3 ms·

Nah, kids are great a real joy and I think he captures the joy of being a father in the post. I’m two months in with my first child and I can honestly say I’ve

Nah, kids are great a real joy and I think he captures the joy of being a father in the post. I’m two months in with my first child and I can honestly say I’ve never experienced love like this, it’s awesome and I feel everyone should get to experience it.

latexr 1y ago
I believe you, and I even say as much in my comment. I’m not arguing kids can’t be great, I’m only saying the post isn’t what it claims to be (i.e. this is about someone sharing their happiness, not advancing the discussion). Additionally, while I have zero question that kids are the best thing ever for some people, it’s important to recognise that is not a universal feeling. Which isn’t just theoretical, some people do have kids and are or became miserable. You lucked out, and I’m genuinely happy for you (and your kids, because having a happy parent will give them a better life). In short, kids are not a universal experience in either direction and it’s nonsensical to claim that would be the case.
- orwin 1y ago
  Yes. And it's dangerous presenting the joy of parenthood as universal, it put a lot of pressure. One of my cousins had difficult pregnancies, and finally managed to have a kid around 10 years ago. Since basically COVID, when her child was around 6, she started fleeing her house, finding more and more stuff to do, quitting a balanced job to go into entrepreneurship that ate her days, and basically stopped interacting with her child. After a disaster (an ecological one), they had to come back last winter, and she finally broke down in front of her mother and aunts saying she doesn't love her child as much as she should, she doesn't feel any joy in parenting, that she is a bad mom and should have her child removed as she can't look at him without feeling guilty. I'm pretty sure a honest description of what being a parent means, and people saying to her that you don't _have_ to feel the same as others before she hurt her relationship with her child would have been helpful (but well, spilled milk and all that). My personal opinion is that people mostly lie to themselves then to others about what they really feel in general, so posts like this have no impact on my opinion (that said, children are great: the 4 month to 30month is a bit of a grind and difficult, but once they're past that its fun and games).
munksbeer 1y ago
For you, and him. Not everyone. You're advocating everyone to have children based on your personal experience. I can offer the complete opposite experience.

latexr 1y ago

I believe you, and I even say as much in my comment. I’m not arguing kids can’t be great, I’m only saying the post isn’t what it claims to be (i.e. this is about someone sharing their happiness, not advancing the discussion). Additionally, while I have zero question that kids are the best thing ever for some people, it’s important to recognise that is not a universal feeling. Which isn’t just theoretical, some people do have kids and are or became miserable. You lucked out, and I’m genuinely happy for you (and your kids, because having a happy parent will give them a better life). In short, kids are not a universal experience in either direction and it’s nonsensical to claim that would be the case.

orwin 1y ago
Yes. And it's dangerous presenting the joy of parenthood as universal, it put a lot of pressure. One of my cousins had difficult pregnancies, and finally managed to have a kid around 10 years ago. Since basically COVID, when her child was around 6, she started fleeing her house, finding more and more stuff to do, quitting a balanced job to go into entrepreneurship that ate her days, and basically stopped interacting with her child. After a disaster (an ecological one), they had to come back last winter, and she finally broke down in front of her mother and aunts saying she doesn't love her child as much as she should, she doesn't feel any joy in parenting, that she is a bad mom and should have her child removed as she can't look at him without feeling guilty. I'm pretty sure a honest description of what being a parent means, and people saying to her that you don't _have_ to feel the same as others before she hurt her relationship with her child would have been helpful (but well, spilled milk and all that). My personal opinion is that people mostly lie to themselves then to others about what they really feel in general, so posts like this have no impact on my opinion (that said, children are great: the 4 month to 30month is a bit of a grind and difficult, but once they're past that its fun and games).

munksbeer 1y ago

For you, and him. Not everyone. You're advocating everyone to have children based on your personal experience. I can offer the complete opposite experience.