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This could be overgeneralising a bit... but I see a lot of people with ADHD (on- and offline) who tend to make it an essential part of their identity. I realise

This could be overgeneralising a bit... but I see a lot of people with ADHD (on- and offline) who tend to make it an essential part of their identity. I realise it's a very impactful thing to have to deal with (I have ADHD too) but I feel like a lot of the time it's brought up for no real reason. E.g. you started daydreaming when reading a book? Forgot something to do when you walked through a doorway? Got angry? You lost track of what you were thinking about? Must be the ADHD. There are YouTube channels whose whole gimmick is that they're run by and for people with ADHD. And guess what kind of content you'll see there: "Why cooking with ADHD is hell", "How ADHD can make you lie", "Music for people with ADHD". What happened to "music for concentration"? HN is a place where I see this play out a lot.

bluedino 2y ago
Similar things exist for dyslexia, introverts, etc
GlacierFox 2y ago
[flagged]
dijit 2y ago
It's likely a definitive example of selection bias, you won't hear people not talking about having it, but ADHD affects (approximately) 30% of the population. Assuming even a tiny amount of those are loud when exploring their discovery would mean a lot of people talking about it online. This is likely also combined with Millennials (my cohort at least) being one of the most self-aware generational cohorts in history (while also being a tad self-centered). I have my own journey with ADHD ("many markers" but no official diagnosis, as that could negatively affect my life in Sweden) and it was really liberating to learn that, no, I wasn't just lazy, that I may have an issue with executive function and if I work around it I can at least partially tackle it. The amount of stress that gets applied by society for people who are "not performing up to their potential" or slacking off or what-have-you is actually quite immense when you cannot force yourself to work, so I understand people who feel liberated in the moment and who seek solutions, loudly.
- nsagent 2y ago
  It seems odd that as a society it's been deemed a-okay to pathologize a cluster of traits shared by 30% of the population.
  - dijit 2y ago
    We as a society seem to enjoy doing that. Half of the population are provably on a different circadian rhythm than the other half, but we force everyone to function only one way. There’s a dozen more examples, related to psychiatry and medicine.
  - 0_____0 2y ago
    neurotypes exist in an n-dimensional space with loose clusterings, making binary attributes at best vague and clumsy. i hope we move away from pathologizing and toward making social and economic structures adaptive for people that are currently challenged by them, and likewise find better ways for people to adapt their lives to fit how their minds work
  - idiotsecant 2y ago
    So if 30% of people develop high blood pressure should be pretend that doesn't exist anymore as well?
    - viraptor 2y ago
      20% of people are infected with herpes. So yeah, definitely worth dealing with the common problems.
  - nxobject 2y ago
    Not necessarily pathologize – just structure society in a way that doesn't quite work for them (me included.)
- dwaltrip 2y ago
  My understanding is that ADHD prevalence is closer to 5-10%. That's the number I've seen most by reputable sources. Nonetheless, the rest of your post resonates with me and and your points stand on their own :)
couscouspie 2y ago
The problem with ADHD is, that the symptoms are very common and it is mostly the degree to which an actual case of ADHD is different from the neurotypical person. So, a big portion of the overall population feels like they might have it and many of them are willing to put in whatever work it takes to find a doctor that confirms their diagnosis.
- dwaltrip 2y ago
  Underdiagnosis is a much bigger issue. There are millions who are dealing with this alone and without awareness that can help them. Sincerely, person diagnosed at age 35
deleted 2y ago
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lolinder 2y ago
I think it's particularly common to see that with people who discover their ADHD in adulthood, and there are a lot of us now that awareness has been raised in recent years. I went my whole life thinking that I was broken. I had intense anxiety surrounding social interaction, was horribly depressed, got terrible grades through high school, and just generally did not enjoy most of life. I eventually learned how to cope and function normally to an outside observer, but still would go through cycles of intense anxiety and depression that I didn't know how to explain. A few years ago I finally was diagnosed with ADHD and suddenly everything clicked. My anxiety, my depression, my grades, my intense hyperfocus on one thing at a time but also inability to keep consistently focused on one thing for more than a few weeks. All of that suddenly made sense, and there were people in the world who knew exactly how I felt. And the thing is, the anxiety and depression have largely gone away. Now that I know what's going on inside my brain I don't have to beat myself up about it, instead I can learn from and lean on hundreds of thousands of other people who have to cope with the same thing. So yeah, today I will often notice "oh, that's an ADHD thing" at random times in my life. But it's not so much that it's an essential part of my identity as it is that it's enormously comforting to finally have an explanation for all of the weird quirks that I have, and it's a huge relief to have a community of people who experience the same things that I do. When I say "that's my ADHD", it's me reminding myself that I am not broken, just different, and different is okay.
- flakeoil 2y ago
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  - dpritchett 2y ago
    If ADHD-oriented media and discussions provide neurodivergent adults a means to work through decades of internalized shame and anxiety, why get in the way of that?
  - Onawa 2y ago
    Except that isn't how neurodivergence works. Yes, everything that the commenter originally posted are things that happen to normal people as well. The difference is in the intensity and duration of these symptoms. Your comment is overly idealistic about neurodivergent people dealing with their problems. If it was a simple as accepting that our symptoms are normal, don't you think that we would gladly take that as an option? Psychologically, it just isn't a very effective tactic for dealing with our symptoms.
y-curious 2y ago
During COVID, the amount of people diagnosed skyrocketed. I was one, and I was putting it off for a long time. I think you see it a lot because of this; If I'm a content creator, tagging it with ADHD puts it on the feed of a lot of people that are newly-diagnosed/self-diagnosed. I completely agree with you though, I don't mention it to people generally. I may be quirky and might have some weird rigid rules about how I work personally, but I hate the idea of sharing it publicly. Final note: I think it's a good marketing tool for productivity tools. "It's such a good to-do list that people with ADHD can find success with it! That implies that if you don't have ADHD, you will be a superhero when you use it!"
sussmannbaka 2y ago
fwiw I see more posts like yours than I see posts that your post describes.
conradev 2y ago
Labels in public health are absolutely problematic for exactly that reason. But I will also say that ADHD, if you have it, is an essential part of your identity regardless of your awareness of the label.
- astrange 2y ago
  I tend to find it's causing things even if I'm trying to avoid essentializing it, and this also goes for side effects of medications for it. eg relationship advice says you shouldn't "change your personality" for your partner, but in my last relationship both of ours changed quite a lot when our medication changed or even if we hadn't taken it that day, so I don't really feel attached to it.
- emptysongglass 2y ago
  It's not an essential part of my identity. There are symptoms that I sometimes and sometimes do not display that can be managed with medication and behavioral changes. Part of the problem is the identifying with a spectrum of symptoms we assume to be eternal and unchanging.
MarcelOlsz 2y ago
My life got infinitely better when I stopped believing in any of that. It feels more like a spiritually bereft western pseudo-religion and I resent anyone parading around these titles.
- fullstackchris 2y ago
  Definitely agree there. There seems like there is a label for EVERYTHING these days. Coincidentally there was an article in the paper I saw just today about how destructive self diagnosis can be (and how many gen z / alpha are doing that via tiktok) I rememeber when some first tried to explain ADHD to me... and I was like... "what? elementary school kids dont like sitting in a classroom for 6 hours a day? so like, being NORMAL?" Source: I had / (have?) ADHD, don't think about it at all anymore, just keep working hard, stick with hobbies and you can do great things regardless of what "labels" society has assigned you.
  - danaris 2y ago
    I think what's incredibly important to remember is that ADHD is not a binary thing. It's not even a single spectrum. It's a cluster of executive-function-related symptoms, any number of which a given person with the disorder can have a little, a lot, or even not at all. (I forget what all of them are offhand, but I have about a half-dozen of them in noticeable amounts, and several others that seriously debilitate many people with ADHD I've never had problems with.) So while you may be able to "[not] think about it...just keep working hard...and do great things regardless", that's guaranteed not to be true of everyone with ADHD. The worst advice anyone with ADHD can give someone else with it is "just do exactly what I did, and you'll never have problems again". That goes triple when "what you did" is ignore it. The best advice I know of is to learn and understand what having ADHD means to you. Then use that knowledge to figure out how best to mitigate the problems it causes. For some, that will be medication. For others (like me), it may mean finding specific interventions for individual symptoms, and learning to live with some of the others.
    - mathieuh 2y ago
gatienboquet 2y ago
I have ADHD and I've decided that it's part of my identity. I was diagnosed late at 28. When I got diagnosed, my psychologist told me that I had to reassess my life. Many behaviors that people had misinterpreted as laziness, carelessness, or lack of commitment were actually manifestations of my ADHD. Friends who thought I didn't care when I forgot plans, teachers who believed I wasn't trying hard enough, and colleagues who saw me as disorganized - they were all seeing untreated ADHD symptoms, not character flaws. Understanding this was liberating because it meant I wasn't fundamentally flawed as a person. I had to rebuild myself, my confidence - it was a new start in life. It's a process to relearn and teach yourself that you can do it now. Labeling publicly, saying to your friends and family that you are ADHD makes it so that you OWN your change, you OWN your disability. tldr, ADHD as an IDENTIY is for me : Reclaim control over your narrative instead of letting others define your behaviors Create accountability for yourself and set realistic expectations with others Remove shame from the equation by openly acknowledging your challenges Enable yourself to access appropriate accommodations and support systems
lawlessone 2y ago
> who tend to make it an essential part of their identity. I tend to notice that more with younger people who find out earlier and get it treated. Finding out in your 30's because you realize things shouldn't be going so inexplicably wrong is different.
- hexator 2y ago
  I think people in their 20s find it easier to make group identities, and being in a group that tends to be disadvantaged is a uniting force. This is true whether or not you actually have ADHD, which is a problem for sure.
no_wizard 2y ago
> I see a lot of people with ADHD (on- and offline) who tend to make it an essential part of their identity Honest question: why is this an issue? If someone makes it part of their identity its because they feel its important for others to know, and that can be for a variety of reasons. Is there a reason we shouldn't make it part of our identity, if we so choose?
- deleted 2y ago
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- theshackleford 2y ago
  Because they want to gatekeep it and how you are supposed to act with it.
  - idiotsecant 2y ago
    Boy, the unsubstantiated claims in this thread are really ramping up. Who's the 'they' in this case? You saw a person gatekeeping something one time so now it's some kind of problem to discuss real symptoms that impact people's lives in a very tangible way?
- mpalmer 2y ago
  You should choose what is right for you and accept that others won't like it, like anything else in life
- emptysongglass 2y ago
  Because attaching to an unstable spectrum of symptoms and making it an essential cornerstone of an "I" is a terrible idea, no matter who you are. The "I" is just as formless, slippery, and unstable. Secondly, when we do attach, we now have a shield we can use to abdicate responsibility for, well, the duties of being a human in a society. I've had to remind people who have thrown their hands up to exclaim, "I have ADHD!" that hey there buddy, so do I, but I still have to live my life right here in the same society/job/relationship they do. Where diagnoses like ADHD are useful is as frameworks to understanding your own symptoms, but there's no reason to pull them in as part of you, and I've seen a great deal of harm done in our generation by people insisting on playing out their identity fantasies.
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99_00 2y ago
What exactly is the point you are making? That ADHD is over diagnosed? That it doesn’t require tailored interventions or advice? That social media is exploiting interest in ADHD to provide low quality advice? Or something else? Can you clarify your point?
sfpotter 2y ago
I'm in the middle of pursuing an autism diagnosis as an adult, and despite the obvious manifold benefits it would bring to my family's life, judgment from people like you is the #1 reason I'm hesitating going through with it.
gejose 2y ago
This is SO true
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addicted 2y ago
Considering ADHD is poorly understood, historically highly underdiagnosed and significantly prevalent it’s not surprising there’s a lot of content about trying to to understand it for both people with and without ADHD.
hedayet 2y ago
I have ADHD. Here's my story: 1. I can focus and solve hard problems, but you’ll notice my legs swinging restlessly, hand gestures, or me suddenly typing a completely unrelated web address. 2. I was always a great student, but I was also the most restless; making jokes and talking constantly, no matter how hard I was punished for my behavior. 3. The toughest part of my ADHD is inconsistency. My performance can fluctuate a lot, and it takes tremendous effort to stay consistent. I get bored quickly with easy tasks, so I rely on alarms, calendar events, and other reminders to help me stay on track. 4. People like me are prime targets for distraction businesses, whether it’s social media, gambling, or other addictive behaviors. And a lot of my energy goes to resist them. All in all, even for a functioning person like myself - managing ADHD takes a lot of effort. In my late 30s, I’m finally feeling a bit more in control. I’ve accepted that this is part of who I am, and while I can’t fix it completely, I’m doing my best to avoid letting it impact the people around me.
- MrMcCall 2y ago
  I would recommend you pay careful attention to your diet - get the proper amount of essential fatty acids - experiment with vitamins, especially magnesium - green, leafy vegetables - minimal processed sugar & zero alcohol And exercise. Get some cardio, even if it's just walking for a half-hour to an hour. It's a struggle, but learning your body will help you optimize your performance and consistency. Peace be with you, and I wish you the best of luck.
  - protocolture 2y ago
    I was referred to a school counselor in high school because I couldn't sit still, my behavior was inconsistent and I had a hard time focusing. If that person had caught it, and referred me on to get an ADHD assessment, I would be miles better off. Instead he gave me exactly the advice you just did, and it achieved nothing. Guy actually owned the whole food / wellness / woo store he referred me to which makes it worse. Now I have my medication I look back on shit like this with absolute scorn. I know you probably intend the advice in good faith but its absolutely not a replacement for medicine.
addicted 2y ago
There’s so much survivor bias in these comments. We know what happens when ADHD is underdiagnosed and not recognized in society (which requires it to be labeled appropriately). You have scores of children who get labeled as “problematic” or “bad students” ans suffer from that discrimination for the rest of their lives. Labeling may not help a particular individual but helps all in society as a whole
DavidPiper 2y ago
As a roughly neurotypical person who watches a lot of YouTube, I find that ADHD-adjacent content is one of those recommendation spirals where if you click one video that even mentions ADHD in its content (e.g. "How to tidy your home with the Marie Kondo method") the algorithm will recommend you content explicitly addressing ADHD (e.g. "The best way to take notes with ADHD") for weeks. After clicking through a few of them that seemed interesting, I discovered the same thing you did: most of them take a very typical day-to-day problem (need to organise my wardrobe, need to organise my notes better) and frame it as an explicitly ADHD problem. I'm glad we live in a time of greater awareness, and I'm glad people are receiving useful diagnoses that lead to management that improves peoples' quality of life. I'm very happy for people who eventually find ADHD can be their superpower rather than a detriment. But I do wonder if there's a quiet grift going on (maybe just on YouTube? Not sure) taking advantage of this. There are a lot of people saying "You have ADHD therefore you have this specific problem that neurotypical people don't" - where the first half might be true, but the second half is not. Which seems to me to be framing the identity / otherness-from-neurotypical-ness in an unhealthy way in order to push more content. And possibly leading to the over-attribution of everything to ADHD rather than just... life. Again, I don't want to minimise the impact of ADHD or the problems it can create for people, but this is definitely a pattern I've seen pop up on the Internet only in the last 5 or 6 years.
XCSme 2y ago
I also feel like A LOT of people have ADHD (a lot more than it was initially estimated). I think like 50% or more of the population is neurodivergent (or maybe it's because neurodivergent people tend to group together, so everyone around you seems neurodivergent too).
- singpolyma3 2y ago
  If the majority are divergent, then what are they divergent from?
  - XCSme 2y ago
    Then the variable name is wrong...
all2 2y ago
I have symptoms. My only approach is to mitigate through diet, exercise, sleep, and a small dose of caffeine and nicotine. Oh, and limiting decision making (automate, defer, or grease the rails), avoid attention traps (endless scrolling). And so on. In my mind, ADHD and identification with ADHD (self labeling, medical system labels, etc.) is only a liability.
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dragonwriter 2y ago
> What happened to "music for concentration"? ADHD is a structural brain difference that results in different and in some cases paradoxical responses to various things that affect alertness, attention, etc. Which makes a very good reason to distinguishing between things “for concentration” (presumably targeting neurotypical audiences) and things “for ADHD”.
h4ny 2y ago
By "a lot of people with ADHD" do you include people who are also self-diagnosed? I ask because my experience is similar to yours (I also have ADHD). Anecdotal so take it with a grain of salt: I work in software engineering, know and have worked with a lot of self-diagnosed ADHDs who make it part of their identity, while some of them probably do have ADHD, the vast majority of them feel like perfectly normal people who would latch onto any opportunity to prove that they have ADHD. (e.g. people who have a single habit that could be stimming but otherwise don't exhibit and ADHD traits saying stuff like "sorry I can't help myself because of my ADHD brain"). In contrast those I know who have been properly diagnosed don't behave like they constantly need to tell people they have ADHD. They are usually deeply interested in the condition but you probably wouldn't know unless there is a proper setting for them to disclose it (invited to talk to an audience about their experience) or if you're someone they trust. It feels like people who have the tendency to make ADHD part of their identity just want to been seen as special and important in some way (I don't mean this negatively) perhaps because that's how they see their genuinely neurodivergent peers. They tend to have many excuses for not getting a diagnosis because they won't risk the chance of finding out that they don't have ADHD as they have already made it part of their identity. On the uglier side, there is also no shortage of people lying about having medical conditions for clout and money on the Internet.
- no_wizard 2y ago
  My team knows I have it because I am on the severe side of the spectrum, but I otherwise agree with the general take that those who are properly diagnosed are less likely to make it part of their identity or let people know than those who aren’t. It’s likely that those using it in a self diagnosed way are using it as a way to have an excuse for something they do that is unpleasant. That said, I have no trouble freely talking about it either. The shame is gone for me now. It is part of my life therefore my identity in some form
scojjac 2y ago
Yeah making it a focal point of identity seems to be very popular online and I find it extremely offputting. For myself, medication helped little if at all and sometimes made me feel worse. Although I do notice a difference in my ability to focus with good diet and exercise, the biggest positive changes come from better sleep habits and nearly eliminating unnecessary tech use. ADHD is a dopamine disorder and our smartphones are little slot machines.
petesergeant 2y ago
If you want a test for Huntington’s Disease in the UK — a terrible degenerative disease — they basically tell you no. You can appeal and do a long course of genetic counselling where at the end they’ll give you the choice, if you still want one. This is the reason: people who know they’re definitely carrying the gene will start to ascribe any clumsiness, any brain fog, anything at all to the disease once they know they’re definitely carrying definitely have it.
blitzar 2y ago
> I see a lot of people with ADHD who tend to make it an essential part of their identity I have seen the same thing with everything from cancer to divorce to death of a child.
black_13 2y ago
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dileeparanawake 2y ago
Agree & disagree. Agree - some neurodiversity products / self help products are very predatory and aim to make people think it’s the solution for their struggles when they aren’t. A label by itself isn’t useful until, you understand the condition, how it impacts you, and what things you can do to make your life better, know you know. Re symptoms like “daydreaming whilst reading a book” tbh think this misses the point. The frequency a barrier happens and the amount of disruption it causes to someone’s everyday is highly significant. Neurotypical people also daydream whilst reading a book. The difference is if you can’t focus on a book so much you barely get through the first page, on every page you attempt etc. I’m adhd, autistic and dyslexic. The value of these diagnosis is to be empowered to understand myself, rock where I rock, accept the things I probably will waste time trying to fix, and use various things to address the challenges I have, that are possible to address and worth effort.
dr0verride 2y ago
It's a defence mechanism, I think. Most of your life people tell you your lazy, weird, etc. These things become part of your identity and they hurt and hold you back. ADHD is a problem with solutions so replacing those internalized labels helps. Even if it's not the most healthy solution.

bluedino 2y ago

Similar things exist for dyslexia, introverts, etc

GlacierFox 2y ago

[flagged]

dijit 2y ago

It's likely a definitive example of selection bias, you won't hear people not talking about having it, but ADHD affects (approximately) 30% of the population. Assuming even a tiny amount of those are loud when exploring their discovery would mean a lot of people talking about it online. This is likely also combined with Millennials (my cohort at least) being one of the most self-aware generational cohorts in history (while also being a tad self-centered). I have my own journey with ADHD ("many markers" but no official diagnosis, as that could negatively affect my life in Sweden) and it was really liberating to learn that, no, I wasn't just lazy, that I may have an issue with executive function and if I work around it I can at least partially tackle it. The amount of stress that gets applied by society for people who are "not performing up to their potential" or slacking off or what-have-you is actually quite immense when you cannot force yourself to work, so I understand people who feel liberated in the moment and who seek solutions, loudly.

nsagent 2y ago
It seems odd that as a society it's been deemed a-okay to pathologize a cluster of traits shared by 30% of the population.
- dijit 2y ago
  We as a society seem to enjoy doing that. Half of the population are provably on a different circadian rhythm than the other half, but we force everyone to function only one way. There’s a dozen more examples, related to psychiatry and medicine.
- 0_____0 2y ago
  neurotypes exist in an n-dimensional space with loose clusterings, making binary attributes at best vague and clumsy. i hope we move away from pathologizing and toward making social and economic structures adaptive for people that are currently challenged by them, and likewise find better ways for people to adapt their lives to fit how their minds work
- idiotsecant 2y ago
  So if 30% of people develop high blood pressure should be pretend that doesn't exist anymore as well?
  - viraptor 2y ago
    20% of people are infected with herpes. So yeah, definitely worth dealing with the common problems.
- nxobject 2y ago
  Not necessarily pathologize – just structure society in a way that doesn't quite work for them (me included.)
dwaltrip 2y ago
My understanding is that ADHD prevalence is closer to 5-10%. That's the number I've seen most by reputable sources. Nonetheless, the rest of your post resonates with me and and your points stand on their own :)

couscouspie 2y ago

The problem with ADHD is, that the symptoms are very common and it is mostly the degree to which an actual case of ADHD is different from the neurotypical person. So, a big portion of the overall population feels like they might have it and many of them are willing to put in whatever work it takes to find a doctor that confirms their diagnosis.

dwaltrip 2y ago
Underdiagnosis is a much bigger issue. There are millions who are dealing with this alone and without awareness that can help them. Sincerely, person diagnosed at age 35

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lolinder 2y ago

I think it's particularly common to see that with people who discover their ADHD in adulthood, and there are a lot of us now that awareness has been raised in recent years. I went my whole life thinking that I was broken. I had intense anxiety surrounding social interaction, was horribly depressed, got terrible grades through high school, and just generally did not enjoy most of life. I eventually learned how to cope and function normally to an outside observer, but still would go through cycles of intense anxiety and depression that I didn't know how to explain. A few years ago I finally was diagnosed with ADHD and suddenly everything clicked. My anxiety, my depression, my grades, my intense hyperfocus on one thing at a time but also inability to keep consistently focused on one thing for more than a few weeks. All of that suddenly made sense, and there were people in the world who knew exactly how I felt. And the thing is, the anxiety and depression have largely gone away. Now that I know what's going on inside my brain I don't have to beat myself up about it, instead I can learn from and lean on hundreds of thousands of other people who have to cope with the same thing. So yeah, today I will often notice "oh, that's an ADHD thing" at random times in my life. But it's not so much that it's an essential part of my identity as it is that it's enormously comforting to finally have an explanation for all of the weird quirks that I have, and it's a huge relief to have a community of people who experience the same things that I do. When I say "that's my ADHD", it's me reminding myself that I am not broken, just different, and different is okay.

flakeoil 2y ago
[flagged]
- deleted 2y ago
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- dpritchett 2y ago
  If ADHD-oriented media and discussions provide neurodivergent adults a means to work through decades of internalized shame and anxiety, why get in the way of that?
- Onawa 2y ago
  Except that isn't how neurodivergence works. Yes, everything that the commenter originally posted are things that happen to normal people as well. The difference is in the intensity and duration of these symptoms. Your comment is overly idealistic about neurodivergent people dealing with their problems. If it was a simple as accepting that our symptoms are normal, don't you think that we would gladly take that as an option? Psychologically, it just isn't a very effective tactic for dealing with our symptoms.

y-curious 2y ago

During COVID, the amount of people diagnosed skyrocketed. I was one, and I was putting it off for a long time. I think you see it a lot because of this; If I'm a content creator, tagging it with ADHD puts it on the feed of a lot of people that are newly-diagnosed/self-diagnosed. I completely agree with you though, I don't mention it to people generally. I may be quirky and might have some weird rigid rules about how I work personally, but I hate the idea of sharing it publicly. Final note: I think it's a good marketing tool for productivity tools. "It's such a good to-do list that people with ADHD can find success with it! That implies that if you don't have ADHD, you will be a superhero when you use it!"

sussmannbaka 2y ago

fwiw I see more posts like yours than I see posts that your post describes.

conradev 2y ago

Labels in public health are absolutely problematic for exactly that reason. But I will also say that ADHD, if you have it, is an essential part of your identity regardless of your awareness of the label.

astrange 2y ago
I tend to find it's causing things even if I'm trying to avoid essentializing it, and this also goes for side effects of medications for it. eg relationship advice says you shouldn't "change your personality" for your partner, but in my last relationship both of ours changed quite a lot when our medication changed or even if we hadn't taken it that day, so I don't really feel attached to it.
emptysongglass 2y ago
It's not an essential part of my identity. There are symptoms that I sometimes and sometimes do not display that can be managed with medication and behavioral changes. Part of the problem is the identifying with a spectrum of symptoms we assume to be eternal and unchanging.

MarcelOlsz 2y ago

My life got infinitely better when I stopped believing in any of that. It feels more like a spiritually bereft western pseudo-religion and I resent anyone parading around these titles.

fullstackchris 2y ago
Definitely agree there. There seems like there is a label for EVERYTHING these days. Coincidentally there was an article in the paper I saw just today about how destructive self diagnosis can be (and how many gen z / alpha are doing that via tiktok) I rememeber when some first tried to explain ADHD to me... and I was like... "what? elementary school kids dont like sitting in a classroom for 6 hours a day? so like, being NORMAL?" Source: I had / (have?) ADHD, don't think about it at all anymore, just keep working hard, stick with hobbies and you can do great things regardless of what "labels" society has assigned you.
- danaris 2y ago
  I think what's incredibly important to remember is that ADHD is not a binary thing. It's not even a single spectrum. It's a cluster of executive-function-related symptoms, any number of which a given person with the disorder can have a little, a lot, or even not at all. (I forget what all of them are offhand, but I have about a half-dozen of them in noticeable amounts, and several others that seriously debilitate many people with ADHD I've never had problems with.) So while you may be able to "[not] think about it...just keep working hard...and do great things regardless", that's guaranteed not to be true of everyone with ADHD. The worst advice anyone with ADHD can give someone else with it is "just do exactly what I did, and you'll never have problems again". That goes triple when "what you did" is ignore it. The best advice I know of is to learn and understand what having ADHD means to you. Then use that knowledge to figure out how best to mitigate the problems it causes. For some, that will be medication. For others (like me), it may mean finding specific interventions for individual symptoms, and learning to live with some of the others.
  - mathieuh 2y ago

gatienboquet 2y ago

I have ADHD and I've decided that it's part of my identity. I was diagnosed late at 28. When I got diagnosed, my psychologist told me that I had to reassess my life. Many behaviors that people had misinterpreted as laziness, carelessness, or lack of commitment were actually manifestations of my ADHD. Friends who thought I didn't care when I forgot plans, teachers who believed I wasn't trying hard enough, and colleagues who saw me as disorganized - they were all seeing untreated ADHD symptoms, not character flaws. Understanding this was liberating because it meant I wasn't fundamentally flawed as a person. I had to rebuild myself, my confidence - it was a new start in life. It's a process to relearn and teach yourself that you can do it now. Labeling publicly, saying to your friends and family that you are ADHD makes it so that you OWN your change, you OWN your disability. tldr, ADHD as an IDENTIY is for me : Reclaim control over your narrative instead of letting others define your behaviors Create accountability for yourself and set realistic expectations with others Remove shame from the equation by openly acknowledging your challenges Enable yourself to access appropriate accommodations and support systems

lawlessone 2y ago

> who tend to make it an essential part of their identity. I tend to notice that more with younger people who find out earlier and get it treated. Finding out in your 30's because you realize things shouldn't be going so inexplicably wrong is different.

hexator 2y ago
I think people in their 20s find it easier to make group identities, and being in a group that tends to be disadvantaged is a uniting force. This is true whether or not you actually have ADHD, which is a problem for sure.

no_wizard 2y ago

> I see a lot of people with ADHD (on- and offline) who tend to make it an essential part of their identity Honest question: why is this an issue? If someone makes it part of their identity its because they feel its important for others to know, and that can be for a variety of reasons. Is there a reason we shouldn't make it part of our identity, if we so choose?

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theshackleford 2y ago
Because they want to gatekeep it and how you are supposed to act with it.
- idiotsecant 2y ago
  Boy, the unsubstantiated claims in this thread are really ramping up. Who's the 'they' in this case? You saw a person gatekeeping something one time so now it's some kind of problem to discuss real symptoms that impact people's lives in a very tangible way?
mpalmer 2y ago
You should choose what is right for you and accept that others won't like it, like anything else in life
emptysongglass 2y ago
Because attaching to an unstable spectrum of symptoms and making it an essential cornerstone of an "I" is a terrible idea, no matter who you are. The "I" is just as formless, slippery, and unstable. Secondly, when we do attach, we now have a shield we can use to abdicate responsibility for, well, the duties of being a human in a society. I've had to remind people who have thrown their hands up to exclaim, "I have ADHD!" that hey there buddy, so do I, but I still have to live my life right here in the same society/job/relationship they do. Where diagnoses like ADHD are useful is as frameworks to understanding your own symptoms, but there's no reason to pull them in as part of you, and I've seen a great deal of harm done in our generation by people insisting on playing out their identity fantasies.

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99_00 2y ago

What exactly is the point you are making? That ADHD is over diagnosed? That it doesn’t require tailored interventions or advice? That social media is exploiting interest in ADHD to provide low quality advice? Or something else? Can you clarify your point?

sfpotter 2y ago

I'm in the middle of pursuing an autism diagnosis as an adult, and despite the obvious manifold benefits it would bring to my family's life, judgment from people like you is the #1 reason I'm hesitating going through with it.

gejose 2y ago

This is SO true

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addicted 2y ago

Considering ADHD is poorly understood, historically highly underdiagnosed and significantly prevalent it’s not surprising there’s a lot of content about trying to to understand it for both people with and without ADHD.

hedayet 2y ago

I have ADHD. Here's my story: 1. I can focus and solve hard problems, but you’ll notice my legs swinging restlessly, hand gestures, or me suddenly typing a completely unrelated web address. 2. I was always a great student, but I was also the most restless; making jokes and talking constantly, no matter how hard I was punished for my behavior. 3. The toughest part of my ADHD is inconsistency. My performance can fluctuate a lot, and it takes tremendous effort to stay consistent. I get bored quickly with easy tasks, so I rely on alarms, calendar events, and other reminders to help me stay on track. 4. People like me are prime targets for distraction businesses, whether it’s social media, gambling, or other addictive behaviors. And a lot of my energy goes to resist them. All in all, even for a functioning person like myself - managing ADHD takes a lot of effort. In my late 30s, I’m finally feeling a bit more in control. I’ve accepted that this is part of who I am, and while I can’t fix it completely, I’m doing my best to avoid letting it impact the people around me.

MrMcCall 2y ago
I would recommend you pay careful attention to your diet - get the proper amount of essential fatty acids - experiment with vitamins, especially magnesium - green, leafy vegetables - minimal processed sugar & zero alcohol And exercise. Get some cardio, even if it's just walking for a half-hour to an hour. It's a struggle, but learning your body will help you optimize your performance and consistency. Peace be with you, and I wish you the best of luck.
- protocolture 2y ago
  I was referred to a school counselor in high school because I couldn't sit still, my behavior was inconsistent and I had a hard time focusing. If that person had caught it, and referred me on to get an ADHD assessment, I would be miles better off. Instead he gave me exactly the advice you just did, and it achieved nothing. Guy actually owned the whole food / wellness / woo store he referred me to which makes it worse. Now I have my medication I look back on shit like this with absolute scorn. I know you probably intend the advice in good faith but its absolutely not a replacement for medicine.

addicted 2y ago

There’s so much survivor bias in these comments. We know what happens when ADHD is underdiagnosed and not recognized in society (which requires it to be labeled appropriately). You have scores of children who get labeled as “problematic” or “bad students” ans suffer from that discrimination for the rest of their lives. Labeling may not help a particular individual but helps all in society as a whole

DavidPiper 2y ago

As a roughly neurotypical person who watches a lot of YouTube, I find that ADHD-adjacent content is one of those recommendation spirals where if you click one video that even mentions ADHD in its content (e.g. "How to tidy your home with the Marie Kondo method") the algorithm will recommend you content explicitly addressing ADHD (e.g. "The best way to take notes with ADHD") for weeks. After clicking through a few of them that seemed interesting, I discovered the same thing you did: most of them take a very typical day-to-day problem (need to organise my wardrobe, need to organise my notes better) and frame it as an explicitly ADHD problem. I'm glad we live in a time of greater awareness, and I'm glad people are receiving useful diagnoses that lead to management that improves peoples' quality of life. I'm very happy for people who eventually find ADHD can be their superpower rather than a detriment. But I do wonder if there's a quiet grift going on (maybe just on YouTube? Not sure) taking advantage of this. There are a lot of people saying "You have ADHD therefore you have this specific problem that neurotypical people don't" - where the first half might be true, but the second half is not. Which seems to me to be framing the identity / otherness-from-neurotypical-ness in an unhealthy way in order to push more content. And possibly leading to the over-attribution of everything to ADHD rather than just... life. Again, I don't want to minimise the impact of ADHD or the problems it can create for people, but this is definitely a pattern I've seen pop up on the Internet only in the last 5 or 6 years.

XCSme 2y ago

I also feel like A LOT of people have ADHD (a lot more than it was initially estimated). I think like 50% or more of the population is neurodivergent (or maybe it's because neurodivergent people tend to group together, so everyone around you seems neurodivergent too).

singpolyma3 2y ago
If the majority are divergent, then what are they divergent from?
- XCSme 2y ago
  Then the variable name is wrong...

all2 2y ago

I have symptoms. My only approach is to mitigate through diet, exercise, sleep, and a small dose of caffeine and nicotine. Oh, and limiting decision making (automate, defer, or grease the rails), avoid attention traps (endless scrolling). And so on. In my mind, ADHD and identification with ADHD (self labeling, medical system labels, etc.) is only a liability.

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dragonwriter 2y ago

> What happened to "music for concentration"? ADHD is a structural brain difference that results in different and in some cases paradoxical responses to various things that affect alertness, attention, etc. Which makes a very good reason to distinguishing between things “for concentration” (presumably targeting neurotypical audiences) and things “for ADHD”.

h4ny 2y ago

By "a lot of people with ADHD" do you include people who are also self-diagnosed? I ask because my experience is similar to yours (I also have ADHD). Anecdotal so take it with a grain of salt: I work in software engineering, know and have worked with a lot of self-diagnosed ADHDs who make it part of their identity, while some of them probably do have ADHD, the vast majority of them feel like perfectly normal people who would latch onto any opportunity to prove that they have ADHD. (e.g. people who have a single habit that could be stimming but otherwise don't exhibit and ADHD traits saying stuff like "sorry I can't help myself because of my ADHD brain"). In contrast those I know who have been properly diagnosed don't behave like they constantly need to tell people they have ADHD. They are usually deeply interested in the condition but you probably wouldn't know unless there is a proper setting for them to disclose it (invited to talk to an audience about their experience) or if you're someone they trust. It feels like people who have the tendency to make ADHD part of their identity just want to been seen as special and important in some way (I don't mean this negatively) perhaps because that's how they see their genuinely neurodivergent peers. They tend to have many excuses for not getting a diagnosis because they won't risk the chance of finding out that they don't have ADHD as they have already made it part of their identity. On the uglier side, there is also no shortage of people lying about having medical conditions for clout and money on the Internet.

no_wizard 2y ago
My team knows I have it because I am on the severe side of the spectrum, but I otherwise agree with the general take that those who are properly diagnosed are less likely to make it part of their identity or let people know than those who aren’t. It’s likely that those using it in a self diagnosed way are using it as a way to have an excuse for something they do that is unpleasant. That said, I have no trouble freely talking about it either. The shame is gone for me now. It is part of my life therefore my identity in some form

scojjac 2y ago

Yeah making it a focal point of identity seems to be very popular online and I find it extremely offputting. For myself, medication helped little if at all and sometimes made me feel worse. Although I do notice a difference in my ability to focus with good diet and exercise, the biggest positive changes come from better sleep habits and nearly eliminating unnecessary tech use. ADHD is a dopamine disorder and our smartphones are little slot machines.

petesergeant 2y ago

If you want a test for Huntington’s Disease in the UK — a terrible degenerative disease — they basically tell you no. You can appeal and do a long course of genetic counselling where at the end they’ll give you the choice, if you still want one. This is the reason: people who know they’re definitely carrying the gene will start to ascribe any clumsiness, any brain fog, anything at all to the disease once they know they’re definitely carrying definitely have it.

blitzar 2y ago

> I see a lot of people with ADHD who tend to make it an essential part of their identity I have seen the same thing with everything from cancer to divorce to death of a child.

black_13 2y ago

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dileeparanawake 2y ago

Agree & disagree. Agree - some neurodiversity products / self help products are very predatory and aim to make people think it’s the solution for their struggles when they aren’t. A label by itself isn’t useful until, you understand the condition, how it impacts you, and what things you can do to make your life better, know you know. Re symptoms like “daydreaming whilst reading a book” tbh think this misses the point. The frequency a barrier happens and the amount of disruption it causes to someone’s everyday is highly significant. Neurotypical people also daydream whilst reading a book. The difference is if you can’t focus on a book so much you barely get through the first page, on every page you attempt etc. I’m adhd, autistic and dyslexic. The value of these diagnosis is to be empowered to understand myself, rock where I rock, accept the things I probably will waste time trying to fix, and use various things to address the challenges I have, that are possible to address and worth effort.

dr0verride 2y ago

It's a defence mechanism, I think. Most of your life people tell you your lazy, weird, etc. These things become part of your identity and they hurt and hold you back. ADHD is a problem with solutions so replacing those internalized labels helps. Even if it's not the most healthy solution.