So the first lead coder was this Lucifer guy. Wrote the whole code for the physical universe layer in like days on Red Bull and maybe speed. Unfortunately he w

So the first lead coder was this Lucifer guy. Wrote the whole code for the physical universe layer in like days on Red Bull and maybe speed. Unfortunately he was shady and found to be embezzling from the company so he was fired. Only then did the team actually look at that code. Absolutely incomprehensible mess, and it looked like he left back doors in so he and his pals could manifest weird stuff in the universe and fuck with the inhabitants. Like get this... a human draws a five pointed star on the ground and says some weird stuff and it trips some code that looks like obfuscated malware that calls out to a dodgy server, but we can't remove it because the whole thing is a giant spaghetti monolith. The Lord put together a proper team of angelic hosts to rewrite the whole thing using solid software engineering practices, but of course that was aeons ago. But when it finally does ship we will get a new heaven and a new Earth with a whole list of promised features. Archangel Michael, who is in charge of the project, keeps moving the deadline back, but he says they're making progress. It's a microservice architecture.