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I get really annoyed when I eat with someone and they have their phone on the table. There's something about that behaviour that seems to say "I'll pay attentio
by nagrom 14y ago
I get really annoyed when I eat with someone and they have their phone on the table. There's something about that behaviour that seems to say "I'll pay attention to you for now, but I'm really hoping for a distraction.".
I'd much rather go to a restaurant where phone use is discouraged as it seems to have become socially acceptable to fuck around with phones even during face-to-face conversation with someone.
Regarding ROI: if I were to run the restaurant, I'd have opaquely added the same charge to all the menu items and remove it for good behaviour. I guess that rewards for not being a dick are more popular than explicit punishments for being a dick?
- geebee 14y agoShoot. I often eat with my phone on the table, but I never field a call or text - I just put it there along with my keys because it's uncomfortable to sit with it in my pocket and I usually don't wear a jacket. I can see how just putting it there could send the wrong message, though, that I'm open to distractions. Argh. Just one more reason to get a "european carry all", I guess. Or maybe I'll just wear a jacket.
- debacle 14y agoI do similar. We need to develop a new etiquette. Perhaps placing the phone beyond your reach (in the center of the table) signifies that it's not a distraction, but just a bauble.
- dylanz 14y agoI usually place it to the edge of the table, and upside down.
- geebee 14y agoI do that, and I put my keys on top of it to indicate that I don't plan to pick it up or answer it. Funny, I didn't realize until just know that I was doing this.
- neutronicus 14y agoI make a small show of putting it on silent mode.
- codegeek 14y agoupside down is a good idea but you need to have the discipline of not looking at every beep or noise.
- dylanz 14y agoComfort is the reason I have my phone on the table as well. My glasses and keys end up in the same place... usually in a precarious stack.
- deleted 14y ago[deleted]
- felideon 14y agoSame with me: I hate having stuff in my pockets when I sit, specially with jeans. But now that I'm aware that it might send the wrong message, I'll try to keep just my phone in my pocket (the first Galaxy S, it's not very big) if I have lunch with some I do not know very well. Edit: As others have commented, I do always leave it face down on top of my wallet which hopefully always comes across as "I'm just leaving my crap here."
- Encosia 14y agoI dislike eating with people who use their phone at the table, but face-down phones on the table don't bother me at all. If you're with someone that you're particularly worried about offending, flip the phone to airplane mode (or off) before you put it on the table and mention that you're doing that.
- Gmo 14y agoBeing European myself, I wonder what you call a "European carry all" ? A purse ? (or "man purse")
- geebee 14y agooh, this is a reference to a Seinfeld episode. Elaine works for a clothing company that is trying to sell men's purses by renaming them "European carry alls". Jerry: Hey! Officer! Someone took my European carryall! Cop: Your what? Jerry: The...black, leather...thing with a strap. Cop: You mean a purse? Jerry: Yes, a purse. I carry a purse!
- dromidas 14y agoYeah I put my phone on the table also just cause of comfort. Also because of a lot of research finding that cell phones in your pockets causes your balls to wither and die (paraphrased).
- huggyface 14y agoYour post is very charged. If I am at dinner and I decide that I want to keep on top of my device (I have four children and a very busy professional life), those with me have to deal with it. Most of the time my phone is more important than the discardable conversation happening over a meal. It doesn't make me more important than them, though maybe it means that I have different values. I generally veer away from these sorts of conversations because they tend to be dominated by angry people who are essentially trying to control other people ("you should do this and you should do that and I will forever be judging and disapproving or approving". You don't hear people living in the real world declaring that everyone must check their phone constantly)
- Encosia 14y agoThere's nothing inherently angry or controlling about what nagrom posted. I feel the same way nagrom does, and I don't waste any of my time trying to change others and it doesn't make me mad if they need Facebook open to make it through dinner. I just avoid going out with them as much as possible, in exactly the same way that I avoid eating with people who don't close their mouth when they chew.
- huggyface 14y ago"but I'm really hoping for a distraction."...."socially acceptable to fuck around with phones"..."I guess that rewards for not being a dick are more popular than explicit punishments for being a dick?" Their post was littered with resentment and anger. I just avoid going out with them as much as possible Good for you. Those are the choices you get to make, controlling yourself instead of controlling others. It's probably a welcome gesture by the other party, given that they've clearly indicated that you are less important to them regardless.
- Encosia 14y ago> It doesn't make me more important than them, though maybe it means that I have different values. > It's probably a welcome gesture by the other party, given that they've clearly indicated that you are less important to them regardless. So, which is it (way to keep it classy, by the way)?
- bostonpete 14y ago> seems to say "I'll pay attention to you for now, but I'm really hoping for a distraction.". I put my phone on the table b/c I'm not 100% comfortable (rationally or not) with a device emitting radiation near my genitals for hours at a time.
- ereckers 14y agoIf I ever ate lunch with you, how would I know you were annoyed when I set my phone on the table, ringer off, and face down? Sometimes, I just don't like having it in my pocket when I'm sitting down to eat. Never thought that I'd be annoying anyone.