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There is a tendency among conflict-avoidant people to lionize "keeping cool" as a moral virtue. This strategy of putting passionate (yet justifiable) anger to s
by dolebirchwood 1y ago
There is a tendency among conflict-avoidant people to lionize "keeping cool" as a moral virtue. This strategy of putting passionate (yet justifiable) anger to shame ensures there is minimal rocking of the boat, thereby allowing all aboard to sit peacefully with smiles on their faces as the ship sinks due to their own negligence and dereliction.
- komali2 1y agoDo you believe conflict resolution requires telling someone to "shut the fuck up" in all caps and then insult their abilities as an engineer? Do you believe this is the most effective method of conflict resolution that doesn't involve "rolling over?" Personally I think Dale Carnegie cracked that nut nearly a century ago and had the research of many great figures in history to back it up. If you haven't read "How to Win Friends," spoilers: he never suggests screaming someone out of a room.
- itsthecourier 1y agoSHUT THE DUCK UP, KOMALI /s
- dolebirchwood 1y agoDo you believe Linus was interested in "winning a friend" in that conversation?
- komali2 1y agoI agree that the book's title is a bit old fashioned. The other half of the title is "...and Influence People," though. Surely Linus is interested in influencing people, effectively? Surely he's interested in being an effective leader? I'll answer for you: yes, he is, and also yes he believes this screaming version of him was wrong to be so cruel and abrasive: https://lkml.org/lkml/2018/9/16/167 https://lkml.org/lkml/2018/9/16/167 If Linus is trying to grow out of the emotional outburst version of himself I don't understand why people continue to try to defend it. The man himself now believes it's the wrong way to be.
- dolebirchwood 1y agoFair enough. Thanks for sharing.
- deleted 1y ago[deleted]