5 ms·
> Romance scams cost victims hundreds of millions of dollars a year. As people grow increasingly isolated “People” is accurate but this is largely a male domin
by ronnier 2y ago
> Romance scams cost victims hundreds of millions of dollars a year. As people grow increasingly isolated
“People” is accurate but this is largely a male dominated issue. Men are targeted at higher rates and fall for these scams at much higher rates.
Men need to be taught that random unknown women will largely not message them at random for sex. It’s almost always a scam. These scammers are playing on the psychology of men’s deep desperation to meet women, and as it has become harder for men to meet women over the last decade, men are falling victim to these scams in large numbers.
- cdrini 2y agoI don't think this is true, I've only ever seen women talk about losing money due to romance scams on the news. Do you have any citations?
- ronnier 2y agoI work on this very issue at one of the world’s largest social media companies. It’s completely male dominated.
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- cdrini 2y agoFascinating! Well if y'all haven't already, it would be great if you could publish a study of your findings; what you're describing is basically the exact opposite of what I expected based on other reporting.
- HPsquared 2y agoGentle reminder that news reporting is not a representative sample of, well, just about anything. It's highly selected and filtered through several layers. The same is true of a survey of internet posts, or online surveys btw. It's very hard to get representative samples.
- cdrini 2y agoStrong agree, you have to keep selection bias in mind. But I would expect news reporting to not be the exact opposite of what was being proposed in the comment -- bias and all!
- squigz 2y agoLikewise, a random comment by someone who claims they work on this problem isn't a very representative sample.
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- pelagicAustral 2y agoWell, it could be a matter of woman, in this case, being far more willing to come forward and talk about their experience. The male ego being fragile and all... Sort of the same that happens with domestic violence, there is a segment of the male population that have been victim of abuse, but when push comes to shove, anything related to that subject is don't ask, don't tell.
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- HPsquared 2y agoMen generally avoid posting their L's.
- PaulHoule 2y agoIf it is older folks, it is more likely to be women who are unattached since: (1) women live longer than men, (2) women usually marry men older then them.
- autobodie 2y agoSource? A lot of the investigative reporting I've seen covers women targets. Maybe they just think women make better stories, but women do spend more time on dating apps than men. Women participate differently, but they definitely participate, and women are extremely vulnerable to emotional exploitation.
- ronnier 2y agoI work on this problem at one of the world’s largest social media companies. I deal with it 7 days a week for several years now. This is my life and it’s extremely sad as to how people are being exploited in these scams.
- autobodie 2y agoWhy do avaiable sources claim otherwise? Statista has a report indicating 53% of victims are men and 47% of victims are women. https://www.statista.com/statistics/1481218/us-online-dating-service-users-scams-by-gender https://www.statista.com/statistics/1481218/us-online-dating... Additionally, the FTC says women report significantly higher financial losses than men. https://www.ftc.gov/news-events/data-visualizations/data-spotlight/2023/02/romance-scammers-favorite-lies-exposed?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://www.ftc.gov/news-events/data-visualizations/data-spo...
- ronnier 2y agopossible reasons I can think of 1) these are based on self reporting and it’s very possible men report at lower rates. 2) it’s possible that the scams happen outside of the areas where I have insights (social media)
- autobodie 2y agoAlso, the specific social media network you work at would skew your perspective. I would bet money that romance scam victims are overwhelmingly men on TikTok but overwhelmingly women on Facebook.
- oulipo 2y agoPerhaps, but then what? Why not just say "we should educate everybody about this problem"? Why does it add something to point out that men are more victims?
- jajko 2y agoYeah if cute woman wants to have sex with you out of blue its either scam or you are so attractive overall that you dont need to look for women and its more of a nuissance that they keep hitting on you (I talk about balanced guys and not broken ones riddled with daddy issues who always sleep around)
- cmdtab 2y agoWhat kind of male demographic falls for these scams the most?
- throwaway48duf 2y agoMy sister and I hopefully banged into our father's head saying almost everyone on the internet is a trash connection and never to be trusted unless you have met them in person. Do not accept or respond to any messages on your phone or on the Internet from strangers. Overall I don't think he ever got scammed with us banging all that into his head while my close friends' father has been scammed numerous times. They had to take away his bank account access after learning of him being scammed. They did so cause they know he still would continue to talk & give money to these totally fake ...beautiful young people who said they loved him. Personally i think it's best to treat everyone on the internet as scammer until they have proven else-wise. On dating apps I will ask to see if they want to do a video chat or set up a date in a few days or more once we've connected conversationally. If they don't they are a suspect scammer to me and I move onto the next (flat out then tell them i think u might be a scammer ..i am not and want to show you i am genuine looking for a real relationship). Tho video chat soon-ish via deepfakes won't be able to be trusted. I saw a Chinese nationalist try to deepfake ID.me (IRS's authentication system). Thus in person in a few days to less then two weeks to meet for a date is best to ensure real or forget it!