5 ms·

Apropos of little (with apologies), it's remarkable how much less I loathe people since I nuked my Facebook account. I hadn't even been a regular user for years

by flkiwi 2y ago

Apropos of little (with apologies), it's remarkable how much less I loathe people since I nuked my Facebook account. I hadn't even been a regular user for years, but walking away--which involved changing my password to something I didn't save and an expiring email address rather than deleting my account--has just generally improved my attitude about both individuals I know and people in general.

abalashov 2y ago
I’d be curious to learn more about that, having flirted with the same idea.
- Liquix 2y ago
  1. Delete or revoke your own access to social media accounts 2. Enjoy increased quality of life Easier said than done, but those are the only steps
- freehorse 2y ago
  Once I had changed my soc media passwords and encrypted them in a way that it would have taken several hours to bruteforce. Thus I could stay out of them until I felt being in a better place without losing them, and in the meantime I would not give in due to some impulse because in the time I would put an effort to decrypt them the impulse would be gone. That's the only thing that worked, just blocking access somehow or whatever did not work because it was too easy/fast to circumvent.
- aeontech 2y ago
  I use an app called Clearspace on iOS - it hooks into the screen time API and prompts you with a "breathe in / breathe out" timer before it allows you to unblock the app. It also lets you unblock it for a specific configurable time period, and auto-closes the app once that period expires. I found it gives me just enough friction that most of the time, the impulse to open the app passes while I wait for the breath timer to run out. Simply using the OS screen time limit on its own is not really enough, because it's too easy to dismiss and override the block. Having a brief timer to help you consider whether my action is intentional or driven by anxiety or thoughtless boredom really helps.
robotnikman 2y ago
I remember abandoning it about a decade ago when I was still in college. It was making me miserable constantly comparing myself to the highlights of other peoples lives. Unfortunately, it seems like the human mind has a tendency towards comparing oneself to others, and I wouldn't be surprised if the algorithm took advantage of that. I stopped using it and instead focused on myself, I felt much happier afterwards.
- Loughla 2y ago
  It's fascinating seeing social media impact my friends and family. I deleted Facebook when it was being opened up to more than college students. HN is the only social media I use, if you want to define it that way. My friends went through a phase in their 20's where they were comparing themselves to social media people. They all struggled with feeling inadequate. I waited until my mid life crisis to do that. They're getting to do it again. Fascinating.
jncfhnb 2y ago
Why not delete the account
- bartread 2y ago
  One reason is so somebody who isn’t you can’t (as easily) set up an account pretending to be you for scammy, misinformation, or propaganda purposes.
  - dwighttk 2y ago
    My mom probably has 5 imitator accounts (using her picture and name) and I have two (despite only getting on Facebook once or twice a year). Asking Facebook to delete them does not result in them being deleted. (They don’t seem to do anything beyond gather some followers from her… maybe they’re DMing those followers through)
    - jncfhnb 2y ago
      Don’t they have safeguards against duplicate genuine accounts? How are folks making duplicate malicious ones?
      - dwighttk 2y ago
        I have no idea… the accounts are obviously dupes… my mom is very active and they are not… I still get messages back from Facebook saying they’ve investigated and decided they are legit accounts. (I have the same experience with my dupes, except I’m not active, though I am more active than my dupes)
      - etc-hosts 2y ago
        Facebooks AI policing of content is a failure. when I report totally unhinged blatant Nazi content, the response a few days later is always "we didn't find a violation, we realize this is disappointing."
        2y ago
graeber_28927 2y ago
I still log on from time to time, about once a month, because my family uploads pics in a group after family events, and fb is the only place eveyone is on. Everytime I open FB, and scroll a little, I feel like an outsider looking into a crazy circus of clown people. I don't get why others don't see what I see. "I just graduated" - someone whose sibling I met 15 years ago, but whose name I wouldn't recognize without a picture attached "So proud of my daughter" - a mother who attended a piano concert, couldn't wait to even get home before posting on fb, and will tell her family at dinner how many of her adult friends commented on it, whom none if her family care about. <vacation selfie> - middle school classmate, or former colleague, who posts swiss climbing and bali surfing images every week, as if they had no life no work just money to burn. "<long story>, so anyway, that's where I found this purse, please share and repost. You have to prove ownership by reciting the washing machine instructions on the label." - individual who has nothing happening in their life, so they make a blockbuster adventure out of someone's misfortune, rather than handing the purse to the reception in the restaurant where they found it. Oh, and I always see ten new invitations from people, who would never contact me individually, to events those people know I would never attend, for the nth time despite me never having reacting before.l
- squigz 2y ago
  Most of your examples are just people sharing things about their lives. If you don't know them or care about those things, isn't that on you to remove them from your Facebook, or just... ignore them? Where's the crazy clown circus exactly?
  - pjerem 2y ago
    I mean, I do share those sorts of things on the internet … except it’s in little messaging groups. The issue is not sharing little "uninteresting" things about your life, it’s sharing them with a random audience.
- tehjoker 2y ago
  i thought you were gonna say something about boomers sharing the most detatched from reality posts about politics you've ever seen in your lifetime, but instead you appear to just be anti-social
Henchman21 2y ago
I did the same with Reddit and got the same result. I cannot recommend it enough!
- IrishTechie 2y ago
  I found unsubscribing from all the default subs and just subscribing to your hobbies was very effective on Reddit.
  - Henchman21 2y ago
    I was unable to do that. The pull of /r/all and that sweet, sweet dopamine hit! Or dipping into the rage bait or anything political… If what you’re saying works for you that’s fantastic! It absolutely didn’t work for me. My assessment is that I lack the discipline required.
    - RockRobotRock 2y ago
      Plenty of rage bait exists in hobbies too. There’s an entire subreddit for that. HN isn’t immune to that too obviously.
- hattar 2y ago
  uBO with the following custom filter fixed Reddit for me: ||reddit.com^$document @@||reddit.com/r/*/comments/$document It allows me to look at individual posts which lets me search and view specific answers, but blocks the lists of posts. I get the benefit of Reddit without getting sucked into the time wasting feed.
  - netsharc 2y ago
    New job (or browser), first look into Stack Overflow, glance through "Hot Network Questions", install uBO, new custom rule (via the Block Element tool), edit it to apply to their millions of subdomains...
jajko 2y ago
Its a soul cancer, all 'social' networks are. More like asocial. In theory they could be a real added value for whole mankind, but corporate money and endless greed of those in power there made it what it is. To all ya working on making these misery machines even more efficient - you never feel ashamed of yourself for what you do? Is the money really worth losing respect for oneself and others as a good human being? Or it attracts same crowd as founder - asocial high performing sociopaths who couldn't care less?
wileydragonfly 2y ago
Yeah, I tried that, and then friends and neighbors show up and they’re all blitzing you with the same catch phrases and you’re sitting there flabbergasted. I hope the hole your head is buried in is comfortable.
- renewedrebecca 2y ago
  > I hope the hole your head is buried in is comfortable. Not being on Facebook is burying your head in a hole? I mean, really, why say something like that?
  - TheNewsIsHere 2y ago
    It may shock some to learn that there are literally billions of people who aren’t on social media sites.
- remuskaos 2y ago
  I've been off Facebook for close to eight years, but somehow I still have friends who I can talk to.
TheNewsIsHere 2y ago
I am curious why you chose that route to abandon your Facebook account rather than deactivate or delete it. My concern in doing this would be that there is an authentic profile out there under my real name, now entirely (and effectively forever) beyond my control.

by flkiwi 2y ago

abalashov 2y ago

I’d be curious to learn more about that, having flirted with the same idea.

Liquix 2y ago
1. Delete or revoke your own access to social media accounts 2. Enjoy increased quality of life Easier said than done, but those are the only steps
freehorse 2y ago
Once I had changed my soc media passwords and encrypted them in a way that it would have taken several hours to bruteforce. Thus I could stay out of them until I felt being in a better place without losing them, and in the meantime I would not give in due to some impulse because in the time I would put an effort to decrypt them the impulse would be gone. That's the only thing that worked, just blocking access somehow or whatever did not work because it was too easy/fast to circumvent.
aeontech 2y ago
I use an app called Clearspace on iOS - it hooks into the screen time API and prompts you with a "breathe in / breathe out" timer before it allows you to unblock the app. It also lets you unblock it for a specific configurable time period, and auto-closes the app once that period expires. I found it gives me just enough friction that most of the time, the impulse to open the app passes while I wait for the breath timer to run out. Simply using the OS screen time limit on its own is not really enough, because it's too easy to dismiss and override the block. Having a brief timer to help you consider whether my action is intentional or driven by anxiety or thoughtless boredom really helps.

robotnikman 2y ago

I remember abandoning it about a decade ago when I was still in college. It was making me miserable constantly comparing myself to the highlights of other peoples lives. Unfortunately, it seems like the human mind has a tendency towards comparing oneself to others, and I wouldn't be surprised if the algorithm took advantage of that. I stopped using it and instead focused on myself, I felt much happier afterwards.

Loughla 2y ago
It's fascinating seeing social media impact my friends and family. I deleted Facebook when it was being opened up to more than college students. HN is the only social media I use, if you want to define it that way. My friends went through a phase in their 20's where they were comparing themselves to social media people. They all struggled with feeling inadequate. I waited until my mid life crisis to do that. They're getting to do it again. Fascinating.

jncfhnb 2y ago

Why not delete the account

bartread 2y ago
One reason is so somebody who isn’t you can’t (as easily) set up an account pretending to be you for scammy, misinformation, or propaganda purposes.
- dwighttk 2y ago
  My mom probably has 5 imitator accounts (using her picture and name) and I have two (despite only getting on Facebook once or twice a year). Asking Facebook to delete them does not result in them being deleted. (They don’t seem to do anything beyond gather some followers from her… maybe they’re DMing those followers through)
  - jncfhnb 2y ago
    Don’t they have safeguards against duplicate genuine accounts? How are folks making duplicate malicious ones?
    - dwighttk 2y ago
      I have no idea… the accounts are obviously dupes… my mom is very active and they are not… I still get messages back from Facebook saying they’ve investigated and decided they are legit accounts. (I have the same experience with my dupes, except I’m not active, though I am more active than my dupes)
    - etc-hosts 2y ago
      Facebooks AI policing of content is a failure. when I report totally unhinged blatant Nazi content, the response a few days later is always "we didn't find a violation, we realize this is disappointing."
      - 2y ago

graeber_28927 2y ago

I still log on from time to time, about once a month, because my family uploads pics in a group after family events, and fb is the only place eveyone is on. Everytime I open FB, and scroll a little, I feel like an outsider looking into a crazy circus of clown people. I don't get why others don't see what I see. "I just graduated" - someone whose sibling I met 15 years ago, but whose name I wouldn't recognize without a picture attached "So proud of my daughter" - a mother who attended a piano concert, couldn't wait to even get home before posting on fb, and will tell her family at dinner how many of her adult friends commented on it, whom none if her family care about. <vacation selfie> - middle school classmate, or former colleague, who posts swiss climbing and bali surfing images every week, as if they had no life no work just money to burn. "<long story>, so anyway, that's where I found this purse, please share and repost. You have to prove ownership by reciting the washing machine instructions on the label." - individual who has nothing happening in their life, so they make a blockbuster adventure out of someone's misfortune, rather than handing the purse to the reception in the restaurant where they found it. Oh, and I always see ten new invitations from people, who would never contact me individually, to events those people know I would never attend, for the nth time despite me never having reacting before.l

squigz 2y ago
Most of your examples are just people sharing things about their lives. If you don't know them or care about those things, isn't that on you to remove them from your Facebook, or just... ignore them? Where's the crazy clown circus exactly?
- pjerem 2y ago
  I mean, I do share those sorts of things on the internet … except it’s in little messaging groups. The issue is not sharing little "uninteresting" things about your life, it’s sharing them with a random audience.
tehjoker 2y ago
i thought you were gonna say something about boomers sharing the most detatched from reality posts about politics you've ever seen in your lifetime, but instead you appear to just be anti-social

Henchman21 2y ago

I did the same with Reddit and got the same result. I cannot recommend it enough!

IrishTechie 2y ago
I found unsubscribing from all the default subs and just subscribing to your hobbies was very effective on Reddit.
- Henchman21 2y ago
  I was unable to do that. The pull of /r/all and that sweet, sweet dopamine hit! Or dipping into the rage bait or anything political… If what you’re saying works for you that’s fantastic! It absolutely didn’t work for me. My assessment is that I lack the discipline required.
  - RockRobotRock 2y ago
    Plenty of rage bait exists in hobbies too. There’s an entire subreddit for that. HN isn’t immune to that too obviously.
hattar 2y ago
uBO with the following custom filter fixed Reddit for me: ||reddit.com^$document @@||reddit.com/r/*/comments/$document It allows me to look at individual posts which lets me search and view specific answers, but blocks the lists of posts. I get the benefit of Reddit without getting sucked into the time wasting feed.
- netsharc 2y ago
  New job (or browser), first look into Stack Overflow, glance through "Hot Network Questions", install uBO, new custom rule (via the Block Element tool), edit it to apply to their millions of subdomains...

jajko 2y ago

Its a soul cancer, all 'social' networks are. More like asocial. In theory they could be a real added value for whole mankind, but corporate money and endless greed of those in power there made it what it is. To all ya working on making these misery machines even more efficient - you never feel ashamed of yourself for what you do? Is the money really worth losing respect for oneself and others as a good human being? Or it attracts same crowd as founder - asocial high performing sociopaths who couldn't care less?

wileydragonfly 2y ago

Yeah, I tried that, and then friends and neighbors show up and they’re all blitzing you with the same catch phrases and you’re sitting there flabbergasted. I hope the hole your head is buried in is comfortable.

renewedrebecca 2y ago
> I hope the hole your head is buried in is comfortable. Not being on Facebook is burying your head in a hole? I mean, really, why say something like that?
- TheNewsIsHere 2y ago
  It may shock some to learn that there are literally billions of people who aren’t on social media sites.
remuskaos 2y ago
I've been off Facebook for close to eight years, but somehow I still have friends who I can talk to.

TheNewsIsHere 2y ago

I am curious why you chose that route to abandon your Facebook account rather than deactivate or delete it. My concern in doing this would be that there is an authentic profile out there under my real name, now entirely (and effectively forever) beyond my control.