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All the stories I've heard about families not getting along pale in comparison to stories of when the parents die. Game of Thrones come to life. I would love

by m463 2y ago

All the stories I've heard about families not getting along pale in comparison to stories of when the parents die. Game of Thrones come to life. I would love to know how people have successfully resolved this for their families. I wonder if this compound stuff might work better for 6 secondary homes, like in the woods for summer. Everyone pitches in to build them.

potato3732842 2y ago
>I would love to know how people have successfully resolved this for their families. Have kids so rich what you leave doesn't really matter, or so poor they can't afford to bicker over it.
- bawolff 2y ago
  I imagine most of the time its not really about the money but grief and bottled up disagreements coming out in weird ways.
- the_sleaze_ 2y ago
  > so rich what you leave doesn't really matter Please see recent Murdoch family succession news. The world is not enough. > so poor they can't afford to bicker over it We will never stop bickering, it is only our implements that become more cost efficient.
sorcerer-mar 2y ago
That's actually how many of the most famous compounds emerged (like the "gingerbread houses" on Martha's Vineyard). Lots of summer camps that became permanent over decades.
nradov 2y ago
The best resolution is for the parents to sell all of their real estate (and other illiquid assets) before they die and move into an assisted living facility or something. Maybe it's sad to lose the family home but it's sure a lot easier and less emotionally fraught to divide up cash and stocks among the heirs.
- toast0 2y ago
  Tax policy incentivizes selling capital assets upon death, rather than while alive. And if one can live at home rather than assisted living, that's often preferred anyway. IMHO, the heirs and executor should endeavor to either sell the home quickly or arrange so that only one person inherits it. Group ownership typically devolves into trouble. Although sometimes there's griping about future value changes even though the split was equitable at the time of distribution.
  - nradov 2y ago
    I didn't claim that approach was tax efficient, just less likely to cause disagreements between surviving family members.
  - wright-goes 2y ago
    I'd also add creating a Trust is relatively easy and the elderly can continue living their life as they normally do. The Trust will then own the house, assets, etc., with distribution instructions included. In support of the point above, after having to arrange housing and care for elderly relatives in that stage of life, I found assisted living significantly more expensive vs. paying a care agency to have someone live at home in the United States. You get the added bonus of more accountability of a standard of care and ensuring loved ones are being taken care of. Talking to the assisted living facility, it sounded like most of their residents were using insurance.
    - Suppafly 2y ago
      >I found assisted living significantly more expensive vs. paying a care agency to have someone live at home in the United States. It really depends on the level of care necessary. >Talking to the assisted living facility, it sounded like most of their residents were using insurance. A lot of them don't really take insurance, but they will encourage the residents to spend all their money and then get on Medicaid/Medicare to have the government pay for everything. There is private nursing home insurance but most people don't have it because it's ungodly expensive, especially when purchased when you're already fairly old.

by m463 2y ago

potato3732842 2y ago

>I would love to know how people have successfully resolved this for their families. Have kids so rich what you leave doesn't really matter, or so poor they can't afford to bicker over it.

bawolff 2y ago
I imagine most of the time its not really about the money but grief and bottled up disagreements coming out in weird ways.
the_sleaze_ 2y ago
> so rich what you leave doesn't really matter Please see recent Murdoch family succession news. The world is not enough. > so poor they can't afford to bicker over it We will never stop bickering, it is only our implements that become more cost efficient.

sorcerer-mar 2y ago

That's actually how many of the most famous compounds emerged (like the "gingerbread houses" on Martha's Vineyard). Lots of summer camps that became permanent over decades.

nradov 2y ago

The best resolution is for the parents to sell all of their real estate (and other illiquid assets) before they die and move into an assisted living facility or something. Maybe it's sad to lose the family home but it's sure a lot easier and less emotionally fraught to divide up cash and stocks among the heirs.

toast0 2y ago
Tax policy incentivizes selling capital assets upon death, rather than while alive. And if one can live at home rather than assisted living, that's often preferred anyway. IMHO, the heirs and executor should endeavor to either sell the home quickly or arrange so that only one person inherits it. Group ownership typically devolves into trouble. Although sometimes there's griping about future value changes even though the split was equitable at the time of distribution.
- nradov 2y ago
  I didn't claim that approach was tax efficient, just less likely to cause disagreements between surviving family members.
- wright-goes 2y ago
  I'd also add creating a Trust is relatively easy and the elderly can continue living their life as they normally do. The Trust will then own the house, assets, etc., with distribution instructions included. In support of the point above, after having to arrange housing and care for elderly relatives in that stage of life, I found assisted living significantly more expensive vs. paying a care agency to have someone live at home in the United States. You get the added bonus of more accountability of a standard of care and ensuring loved ones are being taken care of. Talking to the assisted living facility, it sounded like most of their residents were using insurance.
  - Suppafly 2y ago
    >I found assisted living significantly more expensive vs. paying a care agency to have someone live at home in the United States. It really depends on the level of care necessary. >Talking to the assisted living facility, it sounded like most of their residents were using insurance. A lot of them don't really take insurance, but they will encourage the residents to spend all their money and then get on Medicaid/Medicare to have the government pay for everything. There is private nursing home insurance but most people don't have it because it's ungodly expensive, especially when purchased when you're already fairly old.