worked well for me.
wouldbecouldbe 11mo ago
The main thing is to start understanding your own neurotic patterns. We constantly move between wanting and avoiding things, from small attachments to our thoughts and habits, to strong dislikes. The more you understand this pattern, the more you can let go, and the less your daily feelings will disturb you. As that happens, a natural joy will start to appear. The truth is, 90% of what triggers your emotions today will be gone in hour, 98% within a day, and 99.9% won’t matter at all when you die. The biggest step is realizing this pattern. Training it comes through awareness. Then, stepping outside yourself helps a lot. Doing things for others, like helping with food serving or similar directly useful things, takes you out of that self-focused mode where everything is about what you want or need. It feels like a hack, but doing things for others is natural for humans. Something that's common in the west: an empty feeling, feels for people like the truth. But it's often a self oriented way of thinking with a subtle form of aversion. This is why often things like sports, friends or helping, can take people out of this way of thinking instantly. Meditation can also help. I’d focus on less rational forms, with compassion and visualization, since they make it easier to connect with a sense of meaning. The issue here with the Western approach is that it's all goal oriented: less stress & more success. This goal oriented approach reinforces self-obsessed thinking; which is why lots of spiritual paths tend to focus on doing it for others to avoid this trap. In the beginning this is a bit of a trick; at some point it will be natural. And lastly, understanding that life moves in waves, with ups and downs that always come and go, helps you stay less attached to your own thoughts & feelings in your reaction to life's events; and then life events will have less impact on your mood. A few mindful experiences with psychedelics, used with the intention to see life’s patterns, can also offer insight. They can help you find meaning instead of falling into nihilism when you realise everything is impermanent (which most people already have). The difference with such an approach vs western conventional therapy is that it's not focused on the content of your thoughts & feelings but starting to let go of the seriousness of them in general. They are not mutually exclusive.
- 1dom 11mo ago
  This was a helpful reminder of a particular world view, thank you. I think some intelligent people are intelligent because of a need for stimulation: they need more new information, so they learn lots and keep learning and the world throws more learnings at them because they get good at it. Intelligence becomes an emergent property of dealing/distracting from that craving for more information - a beneficial addiction. So when someone like that stops doing stuff, or that flow of new information and experiences slows with life, that craving/withdrawal becomes sadness. One solution is to feed the addiction. Learn more. Do stuff. Don't have any stuff to do? Well other people do! Do their stuff for them!
  - wouldbecouldbe 11mo ago
    Yeah intelligent people are good problem solvers & they naturally assume you can solve your way to happiness by a thought, plan, new goal, idea etc. Where it's mostly about letting go & living. We often also get attached to ways of operating that brought success in certain fields of life. Often subtly tying their self-worth & safety to this identity. This is hardest to see often, these subtle identities we create to navigate life. They help in certain ways, but then also limit us in others. If we become more aware of these patterns, we can keep them when useful, and take them less serious when they are limiting.

AaronAPU 11mo ago

It really is wild the degree to which you can simply dictate your own mood. If I catch myself feeling grumpy or down, it is pretty easy to reframe and summon genuine happiness. Even during intense suffering of various kinds. To a large extent you get to decide which universe you live in.

lordnacho 11mo ago
This is a bit surprising to hear. So what should I have done when my parents died?
- cyberpunk 11mo ago
  Ah come on that’s not what they’re talking about. Feeling a bit down — sure some upbeat music may nudge you out of it, but loss like losing people isn’t being fixed with a mixtape.
- fragmede 11mo ago
  There is no "should". Everyone grieves differently. Whats right for GP commenter isn't necessarily right for you. That said, what do you want to optimize for? Time spent grieving? Money spent on the funeral(s)? Money spent on therapy? Time spent in therapy? Lack of having to change as a person? Having to change as a person? Grieving "correctly"? (to reiterate from above there is no right way, but some people think if they're not doing it "right" there's something wrong with them.) Just not killing yourself from the pain of it all in the next 5 years? Honoring their lifes properly? Doing a good job of stepping into your new role in your family? Getting revenge for some transgression you can no longer tell them they did to you?
  - lordnacho 11mo ago
    Maybe feeling less sad?
    - fragmede 11mo ago
      I'm sorry, grief is the worst. To attack the sadness directly, which is a result of chemicals in your brain, there are specific other chemicals you can add that will raise serotonin and norepinephrine and also dopamine. It's not the most sustainable solution, however. Other ways of boosting those neurotransmitters include running real hard, getting a tattoo, having sex. Processing the emotions, possibly with the help of a professional, is the recommended long term solution though. It won't bring them back, but it'll help understand the pain, and hopefully heal it.