8 ms·

I feel like this is really an American culture thing where parties or dinner parties are mostly the responsibility of the host. In movies or TV there’s even a c

I feel like this is really an American culture thing where parties or dinner parties are mostly the responsibility of the host. In movies or TV there’s even a common theme of guests judging the host’s hosting abilities. In Brazil you throw a party to people you like and they all have a hand in helping you, sharing the load. Everyone will be responsible for some part of it, all of it is organized informally, there are no real formalities to the event. No one cares about making a science out of it. I’ve never heard of a person complaining about party quality or comparing hosting abilities.

johnsillings 1y ago
sounds way better that way
- mingus88 1y ago
  They are called potlucks or cookouts in the U.S. and they happen all the time. In fact, they are probably a lot more common than having a huge party (so large that you have to invite people in batches of half a dozen at a time) completely planned and executed by a single person. This article is good, don’t get me wrong, but this type of event planning is not really representative of how folk in the U.S. get together
  - johnsillings 1y ago
    I live in the US, and the type of party in the article is way more familiar to me than potlucks or cookouts – but that's just me
  - AmbroseBierce 1y ago
    Yes but it probably has a bigger overlap with the kind of people that would use Google to find an article that says how to throw a good party.
  - com2kid 1y ago
    Some summers I plan on BBQing every weekend and I throw invites out on Thursday. People typically bring something and we all have a good time. For the parties as described in the article, I maybe go to one or two a year tops. Before I had a kid I used to host large parties like the kind described (~15 people tops though), now I just attend and contribute.
lanfeust6 1y ago
> you throw a party to people you like How many is that? It's comfortable being with people I like, but I just consider that "hanging out". The appeal of parties to me is it's a social expectation to mingle with new people I otherwise would never have had the opportunity to speak to.
- dlisboa 1y ago
  Could be a handful or a couple dozen, depends on the person really. Birthdays are more packed. There’s no real expectation in a party here. Usually you’ll call up people you know from different parts of your life. People bring plus ones so someone from work will be chatting to your family member, a high school friend to someone’s plus one, etc. That’s usually how people strike new relationships after a certain age.
brianpan 1y ago
Even potluck parties tend to be better on average when someone or a few people are "in charge". In my experience, even when people are just getting together for dinner out, there are people who step up more to organize. Are you sure there aren't certain people driving these "informal" parties?
- ccanassa 1y ago
  In Brazil, you are expected to bring food or drinks when you are invited as a guest to a party. If you stay until the end, you are also expected to help clean up the place. Guests will often take over certain parts of the party without even asking, such as preparing drinks, taking care of the barbecue, serving people, or going to the store to buy more drinks.
bitshiftfaced 1y ago
> In Brazil you throw a party to people you like and they all have a hand in helping you, sharing the load. Everyone will be responsible for some part of it, all of it is organized informally, there are no real formalities to the event. No one cares about making a science out of it. > I’ve never heard of a person complaining about party quality or comparing hosting abilities. This is all true in my experience as well, and I live in the US. Maybe I don't go to enough parties, though.
roncesvalles 1y ago
there is some nuance 1. Sometimes an "inner circle" will co-host a party but the other attendees are not expected to do anything except show up and have a good time, and maybe bring booze. This is common with roommates and in college. 2. What you're describing verbatim is a potluck. Potlucks in the US are popular among immigrant groups, family friend groups, or parties for clubs or associations. But ultimately they're considered a bit uncool/laidback and don't fit the definition of an American party. They're better described as "get-togethers".
- blovescoffee 1y ago
  I would not consider this to be a potluck. I've been to many parties in both LATAM and the US. LATAM parties are indeed just like US parties very often but in many cases they are much more "communal" without being a potluck per-se. A potluck is still too formal a name for what I've experienced at least. Someone's uncle will bring a piñata, someone's aunt will cook pozole, a cousin will bring a speaker, and so on. And these types of parties are not "uncool" or even "laidback" they can be wild.
  - yugioh3 1y ago
    For me in the US, potluck describes the style of food and culinary expectation of guests. The actual gathering could be fun and wild if it’s a fun and wild family potluck or uncool and lame if it’s an elementary school fundraiser potluck.
    - fragmede 1y ago
      Til you find out that Lucy added LSD to her chicken casserole, that is!
      - robocat 1y ago
        Don't leave your special cookies or shots where norms might consume them. A friend left her brownies in a Tupperware in the fridge at work. The colleagues decided to help themselves (good people, so I assume with the intention to replace). There were some rather unfortunate outcomes including hospital visits. Please learn from her mistake: don't ever leave drugged food where other people/minors/animals might eat it.
jrochkind1 1y ago
I think some cultures are definitely more social/cooperative and some less, and Brazil and the US may be on opposite ends. I also think the US may be having a social crisis at the moment. But my guess is that in Brazil many of the things in this list are things that party host(s) (and their circles) are doing, intuitively and without thinking about it. Or different things with similar effects. I didn't see anything in the OP about anyone comparing party quality or hosting abilities. But when you go to a party and it's a great party, often it's because someone put effort into it. The better they are at it, the fewer people might notice. and it might come naturally to them, maybe they never had to make a list like this (a very particular kind of brain, sure). But a succesful party (where people enjoy themselves and it feels good) has people putting energy into making it vibe. Again, perhaps inuitivley and naturally and because it's something everyone learns how to do organically in a society. But I'm gonna guess this is true in Brazil too.
Aurornis 1y ago
America is a huge place with a lot of different cultures. Even within a big city you’ll find social circles with different ideas of what partying is like. I have friend groups that have completely different ideas of what gatherings are and I adapt depending on the group. There is not a singular American party style. > In movies or TV there’s even a common theme of guests judging the host’s hosting abilities. That’s a movie trope. You can find parties and social groups like this if you search around long enough, but most people are decidedly not like this. Don’t take American movies too seriously as an indicator of American culture.
- thomassmith65 1y ago
  America is a huge place with a lot of different cultures Sorry to be persnickety, but... so is Brazil! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazil https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazil
  - brational 1y ago
    Right. Which makes it even more absurd that a Brazilian would make a singular classification to the whole lot.
    - vasco 1y ago
      So I live in Amsterdam and my friends are from about 6 European countries and we do the same as the Brazilian guy. Imagine being in the playground as a kid. You just are there. And if its fun, its not fun because of you, its fun because of the group which is there. So are parties, they just "are". All these rules you guys have appear to me like watching a movie about a psychopath lining up pens in the living room.
      - robocat 1y ago
        You are just being judgy. Dong think of it as rules, think of it as someone explaining etiquette. That is hard to write down without sounding weird. I bet you are oversimplifying how good parties are created in your own culture. If you tried to write down the actual etiquette it would come out sounding weird to us all. Humans create odd rituals and expectations about everything social. You only really notice it when polling at other cultures - ie is hard to see in your own culture because you implicitly understand the "rules". #1 is amazingly insightful: 1) Prioritize your ease of being over any other consideration: parties are like babies, if you’re stressed while holding them they’ll get stressed too. Every other decision is downstream of your serenity Well written. Unobvious to many. I'm sure we all recognise when a hostess or host is trying far too hard and failing badly. It is tricky to learn the skill of being a relaxed hostess/host (some people do it naturally, or have learnt from others).
pessimizer 1y ago
> I feel like this is really an American culture thing where parties or dinner parties are mostly the responsibility of the host. In movies or TV there’s even a common theme of guests judging the host’s hosting abilities. This is really a function of the type of party and of the type of people one is inviting to a party rather than a universal among Americans. I was brought up that you don't come to a party empty-handed. If you're going to a party where you know everybody else was brought up that way, you call ahead to see what will be lacking (mostly so everybody doesn't bring alcohol.) I've brought chairs to parties; if you haven't ever done that you probably don't know what I'm talking about. There's also a "dinner party" culture, though, where you're going to cook for a bunch of people. They should bring alcohol, but they don't always because people don't always drink, and their bringing alcohol doesn't get you out of providing alcohol. The expectation is that you have a reciprocal party rather than everyone contribute at this party i.e. you're inviting people who also might have dinner parties. They're bringing a guest or two to yours, you'll also bring a guest or two to theirs. The second type of party is more conversation-oriented, and sometimes the contribution you're making is how interesting your guest is. I'm still bringing wine or something, though. Can't show up empty-handed.
dyauspitr 1y ago
Yeah as a naturalized immigrant, Americans are judgy. Everything will be judged relative to something similar. In Asia a party is a party. Food and drink are usually accounted for and the rest just happens. No one really thinks of “rating” it the next day. The whole thing is low pressure and parties are frequent and plentiful because of it.
cvoss 1y ago
There's two modes that I know of in American dinner/meal party culture. 1) Host provides main dish, and guests bring miscellaneous supporting items (ideal for a casual party where the menu need not be coordinated carefully, and people spread throughout the house). 2) Host provides everything or almost everything (more formal occasions, typically sitting at one table; guests might bring wine or dessert). The latter is a holdover from peak 1950s culture/expectations. Many of the expectations and protocols have relaxed tremendously. But it's still a thing. And it's a ton of fun to pull off, if you're into it. A well-executed dinner party leaves me with a warm glow that lasts well into the next day.
- o11c 1y ago
  1 can definitely be split into 1a) host provides main dish and assigns specific dishes to specific guests, and 1b) full-blown potluck with no official dish assignments at all, hopefully no load-bearing grandma has died since the last potluck.
Aeolun 1y ago
I think parties in the Netherlands consist mostly of “have house, bring booze” and things get taken from there. At least, when I was in high school/university (we got to buy alcohol from 16 at the time).
- fragmede 1y ago
  High school/University house parties in capitalist America have a "have house, bring money" theme, because drinking age is 21, so the oldest person buys the alcohol for everybody else, and things get taken from there.
  - nxor 1y ago
    When was the US not capitalist? And you really think if we weren't, the theme would be different?
    - fragmede 1y ago
      it's an interesting culture inculcation process. As a child with no concept of how money works, you go from a world where food and drinks magically appear, to a world where you're a part of the system. There’s this divide as the drinking age is 21, but people attend college starting at around age 18. Far from everyone goes to college in the US, but around 18 is when, legally, kids turn into adults. So then there's this problem where you can't go to any of the legal government-regulated bars nearby, but you also now, suddenly, have the freedom to do anything you want because for most Americans, this is the first time they're living out from under their parents reign. So you have this group, A, with their money, who want product B (alcohol), and only group C (21+ aged people) can purchase it. If the drinking age was, say, 16, culturally, it would be easier to just have and expect people to bring a six pack of beer on their way over. But since it's restricted to age 21+, trying to acquire alcohol becomes a whole thing. Alright, so you're 18, you're in college, and it's a Friday night, what're you gonna get up to? You're still a raging mess of hormones from puberty and want to seek out people you find sexually interesting, and it turns out alcohol is a social lubricant. But you can't just go to the store and buy some alcohol, so you have figure out something else. You can try and have fun without alcohol (which, to the future alcoholics out there: this entirely possible!), or you can figure out a way to acquire some. You can steal it which then they can't check your id, you can try and fake the system with a fake id (which needs to be created or purchased). You can try to get someone you know or a stranger to buy you some, and give them a generous service fee. Or you can simply attend a house party where there is underage drinking where you have to know somebody to get in, but you just have to show up and give them money (for a red Solo cup). But therin lies the indoctrination into capitalism because if you organize and source a keg of beer for, say, a nice round $100 to make the math easier, it has 165 cups of beer. If you sell a cup of beer of $5, 165*$5-$100 for the keg = $725. Which isn't a ton of money split out amongst all participants, but once you put that into a calculator, or better yet, a Google Sheet, then you're hooked. But that wasn't your question. The US was less capitalist before the Internet. Which is funny, because the Internet was supposed to break down walls and eliminate unnecessary middlemen. It might just be a timing thing, though. There is a late-stage private equity version of capitalism that seems more prevalent as of late. Where "late" is defined as since, I don't know, 1920. The particular part I'm thinking of is when grocery stores became chains and those chains had enough excess revenue that they hired psychologists to optimize the store layout to get people to buy more shit. I don't know anyone who thinks that money isn't useful, but it's the concentration of it that has become problematic. That whole "enshittification" thing is borne out of that. Something making $1 million / year being "not interesting to VC firms" comes out of that. If we weren't capitalist, what would the theme be? In lieu of cash, the theme would be bring something to the party to make the party better. Mostly alcohol, but also interesting people, music, trinkets; some other token of appreciation and something to engage people with. But because of the above described process, "just show up with cash" is the mindset for many Americans (including me, when I can't help it!). It's moved to digital, like Venmo/Cash.app/Zelle these days, and apparently the newest generation isn't drinking as much, so we'll have to see where it all goes though.
hshdhdhehd 1y ago
I like that idea as it means yiu are more likely to host a party. It is also less expensive to do so. The UK has a show dedicated to a competition to see who is the best host of a dinner party. (come dine with me). Its a great show but shows the culture. The poor host has to pay for everything, prep, cook while entertaining the guest and usually put on some show or activity for extra points.
- dlisboa 1y ago
  > I like that idea as it means yiu are more likely to host a party. It is also less expensive to do so. Yeah, you're expected to help in some way. The idea being that a party at someone's house is likely an inconvenience to that person so if you want more of that to happen you should make sure the host feels barely any pain. Even if you don't bring anything to the party you should be helping place the table, carrying furniture, doing dishes...something. People who don't help at all aren't well perceived and will probably not be invited again.
- someone7x 1y ago
  I lived in the UK briefly and this episode broke my brain Series 3 Episode 53: > Host Forbes Robertson, the only man in the group, is Ayr's answer to Donald Trump, and his menu plan includes pigs' trotters, which don't appeal to his guests
dm319 1y ago
You've not had instructional videos on how to throw a party[1]? Odd! [1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXRkgtnBmzs&pp https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXRkgtnBmzs&pp
johnnyanmac 1y ago
House parties are more common in America, so that may be a big reason. A party in that context isn't just about gathering people, it's bringing people into your own living space to be judged upon. And of course, many US gatherings are also means to move up the social ladder. Meeting new connections, finding mates, or getting intel on an area. Very capitalistic oriented.
- nxor 1y ago
  So people under things other than capitalism don't behave that way. Right.
  - johnnyanmac 1y ago
    Treat everything as a hustle to further oneself in life? Well, sure. Feudal courts in high class society also do this under nearly any other paradigm. So it's not just capitalism. Capitalism matters less than the hyper individualistic culture here. But one drives the other in this case (other things can drive individualism too).
- hitarpetar 1y ago
  > And of course, many US gatherings are also means to move up the social ladder. Meeting new connections, finding mates, or getting intel on an area. Very capitalistic oriented. just like every other claim on this thread, that depends on who you spend time with, and you can find the same behavior in literally any country
  - johnnyanmac 1y ago
    Yes, everything varies. We're talking about a country so I'm speaking about a country's general habits.
    - hitarpetar 1y ago
      there are no "general habits" in a culturally heterogenous population of 340 million people

johnsillings 1y ago

sounds way better that way

mingus88 1y ago
They are called potlucks or cookouts in the U.S. and they happen all the time. In fact, they are probably a lot more common than having a huge party (so large that you have to invite people in batches of half a dozen at a time) completely planned and executed by a single person. This article is good, don’t get me wrong, but this type of event planning is not really representative of how folk in the U.S. get together
- johnsillings 1y ago
  I live in the US, and the type of party in the article is way more familiar to me than potlucks or cookouts – but that's just me
- AmbroseBierce 1y ago
  Yes but it probably has a bigger overlap with the kind of people that would use Google to find an article that says how to throw a good party.
- com2kid 1y ago
  Some summers I plan on BBQing every weekend and I throw invites out on Thursday. People typically bring something and we all have a good time. For the parties as described in the article, I maybe go to one or two a year tops. Before I had a kid I used to host large parties like the kind described (~15 people tops though), now I just attend and contribute.

lanfeust6 1y ago

> you throw a party to people you like How many is that? It's comfortable being with people I like, but I just consider that "hanging out". The appeal of parties to me is it's a social expectation to mingle with new people I otherwise would never have had the opportunity to speak to.

dlisboa 1y ago
Could be a handful or a couple dozen, depends on the person really. Birthdays are more packed. There’s no real expectation in a party here. Usually you’ll call up people you know from different parts of your life. People bring plus ones so someone from work will be chatting to your family member, a high school friend to someone’s plus one, etc. That’s usually how people strike new relationships after a certain age.

brianpan 1y ago

Even potluck parties tend to be better on average when someone or a few people are "in charge". In my experience, even when people are just getting together for dinner out, there are people who step up more to organize. Are you sure there aren't certain people driving these "informal" parties?

ccanassa 1y ago
In Brazil, you are expected to bring food or drinks when you are invited as a guest to a party. If you stay until the end, you are also expected to help clean up the place. Guests will often take over certain parts of the party without even asking, such as preparing drinks, taking care of the barbecue, serving people, or going to the store to buy more drinks.

bitshiftfaced 1y ago

> In Brazil you throw a party to people you like and they all have a hand in helping you, sharing the load. Everyone will be responsible for some part of it, all of it is organized informally, there are no real formalities to the event. No one cares about making a science out of it. > I’ve never heard of a person complaining about party quality or comparing hosting abilities. This is all true in my experience as well, and I live in the US. Maybe I don't go to enough parties, though.

roncesvalles 1y ago

there is some nuance 1. Sometimes an "inner circle" will co-host a party but the other attendees are not expected to do anything except show up and have a good time, and maybe bring booze. This is common with roommates and in college. 2. What you're describing verbatim is a potluck. Potlucks in the US are popular among immigrant groups, family friend groups, or parties for clubs or associations. But ultimately they're considered a bit uncool/laidback and don't fit the definition of an American party. They're better described as "get-togethers".

blovescoffee 1y ago
I would not consider this to be a potluck. I've been to many parties in both LATAM and the US. LATAM parties are indeed just like US parties very often but in many cases they are much more "communal" without being a potluck per-se. A potluck is still too formal a name for what I've experienced at least. Someone's uncle will bring a piñata, someone's aunt will cook pozole, a cousin will bring a speaker, and so on. And these types of parties are not "uncool" or even "laidback" they can be wild.
- yugioh3 1y ago
  For me in the US, potluck describes the style of food and culinary expectation of guests. The actual gathering could be fun and wild if it’s a fun and wild family potluck or uncool and lame if it’s an elementary school fundraiser potluck.
  - fragmede 1y ago
    Til you find out that Lucy added LSD to her chicken casserole, that is!
    - robocat 1y ago
      Don't leave your special cookies or shots where norms might consume them. A friend left her brownies in a Tupperware in the fridge at work. The colleagues decided to help themselves (good people, so I assume with the intention to replace). There were some rather unfortunate outcomes including hospital visits. Please learn from her mistake: don't ever leave drugged food where other people/minors/animals might eat it.

jrochkind1 1y ago

I think some cultures are definitely more social/cooperative and some less, and Brazil and the US may be on opposite ends. I also think the US may be having a social crisis at the moment. But my guess is that in Brazil many of the things in this list are things that party host(s) (and their circles) are doing, intuitively and without thinking about it. Or different things with similar effects. I didn't see anything in the OP about anyone comparing party quality or hosting abilities. But when you go to a party and it's a great party, often it's because someone put effort into it. The better they are at it, the fewer people might notice. and it might come naturally to them, maybe they never had to make a list like this (a very particular kind of brain, sure). But a succesful party (where people enjoy themselves and it feels good) has people putting energy into making it vibe. Again, perhaps inuitivley and naturally and because it's something everyone learns how to do organically in a society. But I'm gonna guess this is true in Brazil too.

Aurornis 1y ago

America is a huge place with a lot of different cultures. Even within a big city you’ll find social circles with different ideas of what partying is like. I have friend groups that have completely different ideas of what gatherings are and I adapt depending on the group. There is not a singular American party style. > In movies or TV there’s even a common theme of guests judging the host’s hosting abilities. That’s a movie trope. You can find parties and social groups like this if you search around long enough, but most people are decidedly not like this. Don’t take American movies too seriously as an indicator of American culture.

thomassmith65 1y ago
America is a huge place with a lot of different cultures Sorry to be persnickety, but... so is Brazil! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazil https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazil
- brational 1y ago
  Right. Which makes it even more absurd that a Brazilian would make a singular classification to the whole lot.
  - vasco 1y ago
    So I live in Amsterdam and my friends are from about 6 European countries and we do the same as the Brazilian guy. Imagine being in the playground as a kid. You just are there. And if its fun, its not fun because of you, its fun because of the group which is there. So are parties, they just "are". All these rules you guys have appear to me like watching a movie about a psychopath lining up pens in the living room.
    - robocat 1y ago
      You are just being judgy. Dong think of it as rules, think of it as someone explaining etiquette. That is hard to write down without sounding weird. I bet you are oversimplifying how good parties are created in your own culture. If you tried to write down the actual etiquette it would come out sounding weird to us all. Humans create odd rituals and expectations about everything social. You only really notice it when polling at other cultures - ie is hard to see in your own culture because you implicitly understand the "rules". #1 is amazingly insightful: 1) Prioritize your ease of being over any other consideration: parties are like babies, if you’re stressed while holding them they’ll get stressed too. Every other decision is downstream of your serenity Well written. Unobvious to many. I'm sure we all recognise when a hostess or host is trying far too hard and failing badly. It is tricky to learn the skill of being a relaxed hostess/host (some people do it naturally, or have learnt from others).

pessimizer 1y ago

> I feel like this is really an American culture thing where parties or dinner parties are mostly the responsibility of the host. In movies or TV there’s even a common theme of guests judging the host’s hosting abilities. This is really a function of the type of party and of the type of people one is inviting to a party rather than a universal among Americans. I was brought up that you don't come to a party empty-handed. If you're going to a party where you know everybody else was brought up that way, you call ahead to see what will be lacking (mostly so everybody doesn't bring alcohol.) I've brought chairs to parties; if you haven't ever done that you probably don't know what I'm talking about. There's also a "dinner party" culture, though, where you're going to cook for a bunch of people. They should bring alcohol, but they don't always because people don't always drink, and their bringing alcohol doesn't get you out of providing alcohol. The expectation is that you have a reciprocal party rather than everyone contribute at this party i.e. you're inviting people who also might have dinner parties. They're bringing a guest or two to yours, you'll also bring a guest or two to theirs. The second type of party is more conversation-oriented, and sometimes the contribution you're making is how interesting your guest is. I'm still bringing wine or something, though. Can't show up empty-handed.

dyauspitr 1y ago

Yeah as a naturalized immigrant, Americans are judgy. Everything will be judged relative to something similar. In Asia a party is a party. Food and drink are usually accounted for and the rest just happens. No one really thinks of “rating” it the next day. The whole thing is low pressure and parties are frequent and plentiful because of it.

cvoss 1y ago

There's two modes that I know of in American dinner/meal party culture. 1) Host provides main dish, and guests bring miscellaneous supporting items (ideal for a casual party where the menu need not be coordinated carefully, and people spread throughout the house). 2) Host provides everything or almost everything (more formal occasions, typically sitting at one table; guests might bring wine or dessert). The latter is a holdover from peak 1950s culture/expectations. Many of the expectations and protocols have relaxed tremendously. But it's still a thing. And it's a ton of fun to pull off, if you're into it. A well-executed dinner party leaves me with a warm glow that lasts well into the next day.

o11c 1y ago
1 can definitely be split into 1a) host provides main dish and assigns specific dishes to specific guests, and 1b) full-blown potluck with no official dish assignments at all, hopefully no load-bearing grandma has died since the last potluck.

Aeolun 1y ago

I think parties in the Netherlands consist mostly of “have house, bring booze” and things get taken from there. At least, when I was in high school/university (we got to buy alcohol from 16 at the time).

fragmede 1y ago
High school/University house parties in capitalist America have a "have house, bring money" theme, because drinking age is 21, so the oldest person buys the alcohol for everybody else, and things get taken from there.
- nxor 1y ago
  When was the US not capitalist? And you really think if we weren't, the theme would be different?
  - fragmede 1y ago
    it's an interesting culture inculcation process. As a child with no concept of how money works, you go from a world where food and drinks magically appear, to a world where you're a part of the system. There’s this divide as the drinking age is 21, but people attend college starting at around age 18. Far from everyone goes to college in the US, but around 18 is when, legally, kids turn into adults. So then there's this problem where you can't go to any of the legal government-regulated bars nearby, but you also now, suddenly, have the freedom to do anything you want because for most Americans, this is the first time they're living out from under their parents reign. So you have this group, A, with their money, who want product B (alcohol), and only group C (21+ aged people) can purchase it. If the drinking age was, say, 16, culturally, it would be easier to just have and expect people to bring a six pack of beer on their way over. But since it's restricted to age 21+, trying to acquire alcohol becomes a whole thing. Alright, so you're 18, you're in college, and it's a Friday night, what're you gonna get up to? You're still a raging mess of hormones from puberty and want to seek out people you find sexually interesting, and it turns out alcohol is a social lubricant. But you can't just go to the store and buy some alcohol, so you have figure out something else. You can try and have fun without alcohol (which, to the future alcoholics out there: this entirely possible!), or you can figure out a way to acquire some. You can steal it which then they can't check your id, you can try and fake the system with a fake id (which needs to be created or purchased). You can try to get someone you know or a stranger to buy you some, and give them a generous service fee. Or you can simply attend a house party where there is underage drinking where you have to know somebody to get in, but you just have to show up and give them money (for a red Solo cup). But therin lies the indoctrination into capitalism because if you organize and source a keg of beer for, say, a nice round $100 to make the math easier, it has 165 cups of beer. If you sell a cup of beer of $5, 165*$5-$100 for the keg = $725. Which isn't a ton of money split out amongst all participants, but once you put that into a calculator, or better yet, a Google Sheet, then you're hooked. But that wasn't your question. The US was less capitalist before the Internet. Which is funny, because the Internet was supposed to break down walls and eliminate unnecessary middlemen. It might just be a timing thing, though. There is a late-stage private equity version of capitalism that seems more prevalent as of late. Where "late" is defined as since, I don't know, 1920. The particular part I'm thinking of is when grocery stores became chains and those chains had enough excess revenue that they hired psychologists to optimize the store layout to get people to buy more shit. I don't know anyone who thinks that money isn't useful, but it's the concentration of it that has become problematic. That whole "enshittification" thing is borne out of that. Something making $1 million / year being "not interesting to VC firms" comes out of that. If we weren't capitalist, what would the theme be? In lieu of cash, the theme would be bring something to the party to make the party better. Mostly alcohol, but also interesting people, music, trinkets; some other token of appreciation and something to engage people with. But because of the above described process, "just show up with cash" is the mindset for many Americans (including me, when I can't help it!). It's moved to digital, like Venmo/Cash.app/Zelle these days, and apparently the newest generation isn't drinking as much, so we'll have to see where it all goes though.

hshdhdhehd 1y ago

I like that idea as it means yiu are more likely to host a party. It is also less expensive to do so. The UK has a show dedicated to a competition to see who is the best host of a dinner party. (come dine with me). Its a great show but shows the culture. The poor host has to pay for everything, prep, cook while entertaining the guest and usually put on some show or activity for extra points.

dlisboa 1y ago
> I like that idea as it means yiu are more likely to host a party. It is also less expensive to do so. Yeah, you're expected to help in some way. The idea being that a party at someone's house is likely an inconvenience to that person so if you want more of that to happen you should make sure the host feels barely any pain. Even if you don't bring anything to the party you should be helping place the table, carrying furniture, doing dishes...something. People who don't help at all aren't well perceived and will probably not be invited again.
someone7x 1y ago
I lived in the UK briefly and this episode broke my brain Series 3 Episode 53: > Host Forbes Robertson, the only man in the group, is Ayr's answer to Donald Trump, and his menu plan includes pigs' trotters, which don't appeal to his guests

dm319 1y ago

You've not had instructional videos on how to throw a party[1]? Odd! [1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXRkgtnBmzs&pp https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXRkgtnBmzs&pp

johnnyanmac 1y ago

House parties are more common in America, so that may be a big reason. A party in that context isn't just about gathering people, it's bringing people into your own living space to be judged upon. And of course, many US gatherings are also means to move up the social ladder. Meeting new connections, finding mates, or getting intel on an area. Very capitalistic oriented.

nxor 1y ago
So people under things other than capitalism don't behave that way. Right.
- johnnyanmac 1y ago
  Treat everything as a hustle to further oneself in life? Well, sure. Feudal courts in high class society also do this under nearly any other paradigm. So it's not just capitalism. Capitalism matters less than the hyper individualistic culture here. But one drives the other in this case (other things can drive individualism too).
hitarpetar 1y ago
> And of course, many US gatherings are also means to move up the social ladder. Meeting new connections, finding mates, or getting intel on an area. Very capitalistic oriented. just like every other claim on this thread, that depends on who you spend time with, and you can find the same behavior in literally any country
- johnnyanmac 1y ago
  Yes, everything varies. We're talking about a country so I'm speaking about a country's general habits.
  - hitarpetar 1y ago
    there are no "general habits" in a culturally heterogenous population of 340 million people