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I'm convinced real coaching doesn't exist. I don't think I've ever had real coaching. I've even requested additional coaching as a medical accommodation. It's j

I'm convinced real coaching doesn't exist. I don't think I've ever had real coaching. I've even requested additional coaching as a medical accommodation. It's just additional low quality feedback. There's no focus on growth or improvement. I have no doubt that I'm not living up to my potential. I don't see any way to get there given my disability and lack of real coaching.

__loam 2y ago
I've noticed this too. If you want to get better, you're basically responsible for doing it in your own time. Using work time for unproductive learning seems frowned on and punished.
- giantg2 2y ago
  Who defines what "better" is?
  - takemetoearth 2y ago
    Whoever has the power to fire you.
    - giantg2 2y ago
      So it's always changing
- deleted 2y ago
  [deleted]
soulofmischief 2y ago
That's annoying. What do you feel you're struggling with? What's your disability?
- giantg2 2y ago
  Basically, politics. ASD.
  - soulofmischief 2y ago
    Hah, know what you mean. I'm ADHD and also incapable of entertaining bureaucracy. My personal solution to the bureaucracy and lack of perceived mentorship in our industry was just to work in small teams, startups, cultivating executive skill so that the number of people I have to argue with decreases. I mentor a few juniors and CS students outside of work and it's rewarding, but it frequently makes me wish I had a mentor of my own as well, ideally someone with ADHD who could give me specific advice. I guess all we can do is be the change we want to see in the world, and to stay vigilant against bureaucratic systems. My advice is to figure out exactly where you want to be and make no compromises on getting there. It can be difficult navigating politics with ASD, but over time it can become one of your greatest assets as you pay more attention to it than the average person. I know this seems like a vague generality, but without knowing specifics all I can offer is general advice.
localghost3000 2y ago
Coaching exists. I've had it and done it. I've worked with folks with disabilities too and been able to help them grow. The problem is that companies often promote folks with excellent technical skills into people centric roles like an EM. Sometimes you get lucky and they are naturally good at the stuff. But more often than not, they really struggle. It's a conundrum. If you hire someone who nails it on the people stuff but is weaker on the technical side then they aren't able to make informed decisions. I've been head of eng before. It's a hard job and I ultimately switched jobs to go back to IC work. I took the coaching aspect seriously when I was in the role though. I think ultimately you need to understand what your report wants and give them projects, feedback, and resources to achieve those goals. The big caveat being that sometimes the role that person is looking for isn't available. You can't have an entire team of principle engineers for example. So another aspect is to be clear about what is and isn't possible in terms of career path at your co. and try to find other incentives like pay etc to keep them happy. YMMV of course.
jcims 2y ago
That's probably in part because mid-level management (like me) didn't get promoted to that role because we are great coaches. I spend the vast majority of my time putting out fires, protecting the team from bullshit, making offerings to the audit monster and running the corporate HR playbook. I probably spend an hour a month for each of my 15 directs really trying to think how to help them improve their skills and advance their career.
golergka 2y ago
> I'm convinced real coaching doesn't exist. Aristotle would disagree.

__loam 2y ago

I've noticed this too. If you want to get better, you're basically responsible for doing it in your own time. Using work time for unproductive learning seems frowned on and punished.

giantg2 2y ago
Who defines what "better" is?
- takemetoearth 2y ago
  Whoever has the power to fire you.
  - giantg2 2y ago
    So it's always changing
deleted 2y ago
[deleted]

soulofmischief 2y ago

That's annoying. What do you feel you're struggling with? What's your disability?

giantg2 2y ago
Basically, politics. ASD.
- soulofmischief 2y ago
  Hah, know what you mean. I'm ADHD and also incapable of entertaining bureaucracy. My personal solution to the bureaucracy and lack of perceived mentorship in our industry was just to work in small teams, startups, cultivating executive skill so that the number of people I have to argue with decreases. I mentor a few juniors and CS students outside of work and it's rewarding, but it frequently makes me wish I had a mentor of my own as well, ideally someone with ADHD who could give me specific advice. I guess all we can do is be the change we want to see in the world, and to stay vigilant against bureaucratic systems. My advice is to figure out exactly where you want to be and make no compromises on getting there. It can be difficult navigating politics with ASD, but over time it can become one of your greatest assets as you pay more attention to it than the average person. I know this seems like a vague generality, but without knowing specifics all I can offer is general advice.

localghost3000 2y ago

Coaching exists. I've had it and done it. I've worked with folks with disabilities too and been able to help them grow. The problem is that companies often promote folks with excellent technical skills into people centric roles like an EM. Sometimes you get lucky and they are naturally good at the stuff. But more often than not, they really struggle. It's a conundrum. If you hire someone who nails it on the people stuff but is weaker on the technical side then they aren't able to make informed decisions. I've been head of eng before. It's a hard job and I ultimately switched jobs to go back to IC work. I took the coaching aspect seriously when I was in the role though. I think ultimately you need to understand what your report wants and give them projects, feedback, and resources to achieve those goals. The big caveat being that sometimes the role that person is looking for isn't available. You can't have an entire team of principle engineers for example. So another aspect is to be clear about what is and isn't possible in terms of career path at your co. and try to find other incentives like pay etc to keep them happy. YMMV of course.

jcims 2y ago

That's probably in part because mid-level management (like me) didn't get promoted to that role because we are great coaches. I spend the vast majority of my time putting out fires, protecting the team from bullshit, making offerings to the audit monster and running the corporate HR playbook. I probably spend an hour a month for each of my 15 directs really trying to think how to help them improve their skills and advance their career.

golergka 2y ago

> I'm convinced real coaching doesn't exist. Aristotle would disagree.