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The idea that there are no negatives to this social pressure to behave is hopelessly optimistic. Just in my direct environment are two elementary schoolers tha

by Aeolun 1y ago

The idea that there are no negatives to this social pressure to behave is hopelessly optimistic. Just in my direct environment are two elementary schoolers that despair of going to school (and one stopped entirely). It really kills me that kids come out of school looking like that.

em-bee 1y ago
compared to going to school in the US? lack of social pressure doesn't eliminate bullying for example. actually, bullying is a form of social pressure too. i do agree that social pressure is bad. pressure to conform is bad. conforming itself isn't. but the point really is that the social pressure in japan is actually just of a different form compared to the pressure that exists in the US. it is an illusion to think that there is no social pressure in the US. and i understand that in japan this is extreme. but learning to prepare food or clean is not the problem here. the big downside in japan is that it is more difficult for victims to speak up. but it wasn't much better in the west until recently. that child you mention has no one to talk to to get help. social pressure to conform is only part of the problem here. it's also lack of awareness and understanding. but i have the impression that this is changing, so i am hopeful.
- Aeolun 1y ago
  Of course there’s social pressure in the US too. But it’s different. I’d argue that the US has a lot of issues, but social pressure to conform isn’t anywhere close to the worst. My son here gets stressed out if he’s not brought a hairnet in the proper color for swimming lessons. Never mind that there’s no requirement to wear a hairnet in my home country, the idea of requiring a specific color, or the teacher getting upset if it’s forgotten is bizarre. Nonetheless, everyone thinks this is a major problem here, and so kids internalize that and perpetuate it. In regards to the speaking up thing, I think a major component there is that it’s often considered a you problem. All these other kids go to school just fine, so the problem must be you.

by Aeolun 1y ago

em-bee 1y ago

compared to going to school in the US? lack of social pressure doesn't eliminate bullying for example. actually, bullying is a form of social pressure too. i do agree that social pressure is bad. pressure to conform is bad. conforming itself isn't. but the point really is that the social pressure in japan is actually just of a different form compared to the pressure that exists in the US. it is an illusion to think that there is no social pressure in the US. and i understand that in japan this is extreme. but learning to prepare food or clean is not the problem here. the big downside in japan is that it is more difficult for victims to speak up. but it wasn't much better in the west until recently. that child you mention has no one to talk to to get help. social pressure to conform is only part of the problem here. it's also lack of awareness and understanding. but i have the impression that this is changing, so i am hopeful.

Aeolun 1y ago
Of course there’s social pressure in the US too. But it’s different. I’d argue that the US has a lot of issues, but social pressure to conform isn’t anywhere close to the worst. My son here gets stressed out if he’s not brought a hairnet in the proper color for swimming lessons. Never mind that there’s no requirement to wear a hairnet in my home country, the idea of requiring a specific color, or the teacher getting upset if it’s forgotten is bizarre. Nonetheless, everyone thinks this is a major problem here, and so kids internalize that and perpetuate it. In regards to the speaking up thing, I think a major component there is that it’s often considered a you problem. All these other kids go to school just fine, so the problem must be you.