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Betteridge's Law is strong with this one. The lede is buried at after all the sob stories about guys who discovered they were pedophiles because recommendation
by Spivak 2y ago
Betteridge's Law is strong with this one. The lede is buried at after all the sob stories about guys who discovered they were pedophiles because recommendation algorithms are really good as showing you what you want to see. This is all just pretext to the UK government's massive privacy overreach and censorship.
> Along with other countries, the UK is bringing in tighter controls on the porn industry. Porn sites will be required to have age verification processes in place by July to stop children viewing their content, a process that will be monitored by Ofcom under the new Online Safety Act (OSA). But the OSA does not ban or control certain common practices in porn, such as strangulation, sexual fetishisation of incest or the abuse of children acted by adults. The government argues depiction of sexual strangulation is banned but a recent in-depth review of porn by Baroness Bertin, a Conservative peer, warned it is not, in reality, covered by case law. She called for tighter regulation of “legal but harmful pornography like choking, violent and degrading acts … even content that could encourage child sexual abuse”. While headlines picked out the call to ban strangulation, Bertin also demanded clearer rules around “incest, step-incest and ‘teen’ porn”.
I think the people pushing these moral purity bills need a wake-up call about what women find hot. Because this worldview makes no sense once you know that these "violent and degrading acts" are extremely common fetishes among women who play the part of the "victim." It's not men who are reading gothic horror where incest one of the tamer depictions. The problem in the real world is that, despite the public perception otherwise, guys are generally deeply uncomfortable playing out the other side of these
kinds of fantasies.
- tonyedgecombe 2y ago> Because this worldview makes no sense once you know that these "violent and degrading acts" are extremely common fetishes among women who play the part of the "victim." I’d like to see some evidence for that because it sounds like a projection to me.
- Viliam1234 2y agoHere is some data: https://aella.substack.com/p/fetish-tabooness-and-popularity-v3 https://aella.substack.com/p/fetish-tabooness-and-popularity... I haven't looked at it closely, so I have no idea whether it supports or opposes the hypothesis. Just wanted to give you some data.
- speff 2y ago"being submissive, sexual frustration, light bondage, spanking, choking" All clustered at the top in the feminine-preferred category.
- tonyedgecombe 2y agoThe author of that post is surveying their own audience. You can take the results with a pinch of salt.
- UncleEntity 2y ago> You can take the results with a pinch of salt. That's a sub-genre I have yet to hear about, do tell more. Seriously, though, the 'porn addict turned sexual predator' questionnaire in TFA was from anonymous people on the dark webs. Are they also salt-fetishists?
- deleted 2y ago[deleted]
- sudahtigabulan 2y agoFind your local BDSM community, and you'll have it. Maybe. If you're a good boy.
- tonyedgecombe 2y agoThat doesn’t make it “extremely common”.
- brookst 2y ago“Extremely” is subjective. But research[1] says almost 50% of the population has engaged in BDSM, another 13% fantasizes about it, and 12% engages in it regularly. I’d call that extremely common, far more common than skateboarding or sports cars, but YMMV may vary in definition of “extremely”. 1. https://academic.oup.com/jsm/article-abstract/14/9/1152/6973476?redirectedFrom=fulltext&login=false https://academic.oup.com/jsm/article-abstract/14/9/1152/6973...
- tonyedgecombe 2y agoA third of British women have suffered unwanted choking in the bedroom: https://metro.co.uk/2019/11/29/third-british-women-suffered-unwanted-choking-bedroom-says-survey-11238428/ https://metro.co.uk/2019/11/29/third-british-women-suffered-...
- brookst 2y agoSure? And a shockingly high percentage of women have been raped. How does that impact how common it is for adults to consensually play rough?
- UncleEntity 2y agoI can't even count how many movies I've seen where this is a comedic plot point -- the conservative soccer mom likes to get a little freaky and someone walks in.
- grvdrm 2y ago+1 with the other reply to your comment. I don't as an anecdote disagree with some of what you said. There are many things happening in private that you don't hear about in public. Friends aren't telling friends things. And I think it's important that people feel more comfortable/open/vulnerable with people they know rather than projecting what they want people to think. But I'm a guy and don't claim that I know what women want! Perhaps you're a woman and thus your reply is rooted in lots of experience/evidence?
- throwanem 2y agoThis strikes me as invidious, an effort to silence. Perhaps I misjudge, so I'll respond in good faith: your prior interlocutor attributes to women what is in fact a common trait of people who've previously been abused. The misattribution is common; women more often come in for sexual abuse on the one hand, and on the other benefit from much more space in the social narrative to exist as survivors thereof. Men who have been similarly abused tend to respond differently, for that and other reasons.
- grvdrm 2y agoI'll respond in good faith too: note that I said "anecdote" - maybe I should have said something like "exclusively personal experience" I thought the OP (in comments) was quite authoritative and confident but without much evidence/support for making such a statement.
- deleted 2y ago[deleted]
- throwanem 2y agoDon't you think that's rather bold? - to call someone out on an unsupported assertion, in the very same breath as you say "and no it isn't, probably!"
- Spivak 2y agoYes, I'm a woman posting about my own experience as well as the experiences of my female friends who I could in no way describe as skewing particularly sexually deviant. They all pretty much consider themselves "vanilla" and yet this article would have you believe that they're deeply depraved for wanting to be "taken," choked, dominated, or receive some light degradation. These things are so normal that they're not even considered to separate from sex, they're just what you happen to be into— on the level of preferring specific positions.
- quickthrowman 2y ago> I think the people pushing these moral purity bills need a wake-up call about what women find hot. Because this worldview makes no sense once you know that these "violent and degrading acts" are extremely common fetishes among women who play the part of the "victim." Agreed, every single woman I’ve slept with has expressed a desire to either be restrained, submissive, choked or spanked, and a few have expressed desires for nonconsensual sex fantasies. It’s exceedingly common.
- matsemann 2y agoall([]) == True
- deleted 2y ago[deleted]
- quickthrowman 2y agoI’m not saying 100% of women are into it, just that 100% of the partners I’ve selected have been into it. I choose partners that are positive and open about sex so your experiences may be vastly different. I’ve never met someone on a ‘kink’ website, just your regular methods of finding a partner.
- lucyjojo 2y agohe's right... it's very, very common. and along multiple generations (well at least current 20 to 50s) and multiple cultures.
- api 2y agoI'm not saying you're implying this, but I need to be the boring hall monitor to point out that while consensual submissive fantasies are extremely common there is none -- zero -- overlap with actual non-consensual sexual assault which I'd venture to say nobody (to within a rounding error of zero) finds appealing. It's kind of like the difference between watching a scary movie or visiting a haunted house attraction vs. actually being chased by a brutal crazed murderer.
- Spivak 2y agoI don't disagree which is why playing out a rape fantasy is generally called "consenting non-consent." There are rules, boundaries, safe words, lots of aftercare, just generally good communication all around is a necessary condition. Haunted House is actually such a good way of explaining it. I'm stealing that!