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Why do you need to have an idea about what’s going on? You could just ask and then talk about it. You’re using social media to skip the initial asking part, but

Why do you need to have an idea about what’s going on? You could just ask and then talk about it. You’re using social media to skip the initial asking part, but you don’t need to do that. I can tell you this works because I do it. You’re not missing anything. If you don’t communicate much because of distance either the relationship isn’t that important - so you’re lying to yourself about it, or you should move and live closer together.

hackable_sand 1y ago
I agree with this commenter. Y'all making excuses and then complaining you need to use a platform. It's fake as hell.
yorpinn 1y ago
You will have deeper and better conversations if you know what questions to ask. Things that work for you might not work for others. Communication and connection is a need, not a vice. The idea that you can tell them that their relationships aren't important is so chauvinistic and inappropriate. You ought to take a step back and reflect before commenting further, that's out of line.
- ericmay 1y ago
  You’ll have even deeper connections if you have more things to talk about and genuine curiosity about the novelty of those things instead of “already knowing the questions to ask” - good lord are we robots or something? > The idea that you can tell them that their relationships aren't important is so chauvinistic and inappropriate. You ought to take a step back and reflect before commenting further, that's out of line. Save this stuff for someone who cares because it’s not me.
  - yorpinn 1y ago
    There is no evidence their curiosity is ingenuine, that's your image of them but it doesn't have a basis in reality. It's based in your biases and preconceptions about social media. I'll refrain from criticizing you for being a chauvinist if you agree to take that behavior someplace else, because it's not for this community. Save that for some toxic no-holds-barred social media. Maybe think on whether your actions are contributing to the social media environment you decry.
    - ericmay 1y ago
      > I'll refrain from criticizing your for being a chauvinist if you agree to take that behavior someplace else, because it's not for this community. Save that for some toxic no-holds-barred community like Twitter. No thanks. You don’t get to define what is toxic behavior nor do you speak for this community or others. Also, grab a dictionary. Your usage of chauvinist here is incorrect. > There is no evidence their curiosity is ingenuine, that's your image of them but it doesn't have a basis in reality. They already said they need information about events to have something to talk about. That’s not how conversations work, nor is it how you establish new friendships or build and maintain existing relationships. > It's based in your biases and preconceptions about social media. Well they are biases (yours is showing) but they’re not preconceptions, they are just conceptions.
      - yorpinn 1y ago
        You don't get to define your behavior as nontoxic, either. I'm not arguing about what words mean.
        ericmay 1y ago
        I didn’t define my behavior one way or another. I said I don’t care what you think about it.
        yorpinn 1y ago
        I don't believe you, but it doesn't really matter. (I'm happy to admit I have a small investment in helping you see my perspective, for what it's worth. It's part of my human need for connection.)
        ericmay 1y ago
        Why would I care about your opinion of me? If I recall from the thread so far it consists of being chauvinist and toxic. That’s no different than some random person yelling at me from across the street while out walking my dog or something.
nradov 1y ago
What a weird comment. I'm glad my relatives aren't like you.
nradov 1y ago
What a weird comment. I'm glad my relatives aren't like you. Your irrational hatred of social media is distorting your views.
- ericmay 1y ago
  If you got rid of social media tomorrow, completely, the world would be better. No doubt in my mind about that. It’s not irrational, I have seen first hand the destruction it causes. Maybe you should ask yourself why you’re so upset that someone says to delete it? Does it cut too close to the truth?
  - bluGill 1y ago
    True, but that is because there are bad parts of social media that we would also lose. The real question is how can we get rid of the bad parts of social media so we can keep the good? (I do not have an answer which is why I only check a few times per month)
    - AlexandrB 1y ago
      The good parts of social media is basically Facebook's feature set in 2007 or so. Everything since then has been in the interest of increasing addiction and monetization. Unfortunately 95+% of Facebook's valuation is due to those bad parts, so I don't see a way back.

hackable_sand 1y ago

I agree with this commenter. Y'all making excuses and then complaining you need to use a platform. It's fake as hell.

yorpinn 1y ago

You will have deeper and better conversations if you know what questions to ask. Things that work for you might not work for others. Communication and connection is a need, not a vice. The idea that you can tell them that their relationships aren't important is so chauvinistic and inappropriate. You ought to take a step back and reflect before commenting further, that's out of line.

ericmay 1y ago
You’ll have even deeper connections if you have more things to talk about and genuine curiosity about the novelty of those things instead of “already knowing the questions to ask” - good lord are we robots or something? > The idea that you can tell them that their relationships aren't important is so chauvinistic and inappropriate. You ought to take a step back and reflect before commenting further, that's out of line. Save this stuff for someone who cares because it’s not me.
- yorpinn 1y ago
  There is no evidence their curiosity is ingenuine, that's your image of them but it doesn't have a basis in reality. It's based in your biases and preconceptions about social media. I'll refrain from criticizing you for being a chauvinist if you agree to take that behavior someplace else, because it's not for this community. Save that for some toxic no-holds-barred social media. Maybe think on whether your actions are contributing to the social media environment you decry.
  - ericmay 1y ago
    > I'll refrain from criticizing your for being a chauvinist if you agree to take that behavior someplace else, because it's not for this community. Save that for some toxic no-holds-barred community like Twitter. No thanks. You don’t get to define what is toxic behavior nor do you speak for this community or others. Also, grab a dictionary. Your usage of chauvinist here is incorrect. > There is no evidence their curiosity is ingenuine, that's your image of them but it doesn't have a basis in reality. They already said they need information about events to have something to talk about. That’s not how conversations work, nor is it how you establish new friendships or build and maintain existing relationships. > It's based in your biases and preconceptions about social media. Well they are biases (yours is showing) but they’re not preconceptions, they are just conceptions.
    - yorpinn 1y ago
      You don't get to define your behavior as nontoxic, either. I'm not arguing about what words mean.
      - ericmay 1y ago
        I didn’t define my behavior one way or another. I said I don’t care what you think about it.
        yorpinn 1y ago
        I don't believe you, but it doesn't really matter. (I'm happy to admit I have a small investment in helping you see my perspective, for what it's worth. It's part of my human need for connection.)
        ericmay 1y ago
        Why would I care about your opinion of me? If I recall from the thread so far it consists of being chauvinist and toxic. That’s no different than some random person yelling at me from across the street while out walking my dog or something.

nradov 1y ago

What a weird comment. I'm glad my relatives aren't like you.

nradov 1y ago

What a weird comment. I'm glad my relatives aren't like you. Your irrational hatred of social media is distorting your views.

ericmay 1y ago
If you got rid of social media tomorrow, completely, the world would be better. No doubt in my mind about that. It’s not irrational, I have seen first hand the destruction it causes. Maybe you should ask yourself why you’re so upset that someone says to delete it? Does it cut too close to the truth?
- bluGill 1y ago
  True, but that is because there are bad parts of social media that we would also lose. The real question is how can we get rid of the bad parts of social media so we can keep the good? (I do not have an answer which is why I only check a few times per month)
  - AlexandrB 1y ago
    The good parts of social media is basically Facebook's feature set in 2007 or so. Everything since then has been in the interest of increasing addiction and monetization. Unfortunately 95+% of Facebook's valuation is due to those bad parts, so I don't see a way back.