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> too have begun limiting my usage of social media to basically zero Just delete your accounts. Trust me you’ll feel much better. If your usage is truly basica
by ericmay 1y ago
> too have begun limiting my usage of social media to basically zero
Just delete your accounts. Trust me you’ll feel much better. If your usage is truly basically zero there is no need to keep having an account. Break it off completely.
- bluGill 1y agoMy sister often only sends updates about her kids on Facebook, so I have to visit once in a while. Most of what is there is garbage I'm better off without (and those posting/sharing would be better off if they got a life), but there are some things that are useful.
- NeutralCrane 1y agoUnlike the other reply, I disagree that those updates aren’t important. However, you can still get updates through email or text messages. My family and friends group has almost entirely moved to group chats where people will send pictures or updates on what they are doing. If they aren’t the kind to proactively send these to you, reach out and ask her how she and her kids are doing. In my experience this makes for a far more meaningful way of staying in touch without much additional effort than passively checking up on each other through social media. And it comes without any of the additional baggage social media brings.
- ericmay 1y agoYou don’t need the updates. It’s better to find those out in person or just not even find out about them. We are obsessed as a society with FOMO but the truth is, you’re not really missing out on much, even for so-called important family events.
- watwut 1y agoI like the dichotomy on this site - constant complaining about loneliness on one hand ... and systematic refusal to engage in social ritual mainstream people do to keep connections.
- yorpinn 1y agoI've deleted my accounts too (HN obviously notwithstanding) but telling people they should disengage with their family because they don't need that information is patronizing and undermines your point. They get to decide what they need.
- Bluestein 1y ago... yet I respectfully think the above point still stands, "people need not get even that family info via Zuck's brain-grinder".-
- yorpinn 1y agoYou need not get that information. Other people have different needs and priorities. What if the reason they are so concerned about getting updates on this kid is that they have serious medical issues? What if it brings a ray of sunshine on stressful days to see pictures of them? What if missing these updates means missing family functions and becoming more isolated and lonely? (Note that they confirmed my last speculation.) What if, instead of berating people for using social media, we discussed how we might build a healthier alternative?
- Bluestein 1y ago> we discussed how we might build a healthier alternative? Totally for that. We really need it.-
- yorpinn 1y agoWelp, I ought to stand on business I suppose, I think social media communities are too big. I think it would be less toxic if we were balkanized into smaller communities, and interacted with people of unlike minds in a more considered and intentional way. As it is, it becomes a free for all for dunking on people. Small communities of like minds can become too insular, ideas need to be challenged, but they also need space to grow and develop in a friendly environment.
- ilinx 1y agoThat seems like a strange judgement to make for another person. While I agree that it’s typically better to get updates in person, it may be very difficult to do so based on their circumstances. And judging the importance of someone else’s family events feels even more inappropriate.
- ericmay 1y agoI’m not judging - I’m just stripping away the excuses. “Oh I just use social media for XYZ” ok so does everyone else who uses it for whatever random purposes that other people want to judge them for. People had great, meaningful relationships before social media.
- yorpinn 1y agoYou are in fact expressing judgement, and your comments are getting more judgemental as the thread goes on. This is the excuse people always use to portray their feelings and judgements as objective "uncomfortable truths".
- ericmay 1y agoOk I’m expressing judgement then. Now that I’m expressing judgement, I stand by my judgements.
- bluGill 1y agoI live several hundred miles from my sister. In-person events are rare things that need planning ahead. Sure I could not find out about events, but I'm better off because I can: when I do get a chance to visit I have an idea what has been going on and thus what to talk about.
- ericmay 1y agoWhy do you need to have an idea about what’s going on? You could just ask and then talk about it. You’re using social media to skip the initial asking part, but you don’t need to do that. I can tell you this works because I do it. You’re not missing anything. If you don’t communicate much because of distance either the relationship isn’t that important - so you’re lying to yourself about it, or you should move and live closer together.
- hackable_sand 1y agoI agree with this commenter. Y'all making excuses and then complaining you need to use a platform. It's fake as hell.
- yorpinn 1y agoYou will have deeper and better conversations if you know what questions to ask. Things that work for you might not work for others. Communication and connection is a need, not a vice. The idea that you can tell them that their relationships aren't important is so chauvinistic and inappropriate. You ought to take a step back and reflect before commenting further, that's out of line.
- ericmay 1y agoYou’ll have even deeper connections if you have more things to talk about and genuine curiosity about the novelty of those things instead of “already knowing the questions to ask” - good lord are we robots or something? > The idea that you can tell them that their relationships aren't important is so chauvinistic and inappropriate. You ought to take a step back and reflect before commenting further, that's out of line. Save this stuff for someone who cares because it’s not me.
- maplant 1y agoI already have lol. I still use bluesky occasionally on my computer. That's what I mean by "basically zero"
- ericmay 1y agoAll you’ve done is basically switch from drinking beer, wine, and liquor to only drinking gin.
- maplant 1y agoSo I’m drinking less?
- diamond559 1y agoI'd say it's more like switching from bottom shelf, burn your throat vodka to a nice white wine.
- ericmay 1y agoFrom an addicts POV it’s no different, maybe worse because you are deluding yourself about the other aspects to make you feel like your addiction is ok. Also, Blue Sky generally sucks. It’s another awful echo chamber.
- maplant 1y agoGreat way to make your point, telling people they’re addicts. That’ll change my mind.
- BoredPositron 1y agoGin doesn't smell.