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During my PhD at MIT my girlfriend asked me how I thought I would feel about those years in the future. I said relieved that it was over, as, although I loved e

During my PhD at MIT my girlfriend asked me how I thought I would feel about those years in the future. I said relieved that it was over, as, although I loved everything about the place, I felt constant pressure. She knew me better than I knew myself, it seems, as it was obvious to her that I would in fact long to be able to return to that time. I'm sure part of the longing is just due to the fact that I was in my 20s, living in my own nice on-campus apartment, and was hopeful that I had a bright future. Many people probably have a longing to be 23 again for similar reasons. However I think that what makes the feeling especially strong for me is that being at MIT added a feeling of privilege to every day. It created a sense of fulfilment, that I had done everything right and had succeeded. I don't think I could bear to visit now. The smell of the Infinite Corridor, the tunnels, Vassar Street, the Eastman Court trees in Autumn, or a warm summer evening by the Charles, would bring back memories that would be overwhelming.

ykonstant 2y ago
>'m sure part of the longing is just due to the fact that I was in my 20s, living in my own nice on-campus apartment, and was hopeful that I had a bright future. Many people probably have a longing to be 23 again for similar reasons. However I think that what makes the feeling especially strong for me is that being at MIT added a feeling of privilege to every day. It created a sense of fulfillment, that I had done everything right and had succeeded. I feel literally the same about my 20s (not at MIT, but thereabouts).
- lumost 2y ago
  It's the same reason why replaying the start of a video game feels satisfying. > hopeful that I had a bright future Life is full of choices—some small, like how to spend a day, and some large, like where to live or work. In youth, options feel endless, and many decisions are reversible. But as time passes, choices accumulate, obligations set in, and the future becomes more constrained. At some point, we realize that paths we once considered are now closed —backpacking across Europe in your 20s, starting a family before 60, or pursuing a dream we always deferred. The surplus of time and energy fades, and life starts to become... predictable. That's why the fantasy is alluring. It lets us revisit a time when anything felt possible.
  - dyauspitr 2y ago
    Starting a family at… 60?
    - lumost 2y ago
      Before 60, the max age to start a family is debatable. I used a number most would agree is inadvisable due to the likelihood you would see your children to their 18th birthday. Most would set a maximum age where they would want to start a family as something significantly earlier.
      - dyauspitr 2y ago
        Yeah I hope so. Anything above roughly 40 is only an option for men and if you have a kid at 60 then you’re going to be almost 80 (or worse- statistically speaking dead) when the kid leaves home. Not at all ideal.
generationP 2y ago
There are two kinds of MIT students: those who spend their time at MIT feeling they're not working enough, and those who spend their time after MIT feeling they haven't worked enough back at MIT. The intellectual atmosphere is really something -- I don't know any other place in the world where so many interesting ideas will be whooshing past you, vying for your time. If you get too used to it, wherever you go next will feel like a backwater.
- datameta 2y ago
  I wish this was explained more thoroughly at the age where "prestige" is a driving factor of applying to institutions. My college experience was devoid of obvious/visible/present intellectual stimulation, as a data point.
- eawgewag 2y ago
  Somehow I was/am both of those students at the same time!
  - Q6T46nT668w6i3m 2y ago
    Somehow I feel neither!
brightball 2y ago
My wife and I go back to Clemson every 1 or 2 months since we graduated 20+ years ago. Sometimes just for dinner, to take a walk. Sports helps of course because there's never a bad time to go to a football/soccer/basketball/baseball game. Even went to a club team rugby match one time. We take our kids there, show them around, tell them stories and get ice cream from the agricultural center. It's a beautiful place that we both love. Strongly encourage you to return as often as you can. Nostalgia is a wonderful thing. It's going to be a part of you for the rest of your life.
- iambateman 2y ago
  Hey! Ive worked for Clemson for about 8 years…it’s a wonderful place! I think I saw your Carolina codes mentioned at a PHPUpstate meetup.
  - brightball 2y ago
    Awesome! Call for Speakers is currently open too. https://carolina.codes https://carolina.codes
    - guiambros 2y ago
      Nice! Just a heads up that the YouTube link at the bottom of [1] is pointing to the wrong place. It seems it should be youtube.com/@CodesCarolina instead of youtube.com/@CarolinaCodeConference [1] https://blog.carolina.codes/p/call-for-speakers-2025-is-open https://blog.carolina.codes/p/call-for-speakers-2025-is-open
      - brightball 2y ago
        Thanks! I rebranded all of the social links to be uniformly @CodesCarolina and I thought I got them all. Good catch.
ghaff 2y ago
I've stayed pretty involved though go into Cambridge less than I used to; the traffic is just so bad. Even volunteer at an annual reunion event now even if I don't go to my own:-) It was good for me and, while my relationship has changed over time, don't really regret a lot. Definitely gave me a good start on a lot of things--not all academic.

ykonstant 2y ago

>'m sure part of the longing is just due to the fact that I was in my 20s, living in my own nice on-campus apartment, and was hopeful that I had a bright future. Many people probably have a longing to be 23 again for similar reasons. However I think that what makes the feeling especially strong for me is that being at MIT added a feeling of privilege to every day. It created a sense of fulfillment, that I had done everything right and had succeeded. I feel literally the same about my 20s (not at MIT, but thereabouts).

lumost 2y ago
It's the same reason why replaying the start of a video game feels satisfying. > hopeful that I had a bright future Life is full of choices—some small, like how to spend a day, and some large, like where to live or work. In youth, options feel endless, and many decisions are reversible. But as time passes, choices accumulate, obligations set in, and the future becomes more constrained. At some point, we realize that paths we once considered are now closed —backpacking across Europe in your 20s, starting a family before 60, or pursuing a dream we always deferred. The surplus of time and energy fades, and life starts to become... predictable. That's why the fantasy is alluring. It lets us revisit a time when anything felt possible.
- dyauspitr 2y ago
  Starting a family at… 60?
  - lumost 2y ago
    Before 60, the max age to start a family is debatable. I used a number most would agree is inadvisable due to the likelihood you would see your children to their 18th birthday. Most would set a maximum age where they would want to start a family as something significantly earlier.
    - dyauspitr 2y ago
      Yeah I hope so. Anything above roughly 40 is only an option for men and if you have a kid at 60 then you’re going to be almost 80 (or worse- statistically speaking dead) when the kid leaves home. Not at all ideal.

generationP 2y ago

There are two kinds of MIT students: those who spend their time at MIT feeling they're not working enough, and those who spend their time after MIT feeling they haven't worked enough back at MIT. The intellectual atmosphere is really something -- I don't know any other place in the world where so many interesting ideas will be whooshing past you, vying for your time. If you get too used to it, wherever you go next will feel like a backwater.

datameta 2y ago
I wish this was explained more thoroughly at the age where "prestige" is a driving factor of applying to institutions. My college experience was devoid of obvious/visible/present intellectual stimulation, as a data point.
eawgewag 2y ago
Somehow I was/am both of those students at the same time!
- Q6T46nT668w6i3m 2y ago
  Somehow I feel neither!

brightball 2y ago

My wife and I go back to Clemson every 1 or 2 months since we graduated 20+ years ago. Sometimes just for dinner, to take a walk. Sports helps of course because there's never a bad time to go to a football/soccer/basketball/baseball game. Even went to a club team rugby match one time. We take our kids there, show them around, tell them stories and get ice cream from the agricultural center. It's a beautiful place that we both love. Strongly encourage you to return as often as you can. Nostalgia is a wonderful thing. It's going to be a part of you for the rest of your life.

iambateman 2y ago
Hey! Ive worked for Clemson for about 8 years…it’s a wonderful place! I think I saw your Carolina codes mentioned at a PHPUpstate meetup.
- brightball 2y ago
  Awesome! Call for Speakers is currently open too. https://carolina.codes https://carolina.codes
  - guiambros 2y ago
    Nice! Just a heads up that the YouTube link at the bottom of [1] is pointing to the wrong place. It seems it should be youtube.com/@CodesCarolina instead of youtube.com/@CarolinaCodeConference [1] https://blog.carolina.codes/p/call-for-speakers-2025-is-open https://blog.carolina.codes/p/call-for-speakers-2025-is-open
    - brightball 2y ago
      Thanks! I rebranded all of the social links to be uniformly @CodesCarolina and I thought I got them all. Good catch.

ghaff 2y ago

I've stayed pretty involved though go into Cambridge less than I used to; the traffic is just so bad. Even volunteer at an annual reunion event now even if I don't go to my own:-) It was good for me and, while my relationship has changed over time, don't really regret a lot. Definitely gave me a good start on a lot of things--not all academic.