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We're not so isolated from normal every day people that noticing trends within ourselves and other people like us have zero chance of bleeding into the mainstre

We're not so isolated from normal every day people that noticing trends within ourselves and other people like us have zero chance of bleeding into the mainstream. I too have begun limiting my usage of social media to basically zero, and I'm not so naive to think that I'm a trendsetter anymore rather I am responding to already occurring trends. I remember what these social media platforms used to be like. They didn't consume my entire life because I was just checking in on my friends. I looked at my screen time recently and decided enough was enough, and deleted everything. Now I only look at my phone if I have an actual reason to. I don't think I'm the only person this is going to happen to.

ericmay 1y ago
> too have begun limiting my usage of social media to basically zero Just delete your accounts. Trust me you’ll feel much better. If your usage is truly basically zero there is no need to keep having an account. Break it off completely.
- bluGill 1y ago
  My sister often only sends updates about her kids on Facebook, so I have to visit once in a while. Most of what is there is garbage I'm better off without (and those posting/sharing would be better off if they got a life), but there are some things that are useful.
  - NeutralCrane 1y ago
    Unlike the other reply, I disagree that those updates aren’t important. However, you can still get updates through email or text messages. My family and friends group has almost entirely moved to group chats where people will send pictures or updates on what they are doing. If they aren’t the kind to proactively send these to you, reach out and ask her how she and her kids are doing. In my experience this makes for a far more meaningful way of staying in touch without much additional effort than passively checking up on each other through social media. And it comes without any of the additional baggage social media brings.
  - ericmay 1y ago
    You don’t need the updates. It’s better to find those out in person or just not even find out about them. We are obsessed as a society with FOMO but the truth is, you’re not really missing out on much, even for so-called important family events.
    - watwut 1y ago
      I like the dichotomy on this site - constant complaining about loneliness on one hand ... and systematic refusal to engage in social ritual mainstream people do to keep connections.
    - yorpinn 1y ago
      I've deleted my accounts too (HN obviously notwithstanding) but telling people they should disengage with their family because they don't need that information is patronizing and undermines your point. They get to decide what they need.
      - Bluestein 1y ago
        ... yet I respectfully think the above point still stands, "people need not get even that family info via Zuck's brain-grinder".-
        yorpinn 1y ago
        You need not get that information. Other people have different needs and priorities. What if the reason they are so concerned about getting updates on this kid is that they have serious medical issues? What if it brings a ray of sunshine on stressful days to see pictures of them? What if missing these updates means missing family functions and becoming more isolated and lonely? (Note that they confirmed my last speculation.) What if, instead of berating people for using social media, we discussed how we might build a healthier alternative?
        Bluestein 1y ago
        > we discussed how we might build a healthier alternative? Totally for that. We really need it.-
- maplant 1y ago
  I already have lol. I still use bluesky occasionally on my computer. That's what I mean by "basically zero"
  - ericmay 1y ago
    All you’ve done is basically switch from drinking beer, wine, and liquor to only drinking gin.
    - maplant 1y ago
      So I’m drinking less?
    - diamond559 1y ago
      I'd say it's more like switching from bottom shelf, burn your throat vodka to a nice white wine.
      - ericmay 1y ago
        From an addicts POV it’s no different, maybe worse because you are deluding yourself about the other aspects to make you feel like your addiction is ok. Also, Blue Sky generally sucks. It’s another awful echo chamber.
        maplant 1y ago
        Great way to make your point, telling people they’re addicts. That’ll change my mind.
    - BoredPositron 1y ago
      Gin doesn't smell.

ericmay 1y ago

> too have begun limiting my usage of social media to basically zero Just delete your accounts. Trust me you’ll feel much better. If your usage is truly basically zero there is no need to keep having an account. Break it off completely.

bluGill 1y ago
My sister often only sends updates about her kids on Facebook, so I have to visit once in a while. Most of what is there is garbage I'm better off without (and those posting/sharing would be better off if they got a life), but there are some things that are useful.
- NeutralCrane 1y ago
  Unlike the other reply, I disagree that those updates aren’t important. However, you can still get updates through email or text messages. My family and friends group has almost entirely moved to group chats where people will send pictures or updates on what they are doing. If they aren’t the kind to proactively send these to you, reach out and ask her how she and her kids are doing. In my experience this makes for a far more meaningful way of staying in touch without much additional effort than passively checking up on each other through social media. And it comes without any of the additional baggage social media brings.
- ericmay 1y ago
  You don’t need the updates. It’s better to find those out in person or just not even find out about them. We are obsessed as a society with FOMO but the truth is, you’re not really missing out on much, even for so-called important family events.
  - watwut 1y ago
    I like the dichotomy on this site - constant complaining about loneliness on one hand ... and systematic refusal to engage in social ritual mainstream people do to keep connections.
  - yorpinn 1y ago
    I've deleted my accounts too (HN obviously notwithstanding) but telling people they should disengage with their family because they don't need that information is patronizing and undermines your point. They get to decide what they need.
    - Bluestein 1y ago
      ... yet I respectfully think the above point still stands, "people need not get even that family info via Zuck's brain-grinder".-
      - yorpinn 1y ago
        You need not get that information. Other people have different needs and priorities. What if the reason they are so concerned about getting updates on this kid is that they have serious medical issues? What if it brings a ray of sunshine on stressful days to see pictures of them? What if missing these updates means missing family functions and becoming more isolated and lonely? (Note that they confirmed my last speculation.) What if, instead of berating people for using social media, we discussed how we might build a healthier alternative?
        Bluestein 1y ago
        > we discussed how we might build a healthier alternative? Totally for that. We really need it.-
maplant 1y ago
I already have lol. I still use bluesky occasionally on my computer. That's what I mean by "basically zero"
- ericmay 1y ago
  All you’ve done is basically switch from drinking beer, wine, and liquor to only drinking gin.
  - maplant 1y ago
    So I’m drinking less?
  - diamond559 1y ago
    I'd say it's more like switching from bottom shelf, burn your throat vodka to a nice white wine.
    - ericmay 1y ago
      From an addicts POV it’s no different, maybe worse because you are deluding yourself about the other aspects to make you feel like your addiction is ok. Also, Blue Sky generally sucks. It’s another awful echo chamber.
      - maplant 1y ago
        Great way to make your point, telling people they’re addicts. That’ll change my mind.
  - BoredPositron 1y ago
    Gin doesn't smell.